Deceptive Changes: Kat LaMond Book 1 (37 page)

I yanked on my arm and immediately turned direction and shoved my palm into his chest.  He flinched but didn’t let go.  His hand tightened on my arm painfully so.  I tried not to whimper as the pain became almost intolerable.  Why were they keeping me from Todd?  What was going on that I didn’t understand?

“If I stay in here you have to tell me what’s going on.  What is it that I don’t understand?”  I looked at each of them, Erick shrugged and Sven let my arm go.  “Now, tell me.”

“Kat.” I turned around and found Todd standing in the doorway.  “I’ll tell you.”  He walked up to me and tried to hug me but I walked away. 

I stood behind the couch and watched him.  He was still sad and the tiredness that I had seen from him when this whole thing started was there, weighing him down.  “Explain, Todd.”

“We’ve known each other almost our whole lives.  We’ve been together through high school.” I smiled at the memories.  “We married when you came back from the military.  We might have divorced but I never stopped loving you, Katja.  You’ve been my soul mate from the moment I laid eyes on you.”  He stopped talking for a moment.  I breathed a sigh as I thought of our life together.  What would it have been like for us if we’d never gotten together?  Would he be safe?  Would he be in more danger?  Would he be dead by Antreas’ hand?  Those were questions I had zero answers for and I didn’t like to think of them.

“I can’t lose you, Kat.  You’re all I’ve got.  Yes, it’s nice to have the guys around but you’re mine.  I had you before this and will stay with you after.”  He walked up to me and hugged me tightly.  This time I didn’t walk away but hugged him back.  I couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t sound stupid.  “Will you stay with me, Kat?”

I pulled back from the hug and looked at him.  Would I stay with him?  “Yes, Todd.  I’d stay with you.  Why would you ask me that?”

“Because you put your life on the line constantly.  I can’t have you dying on me.” 

I frowned at him.  “Todd, do you think I can’t protect myself?”  That was a stupid question.  On several occasions I almost died. 

“You can protect yourself, I know this intellectually.  My instinct is to protect you, though.” 

I rolled my eyes and stepped back from him.  “Todd, I’ll let you know something.  I didn’t want this.  I never did but now that I’m in this and I’ve done things, I can’t go back.  I will never be the same Katja that you knew.  I wasn’t the same person you knew when I came back from the military.  I changed and I have to say for the better.  I will always be there for you but if you keep up with this macho guy thing, I can’t take that and I won’t.  I’m strong.  I kill without much thought and I don’t regret it.”  I held up my hand to keep him from talking.  “If you think that you can protect me then I shouldn’t have this tattoo thing that makes me your ‘enforcer’ for bad little vampires.  I should be stuck somewhere in an office or something stupid like that.  I’d never be happy and I’d probably kill myself from boredom,” I said the last with a small laugh.

“That’s not funny, Kat.” He said it with a small smile playing on his lips.  “I know that you’re strong.  I know that you were given this position by some higher power.  I know this but it still doesn’t mean that I don’t want to protect you.  You’re mine, Kat.  I may share you with the guys but you’re mine from the beginning and will always be mine.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t start an argument so I went with flippant.  “Possessive much?” 

“Yes I am.”  I blinked at him and shook my head.  I couldn’t believe this. 

“Okay, Todd.”  I looked past him and tried to figure a way to get to the kitchen without going by any of them.  Impossible. 

“We never did get something to eat,” I said as a change of subject.  “I’m going to order some food.”  He nodded.  I stayed where I was for a moment.  “Can you move, please?”  He lifted an eyebrow.  I sighed and walked around him. 

He moved fast, faster than I’d ever seen him move.  He had me in his arms before I knew what had happened and pressed his lips to mine.  I pushed against him.  I wasn’t in the mood to be kissed.  He let me go and walked to the couch and sat between Trace and Erick.

I walked into the kitchen and ordered room service.  I stayed in the kitchen and rested my hip against the counter after I placed the phone down.  I didn’t want to talk with them.  I understood where Todd was coming from.  I wanted to protect him too but I also let him be in situations where he might get hurt or killed.  Just Todd being the vampires’ king allowed for a certain amount of danger. 

I sank to the ground and laid my head on my knees.  I was responsible for the mess we were in and there was nothing I could do but let it play out and hope that we didn’t lose too many along the way. 

