Deceptions (59 page)

'That is what I'm telling you. Years ago, Lazlo spent some time on the Lafitte as Stuyvesant's secretary and also doing a little smuggling for him, making deliveries along the Italian Riviera.*

A boat, Sabrina remembered, near dawn, when she had gone on deck for some air and to get away from Denton. Ivan Lazlo in a motorboat, helped on board by a crew member, disappearing down the stairs to the crew's quarters without seeing her.

'So,' Jolie went on, 'he knew some of the crew members still there from those days, and he went aboard to see them in the Monte Carlo harbor. At some time while he was there he put a bomb in the stateroom. It went off too soon, he had not set it properly, which is why the boat was only two miles out and the French divers were able to raise it so quickly.

Otherwise, we might never have known it was not an accident/

'They killed all those people—'

*They didn't care. They wanted it to look like an accident.' There was a pause. 'Stephanie, does this make you feel better or worse?'

•A little of each.'

*I thought it might. They were an unpleasant bunch, but Stuyvesant had great charm and knew the art world better than anyone. He and Sabrina had known each other for years; she decorated his London house; and we think she may have gone on the cruise on legitimate business, perhaps to buy for her gallery. He had been at Chilton and all the major fail auctions; he would have had a good selection for her to choose from. Honestly come by.'

She is defending Sabrina Longworth to her American sister, thought Sabrina. Explaining her presence on that yacht. 'Thankyou,' she said. 'I'm grateful for that.'

Jolie talked on, mentioning casually that Sabrina's little friend Gabrielle had been seen several times at dinner with Brooks Westermarck; Sabrina was grateful for that, too. Life goes on, Jolie was saying, and yours will, too. 'Goodbye, then,'Jolie said.

'Thank you,' said Sabrina. 'And thank Michel.*

'Oh, Michel I shall strike on the rump for being so abrupt with you.'

A small laugh broke from Sabrina. Those two, she thought affectionately, as she used to think when she was Sabrina and lived in London. She wondered if the three of them could be as close now that she was Stephanie as they had been when she was Sabrina.

The pile of envelopes lay on the bed beside her. Tomorrow she would give it to Linda. And that would mean there was nothing left for her to do. There was not even an obstacle to her returning to London anymore: the forgery story was public and Ambassadors was not part of it; she needn't fear damage to its reputation or to Sabrina's memory. Nor was she in any personal danger; in fact, she never had been.

Nothing was left for her to do; there was no longer any reason for her to stay.

*Mom? Is everything all right?'

She steadied her voice. *Yes, Cliff. Everything is all right.'

'Could we have a quick game of Monopoly then?'

'There is no such thing as a quick game of Monopoly. That's a ploy to stay up until midnight. How about Scrabble?'

'Sure. Are you coming now?*

'Right away.'

No reason for her to stay. She sat on the bed and felt time slow down, everything slow down, coming gradually to an end. Around her, every object was clear and sharp; ordinary pieces of furniture seemed to glow and bum themselves into her memory, joining the pictures from Thanksgiving. One last chance to memorize them so that when she closed her eyes she could see them still and know she would for a long time to come. In three days, on Monday, she would leave. First to New York with Garth and then, alone, to London. Stephanie Andersen going home to Sabrina Longworth's life.

We'll always be here. Garth had said; an unfinished story.

The one part of Stephanie's life, and my life, that I cannot Gnish, ^

Two half-finished lives. Garth had said.

Yes. But still better than wounding you with the truth. Or living a lie with you, founded on my sistefs death.

'Mom!'

Don't think about it. Enjoy these last few days, 'Yes, Qiff,* she said, and went downstairs.

Later Sabrina would remember those three days as a haze of voices and gestures. She would try to recall single moments, but they slipped from her. All she had was the blurred memory of a time when her feelings swung wildly from piercing happiness to dark despair, and the hours escaped her as she tried to hold them back.

On Friday night Lloyd Strauss hosted a dinner for university trustees, faculty members and scientists from around the country. Penny and Cliff were there, sitting near the front,

awed by the talk about their father and the glowing elegance of their mother in an antique gold full-skirted dress with a matching short embroidered jacket. The room was brightly lit and crowded. 'Lloyd's apology/ Garth said, amused but touched. 'For our investigative friend.*

Watching, saying little, Sabrina let the evening cany her along, loving Garth for his quiet acceptance of praise from scientists older and more famous than he and congratulations from trustees and faculty members. After diimer, sitting at the head table, she listened to the president describe Garth's background - telling her much she never knew about him - and then make the formal announcement of his appointment as director of the new Genetics Institute.

Keeping her face serene through the applause and flashes from reporters' cameras, Sabrina thought, I helped this happen. It all may have happened without me, but 1 helped. He will always have that to remember.

