Delphi Complete Works of the Brontes Charlotte, Emily, Anne Brontë (Illustrated) (329 page)

CHAPTER X — THE CHURCH

‘Well, Miss Grey, what do you think of the new curate?’ asked Miss Murray, on our return from church the Sunday after the recommencement of our duties.

‘I can scarcely tell,’ was my reply: ‘I have not even heard him preach.’

‘Well, but you saw him, didn’t you?’

‘Yes, but I cannot pretend to judge of a man’s character by a single cursory glance at his face.’

‘But isn’t he ugly?’

‘He did not strike me as being particularly so; I don’t dislike that cast of countenance: but the only thing I particularly noticed about him was his style of reading; which appeared to me good — infinitely better, at least, than Mr. Hatfield’s.  He read the Lessons as if he were bent on giving full effect to every passage; it seemed as if the most careless person could not have helped attending, nor the most ignorant have failed to understand; and the prayers he read as if he were not reading at all, but praying earnestly and sincerely from his own heart.’

‘Oh, yes, that’s all he is good for: he can plod through the service well enough; but he has not a single idea beyond it.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Oh! I know perfectly well; I am an excellent judge in such matters.  Did you see how he went out of church? stumping along — as if there were nobody there but himself — never looking to the right hand or the left, and evidently thinking of nothing but just getting out of the church, and, perhaps, home to his dinner: his great stupid head could contain no other idea.’

‘I suppose you would have had him cast a glance into the squire’s pew,’ said I, laughing at the vehemence of her hostility.

‘Indeed! I should have been highly indignant if he had dared to do such a thing!’ replied she, haughtily tossing her head; then, after a moment’s reflection, she added — ‘Well, well!  I suppose he’s good enough for his place: but I’m glad I’m not dependent on
him
for amusement — that’s all.  Did you see how Mr. Hatfield hurried out to get a bow from me, and be in time to put us into the carriage?’

‘Yes,’ answered I; internally adding, ‘and I thought it somewhat derogatory to his dignity as a clergyman to come flying from the pulpit in such eager haste to shake hands with the squire, and hand his wife and daughters into their carriage: and, moreover, I owe him a grudge for nearly shutting me out of it’; for, in fact, though I was standing before his face, close beside the carriage steps, waiting to get in, he would persist in putting them up and closing the door, till one of the family stopped him by calling out that the governess was not in yet; then, without a word of apology, he departed, wishing them good-morning, and leaving the footman to finish the business.

Nota bene
. — Mr. Hatfield never spoke to me, neither did Sir Hugh or Lady Meltham, nor Mr. Harry or Miss Meltham, nor Mr. Green or his sisters, nor any other lady or gentleman who frequented that church: nor, in fact, any one that visited at Horton Lodge.

Miss Murray ordered the carriage again, in the afternoon, for herself and her sister: she said it was too cold for them to enjoy themselves in the garden; and besides, she believed Harry Meltham would be at church.  ‘For,’ said she, smiling slyly at her own fair image in the glass, ‘he has been a most exemplary attendant at church these last few Sundays: you would think he was quite a good Christian.  And you may go with us, Miss Grey: I want you to see him; he is so greatly improved since he returned from abroad — you can’t think!  And besides, then you will have an opportunity of seeing the beautiful Mr. Weston again, and of hearing him preach.’

I did hear him preach, and was decidedly pleased with the evangelical truth of his doctrine, as well as the earnest simplicity of his manner, and the clearness and force of his style.  It was truly refreshing to hear such a sermon, after being so long accustomed to the dry, prosy discourses of the former curate, and the still less edifying harangues of the rector.  Mr. Hatfield would come sailing up the aisle, or rather sweeping along like a whirlwind, with his rich silk gown flying behind him and rustling against the pew doors, mount the pulpit like a conqueror ascending his triumphal car; then, sinking on the velvet cushion in an attitude of studied grace, remain in silent prostration for a certain time; then mutter over a Collect, and gabble through the Lord’s Prayer, rise, draw off one bright lavender glove, to give the congregation the benefit of his sparkling rings, lightly pass his fingers through his well-curled hair, flourish a cambric handkerchief, recite a very short passage, or, perhaps, a mere phrase of Scripture, as a head-piece to his discourse, and, finally, deliver a composition which, as a composition, might be considered good, though far too studied and too artificial to be pleasing to me: the propositions were well laid down, the arguments logically conducted; and yet, it was sometimes hard to listen quietly throughout, without some slight demonstrations of disapproval or impatience.

