Destined to Change (21 page)

“Oh, sweetie, Mommy’s fine. Just thinking about stuff. Don’t worry about me.” I put a smile on my face for Mags, but when I looked in the rearview mirror and caught a glimpse of Cade that smile quickly faded.

We pulled down our drive and Cade pulled right up beside us. The kids jumped out of the jeep and ran in the house. I nodded to Clay and had them follow us in.

“Nice place ya got here, Loralei,” I heard Cade say as we were walking in the house.

I kept walking, “Thanks, we like it.”

After they removed their hats at the door and hung them on the rack on the wall, I led Clay and Cade into the kitchen. They had a seat at the table. Sammy and Mags were already getting in the fridge and pulling out the sandwich fixings. The table was covered with lunch meat, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, olives, pickles, mayo, mustard, and bread.

“Boy, when ya’ll say sandwich, you mean sandwich.” Clay sounded in awe of our sandwich fixings.

Mags said, “Sammy, throw me the bread.” Sammy picked up the loaf and threw it at Mags head.

Cade jumped up and caught it in the air. He passed it to Mags. “Here ya go, sweetie.”

She blushed and smiled, “Thanks.”

We sat around the table and ate. Clay and Cade were pretty funny.

“Knock knock,” Clay said to the kids.

Sammy said, “Who’s there?”

“Yah.”

“Yah who?”

Clay started cracking up, “Yah HOO, ride ‘em cowboy!”

Cade said, “I’ve got one. “What did the horse say when it fell?”

Sammy and Mags were really thinking about it. Finally, Sammy looked at Mags. “We give up. What did it say?”

“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy-up,” Cade was laughing so hard he was shaking. Even though the joke wasn’t that funny, his laughter was contagious. Before I knew it, we were all doubled over laughing.

Then Cade smacked Clay upside the head. “Get your elbows off the table. Your momma raised you better than that.”

Clay smacked him back. “Don’t hit me in front of the kids.”

“Didn’t you just hit me?”

“I was protectin’ myself.”

Then Cade smacked Clay on the back of the head again. “What the hell, man?” Clay whined.

“I said get your elbows off the damn table.”

Clay jabbed his elbow into Cade’s ribs. Cade screamed out, grabbed Clay by the back of the head and body slammed him on the ground. Clay was laughing as Cade had him flat on his back. “You said get ‘em off the table. You didn’t tell me where to put ‘em.”

The kids and I were watching, not really knowing if we should intervene or not.

Mags said, “Mommy, what’s wrong with these cowboys?”

I grinned at Mags “Honey, you’ll learn this soon enough. Cowboys are all a little silly.”

Cade and Clay looked up at me and laughed. We spent the rest of the lunch laughing. It was nice to not think about Jaxon for a bit. I wasn’t the only one who missed him. The kids had been asking about him ever since he left. That was what I had been afraid of when I opened my heart up to him. I couldn’t stand to see the kids hurt. This was the first time since he had left weeks ago that we were all laughing and having a good time.

When lunch was over the kids ran outside to play, and Clay went out to the truck to make a phone call. Cade and I were sitting in my living room.

“Well this isn’t weird at all, is it?” He ran his hands through his hair. Messing up that already messed up blonde head of hair.

“Why are you really here, Cade? There’s no future for us, you understand that, right?”

Cade was trying to look innocent. He had on his best “good little country boy” face. “I do, I’m just here for the cattle. I thought it was going to be here today. George said it was. I had no idea the shipment had been put off.”

“I am still not quite sure why you need to be here for the delivery.”

“George called and there have been some problems with the cattle. A whole bunch of ‘em came down with something pretty bad. He said we would need to decide which ones we each wanted to keep. He said he would work out the money stuff later. Said he’d give us a hell of a deal next year.”

“Okay, guess that makes sense. Well since the delivery isn’t going to be here until Monday, you and Clay are welcome to stay here at the ranch. We have an old log cabin down by the pond. It’s all set up. You can eat in the barn office with the farmhands.”

Cade gave me a little sheepish grin, “Well, that’s mighty thoughtful of ya, Loralei. I would hate to impose, but since you’re offering we’ll take ya up on it.”