I looked up when Sven walked into the kitchen.  He sat beside me but didn’t say anything for a while.  He leaned his head on mine and asked, “Would you leave all this behind to be with Todd?”  I sucked in a breath.  I didn’t want to think of that.  I wanted nothing more than to reverse this and make them all happy but I didn’t know how. 

The doorbell saved me from answering.  I stood up and went to answer the door but Todd got to it first.  This time it really was just room service.   Todd had the attendant set the dining table for us.  He signed the bill and the attendant left. 

We sat at the table with Todd at the head of the table, Erick and Trace on the sides and me at the opposite end of Todd.  Sven stayed in the kitchen, probably waiting for me to answer his question.  I had every intention of ignoring it, too.  After our late dinner we went to bed.  We didn’t do much other than kiss and fall asleep. 

We moved into the new house after checking out of the hotel, a beautiful home, and I really hoped we would stay put this time.  The house sat on thirteen acres of land with a long, paved driveway.  Nothing fancy about the house on the outside.  A three car garage attached to the house on the right side, looking at the house. 

The house was beautiful in an understated way.  A small foyer leads off into three directions.  On the left was the sitting room slash living room.  Straight ahead, double doors that lead to the backyard, and to the left of the doors was the kitchen.  On the right of the foyer was the powder room and closet.  Along the same wall was a door leading to the dining room, and a hall that led to the three bedrooms.

The bedrooms were nicely decorated in mute colors of white, lavender, and pale peach.  On either side of the hall were two of the three bedrooms.  The master bedroom at the end of the hall was the largest of the three.  I walked into the master bedroom and found the king sized bed swallowed by the vastness of the room. 

The room had to be around forty feet by fifty or so.  There was enough room for a sitting area, the bed, an armoire, two night tables, and room to spare.  The room featured a big walk-in closet that was separated for his and hers. 

The bathroom was spacious with a separate toilet area, shower stall big enough for at least four people, and a giant whirlpool tub, with his and her sinks.  A closet behind the door had room for a bunch of towels, toiletries, and whatever else you could think to hold in a bathroom closet.

I walked out of the bedroom and looked around the rest of the house.  The kitchen was big with brushed stainless steel appliances that looked like they’d never been used.  A window looked out to the backyard.  There was a small gazebo thing with a BBQ and water feature.  I wondered where the guest house was.  I went to find Sandra and found her in the living room with Mark. 

“Hey, Sandra,” I said as I walked into the room.  She looked up and smiled.  At least someone was happy to see me.  I had been sort of stand-offish with the guys since we talked. 

“Katja, how do you like the house?” Mark asked as ran his hand along her hair and down her back.  My heart felt like it was had been pierced with a stake and was bleeding out when I saw the tenderness in his eyes as he twirled his fingers in her hair.

I turned my eyes away and said, “I like it.  It’s beautiful.  I did have a question.  Where is the guest house?”

“Oh.  About a quarter mile past the house.  If you take the splinter driveway, it’s down the road and in a cleared field.  Would like to see it?”  I nodded. 

When she got up I shook my head.  “I’ll find it Sandra.  You…uh…just stay here.”  I turned quickly and left the room.

I walked outside and followed the splinter driveway to the guest house which was more of a cottage.  It was white with turquoise blue trim and faux shutters on the sides of the windows.  I walked into the house.

The foyer led into the great room.  A living room slash dining room.  To the right was the kitchen and to the left were the three bedrooms.  I checked out the bedrooms.  They were decent sized with plenty of space.  Not as big as the master bedroom in the big house but about the size of the guest rooms in the big house.

I walked around a little while longer and found myself in the backyard.  The house was surrounded by trees about fifty feet back with a manicured lawn that came up to the porch.  There was a nice, small, garden to the left of the porch with box flowers on the railing. 

I wondered if I should stay here and let everyone have the big house.  It would be nicer to be away from everyone.  I heard someone come up behind me.  I tensed as I turned to see who it was.  Todd.  I muffled a sigh and threw on a smile that didn’t reach my eyes.

“How do you like it, Kat?”  He stayed a few feet away from me. 

“I like it.  The two houses are beautiful.”  I turned back to look at the little garden.  The flowers were in hibernation or whatever flowers do when winter comes.

“Kat,” Todd said as he put his hands on my shoulders.  I cringed but didn’t shrug him off.  “Why don’t we stay here tonight?  Just you and me?”  I stepped out from under his hands and looked at him.  I thought it was a wonderful idea but…and there’s always a ‘but’ with me.