His favourite subjects were church discipline, rites and ceremonies, apostolical succession, the duty of reverence and obedience to the clergy, the atrocious criminality of dissent, the absolute necessity of observing all the forms of godliness, the reprehensible presumption of individuals who attempted to think for themselves in matters connected with religion, or to be guided by their own interpretations of Scripture, and, occasionally (to please his wealthy parishioners) the necessity of deferential obedience from the poor to the rich — supporting his maxims and exhortations throughout with quotations from the Fathers: with whom he appeared to be far better acquainted than with the Apostles and Evangelists, and whose importance he seemed to consider at least equal to theirs.  But now and then he gave us a sermon of a different order — what some would call a very good one; but sunless and severe: representing the Deity as a terrible taskmaster rather than a benevolent father.  Yet, as I listened, I felt inclined to think the man was sincere in all he said: he must have changed his views, and become decidedly religious, gloomy and austere, yet still devout.  But such illusions were usually dissipated, on coming out of church, by hearing his voice in jocund colloquy with some of the Melthams or Greens, or, perhaps, the Murrays themselves; probably laughing at his own sermon, and hoping that he had given the rascally people something to think about; perchance, exulting in the thought that old Betty Holmes would now lay aside the sinful indulgence of her pipe, which had been her daily solace for upwards of thirty years: that George Higgins would be frightened out of his Sabbath evening walks, and Thomas Jackson would be sorely troubled in his conscience, and shaken in his sure and certain hope of a joyful resurrection at the last day.

Thus, I could not but conclude that Mr. Hatfield was one of those who ‘bind heavy burdens, and grievous to be borne, and lay them upon men’s shoulders, while they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers’; and who ‘make the word of God of none effect by their traditions, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.’  I was well pleased to observe that the new curate resembled him, as far as I could see, in none of these particulars.

‘Well, Miss Grey, what do you think of him now?’ said Miss Murray, as we took our places in the carriage after service.

‘No harm still,’ replied I.

‘No harm!’ repeated she in amazement.  ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, I think no worse of him than I did before.’

‘No worse!  I should think not indeed — quite the contrary!  Is he not greatly improved?’

‘Oh, yes; very much indeed,’ replied I; for I had now discovered that it was Harry Meltham she meant, not Mr. Weston.  That gentleman had eagerly come forward to speak to the young ladies: a thing he would hardly have ventured to do had their mother been present; he had likewise politely handed them into the carriage.  He had not attempted to shut me out, like Mr. Hatfield; neither, of course, had he offered me his assistance (I should not have accepted it, if he had), but as long as the door remained open he had stood smirking and chatting with them, and then lifted his hat and departed to his own abode: but I had scarcely noticed him all the time.  My companions, however, had been more observant; and, as we rolled along, they discussed between them not only his looks, words, and actions, but every feature of his face, and every article of his apparel.

‘You shan’t have him all to yourself, Rosalie,’ said Miss Matilda at the close of this discussion; ‘I like him: I know he’d make a nice, jolly companion for me.’

‘Well, you’re quite welcome to him, Matilda,’ replied her sister, in a tone of affected indifference.

‘And I’m sure,’ continued the other, ‘he admires me quite as much as he does you; doesn’t he, Miss Grey?’

‘I don’t know; I’m not acquainted with his sentiments.’

‘Well, but he
does
though.’

‘My
dear
Matilda! nobody will ever admire you till you get rid of your rough, awkward manners.’

‘Oh, stuff!  Harry Meltham likes such manners; and so do papa’s friends.’

‘Well, you
may
captivate old men, and younger sons; but nobody else, I am sure, will ever take a fancy to you.’

