Demons: A Hunter's Novel, Book 1 (2 page)

We
had done everything together. When we were old enough everyone razzed Cade for
not “getting with” Anie or I. There had just never been that sort of an
attraction between any of us. Anie and I spent a lot of time with Cade at his
house with his parents. It was easier than having to deal with the asshole that
was my Father. Anie never wanted to go against my Father and I always did. We
met in the middle at times like that and hung at Cade’s with his family instead
of dealing with the contention that dealing with my Father always birthed.

Cade
being the ambitious person he was had moved quickly up the ranks of the Hunters
and now sat as the youngest of the council members. He was also best buds with the
“loose cannon, who also happens to be one of the best Hunters”, that would be
me. Cade had read aloud to me that part of my file, the profiles that the Hunters
kept on each one of us. It was supposed to support his stance that leaving
him
,
my Demon, would be the right choice. I was kept because I was good, not because
I was stable.

Case
in point, my love affair with a Demon. It had been buzzed about for as long as
it had gone on: 3 years, 3 months, 3 hours. That’s why, I’m assuming, he had paid
me back in kind with the 6,6,6 joke. I was trying to make a firm statement. He
was being a dick.

I
made sure my Demon knew where I stood. What I was choosing. At least, I tried. I
cut all ties with him. It’s the only way I could do it. I’m an all or nothing
kind of girl.

I
chose what I knew over the Demon I loved. And what I knew is that if either
side found out about us we would both be strung up and killed. My Father did
not tolerate such relationships and the Demons definitely didn’t.

When
we had been together I justified it, saying he did good work, and he did. I
loved him in spite of his flaws and because of them. But in the end, I had
fallen so far in with him that I couldn’t justify losing him completely, to
never have the
chance
of seeing him, touching him, loving him
…I couldn’t lose him permanently. I just couldn’t.

Some
people go through life knowing they are loved. Love had never been one of those
things handed to me in life. I had worked very hard over the years for my Father’s
and the Hunters’ love and only receiving it if I performed exceptionally well.

The
only time I had ever received love unconditionally was with my Demon. Since I
had never received love like that, it took me an extra long time to realize
what it was. What the ache in my chest meant every time he left the house. What
it meant that every time he got hurt on the job I wanted to rip apart whatever
had touched him. Rationally, I knew he’d be fine, but I just couldn’t let
things like that go. I had lost it once and actually torn a Demon apart because
he had hurt what was
mine
.

I
knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I saw him right now, my emotions and
everything I had bottled up and stuffed down would pour over every nerve ending
in my body. I would crumble. Learning to stand again would be a long and trying
process. I would need an electric scooter to function in my own life, just to
move around the tiny pieces left behind.

As
all of these feelings and thoughts fled through me, my feet tried to carry me farther
away from this place. I was running like a bat out of hell. Which, I think, I
technically was. I didn’t look back, knowing that would only slow me down. I
just hoped beyond hope the strong Demon behind me couldn’t teleport or as the
Demons called it
clarity bend
.

It
was exactly what it sounded like. A Demon that took you on a clarity bend could
make you think you were trapped in a corner while standing in an open field. Those
Demons could also take you from one place to another with simply a touch of
their hand. I liked to call them mind-fuck Demons.

I
darted down an alleyway a few buildings away and hit a wall, a wall of heavy
steely muscle. A wall I had been under and on top of enough times to know by
touch, by feel, by taste, by smell. I jumped back, making sure to keep my eyes
on the ground. I scrambled away quickly. I could see the toes of his shiny, patent
leather black shoes.

Too
close, he was too close. Without touching me he had me backed into the corner
of the alley, where two brick walls met. I was breathing heavily and I could
feel a tightness in my chest. My heart was going to give up and break apart
again.

“Look
at me Delaney.” The deep command was so familiar, yet so cold. I almost didn’t
recognize it. Almost. I fought the urge to look up into his eyes, but quickly
lost. My eyes met his without my permission. When they did I could feel myself
coming back to life and dying all over again in the space of a breath. His name
slid over my tongue and between my lips like a lover’s caress, and completely
out of my control.

“Azrael.”
My Demon. My heart.

“You can doubt, you can hate, but I know no matter what it takes, I’m
coming home, I’m coming home…”

– Skylar Grey, Coming Home

Azrael’s
eyes were hard and cold, something unfamiliar to me. It was an overtaking
feeling that twisted in the same place that had been filled with a familiar
darkness for the past six months, giving me pain where there had been nothing.

He
gripped my upper arms. Oh God, please let him stop touching me. Instantly, I’m
melting. Instantly, I’m burning. The way he used to make me feel was flooding
back and I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t do this again, couldn’t walk away
again.

“Good
of you to join me, Delaney.” I had forgotten how weak his eyes could make me. He
looked even better since I had last seen him. A little more cut where he had
been soft before. I guess it was only fair. More torture for me.

My
Demon was sex on a stick and I wanted to lick every piece of him. He had black
hair, a light complexion and severe hard-lined features with the lightest green
eyes I had ever seen. They were like looking at grass, sunlight shining on it,
right after it’s rained. Dark features were common amongst Demons, I had never
seen another with eyes like his. They set me on fire and melted me.

