Authors: Patricia Veryan
December slipped away, and January came in on icy feet, dropping snow onto the great house and sending inquisitive gusts of wind to rattle the windows and whine in the chimneys. On a cold, but brighter afternoon, fully dressed for the first time in over two months, Mathieson sat in the windowseat, stroking Picayune who had curled up in his lap. He had been allowed to walk about the room this past week, and was to go downstairs today. Another milestone! Sorri, who had taken command again after most of the nurses left, would be here at any moment, to help him negotiate the staircase. He was a trifle nervous about those stairs, but be damned if he'd let them carry him down! Lord knows, he must look sufficient of a scarecrow as it was, what with all his scars and the narrow bandage that was bound across both eyes.
He had come to grips with his blindness to an extent, but there were times still when he fumbled clumsily, trying to feed himself; or when fear of the future dragged him very low. He dared not let his thoughts linger in that direction, and turned them quickly to the many things for which he should be grateful.
Most of all, of course, there was his beloved, who had proved so brave and so devoted. Next, was Muffin. The dear old curmudgeon had been magnificent throughout. How many invaluable talks they'd had, learning to know each other. The old fellow loved himâreally loved him!
Incroyable!
Certainly, he had been forgiven, just as Lady Clorinda had demanded, and if
only things had been different, he might be able toâ But now ⦠had he the right to ask Fiona to become his wife? If he
was
so selfish, if they should be blessed with children, he would never see their little faces â¦
He lapsed, thinking with a raging bitterness, âDamn, damn, damn! Wasn't the rest of it enough? Did it have to be my eyes, too?' And then he despised himself for giving in to self-pity. True, he could no longer see, butâhe
had
seen. He'd seen the glory of countless sunrises and sunsets over England's varied and beautiful countryside; he'd seen his beloved Paris, so lovely at all seasons of the year. He'd seen roses, and the Spring flowers peeping up through the grass; he had seen his vision of perfection and so many of her swiftly changing expressions that could be hoarded in his mind's eye, andâ
His musing was interrupted, the duke ushering in a most unexpected visitor, and saying with an odd note to his voice, “Mrs. Shadwell has come to see you, Roland.”
Putting down Picayune and reaching for the cane beside him, Mathieson stood, thinking a mystified, âMrs. Shadwell â¦?'
He received an impression of shy hesitancy and his outstretched hand was taken by one that was bony and work-roughened. Then, a small, sweet-smelling bag of dried blossoms was thrust into his palm. A humble voice said, “Please to sit ye down, sir. Like Oi am doing. Ye saved me life, Captain. Oi'll never ferget ye. Oi wish as Oi could bring ye more than this.”
He remembered then, and in a flood of nostalgia, said, “Ah, yes. You are a long way from home, ma'am. How very good of you to come and bring me such a nice gift.”
The duke intervened with an offer of tea, which the woman declined in no little embarrassment. “Oi do know as Oi've no right to be here, yer Grace,” she murmured. “ButâOi heard as yer young gentleman was very ill ⦠Glad Oi do be t'see ye so ⦠sprightly again, Captain.”
The slight hesitation, the rather forced final words told their own story, but Mathieson thanked her again, and asked if the villagers had bothered her any more.
“Never went back there, sir. The Folk was coming south, and Oi come with 'em. Oi thought so many times o' what you did fer me. You and yer sweet lady.”
“The lady is anxious to see you,” Muffin said. “And I would be most pleased to learn of what my grandson did for you, ma'am.”
Before she could reply, Mathieson said quickly, “Mrs. Shadwell, when last we met you warned Miss Fiona 'gainst me, and said I wouldâerâ”
“Break her heart,” she supplied. “Oi did that, sir. Oi read yer palm, ye'll mind? And Oi saw you would soon come to a fork in the road o' life andâand it looked as if ⦔
“As if I would make a hasty exit?”
A brief pause, then she admitted this. “Oi bean't alius right in me readings, thank goodness. So it looks as if the second fork will be the one you'll be taking.”
“Theâsecond fork?” asked Marbury, intrigued.
“Aye, yer Grace.” A small hesitation, then she said, “Oi'd best not say more, and Oi must not stay and tire the gentleman. Oi wanted only to see him and wish him well.”