‘I don’t care: I’m not always grabbing after money, like you and mamma.  If my husband is able to keep a few good horses and dogs, I shall be quite satisfied; and all the rest may go to the devil!’

‘Well, if you use such shocking expressions, I’m sure no real gentleman will ever venture to come near you.  Really, Miss Grey, you should not let her do so.’

‘I can’t possibly prevent it, Miss Murray.’

‘And you’re quite mistaken, Matilda, in supposing that Harry Meltham admires you: I assure you he does nothing of the kind.’

Matilda was beginning an angry reply; but, happily, our journey was now at an end; and the contention was cut short by the footman opening the carriage-door, and letting down the steps for our descent.

CHAPTER XI — THE COTTAGERS

As I had now only one regular pupil — though she contrived to give me as much trouble as three or four ordinary ones, and though her sister still took lessons in German and drawing — I had considerably more time at my own disposal than I had ever been blessed with before, since I had taken upon me the governess’s yoke; which time I devoted partly to correspondence with my friends, partly to reading, study, and the practice of music, singing, &c., partly to wandering in the grounds or adjacent fields, with my pupils if they wanted me, alone if they did not.

Often, when they had no more agreeable occupation at hand, the Misses Murray would amuse themselves with visiting the poor cottagers on their father’s estate, to receive their flattering homage, or to hear the old stories or gossiping news of the garrulous old women; or, perhaps, to enjoy the purer pleasure of making the poor people happy with their cheering presence and their occasional gifts, so easily bestowed, so thankfully received.  Sometimes, I was called upon to accompany one or both of the sisters in these visits; and sometimes I was desired to go alone, to fulfil some promise which they had been more ready to make than to perform; to carry some small donation, or read to one who was sick or seriously disposed: and thus I made a few acquaintances among the cottagers; and, occasionally, I went to see them on my own account.

I generally had more satisfaction in going alone than with either of the young ladies; for they, chiefly owing to their defective education, comported themselves towards their inferiors in a manner that was highly disagreeable for me to witness.  They never, in thought, exchanged places with them; and, consequently, had no consideration for their feelings, regarding them as an order of beings entirely different from themselves.  They would watch the poor creatures at their meals, making uncivil remarks about their food, and their manner of eating; they would laugh at their simple notions and provincial expressions, till some of them scarcely durst venture to speak; they would call the grave elderly men and women old fools and silly old blockheads to their faces: and all this without meaning to offend.  I could see that the people were often hurt and annoyed by such conduct, though their fear of the ‘grand ladies’ prevented them from testifying any resentment; but
they
never perceived it.  They thought that, as these cottagers were poor and untaught, they must be stupid and brutish; and as long as they, their superiors, condescended to talk to them, and to give them shillings and half-crowns, or articles of clothing, they had a right to amuse themselves, even at their expense; and the people must adore them as angels of light, condescending to minister to their necessities, and enlighten their humble dwellings.

I made many and various attempts to deliver my pupils from these delusive notions without alarming their pride — which was easily offended, and not soon appeased — but with little apparent result; and I know not which was the more reprehensible of the two: Matilda was more rude and boisterous; but from Rosalie’s womanly age and lady-like exterior better things were expected: yet she was as provokingly careless and inconsiderate as a giddy child of twelve.

One bright day in the last week of February, I was walking in the park, enjoying the threefold luxury of solitude, a book, and pleasant weather; for Miss Matilda had set out on her daily ride, and Miss Murray was gone in the carriage with her mamma to pay some morning calls.  But it struck me that I ought to leave these selfish pleasures, and the park with its glorious canopy of bright blue sky, the west wind sounding through its yet leafless branches, the snow-wreaths still lingering in its hollows, but melting fast beneath the sun, and the graceful deer browsing on its moist herbage already assuming the freshness and verdure of spring — and go to the cottage of one Nancy Brown, a widow, whose son was at work all day in the fields, and who was afflicted with an inflammation in the eyes; which had for some time incapacitated her from reading: to her own great grief, for she was a woman of a serious, thoughtful turn of mind.  I accordingly went, and found her alone, as usual, in her little, close, dark cottage, redolent of smoke and confined air, but as tidy and clean as she could make it.  She was seated beside her little fire (consisting of a few red cinders and a bit of stick), busily knitting, with a small sackcloth cushion at her feet, placed for the accommodation of her gentle friend the cat, who was seated thereon, with her long tail half encircling her velvet paws, and her half-closed eyes dreamily gazing on the low, crooked fender.

