Death By A HoneyBee (21 page)

  
After stuffing ourselves with Southern delicacies like country ham, corn pudding, cheese grits, and sweet potato casserole from the heavily laden buffet table, Matt and I took to the dance floor, joining others doing the American Bandstand version of the jitterbug.
 
In fact, most of the dancers were old enough to actually remember Dick Clark

hosting his show from Philadelphia.
 
I taught Matt steps that were simpler than the ones he had learned in dance school.
   

  
Matt was a wonderful dancer who made any partner look good.
 
I noticed women eyeing him with open admiration while some of the men glanced at him furtively.
  
I was proud of Matt’s stunning good looks.
 
I like beautiful things and he was beautiful.

   
“Oh, Matt,” I cooed wistfully, “if only you were straight.”

   
“Oh Josiah, if only you were a man,” replied Matt as he twirled me around the room.

   
I was exhausted after the seventh dance.
 
Matt sat me down at our table and fished out my albuterol spray as I had started to wheeze.
 
He left to get some coffee, only to come back with a soda, which he plunked on the table.
    

   
“Taffy is here,” he said, pushing the bottle with the tip of his finger towards me.
 
I grabbed the green bottle and took a big gulp.
 
“I’m going to ask you not to make a scene.”

   
“I have a great big medical bill due to Taffy,” I replied, scanning the crowded room.

   
“You have no proof that she sent those letters – just a hunch.”

   
“Then this is a perfect occasion for getting some.”
   

   
“Josiah, I have just started practicing law,” Matt said softly.
 
“I can’t afford being associated with a catfight at Spindletop.
 
Take it up with the courts and sue her.”
 

  
 
Since Matt rarely made requests of me, I grudgingly acquiesced.

   
“Good, then I can tell you that bull dyke, Nancy Wasser, is with her,” murmured Matt in my ear so bystanders could not hear him.

   
“I never thought Taffy was gay,” I said.
 

   
“She may not be, but her friend definitely is.
 
My gaydar went off the charts.”

   
“And isn’t Nancy a tad too old for her?”
                                                                                     

   
Matt shrugged noncommittally.
 
“What do people say about us?”

   
“But we’re just friends.”

   
“They don’t know that.
 
We think it’s fun to make them think otherwise.”

   
“Oh, how the plot thickens.”
 

   
Matt excused himself to go to the men’s room.
 
I drifted outside onto the terrace to catch some fresh air.
 
Several people were gathered in groups talking quietly.
 
One of them was Taffy dressed as a scarecrow.
 
When she saw my costume, she smirked, whispering something to Nancy.
 
I decided to say hello.

   
“Taffy, glad to see you getting out,” I said smiling.
 
“Is your mother here?”

   
“Nope, she’s working.”

   
“I understand that the medical examiner is releasing your father’s body with the cause of death listed as a heart attack.
 
I am sure that is a relief for both you and your mother.”
 
I had already forgotten my promise to Matt.

   
Taffy said nothing.
 
I was hoping to bait her into revealing something.
 
“Is there going to be a service soon?”

   
“Yes.
 
It will be in the paper,” replied Taffy coldly, her scarecrow makeup making her eyes look abnormally large.

   
“I see.
 
Who is your friend?”

   
I could see Taffy was becoming uncomfortable. It pleased me to see her squirm.
 

   
“This is Nancy Wasser.”

   
“Nice to meet you,” I replied.

   
Nancy stared at me, not uttering a word.

   
“Let’s see, Nancy Wasser, Nancy Wasser.
 
When my husband was ill, he had a nurse named Nancy Wasser.
 
That was about three years ago. His name was Brannon Reynolds.”

   
“I don’t remember.
 
I have had lots of patients.”

   
“I could have sworn you were my husband’s nurse.
 
I guess that is why you are dressed as a nurse tonight, Ms. Wasser?”

   
“Are you suppose to be the devil or somethin’?” sneered Nancy.

   
“I am Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty.”

   
“Doesn’t she get killed by Prince Charming?” baited Taffy, looking at Nancy for approval.

   
“It’s Prince Philip,” I corrected.
 
“But she does exact her revenge before she bites the bullet.
 
I would keep that in mind.”

   
Taffy immediately became sullen.
 
“What do you mean by that?”

   
“I mean that when a particular type of person is pushed, they sometimes push back – hard.
 
You know – the
Don’t Tread On Me
motto.”

   
Nancy snapped, “Lady, you sure got some sharp edges on you.
 
