Derailed (4 page)

“I’m sorry, Ritchie,” Liefie finally whispers, furiously wiping away tears. “About every –”

“Shhh!” I say. “It’s okay. I love you. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

She clutches at me and sobs noisily into my chest, wetting my shirt and eliciting curious stares from passersby. 

When I finally release her, I turn to Vlad. “Congratulations, Dad.” I thrust out my hand. “
Dad
.”

He wipes his eyes with the back of his knuckles before he takes my hand with both of his. “Thank you, Ritchie.” He pulls me in for a hug and I engage in some backslapping.

When he releases me, he reaches out and hugs my ex-wife to him. “Told you everything was going to be okay,” he murmurs.

Watching the two of them so happy, looking so relieved, makes me believe I did the right thing by making my peace with them. At that moment I also am thankful to have someone like Vlad in our lives. He’s more of a man than I am by far – he could love a woman for who she is. That’s big. Huge. He’s just a perfect fit for our family. 

“Whachu got to eat?” I ask, patting my stomach. “I’m starving.”

“Well,” Vlad says. “We were going to dinner. Why don’t you join us? In fact, why don’t we
all
go to dinner and celebrate? Huh?” He looks at me with eyebrows raised.

“Eh, yeah, if you’re paying.”

He laughs. “Of course I’m paying. I’m going to be a dad!” He looks at my ex-wife. “Liefie? Wanna call Arena and invite them all? It’s on me, sweetheart.”

She nods and gets on the phone. Soon, Bear, Arena, me, Girly and the kids prepare to go to dinner. Except Rival. She isn’t invited. I didn’t think about her not being invited when I agreed to go to dinner with Vlad and Liefie. How do I leave her home on a Saturday night? I feel really bad about it, but how the hell do I duck out of this dinner?

“What is it?” Vlad asks.

I look at him, then at Liefie, who’s on the phone with Girly, my housekeeper. “Vlad…” I wriggle my lips.

“Rival?” he whispers.

“Wha…?”

“You wanna invite her?”

“Eh…” How the hell does he know?

“Is she at your house?”

Feeling like I’m five years old, I bob my head.
Yes sir.

He flexes his fingers at me. “Give me her number.”

After another nervous glance at Liefie, I pull out my phone and give him Rival’s number.

I watch in silence as he texts her.

When his phone lights up, he smiles. “She’s in.”

I’m not yet relieved.  “Eh, Vlad about…?” I jerk my chin toward Liefie.

“I’ll take care of it,” he says in a no-nonsense voice.

I nod.
Thank you sir.

If Liefie is taken aback at the sight of Rival at dinner, she says nothing. I think she assumed that Arena invited Rival. I’m pleased to have Rival join us, but we do our best to avoid each other during dinner, and somehow, by the time dinner is over, our secret is still intact. 

But Vlad and I – we now share a secret. Did I mention he’s quite a guy? Well, he is. If ever I should get to keep a gratitude journal like Rival does, I will put his name in it.  Write it, or mention it – whatever one does with that sort of thing.

Chapter Three

RITCHIE

It is while dropping off my kids at Liefie’s that I notice the
For Sale
board on the property across from Liefie’s. It’s a huge property, but it’s really neglected. As I stare at it, my mind races. Liefie lives in a cul-de-sac, and the only other house close to hers is the one I’m looking at. Imagine if I lived across from Liefie – my kids would have daily access to their mother. The thought has me walking over and peering at the photographs on the board. The double-story property has five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a hovel of a kitchen, a double garage and a fair-sized garden. 

Sure it would need a truckload of cash to fix, but, besides the great location, I see potential in the property. Then I spot something else – between the two houses is also a small piece of land, about two hundred and twenty square meters. Not big enough to build a decent property on, so that’s probably why it’s vacant. Who owns this piece of land? I wonder. With my mind racing, I dial the real estate agent’s number on the for sale board. “I’m outside the property,” I say to the agent. “Any chance of viewing it right now?”

To my absolute delight, the agent arrives ten minutes later. By then I have gathered Vlad and Liefie to view the house with me. We three talk excitedly among ourselves as we trek through the property.  

“Who owns that vacant plot?” I ask the agent.

“Council,” he answers.

I smile.

