Dear Playboy Advisor: Questions From Men and Women to the Advice Column of Playboy Magazine (55 page)

Can a football coach get tossed?

Can a football coach get tossed out of a game for cussing at or arguing with an official? I’ve seen it happen in basketball and baseball but never in the NFL.—R.P., San Francisco, California

That’s in part because football officials have more room to roam, which often puts them out of earshot. An NFL coach who loses his cool risks a 15-yard penalty and a fine, but he would have to punch or shove an official to be ejected. No one we talked to at the NFL could remember that ever happening, but there is a famous story about an assistant who was tossed from a game in 1957. San Francisco was trailing Chicago in the final two minutes when an official gave the 49ers a 15-yard penalty. He told quarterback Y.A. Tittle that a coach had used abusive language, and indicated offensive line coach Tiger Johnson. Tittle denied knowing Johnson. Puzzled, the official went to head coach Frankie Albert, who also denied knowing Johnson. Albert went further, claiming Johnson was a “drunk” who had been “annoying the hell out of me.” Two Chicago cops escorted Johnson out, the official reversed his call and the 49ers went on to win the game.

Arm-wrestling techniques

Once in a while you hear a story about a 90-pound woman who puts down some guy twice her size in an arm wrestling match. Is there a technique involved, or is it just brute arm strength?—H.H., Indianapolis, Indiana

In general, good arm wrestlers are blessed with thick fingers and tendons of steel in their wrists and forearms. Because the typical sanctioned arm wrestling match lasts only 15 seconds (30 seconds is a barn burner), the strength of your hand, wrist and forearm is required from the get-go, and then the bicep, tricep and deltoid muscles jump in for support. For that reason, wiry guys and gals can outperform bodybuilder types. To stay on top of his game, Bob O’Leary, executive director of the American Arm Wrestling Association, does plenty of reverse curls and spends time strengthening his fingers.

Breaking in a glove

What’s the best way to break in a new softball glove?—J.S., Grand Rapids, Michigan

Pour a small amount of leather conditioner or glove oil on a dry, clean cloth and work it into the pocket and back of the mitt. Allow the leather to dry for at least 24 hours. Wipe off any excess oil, then play catch for ten to 15 minutes to stretch the pocket and allow the glove to conform to your hand. Finally, position a ball in the pocket and tie or rubber-band it closed for a few days. Store your glove with a ball in the pocket, and don’t oil it more than once or twice a season.

Preventing golf blisters

Three months ago I took up golf. I visit the driving range or course twice a week, but I am getting blisters on my thumbs. Am I holding the clubs too tightly? Would it help to wear gloves on both hands?—M.T., Sacramento, California

Holding your clubs with a death grip is a common beginner’s mistake. Have the club pro take a look—and soon, before you ingrain any bad habits. But even if you have a perfect swing, expect blisters if you don’t play every day. One study found that a golfer must pull the grip of a driver with more than 100 pounds of force during a fast swing to keep from falling forward. A slow swing requires 30 to 40 pounds. That causes some wear and tear. “When you shake hands with tour players, their hands feel like sandpaper,” says Shawn Humphries, who works with many pros as director of instruction at Cowboys Golf Club near Dallas. “Yet they still fear blisters. Tiger Woods often puts medical tape on a finger or pinkie because he doesn’t want his hands to split, especially in cold weather. Lee Trevino always wore a glove with tape on the outside around his thumb. If a golfer stays the course, he’ll get calluses. In the meantime there’s nothing wrong with using two gloves, although it may be enough just to tape your thumbs.”

As I get older, I suffer more injuries

I am an outdoor-sports enthusiast who just turned 45. Lately it seems I’m constantly suffering from injuries such as torn muscles and cracked bones, even from minor falls. Am I getting too old for aggressive sports, or can I adjust my training regimen and continue to hack the occasional 20-foot cliff?—S.R., Pacific Palisades, California

You can make adjustments but also need to accept your body’s limitations as you age. It helps to stretch like a madman, use proper form and make sure you have the best equipment. The most common “boomeritis” ailments that Dr. Nicholas DiNubile, an orthopedic surgeon in Philadelphia, sees among men over 40 are rotator cuff problems (typically in guys who throw around too much weight); tendinitis-related problems in the heel, under the knees and at the elbow; early arthritis in the knees and hips; and lower back stiffness and pain often caused by degenerating disks. He says it’s crucial to have a balanced, year-round fitness routine. “As you get older, you can’t just be a weekend warrior or a springtime softball player,” he says. “You need a regular regimen that includes cardiovascular exercise, strength training and flexibility. It’s the rare boomer who has all three.” A trainer or physician who specializes in sports medicine can help you establish a safe zone and then design a program to expand it. When starting a new sport or returning from an injury, it’s a good idea to increase your level of activity by no more than 10 percent each week.

Preventing a golf slice

What can you recommend for preventing a golf slice? I have a fair short game, but if I could get off the tee better I’d lower my score by a few strokes.—C.S., Phoenix, Arizona

Fixing a slice can be more difficult than asking your girlfriend to have a threesome. And harder to explain. The ball veers to the right because the face of your club is tilted away from you at contact. That causes sidespin, and the ball begins to curve when it reaches maximum velocity. First, you need to work on keeping the club head square to the ball. A common error is not releasing the head just before impact—that is, your right hand needs to catch up and pass through your left as the ball is struck. (Old pros will tell you to work on hooking the ball, so that everything balances out.) It’s crucial that the back of your left hand remains square. If your wrist folds or cups—which happens especially if you swing the club back farther than your shoulder—your swing becomes an outside-in throwing motion. Second, check your hands. Any respectable golf book or video will include a demonstration of a proper grip (see Nick Price’s guide,
The Swing: Mastering the Principles of the Game.
) Third, check your stance. Your weight shouldn’t shift toward your toes or lunge down the fairway during your downswing. Finally, find a place to practice where you can take your time to develop good habits. Videotape your swing, and consider taking a few lessons with the club pro.

