Dear Darling (4 page)

“You had this all planned out, didn’t you?” His tone changed when he realised what I’d done. He grabbed our bags and paid the driver as I waited on the pavement. When the driver pulled away, he dumped the bags beside us, picked me up in his bulky arms, and swung me around, only stopping to kiss me. “Thank you,” he said, excitedly.

“Happy New Year,” I replied before kissing him deeply. “Come on.” I dragged him inside and checked us in. The receptionist was a lovely older lady named Sue, she had the kindest face and her eyes were the colour of sapphires. She made us lunch and had it brought up to our room for us, letting us know that tea, or dinner as Eli called it, would be served in the dining room at six.

The room was spacious; there was a large, dark oak four-post bed in the centre of the room. In front, there was a matching dresser with a television sitting on top. Next to it was a smaller table with a kettle and a small caddie full of tea and coffee supplies on top. There was a large bathroom with a bath big enough to fit both of us. I made a mental note to make sure we used it later.

“Are you okay?” Eli asked, as he sat on the bed, flicking through the television channels to find something to watch. He’d noticed that I’d been pacing the room a lot since we arrived.

“Yeah, I’m wondering what they’re going to be serving to eat. I’m famished.” I lied. I didn’t think I could eat a thing.

“We can head down and take a look at the menu if you want? It’s almost six anyway.” He jumped off the bed and turned the television off in the process.

“Yeah, sure. Let me grab my cardigan.” Throwing it around my shoulders, we headed downstairs to the dining room. Sue seated us and brought us some drinks. I hadn’t seen any other employees and wondered if she ran it alone. A few minutes later she brought us out our meals.

“Why aren’t you eating?” I had been stirring my spoon in my lamb hotpot for the last five minutes whilst staring into space.

“Oh, sorry. I was lost in my own mind.” I took a bite, which was delicious, but my stomach churned with nerves.

“What were you thinking?” he asked, eating another spoonful of the stew.

“Oh, nothing.” I had to make something up, I couldn’t say what I was thinking about. My brain wouldn’t work.

“Come on, tell me.” He smirked at my uneasiness.

“I was thinking how nice it would be to meet your brother sometime.” I said quickly.

“Yeah, sure. As soon as we get a break, we can take a trip to see Aaron and Jodie.” He beamed, finishing his meal, and rubbing his belly in delight. “Well, that was delicious.”

“It is lovely,” I said, smiling again at his content expression.

Eli ate dessert, while I watched him tensely. When he was done we thanked the lady and headed back up the stairs to our room.

We were laying on the bed, watching
Dirty Dancing
on the small TV, as Patrick Swayze starting singing “She’s Like the Wind”. My head lay in the crook of Eli’s arm, and even though I was still clothed, he had taken his shirt off. I stroked up and down his naked chest, my stomach a twisted mess of nerves and excitement. Eli hadn’t made a move, but I wasn’t surprised, he was the epitome of a gentleman. I wanted this, though. So, while my fingers traced lazy circles on his skin, I inched my way further down his body. It was as if his whole body froze when my fingers fluttered over the band of his boxer shorts. His breathing quickened, and I could see him growing inside his pants. I only barely managed to keep my composure, but I knew it was something I wanted. I loved him, and I wanted him to be my first
and
my last.

“Saffron,” his voice was low and husky. “Are you sure you want this?”

“I’ve never been more certain in my life. I love you, Eli. I want you to have all of me.” Climbing on top of his soft body, I could feel every indentation and line of his muscles as I explored him with my fingers.

“I love you, Saff. When I’m with you, it feels like my life’s complete. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. You’re my everything, and you will be all I’ll ever need and want. You make me feel like I’m finally home.” He gently touched his lips to mine as his soft hands gripped hold of my hips tightly, switching our positions so that he was now on top. He never once broke our kiss. His fingers explored my body, he was sweet and gentle, touching me with reverence. It was as if he were worshipping my entire being. When he entered me, it was painful, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The euphoria he was creating with his hands and mouth overpowered the twinge of pain. He was so careful not to hurt me, watching my face the entire time as he slowly moved inside me. He quickened his pace, still watching me for any changes in my reaction. It was exhilarating; my entire body felt like it was on fire. As I felt him thicken, he let out a moan that reverberated through his chest. He pulled out of me and the loss was overwhelming. If he stayed inside of me forever, I would never get enough of him.

I felt his weight lift off the mattress, and moments later, I heard the tap in the bathroom turn on and off again. Moments later, the bed dipped and his body was against mine again.

“You are so beautiful.” His words were whispered between light kisses peppered over my bare shoulder. We laid there, tucked against each other with our hands roaming, memorising. I pressed my cheek against his chest, listening to his heart beat and basking in the moment. His smell, his touch, the way his skin erupted in goose bumps in the wake of my fingernails. I wanted it all locked into a chest inside my mind so it would never fade.

“What do you see in the future?” I asked him without lifting my head from his skin.

“If I said you, would you run?” His voice vibrated through his chest.

“If I ran, would you chase me?” I questioned in a whisper.

“I would follow you to the end of the earth.” An emotional feeling wrapped itself around my throat, and my eyes pricked with tears, but I didn’t let them fall. After what felt like minutes his breathing evened out and his arms slackened around me as he drifted to sleep. I laid awake for hours, replaying his words in my mind until finally I fell asleep, safe and warm in the arms of the boy who owned every part of my heart.