“What?” Liefie asks.

I shake my head and turn to the agent. “I want to make the vendor an offer.”

Liefie’s eyes turn large. “Ritchie! You sure?” 

I hold up my hand. “I got this, Liefie.”

She clams up and looks at Vlad.

“He knows what he’s doing,” Vlad says, putting his arm around her shoulders and tucking her into him. “Relax, sweetheart. Stressing is not good for the baby.”

Twenty-four hours later I am the proud purchaser of the house across Liefie’s. Sweet. I can’t wait to give my kids the great news. They will be most excited. And Girly, she’s bound to love the spaciousness of the property. And Rival, boy does she have a lot to do here!

RITCHIE

“Daddy, it’s awful!” Ally says, eyeing the property with huge eyes.

“Ally, it’s not,” I say.

“Yuck, Pig!” Becky says. “Yucky, yuck!”

“Becky, it isn’t that bad. Hey, c’mon you guys.”

I turn to Girly for moral support. “Girly, tell…” The words die on my lips when I see my housekeeper standing with both hands clenched to her chest, her dark eyes darting around the place as if Freddy Krueger is going to appear any moment now.

“Jesus God, Pig. You want me to move
here
?” She shakes her head. “Better you burn it down.”

“What? No!”

“One time. Gone. Get the insurance money, Pig.” Her voice is pleading.

“What? No!”

“I got friends who can do that for you for one case of beer. You can even buy it after you collect the insurance money.”

“No, no, no! I got plans for this house, Girly. Big plans. I am going to build you a suite at the back –”

“Sweet? I don’t want no sweets. I got hole in my teeth and –”

“Not that kind of sweet, I’m talking…
suite
.”

Her fists remains glued to her chest.

“Bachelor pad.”

Silence.

“Teenage pad.”

Silence.

“Granny flat.”

She cocks her head. “
Granny
flat?” Her hands unclench a little.

I nod and speak fast. “With your own bathroom, your own lounge, your own little kitchen, and a patio, so you can enjoy your cigars in peace, have lots of privacy, away from the kids.”

“Away from Gareth?”

I nod. “Away from him and…you can have your friends over in peace, without worrying about me being around, and…and you can serve all the Ramen noodles you want. And you can talk in your crazy language without worrying about me or the kids being around, because I will install a gate to keep us out. Howzat?”

Her hand falls to her sides, her shoulders drop from around her neck, her mouth opens slightly and her eyes start to glaze. “Gate?”

I nod. “Security gate.”

“Big lock Gareth can’t open?”

“Yeah. You will be able to lock the gate and keep out the li’l pests.”

“Aaaaaahhhhh!” Her head bobs. “Big lock…I like that, Pig. Big lock.”

“Thought you would.”

I look at Liefie and Vlad. Both their eyes shine with mirth.

“So, Pig, you want me to stay with you forever?” Girly asks.

I shrug. “Yeah. If you want to, Girly. But I’d like you to have a place you can call your own.”

Her bottom lip starts trembling.

“Aw, c’mon, Girly, don’t start that.”

She sniffs hard. “What if I meet a nice Australian man with lots of money and a big house?”

“Wha…?”

“On Match.com? I got profile there.”

“What?
You
have a profile on Match.com?”
I
have a profile on Match.com that I put up some time ago and have forgotten all about it.

“Yeah. Got three hundred and twenty-three hits already.”

My eyes grow huge. “Three hundred and twenty-three!”

I myself had a mere three hits from Match.com. One from a sixty-year-old, one from a transgender, and one from a girl in China in need of a green card. Mental note to self – delete your profile on Match.com, pronto!

Girly quickly whips out her phone and flashes it at me. “See? My profile.”

I peer at the screen. “But…that…that’s not you, Girly.”

“That is me.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Thirty-five years ago, that’s me.”

“But…but…but Girly…well, never mind. Okay, if you find a man, that’s okay.” Chances are she’s never going to find a man with that kind of deception. 

“Pig! Pig! We found a dead body,” Becky yells.

“What?
Oh crap!
Where?”

“Outside.” She points to the neglected garden.