I had Cade and Clay follow me to the cabin. I showed them around the cabin and helped them get settled in. I told them about the diner in town so they could grab some dinner. And I let them know that breakfast would be served in the barn office at 6:00 a.m. I headed home with the understanding that I would see them at breakfast.

Cade

I didn’t sleep an hour last night. I couldn’t believe I was finally here. Finally this close to her, and I couldn’t touch her. I couldn’t kiss her. I couldn’t be with her. I needed this woman. She had gotten under my skin like no other woman ever had. I didn’t just want her, which I did more than anything, I needed her.

I was up showered, shaved, and ready for breakfast before Clay even crawled his lazy ass out of bed. “If you wanna eat breakfast, you better get your ass in gear, boy.”

“I’m coming. Don’t get your panties in a wad, Cade.”

Little bastard. I should’ve left him at home and let that dude kick his ass. He needed to be taught a lesson. But of course I couldn’t do that to him. I happened to love the little bastard.

We got in the truck and headed to the barn office. When we got there I noticed about eight guys walking with Loralei toward the office. Damn that woman was spectacular. I could spend an entire lifetime just looking at her. Taking her all in. All day, every damn day. I was afraid if I wasn’t with her soon, “cowboy” would never work right again.

All the guys were hanging on every word she said. Not like in a sexual way, like in a respectful way. That woman had the power over those men. They definitely knew who the boss was. Damn, I couldn’t wait to find out everything about this woman that was takin’ over my every thought. Just from what little I knew, I didn’t think she could be any more perfect.

She caught a glimpse of us pulling in, and I could tell she wasn’t real happy to see me. That was killing me. I wanted her to feel somethin’ for me, but not hate. I wanted her to want me the way I wanted her.

Clay and I parked and headed into the barn office. Loralei was already sitting at the big round table in the middle of the great room. This barn was huge. I could tell she had put some work into this place. It looked like we walked into a banquet hall instead of a barn. The great room was surrounded on the right with several offices. And on the left with restrooms, a kitchen, and a couple of sleeping quarters, I assumed they were for the farmhands who had to work overnight during birthing season.

This barn was almost identical to mine. I wondered if we had the same guy work on our remodels. I thought I might ask her about that after we had sex again. Definitely not before. Priorities.

I walked over to Loralei, dragging Clay’s tired ass behind me. “Good mornin’, Loralei.” I tipped my hat.

Without looking up at me, she said, “Good morning, Cade. I assume ya’ll slept well?”

I wanted to be honest with her and tell her
hell no
, I didn’t sleep well. I didn’t sleep a fucking hour because all I could think about was burying myself as deep in her as I could get. I thought that might scare her, so I told her, “Yes, ma’am. Thanks for askin’.”

“Well, ya’ll can grab some breakfast and then you’re more than welcome to get your hands dirty out on the farm. Jake will show ya around, and put you both to work, I assume.”

An older gray haired man was sitting next to Loralei, just laughed, and nodded his head at me. “I assume we could find something to keep ya’ll busy.”

I sure as hell didn’t come here to work, but I wasn’t above gettin’ my hands dirty either. “Sounds like a mighty fine idea. You just tell us what to do and we’ll do it.”

Clay looked like he was gonna hit me. He didn’t like to work on my farm and I paid him, he sure wasn’t happy about working for free.

Loralei

I was having a hard time focusing today. I hadn’t been feeling real good and with Cade being here, I just felt out of sorts. He had been here less than a day, and he was already turning my life upside down. If I was being honest with myself, I would have to admit, I missed Jaxon. I knew I had sent him away, but the thought of never seeing him again was tearing me up inside. He needed to be with
his
family. As much as I wanted that family to include me and the twins, it just didn’t. I was going to have to get over him. But I wasn’t sure how to go about doing that.

I walked down to the horse barn to see if the guys needed any help, when I saw him. Cade. He was standing in one of the stalls. He had his shirt off, and he was bent over mucking out the stall. Holy hell, that man was built. And so tall. His blonde hair was slick with sweat. His Wranglers were hugging him in all the right places. He had on his boots, but his hat was hanging on the door of the stall.

