Death of a Waterfall (The Hayden Falls Saga) (28 page)

Teghan moved her hips back and forth then in a circular motion, causing Donnie to grip her tighter as he swelled inside of her. She knew he was going to come and she wanted him to. Moments later he did, his hot seed filled her and she collapsed on top of him. Her face was buried in his neck, their sweaty bodies entwined, neither of them made any attempt to move. "I love you," she whispered.

Donnie hugged her to him making it so she couldn't move even if she wanted to. "I love you too, Teghan. I love you so much."

And that's when she felt the first tear fall. The gravity of what they'd just done settled on her like a ton of bricks. They had unprotected sex. The possibility that she could get pregnant again was forefront in her mind. So was the thought that if she did, her father would… She couldn't stop the sob that escaped.

"Hey." Donnie lifted her head so that she had no choice but to look at him. "Why are you crying?"

The concern in his eyes, the uncertainty in his voice, that only made her cry harder. She shook her head, got up, and grabbed her panties, tugging them on. "I'm sorry. I just…we shouldn't…" Teghan plopped down on the edge of the bed, covered her face with her hands, and cried.
Good god, what the hell is wrong with me?

Donnie sat beside her and rubbed her back. "Talk to me, Teghan. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know. That's the problem." She wiped her face and looked at him. "It's been like this ever since…" Saying the words was impossible, and from the look on Donnie's face, she knew she didn't have to. "One minute I think I'm doing okay and the next I'm losing it. We just did that without a condom." Her voice had lowered to a whisper. "What if…? I can't go through that again, Donnie."

He took her face into his hands. "I promise you, you will never have to go through something like that again. I will make sure of it."

She simply nodded even though she didn't believe him. "I think I'm just going to go home. I want to be alone."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Teghan. Besides, you've been drinking. You're in no shape to drive."

Shit. He was right. There was no way she could drive. She had no idea if any of her friends were sober enough to drive either. Double shit. More tears trickled down her face and she let them.

"Just stay here with me tonight. Please?"

"Okay." She didn't really want to, but it was the only choice she had.

"We'll just sleep, I promise." He smiled.

Teghan nodded and lay down in bed with him. She had her back to him, not wanting him to see her still crying. He draped his arm around her and pulled her tight to him. She sighed and closed her eyes, knowing if she was lucky enough to fall asleep, it wouldn't be peaceful.

~ * ~

"No! Stop! Please, Daddy, don't…nooo…" she wailed.

Donnie jolted awake at the sound of Teghan's cries. She appeared to be sound asleep, yet she was crying and pleading for it to stop, calling out for her father. That pissed him off. "Teghan." He shook her gently. "Teghan, babe, wake up, it's just a dream."

She yanked away from him. "No."

"Teghan," he said a little louder and shaking her a little harder. "Wake up, babe. You're dreaming."

"Huh?" Her eyes opened and he was taken aback by how bloodshot they were and how tired she looked.

"You were having a nightmare," he repeated.

"Oh." She rubbed her eyes and sat up. "Yeah, I've been having a lot of those lately."

"You have?" Why hadn't she told him? "How long have you been having them?"

She shrugged. "Since that night. Half the time I don't know if they're dreams or memories."

Donnie hugged her and kissed the top of her head. He had no idea she'd been going through all of this, or just how much it had been affecting her. God, how could he be so clueless? "You don't have to go through this alone, you know."

"I know you want to help, but there's nothing you can do when it's all in my head." Teghan pulled out of his embrace and got out of bed. She gathered her clothes and put them on.

"Maybe you should try talking to someone," he suggested.

"I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I just want it to go away and with time, I'm sure it will." She turned to face him. "I'm sorry I freaked out last night."

"Don't apologize." He gave her a soft kiss. "I take it you're leaving?"

She nodded. "I want to go home and shower, and I'm sure Annabelle will start to worry if I don't show up soon."