Through the window, I see a mound of soil. My heart lurches. “That’s probably a…a flower bed,” I say in a calm voice, not wanting to scare my precious little girls. “Or a large ant heap. Or a…”
Shit! Please don’t let that be a dead body.
In my mind I already see a couple of white forensic vans lined up outside this house, yellow tape surrounding it, cadaver dogs sniffing in my garden, the place crawling with men and women in white jumpsuits carrying cameras and shovels. My kids will be too spooked to live here after that.

“Cool, if it is,” Ally says. “I can do show and tell at school.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Awesome!” Becky says. “I wanna take pictures and show my friends.”

They’re not scared? My fragile little girls aren’t scared of the dead. Sweet. 

“I can show
my
friends too,” Girly says as she runs off with the girls to take a look. I look at Liefie and Vlad.

“It’s just you that’s spooked then,” Liefie says with a chuckle.

“Yeah.” I sigh and look up at the ceiling. “Ghost, you better not fuck with me. I can’t afford to move again, okay? Just stay outside, show yourself between the hours of midnight and 6 a.m., and we can live symbiotically, okay?”

Vlad and Liefie laugh.

“I gotta sell my house,” I mumble. “Rival’s gonna have to help me with that.”

“Talking about Rival,” Liefie says, “is there something going on between you two?”

My neck swivels to look at her, before they dart to look at Vlad. He moves slightly behind Liefie and shakes his head from side to side.
Don’t look at me, I didn’t tell her.

Liefie folds her arms across her chest and cocks her head at me. “Is there something going on between you and your
friend’s
wife?”

“No!” The lie emits like a burp. “No, no, no, no!” I dare not even look at Vlad as I lie.

She nods, and I think I see relief in her eyes. 

“And it’s my friend’s
ex
-wife, FYI.”

“Mm.” She looks away and out the window.

“He’s remarried, remember?”

Her head turns to look at me. “A bit defensive, aren’t you?” 

A bit nosey aren’t you? 

“Hey, we have to extend this kitchen for sure,” Vlad says, changing the subject. “And that guest bathroom…” he walks toward it, forcing us to follow. “You’re going to need a skylight there, Ritchie.”
 

Saved.

RIVAL

“But, Ritchie, what if Liefie sees us?”

“They’re going to the movies, Rival,” he says, grabbing my hand and almost dragging me into his Jeep.  

“You sure?”

“Yeah, and if she’s there, I’ll turn around. Promise.” He natters away as he drives toward the house he can’t stop talking about. As he pulls into the cul-de-sac, I slink low in my seat, just in case.

“Her Ford’s not here, so they’re definitely gone.” He glances at me. “Relax, Rival.”

I sit up and peer at the house in question. A double-story monstrosity in dire need of a facelift. 

“Whachu think? Huh?”

“Wow! It’s huge, Ritchie.”

“Yeah? You like it? Really?”

“Oh, yeah. Such potential. I mean, it’s not that old. Just neglected, that’s all.”

He pulls out a clipboard and a pencil. “Glad
you
think so.”

“Oh, I think so.”

“I’ll have to sell my house pronto. And I have to ensure I get a good price for it to offset my spend here. This is gonna break the bank for sure.” He jumps out of the Jeep, runs around to my side and opens the door for me.

“Oh, I can help you get a good price for your house,” I say as we hold hands and race up to the house like two excited kids running to our cubby house.

“It’s great, Ritchie,” I say poking my head into the rooms.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“I don’t think you’ll have a problem – oh, nice backyard.” I force open the sticky patio doors and step outside.

“And the best part is,” Ritchie says, following me outside, “see this vacant plot here?”

“Yeah…”

“I have leased it from council.”

“Seriously? For how long?”

“Ninety-nine years at a cost of two thousand dollars a year.”

“Wow!”

“But…they can withdraw the property from me after ten years. Six months’ notice for me to restore it to its original form. I cannot erect a
dwelling
on it, but other than that…” He shrugs.

“Ten years?”

He nods. “I want to build a pool, an entertainment area, a kind of walk-way between Liefie’s house and mine.”

“Sort of communal living.”

He nods. “The kids will then have complete access to both parents twenty-four-seven. Howzat?”

I smile. “A village of MacMillans co-existing. Nice.”

He nods. “If council
does
withdraw the property after ten years, my kids will be old enough by then. But right now, it’s what they need – to be next door to their mother.”