Six months had gone by, and I couldn’t believe how perfect my life had become. Everything was going so well. My course was moving along smoothly. Eli had his first lot of exams in a few weeks’ time, and he was so nervous, cramming every chance he got. That also meant that we didn’t see a lot of each other. I didn’t mind, I’d taken on extra evening shifts at the shop I worked at so I could afford for us to go on a mini break in the summer to Scotland. I knew I was being irresponsible with what little money I earned, but I loved seeing his face light up when I surprised him.

“D’ya have any plans for tonight?” Mel asked from where she was lounging against her headboard, books scattered around her bed. I was at the desk, but I wasn’t studying. Most of what I had to do was coursework so I had more free time than Eli.

“Nope, I’d planned to stay in and watch some telly.” She opened my wardrobe and started to fling clothes out of it until she found what she was looking for. She threw my black jeans and red checked shirt at me.

“Get dressed, love. We’re goin’ out.” She grinned.

We ended up at one of the nightclubs in the city. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what it was called, but it had this hideous neon décor and the seats were shaped like lips. It was horrendous, but we had a great night. Eli was at home studying, and I felt incredibly guilty that I was out partying without him. However, the alcohol soon dissipated those feelings.

“Can I buy yer a drink?” A guy with long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes asked as I stood at the bar waiting to be served. The music was loud, but I could hear his Scottish accent clearly.

“No, thank you.” I replied, trying to avoid any more contact with him.

“Don’t you go to the uni up the road?” He didn’t want to give up, pushing past a guy so he could get closer to me.

“Yeah.” Keeping my answers short and clipped, I didn’t want to start a conversation with this guy, but he had other ideas. The damn bartenders were so busy it looked like I would be stuck there with him for a while. I had contemplated leaving the drink, but I was thirsty and couldn’t wait.

“I’m Greg,” he said, holding out his hand. I took it because I didn’t want to appear rude, and honestly, what was the harm in shaking a bloke’s hand?

“Nice to meet you, Greg, I’m Saffy,” I replied politely, looking around to check where Mel was.

“Cool name, what’s it short for?”

Why does everyone have to ask me that question?

“Saffron, but I prefer Saffy.” Gathering my hair in my hands I pulled it up and tied it into a bun. The heat in the club had increased and I could feel the sweat dripping down my neck.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Saffy. Why don’t you let me buy you that drink now?”

“No thanks, I need to get back to my friend.” I motioned towards Mel, who was grinding next to some fella on the dance floor. She had no shame. She had been getting along great with Chris, and I thought things were heating up between the two of them, but she was a horrendous flirt. The bartender finally showed up, and I ordered my drinks.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Greg,” I said as I left the bar. He gave me a wave and a grin as I headed over to our table. We had a great night, but every now and then I’d get the sense that he was watching me. It was unnerving.

“So, how was your evening?” Eli asked as I placed the coffee and toast in front of him. The coffee shop was unusually quiet for a Monday morning. It was only us and an old man huddled in the corner, sipping his steaming drink carefully.

“Mel dragged me out to some club in the city, it was horrendous.” Rolling my eyes, I blew out a sigh.

“Sounds like fun.”

“It wasn’t. Did you get much studying done?”

“Yeah, it was a productive night,” he said on a yawn before laying his head on the table and picking at his toast. His red-rimmed eyes fluttered closed every few seconds, and I watched him worriedly. He was piling so much pressure on himself to get the grades he needed.

“We better get to class,” I said, standing and holding out my hand to pull him up. He flung his arm around me and we walked together towards our lessons.

As soon as the exams were over, the change in Eli was dramatic. He went from distant, exhausted, and reclusive to attentive, energised, and gregarious. We spent the week before summer partying every night. He got his appetite back and started to pile back on the weight he’d lost. The bulkiness that I loved when I first met him was finally starting to come back.

It was the second week of summer, and we had just arrived in Scotland. When I told him that we were going, he behaved like a kid at Christmas. He was shocked at first, refusing to accept the gift, but when I told him it was all paid for and we couldn’t refund it, he smiled bigger than I’d ever seen, and pulled me in to him, holding me tightly.

“Thank you so much. You know you’re the best girlfriend ever?”

“I know,” I said smugly.

He had never been to Scotland and I couldn’t wait to take him around all the places that I’d visited as a child.

“I want to show you where my grandmother was born,” I told him, as we sat on the bus headed for Aberdeen City centre. We were staying in a little pub in Maryculter, just outside of the city, so had a short journey into the city.

“I can’t wait. I want to know everything about you, and your family.” He smiled, looking out the window at the surrounding forests and hills. We jumped off the bus and walked the short distance towards the beach. “Wow, it’s so weird having a beach right next to the city. I’m so used to London, it’s strange.” He slowed his pace, taking in all the new sites.

“We used to come here all the time when I was small. My grandmother was a lovely lady, and I adored her. I wish she could have met you.” He took hold of my hand, stroking it gently, as we rounded the corner to the street where she lived. I wasn’t sure who lived there now, but we stopped outside for a few minutes letting the memories of my childhood flood my mind.

“I remember playing in the garden one day and falling off that wall.” I pointed to the grey brick wall, which still circled the garden. “This scar was the result.” I moved my hair away from behind my ear, showing him the small scar. He reached up, letting his smooth fingers trace across the physical mark of the memory.