Deceptive Changes: Kat LaMond Book 1 (42 page)

I thought back and found that I was rarely jealous of anything Trace or Erick did.  Todd was the only one I couldn’t stand to watch with another woman.  Well, that’s stupid, Trace and Erick haven’t been around women since I’ve known them, at least intimately.

What if they weren’t happy with this arrangement and were only staying in it for me?  What’s so damn hot about me?  Why would they sacrifice their happiness just to stay with me?  What would I do if they decided to leave for a happier life?  That question alone brought tears to my eyes.  I could answer that one.  I’d die a long and slow death.  They made my life happier and better for being in it.  I’d go back to work and never stop until I was too old to work and then I’d want to die from the loneliness.  Selfish?  Maybe.

Todd pulled me closer and whispered against my neck, “Don’t, Kat.  We’re happy here.  Please don’t put yourself through this.”  He kissed my cheek and pulled me tighter against him.  I heard the others come up to me.  Even Thorn came over to me.

“What makes me so damn desirable?” I whispered through the tears. 

Todd smiled and ran his lips along my jaw.  “You, Kat.”

“What does that mean?  Are you sure it’s not the power that pulls you to me?  Are you sure I’m not just holding you in some spell?”  My concerns were valid but probably just doubt creeping in.

Thorn whispered against my ear, “If you have a spell over me then it’s well worth being under.” 

I tensed and Todd gave him a look over my shoulder.  “That’s not really helping, Thorn.”  Todd turned back to me and said, “Kat, if I was under a spell, would I have married you and still love you as much as I do now, even after our divorce?” 

I frowned.  “I don’t know anymore.  You and me, we’ve loved each other from the moment we met.  Yeah, we divorced but we always stayed in contact and saw more of each other after our divorce than before.  We’ve always known, Todd.”  I swallowed hard because the next thing I was about to say was going to be difficult and may cause them pain.  “The moment I met each of you I could feel the same tingle of love that I felt when I first met Todd, like I was meant to be with you, with him.  It wasn’t lust that put the tingle in my fingers and toes.  Only love can make you tingle like that.”  I closed my eyes because I didn’t want to see the expressions in their eyes.  “From the moment I saw Sven and Thorn, even though I fought hard against the feelings, they were there.  I never meant to have so many, I never meant for any of this and look where that got me.” 

I shifted and started to stand up but Todd’s arms kept me to him.  His breath whispered across my face as he said, “It got you loved, Kat.  I didn’t realize that you felt the same powerful emotions for them as for me.”

I looked into Todd’s brown eyes and asked, “Do you love them, too?”  He smiled and nodded.  “Does this make us bad people?” I whispered.  My heart was squishing in my chest and tears burned in my eyes.

“No, Kat, it makes our hearts bigger for it.”  His lips kissed the tears that were still making their way down my cheeks.  I leaned my head against his neck and cried.  I cried for everything that’s happened, for things that I had no control over, for the pain I’d caused those I loved dearly.  All of them wrapped Todd and me in their arms. 

I lifted my head and wiped the tears from my face.  Todd’s eyes were misted.  He wiped at his tears and chuckled self-consciously.  I kissed his cheek and smiled at him. 

Trace and Erick pressed against us.  Erick whispered, “I didn’t know you loved us, Katja.” 

I turned to him and bit my lip.  “I do, Erick.  I’m sorry I’ve never stated it before.  I’m not really good at that kind of thing.”

Erick’s green eyes shined brightly.  He kissed me lightly and said, “I’ve loved you since you raised me from the grave, Katja.”  My heart clenched when I thought, what if someone else had raised him, would he love that person just as much? 
Was
it all just a spell?  “Katja, don’t look like that.  I was meant to be with you, as are we all.”

“Thanks and all, Erick, but if it had been someone else that raised you…”

He stopped me.  “I would have found you anyway.  We’re meant to be, Katja, all of us.  Don’t doubt this.  Please?”  I smiled but didn’t nod or indicate which way I would think.  I couldn’t because the thought kept pressing into me. 