‘Well, Nancy, how are you to-day?’

‘Why, middling, Miss, i’ myseln — my eyes is no better, but I’m a deal easier i’ my mind nor I have been,’ replied she, rising to welcome me with a contented smile; which I was glad to see, for Nancy had been somewhat afflicted with religious melancholy.  I congratulated her upon the change.  She agreed that it was a great blessing, and expressed herself ‘right down thankful for it’; adding, ‘If it please God to spare my sight, and make me so as I can read my Bible again, I think I shall be as happy as a queen.’

‘I hope He will, Nancy,’ replied I; ‘and, meantime, I’ll come and read to you now and then, when I have a little time to spare.’

With expressions of grateful pleasure, the poor woman moved to get me a chair; but, as I saved her the trouble, she busied herself with stirring the fire, and adding a few more sticks to the decaying embers; and then, taking her well-used Bible from the shelf, dusted it carefully, and gave it me.  On my asking if there was any particular part she should like me to read, she answered —

‘Well, Miss Grey, if it’s all the same to you, I should like to hear that chapter in the First Epistle of St. John, that says, “God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”’

With a little searching, I found these words in the fourth chapter.  When I came to the seventh verse she interrupted me, and, with needless apologies for such a liberty, desired me to read it very slowly, that she might take it all in, and dwell on every word; hoping I would excuse her, as she was but a ‘simple body.’

‘The wisest person,’ I replied, ‘might think over each of these verses for an hour, and be all the better for it; and I would rather read them slowly than not.’

Accordingly, I finished the chapter as slowly as need be, and at the same time as impressively as I could; my auditor listened most attentively all the while, and sincerely thanked me when I had done.  I sat still about half a minute to give her time to reflect upon it; when, somewhat to my surprise, she broke the pause by asking me how I liked Mr. Weston?

‘I don’t know,’ I replied, a little startled by the suddenness of the question; ‘I think he preaches very well.’

‘Ay, he does so; and talks well too.’

‘Does he?’

‘He does.  Maybe, you haven’t seen him — not to talk to him much, yet?’

‘No, I never see any one to talk to — except the young ladies of the Hall.’

‘Ah; they’re nice, kind young ladies; but they can’t talk as he does.’

‘Then he comes to see you, Nancy?’

‘He does, Miss; and I’se thankful for it.  He comes to see all us poor bodies a deal ofter nor Maister Bligh, or th’ Rector ever did; an’ it’s well he does, for he’s always welcome: we can’t say as much for th’ Rector — there is ‘at says they’re fair feared on him.  When he comes into a house, they say he’s sure to find summut wrong, and begin a-calling ’em as soon as he crosses th’ doorstuns: but maybe he thinks it his duty like to tell ’em what’s wrong.  And very oft he comes o’ purpose to reprove folk for not coming to church, or not kneeling an’ standing when other folk does, or going to the Methody chapel, or summut o’ that sort: but I can’t say ’at he ever fund much fault wi’ me.  He came to see me once or twice, afore Maister Weston come, when I was so ill troubled in my mind; and as I had only very poor health besides, I made bold to send for him — and he came right enough.  I was sore distressed, Miss Grey — thank God, it’s owered now — but when I took my Bible, I could get no comfort of it at all.  That very chapter ‘at you’ve just been reading troubled me as much as aught — “He that loveth not, knoweth not God.”  It seemed fearsome to me; for I felt that I loved neither God nor man as I should do, and could not, if I tried ever so.  And th’ chapter afore, where it says, — “He that is born of God cannot commit sin.”  And another place where it says, — “Love is the fulfilling of the Law.”  And many, many others, Miss: I should fair weary you out, if I was to tell them all.  But all seemed to condemn me, and to show me ‘at I was not in the right way; and as I knew not how to get into it, I sent our Bill to beg Maister Hatfield to be as kind as look in on me some day and when he came, I telled him all my troubles.’

