Deep Surrendering: Episode Nine (9 page)
I hung up with Rory feeling good. I had the ball to look forward to, and Italy. Apart from everything with Fin, my life was on track and going to a great place.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Something was missing. I guess I’d always feel that way. I had to get used to living without him.
“It’s spectacular,” Sloane said as I spun around in my dress. “I mean, I know I made it, but it’s really spectacular.” Sloane was being modest. The dress was more than spectacular. It was the most beautiful dress I’d ever seen.
It was black, but gathered on my left hip to reveal a white underskirt with beading. The top was simple, and didn’t overwhelm the bottom. Of course, it fit me like it was specifically made for me. Which it was.
The dress hid everything I wanted to hide and highlighted all the things I liked.
“It’s perfect, absolutely perfect,” I said, turning sideways in the mirror. My ass looked fantastic. But that was the power of Sloane Harris of SH Designs.
“Do you want to see the others? I have them all here.” She wheeled out three more mannequins. I knew whose dress was whose just by the style.
“Let me guess, that one’s yours,” I said, pointing to the silky flowered dress that looked like it was made from a scarf. Sloane had a pretty bohemian style, which was a little at odds with some of her more elaborate designs.
“How did you guess?”
I gave her a look. Was she kidding?
“Okay, okay. I get it. Anyway, do you want to see it on?” This was a grown-up version of dress-up and I loved it. I’d forgotten how much fun it could be to just try on pretty dresses with a friend. Sloane put her dress on and we twirled around, much to the amusement of her interns and employees.
“Hey! This does not concern you. Back to work!” She snapped her fingers and everyone scurried to get back to whatever they were supposed to be doing.
Sloane could be a bit . . . harsh on her employees. But her clothes were always fabulous, so I guess she got results.
“So, how are things with Fin?” Rory might have forgotten to ask, but Sloane didn’t.
I froze mid-twirl.
“We’re not together anymore. But please, please don’t tell Rory. I just don’t want her to know. I’m afraid her parents will find out and then people will start asking my parents about it. I’d just like to avoid that if I could.” I hadn’t told her about my mom, so I just pretended things were normal.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry. That sucks.” She put her arms around me. She was so tall that she had to bend a bit.
“Yeah, well. It just didn’t work out. Sometimes that happens.” That seemed to be my line.
“I’m sorry. Maybe you’ll meet someone at the ball. There will be tons of software geeks.”
I laughed. “Sign me up.”
Fall arrived in Boston, and it seemed prettier than ever this year. I spent as much time as I could outside, walking in the park, watching the leaves change and fall from the trees. I tried to take comfort in the little things in life. I hadn’t taken pictures in a while, so I bought myself a camera and started taking as many as I could of everyday things, and then I redecorated my apartment with them.
Things got normal again, or as normal as they could be. I was still writing Fin letters, and I had to keep putting them in bigger and bigger boxes. I almost had enough for a novel. But writing to Fin that way helped me get out all the bad thoughts in my head. I was afraid if I didn’t write them down, they’d destroy me. That was my biggest fear when I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like I was falling.
One afternoon I found myself in a cab, driving past Fin’s apartment. Part of me almost asked him to stop the car and let me out. But we kept heading back to my place. I’d had a ton of work to do at the library, so I’d brought my rolling book cart, and I didn’t have the energy to wheel it back to my apartment.
There was someone waiting on the front step when I got home. I couldn’t tell who it was because they were all bundled up in a coat with a fur hood and baggy jeans with Chucks. But I had an idea. I got out of the cab and paid my fare.
She got up when I walked toward the door.
“What are you doing here? I thought you said I’d never see you again?” I said as Sapphire (Lauren, I should really start thinking of her as Lauren) pulled back her hood. Her hair was back in a ponytail, and her face was free of makeup except for black eyeliner.
“I’m worried about Fin. Have you talked to him lately?”
I didn’t answer her question. “How do you know where I live?” I didn’t like people showing up at my house unannounced.
“The internet. You can find anyone if you want to.”
She had a good point. “I guess. I’m not really happy that you’re here. I thought we were done. And Fin and I are done, not that it’s any of your business.”
She chewed on her thumbnail and looked up and down the street, as if she was worried that someone was watching her.
“Can we go inside? We don’t have to go to your place, but just inside?” She rubbed her arms even though it wasn’t that cold and she was wearing a thick coat.
“Yeah, sure. We can go inside.” I opened the door for her and we walked into the lobby. I was going to check my mail, but didn’t want to do it with her here.
“So, what makes you think Fin’s in trouble?” I asked, leaning against the wall near the elevator.
“Because the money’s stopped. And I can’t seem to get in touch with him.” She really did look worried. Very different from her normal confidence.
“He and I talked about you, but he didn’t say he was going to stop the money. And I didn’t ask him to.” That seemed odd, I had to admit.
“Oh. Well. When was the last time you heard from him?” She shifted from foot to foot. She was definitely freaking out.
“Almost a month ago. He wrote me a letter and we broke up, and that’s been it. He hasn’t called, hasn’t texted. I haven’t contacted him either.” Maybe I should have, just to see how things were going with him. But I was so hurt that it was easier to cut off all contact than to have just a little.
“Shit. I just have this feeling something is wrong. He’s never done this before.” She kept fidgeting, and it was starting to drive me nuts. People were walking past, giving us weird looks.
“Why don’t you come upstairs and we can talk?” I asked. I really didn’t want to, but I was starting to get worried.
“Thanks,” she said, and we walked up the stairs to my place. I let her in.
“Do you want anything? Water?” This was even weirder than the time we’d met at Fin’s place.
She looked around and then shook her head. “No, I’m fine. You didn’t have to let me up, but I appreciate it. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t care about the money. I make enough on my own, but I just have this feeling. I’m not going to claim to be psychic or anything, but I do get feelings sometimes and they’re always right. I just know that something isn’t okay with him.”
I took a breath and took out my phone. “Well, I’ll just text him and see.” I typed out a short message.
Everything okay? Please reply.
After I sent it, I called Carl, but he didn’t answer. I left a message for him asking if he’d talked to Fin lately, and to call me back. I didn’t mention Sapphire.
“Thank you so much,” she said, looking a lot more relieved. I couldn’t believe I was seeing her again.
“We broke up,” I said, even though I’d already told her that.
“Yeah, I know. He called me after he got your letter.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes when she said it.
“He did? What did he say?” I was dying to know what he thought of the letter. I almost didn’t care that he’d called her to talk.
“He was . . . he was upset. I’ve never heard him like that.” She started to say something else, but the phone rang. I answered without looking to see who it was.
“Hello? Fin?”
“Hello, Marisol Everly.”
It was Mr. Herald. Fin’s father. I’d recognize that voice anywhere.
I dropped the phone.
Don’t forget to check out
Deep Surrendering
Episode 9
when it comes out on December 18th
The Noctalis Chronicles
Nocturnal
(Book One)
Nightmare
(Book Two)
Neither
(Book Three)
Neverend
(Book Four)
The Whisper Trilogy
Whisper
(Book One)
Fall and Rise
Deeper We Fall
(Book One)
Faster We Burn
(Book Two)
Slowly We Trust
(Book Three)
(Available from Harlequin)
Surrendering
Just when I think I know where this story is going, Marisol and Fin throw a wrench in my plans. I’ve grown to expect the unexpected. Thanks go to my always patient editor, formatter, publicist and the fans who continue to ask “when is the next episode?”