“Az.
Lookin’ good. I mean it hasn’t been that long – but you know. Good because you
don’t look like crap.” Shit. I had word vomit and I couldn’t stop it. I did it
whenever I was nervous. It was a fatal affliction in some instances. I saw his
eyes warm slightly as he placed his hand over my mouth to stop the words
spewing involuntarily out of it, no doubt.

“Don’t
call me that, Delaney. You no longer have the privilege.”

I
noticed he hadn’t called me by my nickname, Laney, the name he knew I preferred.
Everything he did was deliberate. He hadn’t gotten over what happened. Good to
know I wasn’t the only one.

From
the first time I had met him, and almost killed him, I had always called him
Az. The first time we met he had talked me into giving him a chance. He told me
he was an enforcer amongst Demons and there was only one of him every one
hundred years or so. I had let him live. We worked as a team of sorts.

Initially
I kept an eye on him because I had questioned my sanity in not killing him, but
I soon discovered that if I had, Demons would’ve run amuck. After a few months
of him towing the line, we began a tentative friendship. We would call the
other when we needed back-up. That quickly turned into meeting every night and
working as partners.

One
early morning, after a long night of killing and maiming, he dropped me off at
the door of my house, as he normally did. I’ll never forget the way he looked
at me that night. It was an intense mixture of pain and pleasure, with a “fuck
it” on his lips before he assaulted all my senses with a kiss that changed my
world forever.

But
everything was different now and I knew that better than anyone. I had been
running from the truth of it for six months. Me calling him Az was a
familiarity he didn’t want between us anymore and I couldn’t blame him for that.

In
my six month absence he had climbed the Demon ladder faster than any other
before him. I had heard of his unrelenting ruthlessness and madness from the
occasional Hunter that crossed my path. I didn’t want to believe it. I guess
you could only hide from the truth for so long before it caught up to you.

“Take
me inside before someone sees us.” I whispered.

“That’s
what you’d be afraid of. Your precious Hunters seeing us.”

“This
is my life, Az. Don’t fuck it up.” Damn I did it again. In my head I started
chanting
Az-rael, Az-rael
…

“I
thought your life was filled with fucking strangers, not being a Hunter.”

It
hurt so much more than I knew it would. He had seen the men I had used to numb
myself from the pain of losing him. It had never crossed my mind that he may
have been watching me – I mean, why would he? Why torture himself?

I
had to work on calling him Azrael. We had been on the same side for so long. It
was easy to fall back into line with him. Yes, he was a Demon but he had been
good when we were together. He was charged with killing any Demon that broke
the rules, and in the end, he took out anything that broke the rules on any
side. We shared that common ground.

After
I left him he had gone off the deep end just as I had gone off the radar. He
had become one of the nastiest of all Demons. And because of that my heart had
broken further. I didn’t even know if my heart was still there – pieces of it
were, maybe.

It
is said there is a thin line between love and hate. I had a foot on both sides.
I wanted to throw my arms around him and break his face at the same time. But
as much as I was conflicted, I trusted him above all others. Because when it
came to me I knew where he stood. He was on my side. Unless something changed
to completely turn him against me. As I would think seeing me with other men
would’ve done. Why was I here with him now? Why would he bring me back to him?
Why was I still alive? I would’ve lost it.

His
hand dropped to my wrist and I felt the pull of the teleport. A second later, I
blinked the tunneled gray from my vision. We were in a window laden office at
least 15 stories up. It was a fabulous view of the city. I loved Miami, Florida
and so did the supes, especially Demons. Heat and sin everywhere, what’s not to
love?

 In
the office, there was a large glass desk with a stiff-looking black chair
behind it. It spoke of the coldness that had seeped into Az. Six months ago he
would have had a dark wood desk with a comfy cushiony chair that looked like it
probably needed reupholstering because it was so old, but it would be the most
comfortable chair around.
I need a place to rest my ass where it won’t fall
asleep.
He’d say.

This
office spoke of coldness and superiority. Things that Az wouldn’t have had six
months ago, but now Azrael owned them. Maybe I didn’t know him anymore. Something
told me that my Az was still somewhere in Azrael, I just couldn’t see where.

“The
building’s glamoured?” I asked him.

The
crap-hole I had seen was actually a gorgeous high rise that had been hidden by Demon
magic so no one could see it. I really was numb. Perhaps too numb, I now
realized. I should’ve been able to feel this. I had done a damn thorough job of
blocking out the world.

“Of
course. Couldn’t have anyone finding this place.”

The
unspoken
or you
hurt. He had put me back with “them” and I won’t lie, it
stung. The Hunters. The enemy he had fought, in one way or another, for the length
of his existence. That’s how he saw me. But he was him and I was me and we were
us. Right? I guess the new us was kicking me in the ass and I deserved every
bit of it.

“Fair
enough.”

Azrael’s
eyes sparkled for a moment and he turned to look out the window with his back
to me to keep me from seeing the sparkle. I wondered what that look had turned
into. Did he hate me now, as much as he had loved me then?