He turned around to shovel some crap out of the stall and our eyes met. Not real romantic, you know, with the crap and all. But his eyes - he looked so happy to see me. His eyes were smiling. I know that sounds weird, but that’s the only way to describe it. He really was happy to see me.

Why did I hate him so much? He hadn’t taken advantage of me. I had started everything with him. Any guy would’ve done the same thing. He really did do things to me, things that I had never dreamed of another man doing to me.

“Well, hello hon. Come to help the men work?” He smirked.

I walked toward him and crossed my arms over my chest, “No, I think I’ll leave the shit shoveling to ya’ll. Men seem to be pretty good at that.”

He just laughed at me, that deep belly laugh that I remembered from our dinner together. I turned around to start out of the stall when I lost my balance and started to fall. Before I knew what was happening, I was in Cade’s arms and he was lowering me to the ground. He was cradling my head and I felt like I was going to pass out. I was really weak and shaking all over. I realized I broke out in a sweat.

“Hon, are you okay? What can I do?” Cade looked really scared. He was white as a ghost.

“I’m fine, Cade. Just help me stand up will ya?”

With that Cade lifted me and then sat me down on my wobbly legs. I couldn’t get my balance and then everything went black.

Chapter 13

Loralei

I was so comfortable. I hadn’t been this relaxed in years. I opened my eyes, and I was in a very familiar place. I looked all around the room. Declan’s room. I was lying in his bed. I could feel someone nuzzled up to my side. I turned and looked down and was staring into the most beautiful crystal blue eyes I had ever seen. Declan’s eyes. I reached out and touched his face. How was this happening? This couldn’t be real. Declan had been gone for so long.

“Declan, sweetie, is that really you?”

In that sexy southern drawl I had missed so much, he said, “Good mornin’ sweetheart. How ya feelin’?” Then he gave me that smirk. Oh my god, how I had missed that smirk. I couldn’t help it, I broke into tears. He leaned up and kissed my cheek, kissing my tears away. “Lor, please don’t cry. I love you so much - I always loved you. What happened to me was not your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become. I’m so sorry that I haven’t been there for you and our babies, Lor. You have no idea how much I wanted to grow old with you. How I wanted that destiny we had always dreamed of. The two kids, the big front porch to sit on and watch our grandkids play. I wanted all of that with you Lor, but sometimes your destiny has to change. Sometimes life gets in the way, and you have to change your plans. But you rolled with the punches, and you became the amazing, strong woman that is here today.”

I turned over to where we were lying face to face. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek and just stared into his eyes. I didn’t want to look away. I didn’t want this dream to end. “Dec, what’s going on? Why am I here like this? Oh my god, did I die? Where are my babies?”

Declan wrapped me in his arms. “You are not dead baby, but I am. You can’t live another minute for me. This life is yours, and you have to start living it. I want you to be happy. Do you hear me, Lor? You deserve to be happy. Do you think Jaxon would make you happy?”

I didn’t know how to answer that question. I believed that I did love Jaxon, but after everything that happened, I just didn’t know anymore. “I don’t know, Dec. I just don’t know.”

“Would Cade make you happy?” He tucked my hair behind my ear.

“No Declan, I don’t think he would. I don’t feel for him the way I felt about you. I’ve never felt that way about anyone.”

Declan looked down at me, piercing me with those beautiful crystal blue eyes that I had missed so much. “Does Jaxon make you smile, Lor? When he looks at you, does your heart skip a beat? Does he give you those butterflies deep in your belly?”

I knew the answer - he did, he did all of that. “Yes, he does Declan, he really does. But so much has happened. I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Lor, if you love each other, ya’ll will find a way. You need to make it work. There is nothing I want more for you than happiness.”

I couldn’t stop crying. I knew this was gonna end. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to stay here like this forever.

“Dec, you know how much I loved you, right?”

He nodded, and kissed my hand that he was holding. “Sammy looks just like you. He is such a handful, but he has such a big heart. Your mom has a really hard time watching him play sometimes. I know it’s because he reminds her so much of you. He looks and acts just like you. Mags is my little princess. She’s perfect, Dec. She’s got your eyes, but otherwise she looks like me. She is a sweetheart. She’s a little shy, but I think she’ll come into her own soon.”