“Kat,” Trace whispered.  I swung my eyes to him.  “I’ve loved you and I didn’t even know you.  When my grandfather had given me the letter and said to find the ‘king slayer’ and I found out your name, I knew I had to be with you.  Forever.”  He kissed my knuckles and said, “It sounds ridiculous to even say that.  Like I’m jumping on a bandwagon or something but I’m not, I’ve just never thought to say the words.  I’m sorry I waited so long.”

“Don’t be, Trace.”  I ran my hand along his jaw and smiled.  “I feel like I’m saying something that I should have said a long time ago too late.”

Todd kissed my neck and said, “It’s never too late, Kat.” 

I chuckled softly and patted his arm.  “I need to get up, my butt’s falling asleep.”  He laughed and with Trace and Erick’s help I was standing.  Sven and Thorn were looking at me. 

They came over to me and gave me a kiss.  Sven whispered, “Can you love a vampire, Katja?” 

I frowned at him.  Didn’t I just say that I loved them?  Did he think that I was just bullshitting them?  “Why would you ask that, Sven?  I’ve already said so.  I do love you, both of you.”  I wanted to turn away from the embarrassing emotional stuff.  I wasn’t comfortable with the emotions involved but I owed them eye contact at least.  They sighed against me and wrapped their arms around my waist.  “Can you love a killer?  A vampire killer, no less?”

Sven’s whisper sent shivers along my spine, “Oh yes, Katja.” 

Thorn nodded against my neck, his hair brushing my cheek and lips.  “I’ve always thought that being attracted to you would be my undoing but I was wrong, you’ve made me stronger, Katja.  Can you love me?  Even though I’ve tried to kill you?”  His words were soft but I could hear the sadness, the pain and remorse he felt. 

I turned into him and kissed him softly on the lips, the metal of his lip ring pushing into my lips.  “Of course, Thorn.  I do love you.”  I kissed him once more and then stepped from their arms.  “I’ve had enough of the emotional stuff.  I can only take so much, guys.”  They laughed. 

I looked at the bedside clock and found that it was five-thirty in the morning.  I wasn’t tired but I wanted something strong to drink.  “I guess it’s too early to have a beer, huh?” 

Todd came over to me and shook his head.  “Nope.  You can always think of it as late night instead of early morning.”  He slung his arm over my shoulder and said, “Come on, let’s get a drink.  I could use one too.”  He kissed the top of my head and pulled me into the kitchen.

He settled me in a chair and grabbed beers for everyone, including Sven and Thorn.  Todd handed me one and sat next to me.  I turned to him after taking a sip.  “Are you still jealous?”

“Yes.  Though having spoken with Trace and Erick about it, I can deal better with my jealousy.”  He took a long swallow of beer and said, “I’ll try to make this work and, who knows, I may find that my jealousy goes by the side after I’ve spent more time with the vampires.  Our vampires.”  He winked.

“It’s just the vampires?”  He nodded.  I thought it was all of them.  I was so wrong. 

“Would you want to involve women in this group?”

“Why would you ask that?”  His confused expression let me know that he really hadn’t thought of it. 

“I don’t think I could deal with having women join our group, that’s all, and it seems unfair that I’m the only woman in the group.”  Todd and the others chuckled.  I frowned. 

“You’re all we want, babe.” 

Fear and pain shot through me, that damn doubt again.  I drank the rest of my beer and said, “That’s truly unfair to you guys.  I should only want one, right?”  I heard sighs go through the room.  “Okay, okay, never mind, guys.  I’ll try to keep my doubt inside my head from now on.”

I heard Todd mutter under his breath.  “Damn, Beatrice.” I looked at him.  “If she hadn’t said a damn word, we’d be as happy as we were before her comments.  You’d still have your self-confidence about being with us.  We wouldn’t be drinking beer right now, we’d be in the bedroom ravishing you over and over again.” 

I blushed and ran my tongue along my lips, mildly embarrassed. “I suppose you could make me forget,” I batted my eyes at him and stroked a finger along his jaw.  He didn’t hesitate.  He took me in his arms and held me to him, shoving his tongue into my mouth and making me forget all doubt. 

He sat down, adjusting our robes, and sliding me on top of him.  I breathed a sigh as we moved slowly together, his arms wrapped around me, kissing my neck, shoulders, cheeks, lips, eyes, everywhere he could reach with me still on top. 

