Destiny (13 page)

"All of us, or just me?" Driff asked, again showing that incredible insight that was so much a part of him. "I have the feeling you mean just me, but I don't understand why that is."

Idresia took a deep breath at she stared at Driff, her hand closing more tightly around his. Edmin felt her very great reluctance to go into details, but her inner strength was enough to overcome any weakening emotion.

"We were discussing how nice it would be to have a Blending that was just ours to use," she began, doing nothing to avoid Driff's stare. "Ours to use for anything that we felt was necessary, without having to spend all kinds of time talking the Blending members into going along with us. That's when Asri pointed out that
we
six could Blend, and then we'd have what we need."

Edmin's surprise was so strong that he almost missed the reactions of the other men. Kail's matching surprise turned almost at once into full agreement, but Driff… Driff's expression showed nothing, but on the inside the man was floundering in fear and distress.

"But you don't
want
to Blend, do you, Driff?" Idresia said, showing the same insight that Driff usually did. "You don't think that Blending is a good idea at all."

"You don't understand," Driff said, shaking his head as he released Idresia's hand and straightened. "It's not that I don't
want
to Blend with all of you, it's just - "

Driff's words broke off as he gestured vaguely with one hand, an effort to show that he couldn't put his feelings into a form that others would understand. Edmin felt confused for a moment, but then suddenly, without warning, everything came clear.

"You're afraid to Blend because you're afraid to be part of something that's closer than a family," Edmin said, this time speaking deliberately. "Too often families aren't what they're supposed to be, and you're afraid you'll be trapped in a nightmare. That's it, isn't it, Driff?"

"That's exactly it," Driff agreed, his slight frown almost lost behind the extreme distress that now showed clearly on his face. "You're really good, Edmin, but I don't see how knowing what the problem is will help. I …
can't
agree to being part of something that might trap me forever."

"I think the key word there is 'trap,'" Asri said when everyone else remained silent, their emotions roiling. "I had almost the same reaction when I first understood that we could make a Blending. I was born into a family that put me directly into a trap, and I was kept there until they opened the trap so that the husband they chose for me could put me into
his
trap. For a long time I believed that there was nothing I could do to escape, and then I realized that it was the child I'd been who was helpless. The woman I'd become was far from helpless as long as I refused to go along with my captors, which I did as soon as I understood my true position. They might have been able to kill me, but from the moment I understood the truth they were never able to own me again."

"I learned the same lesson, but sooner," Idresia said with a nod and a faint smile for Asri. "I was only twelve when my mother brought home a new boyfriend, but I'd had years to learn that no one on the street was able to push me around unless I allowed it. When my mother's new boyfriend tried to … 'show me how much he loved me,' I broke a heavy pitcher over his head and then ran away from home. My mother was prepared to let him do anything he liked because she was afraid of not having a man around to lean on, but I didn't need
anyone
to know I was strong. I stayed independent until I met
you
, Driff, and then I happily agreed to stop being a loner. But only because your strength added to mine, rather than trying to displace mine. And that's what a true Blending is supposed to be, my love. Something to add to your strength, not ruin it."

"Don't you think I know that?" Driff came back, but his words were more haunted than hostile. "I've always felt stronger with you beside me, Issini and Edmin bolstered that strength, and now we have Kail and Asri to add even more. We all seem to
belong
together, but the fear inside me isn't rational. It makes me think that if we Blend I'll be trapped, and there isn't enough strength in the world to let me face something like
that
."

"If you're serious about wanting to get around the problem, there are two things we can do," Edmin said slowly, hating the taste of the fear that turned Driff helpless in its grasp. "
Are
you serious, or would you rather I minded my own business?"

"You might say that this
is
your business," Driff answered slowly after a moment, now studying Edmin with a hint of suspicion and uneasiness. "What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing you won't be able to refuse to agree to," Edmin replied firmly, doing nothing to avoid Driff's gaze. "In fact, the first part of my suggestion is nothing but words. Would you like to hear them?"

"I've been successfully resisting people's words for a long time now," Driff said with a faint smile, almost as though he were thinking aloud. "Go ahead and say what you like."

"What I have to say is more of a narrative," Edmin told him, then gestured to the table. "Why don't we all sit down and get more comfortable, and then I can start."

The suggestion wasn't one to put anyone on their guard, so Driff joined Kail and Edmin in taking chairs around the table. Idresia and Issini got up and went into the kitchen area, and in a moment they'd returned with cups of tea for the three men. After thanking Issini for his own cup, Edmin turned back to Driff.

"You probably don't know this, but I had the chance to …
look
rather closely at the last noble Blending," Edmin began after taking a sip of his tea. "Since no one knew I was doing it, there was no reason not to indulge my curiosity. What I discovered made me believe that the reign of my peers was about to come to an end, because those five people who were supposed to be closer than a family actually disliked each other intensely."

Driff, Idresia, and Issini made sounds of surprise, but Kail and Asri didn't share the emotion.

"I would have bet gold on that point," Kail said, Asri showing a wry expression at the same time. "I knew almost all of those people and even tried to warn my father about some of them, but my father was too arrogantly sure of himself to listen. When the five of them were put together, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that they hated the idea of being together and only later did that change."

"It changed because three of the other four were put under Kambil Arstin's control," Edmin said, and this time it was Asri, Issini, and Kail who looked surprised. Driff and Idresia seemed to know about that, which helped a small bit. "Deep down those people hated to
be
together, but they were still able to work together."

