Depravicus (11 page)

"Ah," he
smiled, finding the horny waitress standing on the step. "Please,
come in. I'm so glad you could make it."

"Thank you,"
she said, stepping into the hall. "You didn't pay for the tea and
cream cakes."

"Didn't I? Oh,
well..."

"I'll let you
off this time. I didn't tell you my name. I'm Lana."

"My friends
call me Will. I have no idea why, but not to worry. Er... Please,
come through to the bar."

"You have a
bar?" she frowned, tossing her long black locks over her naked
shoulder.

"Indeed, I
do," Will grinned. And a cock in dire need of her hot wet mouth.
"This is my opening night."

"I've never
heard of a priest having a bar in his house."

"Neither have
I," Will chuckled, leading her into the bar. "I'm somewhat
unorthodox when it comes to the priesthood, or anything else for
that matter. I do like your short skirt. Red is my favourite
colour."

"Mine, too,"
she smiled.

Red panties?
"What would you like to drink?"

"Can we have
some service here, old man?" the Major asked. "Oh, and who is this
delightful little beauty?" he grinned, his waxed moustache
twitching as he eyed the girls nipples pressing through the cotton
of her tight T-shirt.

"I'm Lana,"
the girl replied.

"And she's
mine," Will broke in. "I mean, she's my guest. Lana, what would you
like?"

"Vodka and
tonic, please."

"One vodka and
tonic coming up. And another large scotch for you, Major?"

"Damned right,
old man. So, Lana, what brings you to this den of iniquity?"

"Father Will
invited me."

"Did he now?
You'll have to allow me to show you around the garden."

"She doesn't
want to see the garden," Will whispered through gritted teeth,
placing the drinks on the bar and glaring at the Major. "Besides,
the garden is out of bounds to the customers."

"I quite like
gardening," Lana said, sipping her vodka.

"I'll show you
the garden later," Will smiled, eyeing the girl's deep cleavage.
"Major, why don't you go and talk to someone else?"

"I'd rather
talk to this little beauty, if it's all the same to you. I haven't
seen you around the village before, Lana. Have you been here
long?"

"Only a week
or so, Major. I've just got a job in the tea shop. That's where I
met Father Will."

"I'll have to
call into the tea shop," the Major chortled. "There's nothing I
like more than a pretty little waitress with huge..."

"Lana, may I
have a word?" Will broke in, walking to the end of the bar.

"Of course,"
she replied, leaving the Major and joining Will.

"I'm looking
for bar staff. I know you have your job at the tea shop, but I need
someone to run the bar during the evenings."

"I'd like that
very much," she smiled. "I've done bar work before."

"In that case,
would you like to start now?"

"Yes," she
grinned, joining Will behind the bar. "I've been wondering what to
do with myself during the evenings."

He could
suggest a thing or two. "We'll talk about money later. Work this
evening and see how you feel about it."

"Nothing's
priced," she said, gazing at the optics.

"Just make it
up as you go along. In an hour or so they'll all be so pissed
you'll be able to charge what the hell you like. I'll leave you to
it, then."

"Right," she
beamed, looking about and familiarizing herself with the
layout.

Another minor
problem, Will mused. Not only would Josie discover that her
once-beautiful dining room was now a pub, but there was a horny
teenager serving behind the bar. The front doorbell ringing, he
shook his head. Nothing was easy, he reflected, walking through the
hall. Opening the door, he couldn't believe his luck. Sister
Crotchly was standing on the step, her tight habit hugging her firm
breasts, her pretty face framed by her wimple. A suitcase by her
feet, he wondered whether she was leaving Cumsdale.

"Come in,"
Will invited her, recalling the girl taking advantage of his when
he'd feigned unconsciousness.

"I'm in big
fucking trouble," she sighed, following Will into the lounge and
dumping her case on the floor. "The Reverend fucking Mother... She
caught me doing something dreadful."

"Oh?" Will
frowned.

"When I was
here and you passed out... Well, I... Your cassock was up and
I..."

"And the
Reverend Mother got the wrong idea?"

"Yes, she
did."