It sounded, thought Mathieson, as though she was keeping something from him, and he wondered if Muffin was warning her against more predictions. “I wish you will stay a little longer,” he urged. “Sirâperhaps we could ask Miss Bradford to come and â¦?”
“Nay, Oi must go now, Captain,” said Mrs. Shadwell, standing again. “Me people be waiting. Now, don't ye get up, sir, and never despair because ye cannot see. From what Oi heard, they doctors thought as ye'd die weeks an' weeks ago, and ye're still here. Prayer can work miracles, sir, and you're in mine and allus shall be. Every day Oi do live!”
Muffin went out with her. He did not at once return, probably discovering for himself the details of that involuntary rescue. For once quite alone save for Picayune who had promptly reclaimed his lap, Mathieson allowed memory to drift. During that rescue which now seemed so long ago, he'd been aided not
only by the valour of the Tiny Mite, but by his incomparable and so missed Rumpelstiltskin. Even after all these weeks, that wound was still raw, the death of the stallion so keenly felt that it ranked second only to the loss of his sight in the depth of grief it caused him. Dear old Rump ⦠He sighed, lost in recollection until the cat jumped down as the door opened, and went pattering off across the room.
Mathieson took up his cane and stood eagerly. “Is that you, Sorri?”
“No, dear boy. 'Tis your grandfather.”
Stepping forward and reaching out in the uncertain groping that never failed to wring the duke's heart, Mathieson asked, “Are we to go down, sir? Could you spare a moment before we do?”
“Of course.” Marbury came quickly to sit beside him. “Well now, what troubles you? I saw it in your face when that kind lady was here just now. Speaking of which, by what she tells meâ”
“Oh,
par grâce
, no sir. Do not speak of it, for I am very sure she told you a lot of fustian. Butâshe did say something thatâthat makes me wonder â¦
Grandpère
âer, am Iâwell, what I mean is ⦠Do Iâ
Mon Dieu!
how does one say this?” And in a desperate and rather jerky rush, he finished, “Is itâunpleasant forâfor people toâlook at me?”
The duke winced and looked down for an instant. Then he scanned his grandson's anxious face, and tried to be objective. Sorenson had carefully brushed the black hair into an attractive tumbling over the left side of Roland's forehead. It partially hid the wound that had irreparably damaged his eye, and the bandages concealed the rest. The scar across his right cheekbone would fade and be no worse than a sabre cut. The welts and bruises were already gone. His nose would never again be as perfectly straight, but by some miracle the fine mouth that had been so terribly swollen and lacerated when first they'd brought him home, had healed, leaving only a white half-moon scar on his chin. Inevitably, however, his ordeal had left its mark on
him; there were lines deeply graven between his brows, that had not been there before; a sprinkling of silver at his temples. He was still very thin and looked haggard, but that hopefully would change with time. Cautiously, his Grace began to describe these visible signs of his ordeal, thinking that it was as well that few people would ever see the boy's back. “You are something changed, there can be no doubt, Roland. ButâI'm not at all sure 'tis a disaster. In point of factâI think you lookârather more manly. Nowâif we're done with your fascinationsâ”
With a grin that made the duke's heart leap with gladness, Mathieson said theatrically, “Ah, but how can you be so
sans remords
?”
“I know, I know,” chuckled Marbury. “I am merciless. Butâ'tis very cold outside and I think we may have more snow, so I want you to come whilst there's still time. Fiona and her grandmama are already in the Great Hall. Unless, of course,” he added whimsically, “you'd as soon not bother withâ”
“Bother! Sir, do not tease me so. I scarce can wait!”
“Very well, but we must go slowly, and I want you to promise you'll tell me an you tire.”
Mathieson promised, his spirits lifting as they left the room to which he had been confined for so long. In the corridor, he sniffed the air and smelled not medicine and salves, but flowers, and beeswax and woodsmoke. “I love this house,” he said impulsively.
Marbury experienced a pang of guilt. “Then I shall settle another of my estates on the Aynsworths. I'm very sure Kit will underâ”
“What, and give Dominer to me? Sir, I didn't mean that!”