“Where would the others be?  There aren’t enough rooms at the big house to accommodate them.  If you just want us to be here, alone, they need somewhere to stay, right?”  He nodded and frowned as he thought up something, I was sure he’d figure something out.

His eyes brightened.  “I have a crazy idea.  Why don’t we just lock the doors and if someone comes to check on us, we hide and don’t answer the door.” 

I chuckled and rolled my eyes.  “Okay.  Let’s christen this place.”  He grabbed me around the waist and held me tight.  I wrapped my arms around his neck as he walked us into the house.  He kicked the door shut and carried me into the bedroom.  He set me down.  The room was thrown into shadow as he shut the blinds.

“Come here, Kat.”  He waved me over to where he was standing.  He had the blinds pulled back.  I looked out and saw birds in a birdbath.  They were flicking water over their pudgy bodies.  Todd slung his arm around my shoulders as we watched the birds.  It was calming to watch them.  They flew away one by one and left the pool of water peaceful. 

Todd turned to me and took me into his arms.  “I love you, Kat.”  I nodded against him.  Why can’t I say the same words?  I did love him but it felt weird to say those same words out loud.  His mouth found mine and we kissed gently, our lips barely touching.

He twirled me around in his arms and danced to unheard music.  This was exactly how we used to be when we were married before we got too busy to deal with being married.  He held my hand against his heart and we moved slowly without regard for foolishness.  His head rested on mine, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me close.

He dipped me back and kissed me lightly on the cheek.  He lifted me upright once more and continued to dance with me.  The memories flowed through me of times before, dancing to unheard music, spending our time together.  “I’ve missed this,” I whispered. 

“I have too, babe,” he said as he spun me around.  He pulled me back softly and cuddled me.  “I love you, Kat.  Right this moment I am the happiest man alive.”  He kissed me deeply and ran his hands down my back.  I nuzzled his shoulder when we separated.  “Can’t you say the words back?” 

I gulped and said, “I can.  They just sound so silly coming from me.”  He chuckled. 

He leaned down and nuzzled my neck.  I whispered the words against his neck, quietly.  He sighed and his breath rumbled against my chest.  He kissed my neck before letting me go.  He kept his arms around me.  His eyes glowed as he looked at me.  “See?  Silly, right?” 

“No, Kat.  Not silly.  I can’t believe we divorced because our lives were so full of everything else and now that our lives are constantly in danger we have time to be together.”  He beamed at me as he twirled me around the room.  My head was spinning when he stopped.  I tripped over my feet when I tried to walk.  He chuckled as he grabbed my arm.

I frowned.  My thoughts went to the others.  I’d never said those words to them either.  I knew that I loved Erick and Trace.  Sven on the other hand was another thought altogether.  “Don’t think about them right now, Kat.  They know what we’re doing.  They actually…”  He stopped and rephrased.  “Erick and Trace actually encouraged me to have my time with you.  Sven, he bowed quietly but wouldn’t say anything.  I think it had more to do with me being his king than anything else.  He knows that if I gave him a direct order he’d have to leave.” 

I thought about getting angry at his words but I didn’t.  He was king.  Even I followed his orders, that is, with a wink and a nod.  I didn’t follow anyone’s orders except my own and Todd knew that.  “Aren’t you going to get angry with me?”

“No, Todd.  I thought about it but then I realized that as hard as this is to admit, you are my king as well.”  I made a face as I said the last words. 

He frowned.  “If I’m your king then you’re my queen.”

“A queen doesn’t put her life in jeopardy every chance she gets, Todd.”  I sat in the chair by the bed and threw my legs up on the mattress. 

“Even if you put your life on the line, Kat, you are my queen.  I just wish you wouldn’t have to, that’s all.”  He sat on the bed near my feet and stared at the wall. 

“I don’t know how to be both, Todd.  I’m just getting used to Katja the killer.  Now I have to get used to being queen?”

“Just be who you are, Kat.  You’ll end up hating me if you do anything else.” 

I tried to argue but I knew in my heart and brain that that’s exactly what would happen.  “I know.  So, can you deal with me being Katja the killer over being just your queen?”  I smiled to hide the grimace.