"If your point isn't that they were High talents, I don't understand," Driff said after sipping again at his own tea. "What difference does it make whether or not they liked each other?"

"My point is that they didn't really like each other, but they were still able to Blend," Edmin said, speaking rather slowly to let Driff actually hear what he was saying. "If you don't like someone but agree to work with them, you aren't trapped you're compromising. And from what I've heard, toward the end the five weren't even working together. That means it's possible to refuse to Blend, which in turn means that Blending isn't the trap you seem to think it is."

"You're right about their not Blending at the end," Idresia said just before turning to a frowning Driff. "You know that yourself, Driff, so you can't argue the point. If something happens in the Blending that you don't like, you can always refuse to Blend again."

"In my head I understand that point and agree with it," Driff said, his expression wry. "The trouble is, my reluctance is more in my gut than in my head. My head understands your point and agrees with it, Edmin, but my gut seems determined to refuse to listen to reason."

"Then this is where my second suggestion comes in," Edmin said, knowing there was no sense in delaying. "If your head really wants to do this thing, I can help you overcome your … gut. But I won't do it unless you really want me to. I respect you too much to tamper with your beliefs."

This time there was nothing but silence and expectation to greet Edmin's words. All eyes were on Driff, but Driff's gaze was lost to the distance as he frowned at whatever he saw. Confusion still roiled as heavily as ever in Driff, with apprehension now added to the rest.

"Driff, do you understand what Edmin is saying?" Idresia murmured after a very long moment as she took her man's hand. "You don't have to fight your fears and win over them without anything to help you. Edmin can make it possible for us to Blend the first time, and if you don't like what happens you can refuse to do it again. If he meant to force you into cooperating he would have already done it, so you don't have to worry that it will happen the next time. And you really ought to know that you might not be the one who refuses next time."

"What?" Driff said, blinking back to the world around him. "What do you mean, I might not be the one to refuse next time? I thought that everyone really wanted the Blending."

"Well, speaking only for myself, I have no idea what Blending is like," Idresia told him, her lips curved in a very unsteady smile. "I'm willing to try it if
you're
one of those I'll be Blending with, but being willing to try something once doesn't mean I'll want to do it again. I've … heard that Fire is supposed to be the most important talent in a Blending, and I don't understand that - or particularly like the idea. If we're all supposed to be equals in a Blending, why would the Fire talent be so important?"

"Fire is the talent that guards the Blending, attacking or defending as needed," Kail said, surprising everyone including Edmin. "Very frankly, Idresia, I can't see you
not
guarding and defending under any circumstance at all. The protectiveness is part of you, not something you'll have to go looking for."

"How do
you
know about Blendings, Kail?" Driff asked before Edmin could put the same question. "I know you're right, but how do you know so much?"

"I was trained in the use of my talent in Astinda," Kail answered, his open expression matching the same emotion on the inside. "After we finished the training class, the last thing we were told was how to Blend. In Astinda they
expect
people to go on to wanting to Blend, and making sure everyone knows how to do it is a way of being certain that the information doesn't become restricted to a small group the way it happened here."

"That's one of the reasons the information is spread far and wide here now," Driff said with something of a nod. "No one wants to give a new nobility the chance to own us again… No, I still can't agree on my own, even though a part of me really wants to. The rest of me is still a frightened little boy, so it looks like I'm going to have to take you up on your offer, Edmin."

"Are you sure, Driff?" Edmin asked quietly, more than aware of the man's inner reluctance. "I can tell how unhappy you are at the thought of being 'forced,' and I really don't want to do that to you."

"But you'll be doing it with my permission, which makes all the difference as far as
I'm
concerned," Driff answered, and then he drew a deep breath before laughing just a bit. "Besides, if I actually do it, I won't have to put up with every other High talent I run across making the effort to talk me into trying. It may also help me to work harder to find a way to wake them all up."

"Since the Blending will increase your ability, that might be the key to ending the problem," Kail said with a small frown. "And since you said that every High talent in the city was affected whether or not they were in a Blending, we don't have to worry that Blending will put
us
at risk."

"You know, I missed that point," Driff said with brows high, his inner turmoil actually easing enough for Edmin to notice. "Being part of a Blending
will
give me a better chance to bring the Highs back to themselves, so what are we waiting for?"

"Actually, we're waiting for someone to tell us how to do this thing," Idresia said dryly as the rest of them chuckled. "We
were
waiting for some blockhead to make up his mind, but now that the blockhead has seen the light we just need instructions."

"I guess Kail and I can supply the instructions, but the blockhead hasn't yet seen enough of the light," Driff answered with shamefaced amusement. "Edmin, if you'll help me out here, we can get started today instead of some time next year."

"Of course," Edmin answered with a smile, and then reached toward the man. Soothing the roiling conflict inside Driff was actually almost effortless, now that Driff had a reason of his own to want to Blend. Edmin had thought that he might actually have to control Driff, but soothing seemed to do the trick.

"Yes, that's much better," Driff said as he got to his feet, showing a wide smile. "I
am
going to try this, and if I don't like it I just won't do it again. Let's all stand over there."

Driff had gestured to the space between the door and the table, so Edmin joined the others in rising and walking to the spot. Both Driff and Kail directed everyone into standing in a group, with Idresia first, then Edmin and the rest lined up loosely behind her. Kail and Issini stood sort of to either side of the line, but both of them looked at Asri with perplexity.