‘And what did he say, Nancy?’

‘Why, Miss, he seemed to scorn me.  I might be mista’en — but he like gave a sort of a whistle, and I saw a bit of a smile on his face; and he said, “Oh, it’s all stuff!  You’ve been among the Methodists, my good woman.”  But I telled him I’d never been near the Methodies.  And then he said, — “Well,” says he, “you must come to church, where you’ll hear the Scriptures properly explained, instead of sitting poring over your Bible at home.”

‘But I telled him I always used coming to church when I had my health; but this very cold winter weather I hardly durst venture so far — and me so bad wi’ th’ rheumatic and all.

‘But he says, “It’ll do your rheumatiz good to hobble to church: there’s nothing like exercise for the rheumatiz.  You can walk about the house well enough; why can’t you walk to church?  The fact is,” says he, “you’re getting too fond of your ease.  It’s always easy to find excuses for shirking one’s duty.”

‘But then, you know, Miss Grey, it wasn’t so.  However, I telled him I’d try.  “But please, sir,” says I, “if I do go to church, what the better shall I be?  I want to have my sins blotted out, and to feel that they are remembered no more against me, and that the love of God is shed abroad in my heart; and if I can get no good by reading my Bible an’ saying my prayers at home, what good shall I get by going to church?”’

‘“The church,” says he, “is the place appointed by God for His worship.  It’s your duty to go there as often as you can.  If you want comfort, you must seek it in the path of duty,” — an’ a deal more he said, but I cannot remember all his fine words.  However, it all came to this, that I was to come to church as oft as ever I could, and bring my prayer-book with me, an’ read up all the sponsers after the clerk, an’ stand, an’ kneel, an’ sit, an’ do all as I should, and take the Lord’s Supper at every opportunity, an’ hearken his sermons, and Maister Bligh’s, an’ it ’ud be all right: if I went on doing my duty, I should get a blessing at last.

‘“But if you get no comfort that way,” says he, “it’s all up.”

‘“Then, sir,” says I, “should you think I’m a reprobate?”

‘“Why,” says he — he says, “if you do your best to get to heaven and can’t manage it, you must be one of those that seek to enter in at the strait gate and shall not be able.”

‘An’ then he asked me if I’d seen any of the ladies o’ th’ Hall about that mornin’; so I telled him where I had seen the young misses go on th’ Moss Lane; — an’ he kicked my poor cat right across th’ floor, an’ went after ’em as gay as a lark: but I was very sad.  That last word o’ his fair sunk into my heart, an’ lay there like a lump o’ lead, till I was weary to bear it.

‘Howsever, I follered his advice: I thought he meant it all for th’ best, though he
had
a queer way with him.  But you know, Miss, he’s rich an’ young, and such like cannot right understand the thoughts of a poor old woman such as me.  But, howsever, I did my best to do all as he bade me — but maybe I’m plaguing you, Miss, wi’ my chatter.’

‘Oh, no, Nancy!  Go on, and tell me all.’

‘Well, my rheumatiz got better — I know not whether wi’ going to church or not, but one frosty Sunday I got this cold i’ my eyes.  Th’ inflammation didn’t come on all at once like, but bit by bit — but I wasn’t going to tell you about my eyes, I was talking about my trouble o’ mind; — and to tell the truth, Miss Grey, I don’t think it was anyways eased by coming to church — nought to speak on, at least: I like got my health better; but that didn’t mend my soul.  I hearkened and hearkened the ministers, and read an’ read at my prayer-book; but it was all like sounding brass and a tinkling cymbal: the sermons I couldn’t understand, an’ th’ prayer-book only served to show me how wicked I was, that I could read such good words an’ never be no better for it, and oftens feel it a sore labour an’ a heavy task beside, instead of a blessing and a privilege as all good Christians does.  It seemed like as all were barren an’ dark to me.  And then, them dreadful words, “Many shall seek to enter in, and shall not be able.”  They like as they fair dried up my sperrit.