Death by Inferior Design (43 page)

“Here,” I said, offering him my chair. “Why don’t you take this one, and—”

“You need to leave,” Laura snarled at him. “Now!”

“Take it easy, miss. I’m just minding my own business, trying to learn about table settings. If
someone
could just
get
me a
freakin
’ chair with four legs and same height, you
won’t
hear another—”

He made a broad gesture and accidentally smacked Hannah in the chest. She gasped and stepped back.

Laura cried, “That does it!” Kicking her seat aside, she grabbed the man’s arm and in one swift motion flipped him onto the floor, upsetting a display of cutlery in the process.

The store patrons gasped and shrieked. As for me, I couldn’t help but stare at the man’s hair. It had shifted. As if merely checking his skull for injuries, he grabbed his head with both hands to center his wig. He struggled to his feet, and the weapon fell from his belt. A middle-aged woman in the seat next to his cried, “Oh, my God! He’s got a pistol!”

Everyone began to clamber to their feet. Already racing for the exit, Laura whipped out her cell phone and cried over her shoulder, “I’m calling the police! I’ll be right back with them!”

Audrey’s crowd, shrieking, followed her. The man stuffed the gun into the back of his pants and shouted over the pandemonium, “Wait! It’s okay, everyone! I’m an undercover
cop
!”

The panic eased a bit.

“Ladies. Please. As an officer of the law, I have no intention of firing my gun, I assure you.” His voice was authoritative even as he made placating gestures. “If everyone could please just take their seats . . .” The patrons began to honor his request, shuffling a trifle nervously back toward the chairs. The man glanced at Audrey. “Real sorry, ma’am. I’ll get out of everyone’s hair now.” He left in the same direction that Laura had gone.

In the front of the room, Audrey rang a small brass bell. “I hope everyone enjoyed my pre-show entertainment, provided to you courtesy of the Free-for-All-Players of Piedmont, Colorado. Be sure to check your local papers for their next performance. I hear their ‘Instant Shakespeare’ is especially enjoyable. But right now it’s time to talk table settings.”

Everyone chuckled with relief and began to reclaim their seats in earnest. There was no way I could simply sit down and listen to Audrey’s presentation. Much as I wanted to believe that the wig-wearing man was truly a police officer, he hadn’t shown his badge, he’d called attention to himself despite claiming to be undercover, and he was following Laura again.

As I started to make my way toward the exit, past Hannah, she grabbed my elbow. “Are you all right, Erin?”

“Fine. But I’d better go check on my friend. Even though she’s probably already on her way back here with a uniformed officer.”

Hannah clicked her tongue and grumbled, “You obviously don’t know Laura very well. There’s no way she’s coming back, let alone with a cop.” She turned on her heel and stepped beside Audrey to introduce her to the audience.

I furrowed my brow, mouthed “Sorry,” to Audrey, and left.

I trotted in the same direction Laura had headed and circled the entire pedestrian mall twice. She had vanished. So had the “undercover cop.”

DEATH BY INFERIOR DESIGN
A Dell Book / November 2004

Published by
Bantam Dell
A Division of Random House, Inc.
New York, New York

This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places,
and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are
used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2004 by Leslie Caine

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or
by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without
the written permission of the publisher, except where permitted by law.
For information address: Dell Books, New York, New York.

Dell is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc., and the colophon
is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

eISBN : 978-0-307-42286-6

www.randomhouse.com

v1.0