Beside her. Garth stood and made a brief speech on his goals for the Institute and its staff and thanked those who were helping make it a reality. 'But in my smaller, personal sphere,' he added, 'I want to thank two people who helped me reach this night. Lloyd Strauss, who has balanced friendship and his responsibility to the university as few others could, and my wife, who has never failed me in love and encouragement and in challenging me to look as far and as high as possible without losing sight of the wonders of our family and our life together.' He looked down at Sabrina's shining eyes. 'Stephanie Andersen.'

Everyone stood, applauding, as Garth sat down and took Sabrina's hand. 'Who is also,' he added to her alone, beneath the applause, 'the most desirable woman I have ever known, and whom I would much rather be in bed with than in this large and very public room.*

She laughed, buoyant with joy and love. 'Soon,' she promised. 'As soon as I can seduce you from all your other admirers.' Nothing was real but Garth's eyes on hers, his hand holding hers, his lips lightly on hers before the university president took him away to talk to a local

businessman who wanted to contribute to the Institute building fund.

That was all she remembered of that night, though she talked to dozens of people, and later, when the children were in bed, she and Garth made love. They made love as they had learned to in these last weeks; slowly, leisurely, as if all the time in the world was theirs, savouring each urgent moment as they came wondrously alive, still exploring, still learning what they could give and share and take from each other.

But she only remembered the rightness of it, the sense of completeness, not the individual moments when they filled each other's vision and nothing else mattered. Those moments were blurred, part of the darkness of the night and the glaring brightness of the morning when Penny and Chff woke them with a reminder of the weekend's plans.

Tou didn't forget! We're going cross-countiy skiing at the Goldners'!'

'There is a difference,' Garth said sternly from his pillow, his hand, beneath the covers, on Sabrina's breast, 'between forgetting and beginning one's weekend at a civilized hour.' But, urged on by the children, they bestirred themselves, and within a short time were on their way to Michigan.

Dolores and Nat had been inviting them to their country house at Lakeside in the dunes since Tlianksgiving. When the time came, Sabrina had not wanted to go. / want it to be just the four of us; iVs the last weekend we'll ever have together. But she could not say that, and Penny and Chff were so excited that she gave in.

The weekend was as blurred as the rest of those last few days. Her memory could recapture the whiteness: snow-covered dunes against a pale sky, the lake shining like pewter under the slanting rays of the sun, the white shadows of their ski tracks snaking up and down the low slopes. She could recall Garth's face close to hers when the children had pulled ahead and they were alone, her mouth opening beneath his and his whispered 'I love you' before Nat and Dolores caught up to them. She remembered a lazy dirmer before the Goldners' huge fireplace and quiet talk late into the night, the four of them watching the flames die to glowing, shinmiering coals. And she could remember the freezing

bedroom where she and Garth undressed quickly and slipped into the icy bed, shivering, until the two of them, clasped in each other's arms, grew warm, and, almost without moving. Garth was inside her.

But that was all, except for the sharp pain of happiness and the dull despair that lay just beneath it

Early Monday morning, they packed for the New York trip and said goodbye to Penny and Cliff at breakfast. 'Don't forget,' Sabrina said. 'After school you go to the Goodmans' house.'

•Mom,' said Cliff, 'you've told us that fifty times. That's what we did when you went to Connecticut, so how come you think we'll forget?'

'I don't like the idea of your coming home to an empty house.'

'We won't, I told you. We're not babies.'

'I know.' She smoothed Penny's curls and straightened the strap of her jumper. 'It's just tfiat I'm going to miss you—' Her voice broke, and she turned abruptly away.

'Mom?' Cliff was alarmed; she could hear it in his voice as Garth came into the kitchen.

'Something wrong?' he asked.

*I think Mom's sick.'

Garth moved quickly toward her, but Sabrina stood up before he reached her. 'Small upset stomach,' she said lightly. 'Nothing that breakfast won't cure.'

He studied her face. 'Nothing else?'

'Nothing else.'

They bustled about. 'You'll remember—*

'—to go to the Goodmans',' Cliff and Penny said together, and they all laughed.

'Mom,' said Cliff, 'could you get me a suit of armor in England?'

'A suit of—Cliff, do you know what they weigh?*

'No, how much?'

'Over a hundred pounds. Knights had to be lifted onto their horses with a crane.'

'How come the horse didn't fall down under them?* Penny asked.

'That would have been a knightmare/ said Cliff and collapsed, laughing, on the floor.

'Not bad/ said Garth, chuckling. 'Now get yourself together before you're late for school. And we have a plane to catch, Stephanie. Are you almost ready?'