After a loss

I play basketball once a week in a city league. I tell myself it’s just exercise, but I’m always depressed after a loss. Sometimes this mood continues to the next day. When we win, I’m a friendly guy, congratulating the other team on their play, commiserating about the officiating, probably annoying them as much as cheerful winners annoy me when we lose. Is there some biological explanation for this, or am I simply two-faced and too competitive?—P.W., Chicago, Illinois

Your reaction is natural. Your body anticipates the competition and produces more testosterone during the hours before tip-off. The surge increases your concentration, confidence and aggressiveness. If you win, your body maintains the higher level of testosterone. If you lose, the level returns to normal. The surge is most pronounced when the outcome is in doubt. “If a player is positive he’s going to defeat his opponent, he won’t get the rise,” explains Alan Booth, a sociologist at Penn State University who has studied hormone levels in wrestlers and tennis players. The drop in testosterone isn’t all bad—your body is telling you to rest and heal. The winner, meanwhile, must be ready for the next challenger (consider how tournaments are structured). Researchers have recorded these fluctuations even among men playing chess and male spectators. Testosterone doesn’t completely explain your moods—some guys are just better at losing than others. In our experience, the most gracious competitors are those who don’t view their time on the floor as a way to prove their manhood off the floor.

A proper rack

How do you properly rack the balls for a game of pool?—C.K., St. Louis, Missouri

In eight ball, the balls can be racked in any order as long as number eight sits at the center. Alternating stripes and solids is not required, but the shooter may ask for a re-rack if he doesn’t like how things look. In nine ball (where you pocket nine balls in numerical order), rack them in a diamond shape with number one at the head, number nine in the center and the remainder in any order. For more guidance, download the American Poolplayers Association rule book at poolplayers.com. Our favorite section explains what to do if your buddy starts knocking in the wrong balls,e.g., stripes when he’s playing solids: “It is permissible, though not recommended, that the sitting player allow the shooting player to continue shooting his balls in until he feels inclined to call the foul.” However, if your friend gets wise and asks which balls he should be hitting, “the sitting player must tell him the truth.” What kind of rule is that?

During long nights working at a pool hall in Milwaukee, I kept busy reading the rules of the Billiard Congress of America. It says that the balls should be racked with the eight ball in the center, a striped ball in one corner and a solid ball in the other corner. Every time I play, someone questions why I place opposite balls in the corners. What can I say? I like a proper rack as much as the next guy.—S.S., Portland, Oregon

We were waiting for that joke.

Healing a sprained ankle

What’s the best way to treat a sprained ankle so I can get back to my running?—G.B., Toronto, Ontario

For years trainers recommended a course of treatment known as RICE—rest, ice, compression and elevation. But reformers now encourage gentle movement, or MICE. “Immobilizing an injury, unless it’s fractured or shredded, shuts down the muscle,” explains Jim Wharton, who runs Maximum Performance International, a New York-based sports rehab clinic. “Even the tiniest range of motion helps blood flow to the injury and repatterns the neurological firing.” If you’re injured, apply ice and visit a doctor immediately for X rays. To rehab, move ice over the area for 5 or 10 minutes every hour. (You also should compress and elevate the injury to reduce swelling.) Begin gentle stretching—point your toes up and down and turn the foot in and out enough that you feel discomfort but not pain. You’ll see steady improvement in your range of motion. Within hours or days (depending on the severity of the sprain), add light resistance by holding the ankle with your hand as you flex. The muscle should return to form within a few weeks, but it usually takes six weeks for it to heal enough for sports.

Calculating a golf handicap

How do I get a golf handicap? I can tell people what my average score is, but I would like one to be on record from year to year for when I play in leagues or tournaments.—D.W., Cincinnati, Ohio

A handicap must be established through a golf club that operates under guidelines established by the USGA. That isn’t as difficult as it sounds: A club can be any group of at least ten golfers who play together often. The system is based on peer review: Partners make sure everyone’s scorecard reflects reality. (The club’s handicap committee handles disputes.) To establish a handicap, you need to play at least five rounds. Once you’ve played more, your handicap will be calculated based on the ten best of your most recent twenty rounds and adjusted every two to four weeks during your playing season. You also adjust your handicap at each course, based on its difficulty. In addition, there are calculations to account for every kind of anomaly you might encounter while playing a round that affects your handicap, such as bad weather that postpones the final holes. And don’t forget Equitable Stroke Control and slope ratings. It’s a math major’s delight. You’ll find all the details—there are 17 chapters and six appendixes—in the USGA handicap system manual, available online at http://usga.org/handicap or by phoning 800-336-4446. The maximum handicap index for men, by the way, is 36.4, from which you can only improve.

Getting ready for softball

I play a lot of softball in the summer. Can you tell me which exercises to do or muscle groups to work so I’ll be ready?—C.G., Flint, Michigan

From a sitting position, lift a full can of beer to your mouth. Repeat. Still tight? Start preparing three to four months before the season by strengthening your shoulder and upper back muscles. (See
The Whartons’ Strength Book
for workouts designed for softball players.) These muscles need to be in balance before you begin swinging the bat in earnest. Your cardio work should include endurance runs to get you through the season and sprints and shuffles to mimic the fast-twitch motions of a game. The goal is to prevent the soreness and injuries that cripple many players early in the season. Be creative. As part of his skills work, one guy we know swings a 34-inch section of broomstick at one-inch plastic golf balls. When the season begins, he says the softball looks as big as the pitcher’s head.