"Okay, I'll walk you to your car." Donnie got out of bed and put on a pair of jeans and his sneakers. He put his hand on the small of Teghan's back and walked silently to her car. He hated that she was leaving. Honestly, he was worried about what she might do if left alone too long. It was obvious that she wasn't handling things very well. Not that he could blame her, but he was determined to do something to help her, something to make her pain go away.

Teghan kissed his cheek. "I'll call you later."

"You better," he said with a wink. Once her car disappeared from his view, he went back to his room and searched for his cell phone. He had to do something for Teghan, or he knew he would end up losing her. And he knew exactly what to do and where to start. He flipped open his phone and dialed. Donnie clenched and unclenched his hand in an attempt to remain calm as he waited for an answer. He blew out a breath when he heard the gruff hello at the other end. "Hello, Mr. Jacobs," Donnie said coolly.

Chapter Twenty-three

Teghan sat on her bed cross legged, radio playing loudly, the window wide open, the noise from outside filtering into her room muting her own thoughts. It had been a little over a week since the frat party. That had been the last night she'd spent with all of her friends. Being surrounded by a group of people who were constantly asking if she was okay was grating on her nerves. She just couldn't handle it anymore. So, instead, she'd been declining their invitations to hang out and she would go out alone, finding people who didn't know her, people who were only concerned with having a good time. Teghan would get drunk, and if it was a good night she'd score some weed too. She took a drink from the bottle of liquor she'd stolen from her father's den before she'd left. It was the good stuff. Expensive. Like her father would drink anything else. She snorted and took another swig.

"Are you drunk?" Annabelle asked as she walked into the room.

"Yes, I think I am," Teghan said with a silly grin. "Want some?" She held out the bottle. Okay, so she was far from being drunk, but that really wasn't any of Annabelle's business. The liquor tasted horrible to her, but it helped to take the edge off.

"It's three o'clock in the afternoon, Teghan. Did you even go to any of your classes today?"

"Nope." She chugged from the bottle of liquor and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"What the hell is going on with you? You missed the start of the semester because you were sick and now that you're back, you've been acting different. You barely go to classes, you're drinking all the time, and you're hanging out with an entirely new group of people that you used to hate." Annabelle propped her hands on her hips and glared at Teghan.

"Don't forget about this." Teghan lifted her shirt and revealed a navel piercing. She'd gotten it two nights ago. She'd been driving around aimlessly, trying to figure out what she was going to do with her life, when she passed a piercing/tattoo shop. On a whim, she stopped, went inside, and told them to pierce something, anything, she didn't care. The guy suggested her belly button and she'd gone with it. It had hurt like a motherfucker, but the physical pain had made all her other pain go away--for a little while anyway.

"Are you kidding me, Teeg? A belly ring? Next thing I know you'll be getting a tramp stamp."

"You know, that's not a bad idea."

"Oh, for crying out loud, you can't be serious."

"You sound like my mother. Lighten up." Although that wasn't entirely true. Teghan hadn't spoken to her mother since she left their house, but she guessed if her mom actually cared, that's what she'd sound like. Of course her mom would have to call her first and Mommy Dearest hadn't. Teghan guessed that had a lot to do with Rob. She could only imagine the lies Rob was telling her mother.

Annabelle grabbed the bottle from Teghan. "It's like I don't even know you anymore."

Good god, Annabelle could be a downer at times. She was always such a good girl, so smart and level-headed. It annoyed the crap out of Teghan.

"What about Donnie?"

"What about him?" Teghan asked. She talked to him daily, but she hadn't seen him since the night she'd freaked out after they'd had sex. Every time he tried to make plans to see her, she'd give him an excuse. Some of them were pretty lame, and the fact that he bought them kind of pissed her off. She was starting to believe that maybe Donnie did blame her for losing the baby. Oh well. She carried enough blame and guilt for the both of them.

