Defy (18 page)

to use me as leverage to try and put a stop to this war.”

“And you’re just going to let him do it?” I glanced at Lisbet,

then back at Prince Damian.

“I have no choice. None of us has the ability to stop a sorcerer,

it would seem.”

I looked away from his penetrating gaze in shame. Guilt

pounded through me, pulsing with my blood. It was a dig at me,

and it hit true. I’d failed him. At least this sorcerer hadn’t wanted him dead, unlike the last one who had attacked a prince of Antion.

Lisbet took a seat on the ground next to Rylan. “What Damian

says is true. And if you wish to make it there in one piece, I recom-

mend that you don’t anger Eljin again. Although you did choose

wisely,” she continued, turning to look at Damian. “She may not

have stopped Eljin, but she did put up an excellent fight. With the

right training —”

“That’s enough.” Prince Damian held up a hand, having

gone pale.

I stared at Lisbet in horror, my blood suddenly cold in my veins.

“What’s wrong? I assumed you were aware that the best fighter

on your guard is a girl.” She had a peculiar look on her face, and

despite her attempt to act surprised, I was pretty sure she had pur-

posely revealed my secret. “You did know, didn’t you?”

My heart pounded as I forced myself to look at Damian. He

stared back, his blue eyes piercing through me. I felt strangely

light-headed and my pulse raced, sending my blood surging

through my body.

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“Did you — did you —” My voice was unsteady; I couldn’t

force the question out.

“Alex,” he said very quietly. I expected him to be shocked, to

get angry. Instead, he just looked at me, regret on his handsome

face. Somehow, he already knew.
He knew.

My heart constricted; I was hardly able to draw breath. Finding

out that Rylan knew was one thing — but now Prince Damian,

too? Sudden panic threatened to strangle me, and I scrambled to

my feet.

In one lithe movement, Damian stood up as well. I’d never felt

so small before — so unmasked. I stared up at him with my stom-

ach clenched into knots.

“How long?” I finally breathed, barely able to speak over the

pounding of my heart. He stepped toward me but I stiffened and

he halted.

“A while,” he said softly. We stared at each other for a long,

breathless moment. Suddenly, the last few nights took on new

meaning. He’d known I was a girl the whole time. I didn’t know

whether I should get mad or cry or both.

Damian glanced down at Lisbet, then his eyes narrowed when

he turned to Rylan. “You don’t seem very surprised by this

announcement.”

I looked over at Rylan to see him grimace slightly. “No, sir.”

“You knew that Alex was — is — a girl?”

“Yes, Your Highness. But she didn’t know I knew. Well, until

this week, after she was attacked by the jaguar.”

“A
jaguar
?” Damian sounded truly incredulous now as he

spun around to face me again. “How could you keep a jaguar

attack from me?”

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Heat rose in my cheeks. “
You
didn’t tell me you knew I was a

girl!” I forced myself to meet his accusing gaze.

Gone was any pretense of the petulant brat I’d come home to

after our disastrous trip to the Heart of the Rivers. Here was the

Damian I’d caught a glimpse of that night in his outer chamber,

when he’d told me about his brother. Well, a much
angrier
version of that Damian, but at least the persona he adopted for everyone

else to see was gone. He stared at me with disbelief on his hand-

some face.

“You were attacked by a jaguar, and you didn’t think to tell

me? Are you all right?”

“You knew I was a girl and you still came out to talk to me in

the middle of night without a shirt on?” I shot right back.

“You did
what
?” Rylan cut in, his eyes wide.

“It’s none of your business,” the prince snapped and then

stepped closer. “Alex — if that’s even your real name — would you

really
have wanted me to tell you I knew? It would have put you in danger. It would have changed everything.”

I stared at him, my heart f lopping like a wounded animal in

my chest. “Alexa,” I whispered.

“What?”

“My name is Alexa.”

“Alexa,” he repeated quietly. Hearing Damian say my real name

sent a warm shiver sliding down my spine, straight into my belly.

“And now that the truth is out in the open, I’ve been curious for

quite some time. How did a girl come to be the best swordsman and

shot in my personal guard? And what is this about a jaguar attack?”

“I believe I should go see if there is any food left from supper,”

Lisbet said suddenly, standing up. “I suppose I can trust the three

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of you to stay in here? I don’t have to warn you that Eljin can do

as much damage from across a campground as he can from five

feet away, do I?”

We all looked at her silently, until Damian nodded once curtly.

She curtsied to him, which was odd, considering she was one of

our captors, and then left without another word.

Damian immediately turned to me. “I’d like answers to my

questions now.” It wasn’t a request.

I cleared my throat nervously. “Could you at least sit down

first?”

My heart skipped a beat when he didn’t move, afraid I’d

pushed him too far. He was still the prince. But finally he folded

his long legs and sat down beside Rylan, both of them facing me.

Piercing blue eyes and warm brown ones, both intent, waiting

for me.

I haltingly began trying to explain myself. “My parents were

afraid of your father’s war. I used to hear them talking about it at

night. My mother was worried that they wouldn’t be able to pro-

tect me in particular, since I was a girl.”

“Because they thought you might be forced into the breeding

house?” Damian’s eyes darkened, and his voice sent another shiver

down my spine.

“Yes.”

A muscle in his jaw tightened. “Go on.”

I told him how I’d asked to train with my brother, and how I

grew to be a better fighter than he was. Better than anyone else in

the village, even though I was only a girl of fourteen when our

parents were killed. I told them how Marcel and I made the des-

perate decision to lie about our ages and to cut off my hair and

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pretend I was his twin brother to save me from being taken to the

king’s breeding house. To save me from the fate that awaited girls

there — being raped repeatedly until they got pregnant, only to

have the babies taken from them and raised to populate the king’s

army, as soon as the boys were old enough to hold swords, or to

expand his breeding house, as soon as the girls got their monthly

courses. I tried not to think about Kalen, or Horace, or the girl

lying on the bed, or anything else I’d seen that horrible night as I

spoke, but nausea still rose in my belly.