"When I came
to, she was standing over me going on about my despicable
behaviour. I had no idea what she was talking about. But, now that
you've explained what happened, I can see why she was so
annoyed."

"She's written
to my fucking stepfather telling him what a dreadful bitch of a
girl I am. I didn't fucking do anything, Will. Your cassock was up
and..."

"Worry not, my
child," Will said, placing his arm around her. "I shall explain
things to your stepfather. After all, I'm a priest. I'm sure he'll
understand that, being a man of God, I'm honest, trustworthy,
dependable, reliable..."

"I fucking
doubt it."

"Perhaps
you're right."

"I was
wondering whether I could stay here for a few days."

"But, of
course. Take your case upstairs to the front bedroom."

"I'll change
and then come down. Who's that laughing?" she asked as the Major's
chuckles resounded throughout the house.

"I have a bar
in the back room. When you've changed, come and join us."

As the girl
lugged her case upstairs Will again pondered Josie. What with Lana
working behind the bar and now Lolita moving in, there was going to
be a bloody great woman scorned-type explosion. The phone ringing
again, he went into the kitchen and closed the door. "Now what," he
murmured, grabbing the receiver.

"You've
abducted one of my nuns," the Reverend Mother hissed.

"What the fuck
are you talking about?" Will asked.

"Don't you use
foul language like that."

"I'll use
whatever cunting language I fucking like."

"My God,
you're vulgar. You have abducted Sister Crotchly"

"I've done
nothing of the sort, you hairy slime-ball."

"Right, that
does it. I shall bring a police officer with me to search your
house. If the girl's there, and I'm sure she is, you're going to be
in deep shit."

"Blimey, talk
about my foul language."

"The Bishop
will also be accompanying me. This is the end, Entercock. Your
demise is imminent."

Fuck it, Will
thought as the slag hung up. If the police discovered the bar there
was going to be real trouble. "Fuck it," he cursed under his breath
as laughter emanated from the bar. Wondering why everyone was out
to get him, he grabbed a can of lager from the fridge. He was going
to have to think of something, and fast. There was nothing illegal
about a girl living with him, he reflected, swigging from the
can.

Hiding in the
bushes a hundred yards or so down the lane from his house, Will
formulated his plan. The Reverend Slagger would come waddling along
at any minute, he knew as he peered out of the bushes. He'd waylay
her and her gang, tell the police officer that there had been a
burglary at Father Kosher's church. The man would have to
investigate, which would keep him busy for a while. A diversion,
Will mused, wondering whether to set fire to the convent. All those
cunny-stained knickers up in smoke? A criminal waste.

"Ah, there you
are," he cried, leaping out of the bushes as the Reverend Mother
approached with PC Bridlington and the Bishop. "There's been a
severe burglary at Father Kosher's church, Constable. You'd better
get there as soon as you can if not sooner."

"You're
lying," the Bishop returned angrily, his pimpled nose
twitching.

"Of course I'm
not lying. Good grief, I'm an ex-reverend."

"Exactly."

"There are
robbers in the very act of robbing as we speak"

"I'd better
check it out," the constable said, turning his bike around and
cycling at full speed down the lane.

"You needn't
think that you're going to get away with this," the Reverend Mother
scowled. "I know you've abducted one of my nuns."

"I haven't
abducted anyone," Will returned irately. "Sister Crotchly rang me
from the convent just now. How on earth can she be an abductee when
she's at the convent?"

"She couldn't
have phoned you," the Reverend Mother said, suspicion reflected in
her beady eyes. "There's no way..."

"That's a
point," the Bishop frowned, rubbing his chin. "She left with her
bag..."

"Shut up," the
Reverend Mother hissed, kicking the man's shin.

"I don't know
what's going on," Will sighed, deciding to thrash the arse off the
lying girl the minute he got home. And shave her vulval flesh and
spunk her mouth and cock-fuck her hot anal duct and spunk her
bowels and... "I think you'd better go and talk to the girl. She
rang me and said something about a devious plan."

"A devious
plan?" the Reverend Mother frowned.

"She said
something about a devious plan involving her leaving with her
suitcase and..."