“I don’t know but I’ll try my damnedest though.”  He ran his hand along my feet and shins.  I moved my feet and stood up.  “At least you’re going to try, I suppose.”  He wrapped his arms around me but let me go after the hug.  “We should leave.  I know I had said that I wanted to stay here for the night but I’ve been thinking that it’s better if we see how the other vampire is doing.”  Thorn.  I groaned.  I didn’t want to deal with the smitten vampire.  I had enough to deal with.

Todd slung his arm around my shoulders and whispered, “It’ll be okay.  I’ll protect you from the big bad vampire.”  I chuckled and we headed back to the big house. 

><                            ><

We entered through the double doors and found Thorn and Beatrice sitting in the kitchen.  I stopped the groan that slid from my lips before it became loud enough to draw attention.  Thorn heard it and hid a small smile.

Beatrice gave me a death look and cuddled closer to Thorn.  I pasted a business smile on my face and walked into the kitchen with Todd’s arm still around my shoulders.  He pulled me closer and gave me a kiss on the cheek. 

Beatrice sucked in a breath and tried to draw Thorn’s attention from me and Todd.  I heard her whisper his name.  Thorn tilted his head in her direction but kept his eyes on me.  I sighed and shrugged off Todd’s arm.  I gave him a look I hoped he’d understand which said, I have to deal with this.  Todd nodded.

“Thorn?”  He stood up and knelt in front of me.  Oh, geez. 

“Yes, my queen?” 

I clenched my teeth tight for a moment and then tried to relax.  I changed my mind a half dozen times in that moment.  Did I talk with him or did I leave him be?  Both, neither, I couldn’t decide.  “Thorn, we need to talk.”  He looked up from his knelt position and waited for me to speak.  “Uh, can you get off the ground, please?”

“As my queen wishes.”  He stayed in front of me on one knee.  I stifled the sigh that wanted to escape. 

“First, I’m just Katja or Kat.  I haven’t been ‘officially’ made queen.  Second, why are you still focusing on me?  Shouldn’t you be paying attention to Beatrice?  She’s a beautiful girl, woman,” I said quickly as she gave me angry eyes at the word girl.  “She’s beautiful, nice, and she really likes you.” 

“She’s all that but she’s not you, my queen.”  I suppose I asked for that. 

Beatrice stood up, looked at us with tears in her eyes, and ran out of the room, crying.  I let my shoulders sag and walked away from Thorn.  Todd held his hand out to me and I grabbed it gratefully.

I turned on Thorn who was still kneeling.  “Thorn, stand up.”  He did.  “Why would you be so mean to Beatrice?  She really does like you.  I’ve given you nothing, yet you seem willing to drop Sven and Beatrice for a single chance at me.  Why is that?”

“May I speak freely?”  I let my mouth drop open for a moment before closing it and nodded.  “I hope that you will take me to your bed as you did Sven.  Beatrice is nice and wonderful and she gives her life blood freely and for that I am forever grateful to her but to have one chance to be with our queen, if only for one night, would be worth a thousand broken hearts.”

I frowned.  Todd saved me from answering.  “Thorn, you will not have the chance.  You should forget all about Kat and move on.  Sven was given the opportunity to join Kat and us because she chose to allow him.” 

“I can’t move on, my king,” Thorn said but stopped.  I looked at Todd.  He was glaring at Thorn.  I heaved another sigh. 

“Here’s what I think.”  They looked at me.  “Thorn, you say you want me, right?”  He nodded.  “For how long?  Are you willing to commit for a lifetime?  Or for a day?”  I felt Todd stiffen beside me.  I patted his hand and waited for Thorn to answer. 

He looked at both of us and said, “I would commit for as long as my queen and king wish it.”

“That’s not a real answer.  Sven has decided how long he will commit to this.  You have to, too.” 

He tried to hide the grimace but failed.  “I can’t answer that.  I can only say that I would commit for as long as you wish.”

“Why don’t you go see how Beatrice is doing?”  He nodded, bowed, and left the kitchen.  I grimaced as I thought about his answer. 

Todd tugged on me and led me back to the guest cottage. He turned on Sandra’s CD player and turned the music up loud enough for us to have to shout.  When he leaned into me it wasn’t a shout but a whisper.  “Why would you ask Thorn anything like that?”

“Because I want both of you, that is you and Thorn, to know that he isn’t serious.  I could tell that right off.  He isn’t like Sven.  Thorn only wants a piece of me because, one, I reject him every chance I get, and two, I think he wants to be with Sven but doesn’t know how to tell Sven that,” I whispered back.