Deceptions (68 page)

Penny's box, long and narrow, held a silver pen and pencil set engraved with the letters S A. A small note beneath them read, 'For writing letters.'

The best extortionists, Sabrina thought, are children. She picked up the house phone. 'I'll have lunch in my room, Mrs Thirkell.' Carrying her presents, she climbed the stairs. Rain drummed against the windows, and her room was dark and chilly. She ht a fire, curling up before it on the chaise with an angora afghan over her lap, and looked at the enameled

birds and the pen and pencil set and at the bright, dancing flames.

She should be packing for Athens, but, instead, she sat still, seeing in the flames all the dreams that haunted her days and nights.

They had been so careless, she and her sister, so incredibly careless of others. But what if it had ended differently; what if, somehow, there had been a way for her to love Garth and receive his love without guilt, a way to live with him and build a life with him? We could have had a child, she thought. A surprise for Penny and Cliff. A small smile curved the comers of her mouth as she pictured the two of them tossing a coin to see who got to feed the baby.

She could have gone into partnership with Madehne. decorating and restoring old buildings, while Linda handled estate sales. What a team the three of them would have made, especially if they joined Collectibles to Ambassadors and had the best art and antiques of two continents to choose from.

She and Garth would have the money from her sale of the Cadogan Square house and she would lure Mrs Thirkell to America. Then they could travel - to London, to Paris, where Gaby and Brooks would be living part of the time; even to Rio, to see Alexandra and finally meet some Guarani Indians. They could combine the whirl of her London social life with the home and community life she loved in Evanston. They could afford it all. They could even fix up the house. At least, they could finally paint the bedrooms. And she could buy Garth the leather jacket he'd been eyeing at Mark Shale one day when they were browsing together.

Jacket. Packing. She had to get ready. Taking her small suitcase and makeup case from the closet, she began to look through her clothes to choose what she would pack for Athens. But each dress meant gaiety and people, laughter and lights, and as she ran her fingers across them she knew she could not do it. Not yet; not when Garth was still a part of her, so real she felt she could reach out and touch his face and put her lips to his; so much a part of her deepest self that all she longed for was to tell him she loved him and wanted

to be with him for the rest of her life - only him, no one else.

She called Dmitri and told him she could not go. Perhaps another time; perhaps they had a future. She did not know. It was not fair; she heard the disappointment in his voice and knew it was not fair. Whatever ^e did caused pain. Perhaps she would just sit in her room, alone, and eventually fade away. Then they would both be gone. Sabrina and Stephanie Hartwell: grew up together; later traded places; still later, disappeared.

She poked the fire, putting on another log. and went back to the chaise, the afghan on her lap. Her dreams were still there, in the flames, brighter than ever. They don't go away, she thought; they don't even fade. The days and weeks pass, the telephone rings and presents come from two loving children; the days go by and people come and go in our lives, and the dreams remain, vivid and alive.

She heard Mrs Thirkell climbing the stairs. Lunchtime, she thought. Then I'll do some work; I brought so much with me fi-om Ambassadors - catalogues to read, books to study, letters to answer. Enough work to fill all the holidays. If I concentrate, I can forget everything else, at least for a while.

Mrs Thirkell knocked and appeared in the doorway, breathless, red-faced and beaming. 'My lady, there's a visitor to see—'

But before she could finish, following closely behind and overtaking her. Garth strode into the room, his face alight with love.

With a cry, Sabrina leaped up, but Garth had stopped, hesitant and watchful halfway across the room, the memory of their violent words echoing between them. Sabrina held out her hands, her voice barely a whisper. 'I dreamed of you ... all the time ... '

As if her words had released him he was suddenly beside her, catching her up, enfolding her tightly in his arms, her cheek against his heart. Dimly, she heard Mrs Thirkell leave the room, and then she heard only Garth's wild heanbeat and his voice, murmuring as his lips moved against her hair.

'My love, my dearest love, all the empty days without you—*

She stirred within his arms, turning up her face, and her mouth met his. Through closed eyes she saw the orange glow from the fireplace; she smelled the damp wool of his coat and felt with her fingertips the raindrops clinging to his hair. These are real; no longer a dream; not ever again. Garth felt her slender bones beneath his hands and breathed the silken fragrance that had haunted him for weeks. In the deepest part of him he felt his aching restlessness subside; he had come home.

'Yes,' she breathed, as if he had spoken, and opened her tyes to meet his, dark and intense. 'A place to belong...'

But not yet. We haven't ... She put her hands on his chest, between them. 'Garth, we haven't talked ... so much is unfinished... *

'No, my love.' He kissed her eyes, her mouth, the hollow of her thuroat. 'Not unfinished. Begun. And not with lies; with the truths you've told.'

'Truth! 1 deceived you—'

'Shamefully. But did you deceive me in the way you felt about Penny and Cliff? Or me? Or our life together?'

She shook her head. 'But beneath it all—'

'Beneath it all was love. Dear one, you made a marriage, you made us a family, and that is the truth you gave us. Except—' He laughed slightly. 'It is not quite the truth. My dearest love, I want to many you, I want to take you home,

to make the past and the present one life, our life together

»

She took his face between her hands and searched his eyes for traces of the bitterness and hurt of their last meeting. But they were gone; he had resolved them, and there was only the warm caress of the times they had loved without restraint. She kissed him then, a long, slow kiss, pledging her heart and hand and love. Garth's arm tightened around her; his hand held her breast. 'Dear heart—' she said, a low sigh deep in her throat, and her body curved to his as if already taking him inside her. Together, they turned to the bed.

'Oh ... wait.' She held him back. 'We forgot... What did you tell Penny and Cliff?'

Garth looked at her radiant face* her eyes bright with anticipation, and knew they mirrored his own. All the dreams were coming together at once. 'That I would try to bring you home/ he said.

'Are they at Vivian's?'

He nodded, his love for her so powerful it made him tremble, stopping the words in his throat.

She picked up the telephone and dialed and when Vivian answered, she settled back in the curve of Garth's arm. 'Vivian,' she said, 'it's Stephanie. Could 1 talk to my children, to tell them I'm coming home?'