I could feel the orgasm building and kissed him hard.  I tore my mouth from his as I cried out, he cried out a moment later.  “Oh, Kat,” he whispered and kissed my neck and lips. 

I caught sight of Sven and Thorn.  Their eyes were shining blue and gold.  My hands convulsed on Todd’s shoulders as I looked into their eyes.  Thorn played his tongue along his lips and caught the metal stud between his teeth.  I sighed.  I’d never been with someone who had a tongue piercing. 

“How can you keep your piercings?” I asked.  Thorn’s eyes widened in surprise.   I guess he hadn’t thought I’d ask. 

He chuckled softly, possibly at his own surprise.  “The piercings are silver and as long as I keep them in my body they won’t close up.  I tried tattoos but they healed even as the tattoo artist was applying the ink, which sucked, since at the time, it was a bit more expensive than now.” 

Sven played with Thorn’s nipple rings for a moment and then kissed him.  I bit my tongue and groaned softly.  Todd’s hands gripped me tighter as my breath vibrated against him.  I looked back at him and found that he was looking at the two vampires.  His breath was shallow and need filled his eyes.  I gave him a small kiss and climbed off him.  I wrapped the robe around my body and sat in my chair which put me near Thorn.

Thorn moved his chair nearer to me and held out his hand.  I took it hesitantly.  His cool fingers wrapped around mine.  He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles, his teeth grazing the bones.  “Have you ever had anyone go down on you who’s had a tongue piercing?”  I blushed and shook my head.  “Then you’re in for a real treat,” he whispered seductively.

I flicked my eyes to Sven.  His eyes were darker as he looked at me.  “Is that true, Sven?” 

He blinked and said, “You’ll want all of us to get piercings, Katja.”  I chuckled softly.  “You might not believe me now but wait until he uses his tongue.  I’ve thought about piercing my tongue just to let him know what it feels like.  But he doesn’t want me to have any piercings.”  His blue eyes focused on his lover. 

“Why?”

“Because, I love him without.  If I wanted someone with piercings I’d have been with that person but I’m not.”  His brown-gold eyes held a certainty that hadn’t been there before.  It was a nice change from the wounded animal look.  “Come with me, Katja.  I want you to feel my tongue on your body.”  My mouth fell open.  I closed it quickly. 

Thorn took me into his arms and brought me to the bedroom.  He laid me down on the bed and had my robe open, his hands playing along my rib cage and hips.  I cringed at the thought of him going down on me right after having sex with Todd.  He licked the hollow between groin and thigh and moaned.  “I can taste Todd.”  I felt his lips spread into a smile against my leg as he continued to lick.  I could feel the metal ball slide along my skin. 

He moved his tongue from my leg to my groin and licked slowly.  I could feel the coolness of the metal against my flesh.  He used the stud to run across my clit, over and over again.  His hands never left my ribs as he kissed, licked, and nibbled on me.  I cried out as the orgasm overwhelmed me.  He groaned against my body and slid up and into me.  He was nearly as big as Sven and filled me to the brim. 

Thorn bit my neck and fed on me.  I could feel his body warm against me as he moved in and out of me.  He took his mouth from my neck and moaned.  “Mmm.  You feel so good.”  He licked the blood that had pooled in the dippy part of neck and shoulder and went back to feeding.  I could feel the orgasm building before his bite became orgasmic. 

With a few movements and his bite, I was screaming and clawing at the bed in pleasure.  He licked the wound and kissed me.  I opened my mouth and tasted the blood on his tongue.  He moved his body against me until we both cried out. 

Thorn kissed me gently on the lips and rolled off me.  I lifted my head and saw that the guys were standing in the doorway.  The same expression was on their faces: need.  I groaned and let my head fall back onto the pillow.  If I added any more men to my group I was going to need to get a woman to help out.

I felt the bed shift and turned my head.  All four of them were crawling toward me.  I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth.  I jumped and opened my eyes when their hands touched my body.  Todd was tracing the new tattoo with his finger.  Trace and Erick were counting my ribs and Sven was running a finger along my jaw.  Thorn had turned into me and was running his hand on my leg.

“Well?” 

I looked at Sven and didn’t understand what he was asking.  “What are you asking?”