"Er... Yes,
we'll go back to the convent," the Bishop murmured. "There's
obviously been a mistake."

Returning to
his house as the cunning pair walked down the lane, Will rushed
upstairs to find Lolita's naked body sprawled across his bed. It
was hard to believe that she was part of a devious plan to bring
about his downfall, he mused, eyeing the violin curves of her
beautiful body. She'd seemed so anti the Reverend Mother, so
genuine in her hatred for the cow bag woman. To think that she'd
agreed to trap him like this was incredible. Deciding not to let on
that he knew of her wicked trickery, he sat on the edge of the
bed.

"I thought you
were coming to join us in the bar," he smiled, running his fingers
up and down the smooth flesh of her lickable inner thigh.

"I was about
to," she replied, stretching her limbs and parting her legs
slightly. "I thought I'd relax for a while first."

"I'm an
extremely observant man, Lolita. As I came in, I couldn't help but
notice that you're naked. Completely naked in your complete
nakedness."

"Yes, I was...
I was fucking hot."

She was very
hot. "Talking of heat, there's been a fire at the convent," he
enlightened her, moving to the window.

"A fire?" she
gasped, her firm breasts bouncing as she sat up. "Fuck me."

He intended
to. "There's no need to worry, the fire's under control."

"I'd better
get back and..."

"There's no
need for you to go back, Lolita. You can stay here for as long as
you like. After all, that is what you wanted."

"Yes,
but..."

"Oh, here
comes the Reverend Mother," he said, moving the net curtain aside.
"And there's a police officer with her."

"Really?" the
girl grinned, reclining on the bed with her legs spread wide.

"They can't be
coming here," he said, taking something from the bedside cabinet.
"Perhaps they're talking a walk into the village to do a little
window shopping while the fire's being dealt with."

"Why don't you
take your cassock off and come and join me?" she breathed huskily,
running her hands over the firm hillocks of her petite breasts.

"Now that is a
good idea," Will smiled. "But I have a better idea. Are you into
bondage?"

"Oh yes," she
beamed excitedly, gazing at two pairs of handcuffs dangling from
Will's hand.

"What a
coincidence. Bondage happens to be my forte."

Cuffing the
girl's wrists to the brass bedstead, he parted her feet and cuffed
her ankles to the posts at the bottom of the bed. Eyeing her cunny
he felt his penis twitch and stiffen beneath his cassock. This was
exactly what the wicked girl had wanted, he knew as her wide eyes
darted between him and the closed door. She was expecting the
Reverend Mother to burst in with the long arm of the law, and the
pimple-nosed fucker of a Bishop. They'd discover her plight and
Will would end up well and truly fucked. But the girl was about to
discover that she was very much alone in her plight. No one was
going to save her.

With Lana
running the bar, Will had more than enough time to administer
Lolita's punishment, the scourging of her biteable buttocks. The
Reverend Slagger and the toss-pot Bishop would be searching the
convent for the missing nun, PC Bridlington would be searching
Kosher's church for a band of desecration-minded robbers, and
Lolita... Lolita was going to be sexually tortured for her
wickedness. Again eyeing the girl's yawning vaginal slit, the dark
curls of her pubes sprouting from her teenage mons, he let out a
wicked chuckle as he walked across the room.

Taking Josie's
can of depilating cream from the dressing table, Will squirted the
contents over Lolita's vulval flesh. Protesting wildly, she
struggled and writhed, pulling on her bonds as he massaged the
cooling cream into the black curls of her pubic hair. Ignoring her
cries, her vile expletives, he took a pair of steel nipple clamps
from the bedside table and perched on the edge of the bed. She had
fine tits, he observed, kneading each in turn as the girl again
hissed expletives at him. Placing a clamp over her left nipple,
wondering what her problem was as she spat at him, he slowly
tightened the screw.

"No," she
gasped, her brown bud painfully swelling as he pinched the clamp
around her areola. "I don't want my fucking pubes removed or
my..."

"It's all
right," Will chuckled. "The Reverend Mother will be here any minute
now to save you from your terrible fate."