“Why
am I here Azrael?” I pulled out his full name to make sure he didn’t miss the
fact that I had used it.

“I’ve
kept an eye on you, even if I loathed it at times.” Azrael looked at me over
his shoulder. He looked livid and he made sure I didn’t miss it. I hated he had
seen me with all the other men. He had always been a control freak to the core.
He attempted to control everything that came at us, even though he couldn’t.
Something I loved between the sheets but hated everywhere else.

“The
Hunters are, of course, following you still. But the supes are too. Including
some of mine.” He couldn’t have surprised me more if he had told me he had a
sex change. What. The. Fuck.

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“Do
you know why?” My mind was racing with the possibilities. Why would everyone
and their brother be following me? And why follow me and not kill me?

“After
I tortured the Demons who were following you…” He let the statement hang there.
He was making it clear he had changed.

When
we had been together, he had been merciful, he killed quickly without pain. Now
he was torturing others, surrounding himself with pain. He didn’t need to say anything
more to make it clear to me how far apart we were now. Not even miles, but
worlds away. “They told me orders were coming from our highest. So I killed
them. With your blade, naturally.”

I
had forgotten I left him one of my blades so he would always be safe. I knew he
could take care of himself without my blade, but he had taken over every part
of me and I guess I was a little afraid he wouldn’t remember me after a while. And
I wanted him to. I couldn’t be with him, but that didn’t mean I didn’t still
love him. I wondered how often he had used the blade for his torture sessions
and if he was the one who had been helping keep me as one of the most valued
Hunters. He was still protecting me, even after all I had done. I was sucking
more by the minute, and not in a good way.

“Naturally.”

What
was happening to me? I sat down on the floor with the weight of this new burden
on my shoulders. My body just couldn’t take anymore. I felt Az beside me.

“Laney…”

I
looked up at the worried expression on his face. I was in some serious shit. It
was the only reason he would have to bring me back into his life. I had only
seen him with this expression a few times – and seeing it worried me now, more
than ever.

He
looked conflicted. He slid gracefully to the floor, pulling his legs under him
to sit Indian style. Watching him sit, I had flashes of the times he would lay
on me after we were done having sex. I reveled in feeling the weight of his
body on me. What I wouldn’t do to feel that again.

When
we were together he always made a point of making me feel equal and accepted. I
felt equal but I knew he would not accept me, not anymore. I also knew,
however, that Az was extending a branch to me. I just hoped it didn’t snap. I
didn’t trust myself much these days.

“You
remember when we used to stake out places and you’d insist on local food?” He
said, putting air quotes around the word local.

To
Az, local meant the same city. To me, it meant whatever was on the street you
were walking down.

 “It
was some of the worst food I’ve ever experienced. But some of the most
memorable times.”

I
could tell from the distance in his voice he was reliving the many times we had
eaten the horrible food on the street, in cars, wherever we were, but always
together. They were some of the best times of my life. And I was loathe to
remember them.

“I
would imagine several bouts of food poisoning, even for a Demon, would be
memorable.”

I
could never stand serious very well. I wanted to lighten the mood he was moving
toward. I laughed in spite of my overwhelming fear. I always told Az it was the
“best food I’ve ever eaten” even if I was too sick to leave the bathroom later
on. He laughed too.

The
second I heard his laugh my walls crumbled and my numbness was replaced with a spreading
warmth and a slash of pain. There was something about him that spoke to my
deepest darkest places and it was blatantly apparent how much I had missed
that.

I
reached out, forgetting the distance between us and touched the edge of his
jaw. The second my skin came into contact with his, he flinched away from me as
though I had stuck a hot poker to him, not my hand. Maybe I was his emotional
cancer.

He
moved his face back into my hand a moment later. And it felt like coming home. He
looked into my eyes searching for something he probably wouldn’t find. I
couldn’t stop the next words that flew from my lips and didn’t know if they
would help heal anything or if I’d be opening up old wounds for him. My wounds
had never closed.

“I’m
sorry Az. I’m – I’m sorry.”

It’s
all I could get out because I was choking on my tears. My love had been broken
and I had buried all of those feelings, but now they were rushing back like a
wave on Normandy Beach, beating and drowning me. I had a feeling I was about to
lose a lot more than just my heart.

If
supes were following me for some unknown reason, something big was about to
happen. Talk about opening flood gates. I cried harder. Everything was just too
much. My emotional state was like a gas fire – burning out of control. Azrael,
Az, I didn’t want him to be hurt by whatever was going on with me. I wanted him
to be safe. At least as safe as a Higher Demon could be. I stood abruptly, Az
right along with me.

“Laney,
you can’t protect me. I’ve made my bed, I will happily lay in it.”

I
wondered if he was a mind reader now. I didn’t miss the heat in his eyes or the
double meaning in his words. My body heated as if he had just touched my core. But
I could only imagine the horror that would rain down if his boss found out
about us or anything he had done for me.

“Az,
this isn’t just about you.” I tried to play it off. But it had always been
about him, always would be.