A person is likely to prick themselves on you.”

   
“Isn’t that funny that you used the word prick . . .”
        

   
Sensing someone at my elbow, I turned around.

   
“Oh, darling, here you are,” murmured Matt in my ear while pinching my elbow.

   
I stifled an “ooouch!”

  
Matt smiled at the ladies when he felt me flinch.
 
“Good evening, Taffy.
 
Please introduce me to your charming friend.”
 
Taffy introduced Nancy as Matt bowed and kissed Nancy’s hand.
 
“I adore your nurse and scarecrow outfits.
 
How original.”
                                                                                                                    

   
I could tell Taffy and Nancy were wondering if they had just been insulted or praised.
 
I was wondering myself.

  
“Showoff,” I muttered under my breath.

  
Matt blocked my view of them.
 
“Your drinks need freshening up.
 
Allow me, please.”
 
He reached for both of their glasses, which they relinquished.
 
“I hope that each one of you will honor me with a dance later this evening.”
 
Pulling at my sleeve, Matt said, “Come away, dear.”
 
Matt smiled back at the ladies.

  
Taffy beamed at Matt while her friend looked suspicious.
 
Either way, Matt had two glasses in his hand as he steered me towards the kitchen.
 
After talking with a waiter, Matt procured two baggies in which he deposited the glasses. “Get your stuff,” he ordered.
 
“We are leaving now.”
  

  
I quickly grabbed my staff, purse and my grandfather’s sword from our table.
 
Hurriedly passing through the massive front doors, I hopped into the Mercedes, barely closing the door as Matt peeled away.
 
I guess it had not occurred to her, but I now had Taffy’s DNA and fingerprints. We made off like bandits.

 
Giddy with our success, we congratulated each other on the glass scam.
 
We kissed, gave each other the high five, and giggled like fools.
  
We had taken Ironworks Pike, the back road to home, thinking that other guests including Taffy would take I-75. We were not paying the least bit of attention

when we were suddenly hit from behind.
      

  
“What the . . . ?” yelled Matt, grabbing the steering wheel tighter.
 
He glanced into the side mirror.
 

  
I turned around in my seat only to experience another jolt of the car hitting us.
 
The car’s brights were glaring so I couldn’t see the type of car or driver.
 
Matt was barely keeping my old Mercedes from careening off the road.
 
Suddenly, the attacking car pulled into the opposite lane and sped up to become even with us.
 

  
“Watch it, Matt.
 
They’re going to run us off the road!” I cried.
 

  
Matt cursed at the other driver and slammed the brakes while the other car sped on.
 
My car stopped in the middle of Ironworks Pike.
 
Turning to each other, we both gave a collective sigh while watching the other car’s tail lights disappear.

  
“Do you think that was Taffy?” I asked.

  
“Didn’t you say that she drives a new Prius?”

  
“Yes.”

  
“I really couldn’t see who was driving or how many were in the car, but I don’t think it was a Prius.
 
Sat too high up,” stated Matt

  
“They could have come in Nancy’s car.
 
I have no idea what she drives.”

  
A car came around the bend from the other direction.
 
Matt drove the Mercedes very slowly as he watched the car pass us.

  
“That’s the car!” exclaimed Matt as he pushed down on the accelerator.

  
“The car that hit us?
 
How can you tell?”

  
Matt didn’t answer but concentrated on getting away from the “Christine” which had swerved around in the road and was now following us again at a fast clip.
 
I was fumbling for my cell phone when the car slammed into us from behind again.
 
I screamed.
 
My purse spilled into the back seat. Frantically, I felt for my cell phone on the floor.
 
Matt steered into the middle of the road, attempting to keep the other car from being even with us again.
 
The car jolted us again from behind, rattling my teeth.

   
“Sweet Jesus,” muttered Matt.
 
We came to a wide spot in the road, which gave the other car room to become even with us.
                                                                                                                                     

   
I held on to the dashboard tightly as I knew what was coming.
 
The car jammed into our side, causing us to run off the road, down a ditch, through a plank fence and into the horse pasture beyond.
 
I caught glimpses of horses scattering out of our way.
 
We finally came to a stop.
 
Matt jumped out of the Mercedes yelling at me to get out.
 
He ran over to my side, pulling me away from the Mercedes just as the car caught fire.
 
The little explosion actually lifted me off the ground as I ran.
 
Landing on my knees, I scrambled forward, half running, half crawling.
 
I heard Matt panting behind me.
 
Feeling I was far enough away, I turned to face the burning car.