"You've been acting crazy ever since you came back from your parent's house. Are you sure you're over whatever it was you had?"

Yeah, right. Like she could ever get over it. "I'm fine. Now, can I please have my drink back?"

"No, and if you don't tell me what's going on with you right now, I'm going to turn you in to the RA for having alcohol in the dorm. Then I'm going to call your father," Annabelle threatened.

Teghan snorted. "Like he'd care."

"Goddammit! What is the matter with you?"

"You wanna know what's wrong with me?" Teghan shouted and stood from her bed. Her foot got caught up in the blanket and she stumbled. Steadying herself, she said, "I'll tell you what's wrong. Donnie told me not to go to my dad's that night, but I didn't listen to him. Rob and I argued. I was upset and stressed out and I had a miscarriage. There. Are you happy now?" Aw, crap. She wasn't supposed to tell Annabelle. She'd promised Donnie.

"A miscarriage? You were pregnant?" Annabelle cupped her hand over her mouth and gasped. "God, Teghan, I'm so sorry, sweetie."

Teghan chewed on her bottom lip as more tears fell from her eyes. She'd cried so much since it'd happened she didn't think it was possible to cry anymore. But this time, these tears, they felt different. They felt good. It was a relief that Annabelle knew. Now Teghan had someone to talk to, someone other than Donnie, someone who wouldn't shout crazy ideas about confronting her father and making him pay. "I think Donnie blames me." It was a thought that had been on her mind since the day she'd told Donnie what happened, but this was the first time she'd said it aloud.

"I doubt that. He loves you."

"It doesn't matter. I blame myself enough for the both of us." Teghan wiped her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you."

"How?"

"I don't know." Annabelle shrugged. "I could've gone with you to your dad's or…"

"It hurts, Annie. It hurts so much I can't stand it."

Annabelle hugged Teghan. "Have you talked to anyone about this?"

"No."

"Locking yourself in this room, drinking the day away, avoiding your friends isn't helping. You need to talk to Donnie and you need to get on with your life. And you need to stop blaming yourself," Annabelle said, releasing her.

Before Teghan had a chance to respond, her cell phone rang. It was a text message from Donnie.
*meet me @ Pappys in 20 min. urgent.*
Teghan rolled her eyes. That's the last thing she wanted to do. She was physically and emotionally depleted. The only thing that appealed to her was climbing into bed, pulling the covers over her head, and forgetting the world existed.

"Who is it?" Annabelle asked.

"Donnie. He wants me to meet him at Pappy's."

"You should go, Teghan. You two need to talk. I'll drive you if you want me to."

"No, that's okay. I only had a couple swallows from that bottle. I'm fine," Teghan said, grabbing a sweater and pulling it on. "Do me a favor, Annie. Please don't tell anyone what I told you. Not even Alex."

"Sure, of course."

"Thanks." Teghan clutched her keys in her hand, smiled weakly, and left to go meet Donnie. When she got back, she was going to sit down and have a long talk with Annabelle. Teghan wanted to tell her everything. She needed to unload before she snapped and ended up in a padded cell. It was clear that she was spiraling into a black hole, and if she didn't do something soon…well, she shuddered to think what would happen to her.

~ * ~

Teghan arrived at Pappy's Pizza to find Donnie standing outside waiting for her. He didn't smile, which she thought was odd. "Hi, Donnie." There was something about his demeanor that had her on edge. He appeared nervous, tense. She suddenly wished she'd stayed in her dorm.

"Hi." He glanced around.

She slightly cocked her head and gave him a curious look. "What's wrong?" She wasn't in the mood for his games.

"I need to talk to you. Come with me," he said, taking hold of her elbow and leading her toward his car.

"Donnie. Stop. You're scaring me." She tried to yank free from his grip, but he tightened it. "Ow. You're hurting me."

"I have something for you, Teghan, something I think will help get rid of the pain you feel." He stopped and faced her, releasing his grip on her. "Please trust me."