'Yes. Just these dishes—'

Garth was upstairs and Penny and Cliff were in their coats when she found them at the living room door. Penny gripped her with both arms. 'Don't stay in England long.* She dropped her voice to a whisper. 'Daddy said not to nag you, there are things you have to do, but you have things here, too. You won't stay long, will you?'

Sabrina kissed Penny's smooth cheek and held her close. *I don't want to. I don't want to leave you at all. I love you, my Penny. Don't ever forget that. I love you and I'm proud of you. You are my very special girl.'

'Mom,' Cliff said. 'We're late. Can I kiss you goodbye?*

She tried to let Penny go, but her arms would not move. Don't go, Tlease don't go.

'Mommy, don't cry,' said Penny. Her hand began to pat Sabrina's shoulder. 'You'll be back soon. Don't ciy.*

'I didn't mean to. I guess trips sometimes do that to people. Your turn. Cliff.'

He gave her a quick hug. 'If you can't bring me some armor, could you get me a swoiS like King Arthur's?'

She laughed shakily. 'I'll find you something. Does it have to be destructive?'

'Well, since I'm reading about King Arthur ... *

'I'll see what I can do. Cliff, take... takecareof Penny and yourself, will you?'

'Sure. I always do. You'll bring her something, too, won't you?'

'I'll send presents as soon as I get there. How will that be?'

'Okay. 'Bye, Mom. Have a good trip.' He kissed her cheek. Sabrina put her arms around him and kissed him on both cheeks. 'The French do it that way,' he said.

'I do. too,' said Sabrina, kissing him again. 'I'm going to miss you, my star soccer-player. Especially your awful puns. And your dear face and smile—*

'Come on. Mom!'

*Sorry,' she said, wiping her eyes. *I didn't mean to start up again. Off with you now, or you really will be late. Have a good time at the Goodmans' and give my love to Vivian.'

They ran down the walk. Sabrina watched them. At the comer they turned and waved. She raised her arm and waved back and watched them disappear through the mist of tears in her eyes.

Chapter 20

The streets of New York were slick with rain. Lunchtime crowds scurried under black umbrellas that bobbed and bumped against each other like an awning whipped by the wind. Young boys and old men sat in doorways selling umbrellas for those who had left home unprepared, and messengers on bicycles were almost hidden in ballooning yellow slickers that dripped rain onto the puddles in the street.

Sitting in the taxicab with Garth, Sabrina thought of winter tears, cold and gray, dropping from the dark clouds that had settled on the tops of skyscrapers. Windows shone as if it were night. In front of every hotel a doorman raised his arm, as if saluting a parade, and blew his whistle to stop a cab in flight, but none stopped; they all had passengers.

'Don't matter, though,' their driver grumbled as they sat in the middle of a crosstown street, immobilized by a mass of traffic. 'Sun shines, nobody rides. It rains, everybody rides, but nobody moves.'

'Shall we buy an umbrella and walk?' Garth asked Sabrina.

'Helluva long walk, mister,' the driver answered.

*I know. I used to teach there.'

'You hold on and keep dry. We get to the comer we're all right. Uptown is faster than crosstown.'

'I know.'

'Right. You useta teach there. My kid teaches third grade. She likes it, but she don't make much.'

Garth looked at Sabrina, but she was gazing out the window on her side. She had barely spoken since they had left home. On the plane, he had asked what she would like to do in New York, but she had answered briefly and absently, and he knew she was barely aware of him. Thinking of London, of her sister's life. Of adopting that life? He had no idea and would not ask her. If it came to that, he would find her wherever she was and try to bring her back, but he would not anticipate a crisis where, so far, none existed. If the bond with her sister was so strong it withstood death, he would not try to break it, even if he thought he could, unless he saw it destroying his marriage.

'Have you bought your ticket?* he asked as lunch was being served, and she looked surprised.

'No. I've... been so busy. I will in New York.*

When they reached the Plaza, Garth watched her face. 'Oh,' she said. 'I didn't know, you didn't tell me—'

'We had a very special night here about six weeks ago. I liked the idea of coming back.'

'Yes.' She looked at him, her tyes so lonely he cried out.

'My love, what is it?'

He watched the effort she made to push her thoughts aside, and he marveled at her strength, even more because at other times he had seen it fail her. She took his arm as the bellhop unlocked the door of their room. 'What are you going to do now?' she asked.

'You and I are going for a quick visit to Columbia. I want to poke my nose into my first lab and have a moment of nostalgia. For both of us.' When she made no response, he said, 'Do you want to unpack? Hang some things in the closet?'

•Not now.*

Garth surveyed the room. 'Not the suite the Kallens provided, but it will do very well. I'm looking forward to crushing chocolates on the pillow again.'

'And losing one on the floor,' she murmured, remembering with a small smile. 'Shall we go?'