“When I am king, I want you to know that I will set those

poor girls free and burn that building to the ground.” The cold

fury in his voice made me hope he was serious — and that he

became king sooner rather than later. But what hope was there of

that? King Hector wasn’t old, certainly not close to dying anytime

soon. Not unless something happened to him.

Shaking my head to clear the treasonous thoughts, I told

Damian how no one had questioned me when Marcel and I volun-

teered to join the army, especially once they saw me fight, and

then there had been no going back.

“So you’re actually only seventeen?” he asked. “You lied about

your age as well?”

I nodded.

“A seventeen-year-old girl.” Prince Damian shook his head.

“And how did you find out?” He turned to Rylan.

“The day she and Marcel joined the army, he accidentally

called her Alexa in front of me. He realized that I’d overheard and

later swore me to secrecy.”

“But you didn’t know that he knew?” Damian asked me.

I shook my head. “No.”

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“And you’ve been pretending to be a boy ever since.”

“I’m sorry for deceiving you.” I lifted my chin and met his

searching gaze. “When my parents died, we didn’t know what else to

do. But I don’t regret it. As you know, I’m very good at what I do.”

“Unless faced with a sorcerer,” he commented and that shut

me right up. His expression was almost calculating as he looked

at me. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking.

“I know of no ordinary human fighter who could beat a sor-

cerer,” Rylan supplied, belatedly adding, “Your Highness.”

“You don’t need to keep addressing me like that. We’re sitting

in a tent in the middle of the jungle with a sorcerer ready to knock

us f lat on our backs if we look at him sideways. I think it would be safe for you to just call me Damian right now.” But as he spoke, his

eyes were on mine, making my stomach tighten. “However, I must

disagree with you. There are
few
who could beat a sorcerer, but they do exist.”

“You’re saying that I should have been able to stop Eljin — to

beat him?” I asked defensively.

“As you are now? No. As you said, you’re very good, some

might even say remarkable. But you wouldn’t be able to stop

Eljin — as we saw the other night.”

Rylan glanced between Damian and me uncertainly.

“But you expect me to believe that it
is
possible to beat him, without magic?” I bit out through clenched teeth. He just
had
to keep reminding me of my failure. “And what if he’d attacked me

with fire? You expect me to believe I could have defended myself

against that?” I challenged him, daring him to tell me that my

father shouldn’t have died. If he couldn’t stop a sorcerer’s fire, no one could.

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Damian lifted one eyebrow, giving me a scrutinizing look.

“Eljin isn’t a black sorcerer. He can’t summon fire.” He paused.

“Why did you think he could?”

I glanced at Rylan, who was watching the entire exchange

with his eyebrows raised, then back at the prince. “The sorcerer

who killed my parents used fire. My father was the best fighter I

ever knew, but he never stood a chance. The sorcerer burned him

and my mother to death in a matter of seconds.” I glared at

Damian. “And you expect me to believe that my father should have

been able to stop him?”

“A
black
sorcerer killed your parents?” Damian’s eyebrows

lifted in what looked like surprise. “Was he alone?”

“No,” I responded through gritted teeth. “He was with the

Blevonese army. And what do you mean, a
black
sorcerer?” I hadn’t realized there were different types — or that not all of them could

use fire as a weapon.

“A black sorcerer with the Blevonese army,” Damian repeated,

ignoring my question, making me even more irritated. He wasn’t

looking at me anymore; instead, he stared past me unseeingly.

After a long stretch of silence, he shook his head slightly, his

expression grim. “Black sorcerers are . . . rare. And they are the

only ones who can wield fire.”

So our enemy had multiple types of sorcerers fighting against

us. That was unwelcome news. “And yet, you think I should be

able to beat a sorcerer in a fight?” I asked Damian, my voice tight.

“Even a black sorcerer?”

“Well, obviously, it would be even more difficult against a

black sorcerer. But it’s been done before.” Damian stared directly

at me, his eyes piercing. “That level of skill is extremely rare to

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find, but it
is
possible. It also requires extensive and brutal training — something that isn’t offered in Antion, since my father

despises sorcery so much.” A strangely derisive tone colored his

words. I felt there was more to what he was saying than I

understood.

“Well, I’m very sorry that I was unable to reach that level of

skill on my own. It’s unfortunate that your father doesn’t believe

in that type of training. It might have saved us from getting into this mess.” My already bad mood was rapidly deteriorating into something even darker.

“Yes, unfortunate indeed.” Damian’s gaze was unwavering

on mine.

Rylan broke in suddenly. “As long as we’re all in here alone,

don’t you think we should be making a plan to escape and return

to the palace? Have you had any clues about which direction we’re

headed while Alex and I were unconscious?”

“We will not be attempting to escape,” Damian responded.

“But, my lord — I mean, Damian,” Rylan corrected himself.

“I don’t understand. . . .”

“They’ve kept me ignorant of the route we’ve taken, but I’m

fairly certain we’re heading toward Blevon. My decision is to wait

and see what happens. We will continue to do as they tell us until

we find out who is behind all of this, and then we can make a plan.”

I stared at him. “You don’t seem very upset for a prince who

has just been abducted from the palace and dragged halfway across

his country, possibly to his death.”

“That’s my decision, and it’s final.” Gone was the pretense of

being friendly with us. He was our prince suddenly, giving us an