“I know you did not intend to hint. Now, you
must
hold to the rail, dear boy! Dominer is not entailed and if you want it, 'twould make me proud toâ”
“But I don't want it, your Grace. Ah! How crude! Your pardon! I
do
love it, and I shall be happy to be here with you. But
had I everâ I mean, the place I always hoped you might give to me someday, isâis Dance.”
The duke looked at him sharply and saw the brief look of defeat. What he'd started to say was âhad I ever married â¦' Poor lad. So that was what was fretting him, which was quite understandable. “Hold to the rail at once, sir!” he said gruffly. “Else you shall be returned to your bed!”
Mathieson laughed, but bowing to that terrible threat, he gripped the rail once more.
“Dance â¦?” said Marbury curiously, as they edged their way down again, watched by at least five and twenty pairs of anxious eyes. “Why on earth would you want that run-down awful old place? Your father let it go to rack and ruin, and 'tis so marred by that ugly quarry. Why not the farm in Surrey? Orâthe house at Richmond is not entailed either! Now, there's an idea! You shall certainly have the Richmond house. 'Tis right on the Thames, and the viewâ” He bit his lip, cursing himself. “Butâ
Dance
â¦!”
“You are too good, sir. And you're right about Dance, of courseânow. But it was where my father took
Maman
when first they wereâor she
thought
they were wed. She often spoke of it, for she was so happy there. She used to say it might have been made very beautiful. I began to think of how rewarding 'twould be to work on restoring it myself. I evenâdrew up plans. The quarry, you know, could be made into a lake, and gardens built around it. Andâ” In his eagerness he stumbled.
There were several muffled cries and a faint scream. The duke gave a gasp, steadied him, and said, “Thank heaven! Here comes Sorenson with your cloak. He'll keep you in your place my lad!”
When they reached the foot of the stairs Fiona came to take his hand and walk to the front doors with him. On the terrace the air was bitingly cold and stung his cheeks, but Mathieson felt invigorated and alive again. “What does it look like?” he asked.
The voice was slightly breathless, and Sorenson, supporting him, glanced uneasily at the duke.
“Heavy grey clouds,” said Fiona, watching her love's eager face. “But there's a break here and there and the sun occasionally peeps through.”
“The trees are bare, of course,” Marbury added, “and we've turned off the fountains for the winter, but it's all very pretty, just the same.”
He would have given his entire fortune for Roland to be able to see this, but he must not rail against fate, when it was so great a blessing that the dear lad had survived at all. “Are you able to manage the terrace steps, do you think?” he asked.
Mathieson was mildly surprised. He'd not suspected he was to be allowed to go so far, and he was already rather shaky in the knees, but he didn't want to go inside yet, so said he could race the duke to the old stone bridge and back, and heard his grandfather chuckle as he was guided carefully down the terrace steps.
He halted then, suddenly afraid. He'd always had a keen sense of smell, and since he had lost his sight, that sense seemed even keener. A horse was very close to him. Had Muffin bought him a new hack? He didn't want it! He didn't want even to touch a horse!
Mon Dieu!
How could they think he would want this? In a sweat of panic, he wrenched free and stepped back.
Marbury nodded to the groom. “Take off the blindfold now.”
His voice shaking, Mathieson said, “SirâI don't want toâ”
He was interrupted by a ringing whinny.
He stood as one turned to stone. Stunned. Disbelieving. Not daring to believe. His lips formed the name, but no sound came.
A gusty breathing. A friendly whicker. A soft mouth whuffling at his neck, shoving at him gently, making eager loving little grunts.
“R-Rump â¦?” he whispered numbly. “
Rump
? Isâis it â¦?”
Marbury said in a choked voice, “Yes, dear boy ⦠'TisâRump ⦔
Mathieson gave a strangled sob, flung his arms around the stallion's neck and buried his face against the sleek warm firmness of it.
Fiona was overcome and the duke took her in his arms. Sorenson blew his nose vigorously, and many of the servants who had crowded onto the terrace were in tears.
Stroking and stroking the silken side, the tossing nose, the smooth neck; so moved he could scarcely speak, Mathieson managed at length, “IâI don't understand ⦠How â¦?”
Marbury said gruffly, “I'll let this gentleman explain. Sergeant?”
Another shock, compounded by a voice that brought memory flooding back devastatingly. “It's me, Captain. Patchett. I'm the one what give you such a wallop in that damned barn.”