Dave Cameron and the Extraterrestrial (15 page)

Read Dave Cameron and the Extraterrestrial Online

Authors: V Bertolaccini

Tags: #extraterrestrial, #science fiction horror, #alternative universe, #horror comedy, #david cameron, #downing street, #action comedy, #alien comedy, #interdimensional voyager, #ufo humor

BOOK: Dave Cameron and the Extraterrestrial
11.72Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

He hungrily examined everything he came,
desperately trying to recall things, and had vague recollections of
things but could not fully prove they were his property and he
rushed into the living room and with his mail.

With satisfaction he read all the names and
that they were for him and he started examining the contents of
them with much confusion as he never recognized any of it, and
while gasping, he wondered what to do as he did not know what to
reply with to some of them, and could not understand what he
actually did and why he should reply.

It left him confused and he saw he would have
to contact Dory on some of the things, or he would just have to
contact the people and ask for information and explain things as
best as he could.

He wandered around examining things, with
deep disappointment, as he had badly lost his memory and he was
going to have problems!

Yet he considered everything over again and
realized that the mail would not necessarily have anything in it
and that the best documents about him had to be in the house and he
started searching everywhere, and went up the stairs, and started
examining everything there.

The corridor had to be the darkest place as
the bulb was one of the weakest, and he stood examining it, feeling
its weak heat with his fingers, and wondered why he had put such a
weak light there, as he was sure he would have lit the stairs and
corridor properly, but perhaps he had just not bothered.

Even with the light shade off it gave their
strange dark and gloomy glows and he realized something and that
Dory had said and that the house was his new house, and he realized
that he might not have properly stayed there and that the light and
other stuff were given with the house by the previous owners.

He looked in the rooms, and left what was
surely his bedroom for last, and he found them empty and sure
enough had all their contents taken away accept things that
belonged with the rooms.

He soon rushed into his bedroom and lay
across the bed where he clearly had slept, and looked everywhere he
could think of, while he smelt everything and rested and felt
sleepy, and tried to recall memories that had to be there, buried
away in his mind somewhere, and he once again disappointedly
realized the reality of the situation but saw that he had Dory, and
someone that had actually known him that was willing to give him
information and he started trying to think of things to ask her
when he saw her again, and was surprised he now could not even
fantasize knowing anything in room and house and wondered if he had
damaged his memory and had been deleting stuff like with a
computer, and he then wondered if Dory had played a trick on him as
he recalled her giving a wicked laugh to something! How could he
prove the person that owned it was not just someone with the same
name?

Yet he had recognized the house outside, and
realized if he just relaxed and treated the room as normal and
ignored his memory problems he might eventually recall things the
normal way.

So he removed cans of beer out his bag and
drank them and wandered around the room doing things.

The door to his cupboard was locked and he
wondered why and put it down to precaution and wondered where the
key would be and realized he would not be able to find it and used
a piece of wire to open its simple lock and found it was full of
jackets, which all fitted him, as well as other things, and he
started searching through jacket pockets and found things like pens
and handkerchiefs and, in the end, looked in other places about the
room and found nothing of interest and realized for some reason he
never had any documents there and wondered if someone had taken
them.

Yet it was his new house and he was positive
that the other house might not be sold and he might have been
staying there too, and had spent most of his time there, and that
most of his stuff was still in his other house.

 

Chapter 8

 

The Second
Visitation

 

A dark starship shot through an awesome abyss
full of stars into this galaxy, with spectacular beams of radiance
exploding out, and it hurtled through endless solar systems,
accelerating towards an inconceivable urgency!

At its center monstrous intergalactic aliens
stood in a circle formation in bright white light, anxiously
checking information, in their form of military structure, from
galactic starship.

The
voyager
hurtled endlessly through space at a
tremendous rate, racing towards the planet Earth, in an unknown
region of space, to a highly advanced member of a species of
unknown origins that it had
ever encountered, which it was desperately trying to
investigate!

It shifted with
fury through the universe as their species had never encountered
such an advanced form of alien, and nothing new in hundreds of
years, and they were ready to handle what they could and
investigate what was there, and they were carefully chosen out of
their entire species for the encounter and to represent their
race!

While it
accelerated to the limits it could travel their intelligent voyager
altered shape and form, improving itself, seeking to affectively
achieve its objective! Its vast
senses burst into life
all over it and it went into a strange state as it properly
detected the
advanced
form of alien
and the aliens decided to do something
desperate, and it dangerously used weapon systems to accelerate to
a far greater velocity.

With furious explosions the whole starship
violently shuddered, and regions of it were destroyed from the
forces, and the aliens themselves even stood ready for possible
destruction.

The powerful
unstable energy explosions temporary warped and unbalanced space
all about it, while it shot through vast star systems, as it
furiously forced itself to go to dangerous levels, and it screamed
through the universe.

S
tar formations flashed by and it entered the
unknown and unexplored depths of space, with
its ghost shape
flickering
through solar systems.

At its center the formation of the
monstrous intergalactic aliens altered when it monitored the
interdimensional extraterrestrial on the world and they detected
and received strange transmissions, and swiftly decoded the
information and having never watched fictional human television
their form of military structured species formed an alien contact
scenario with the human race instead, and with the
world’s main leader Dave
Cameron, and have their three leaders make contact!

 

Chapter 9

 

The Alien
Invasion

 

On the second
night of Cameron’s arrival at the house he was not any wiser to his
identity, and Dory was the only place left to get information, and
he was still considering what to do, and he had a feeling that he
was going to be disappointed, and he had stayed in and had ended up
drunk on his living room floor

After watching
endless news programs and reading newspapers and magazines he was
left stumped and disappointed at what had happened to the Prime
Minister, and there had only been one mention of him being away on
holiday, and he still intended to try to meet him and he wished to
get information on him and his movements!

In the end he
got so frustrated and drunk that he almost collapsed, and ended up
in a heap over the floor.

So when the
first alien leader arrived to make first contact with him on behalf
of the human race he never heard his doorbell ring, and thought it
was part of a dream.

The bell rang
again and kept ringing until he eventually became conscious and it
affected his dream, and when he opened his eyes he sat up wondering
what it was, as he had not heard the strange sounding bell tone
before and rested trying to identify the racket and even considered
if it was an air raid siren.

Consequently,
he realized what it had to be and that one of his neighbors had to
be at the door and staggered about on his feet and stumbled
forward, going in the direction of the door, and finally reached it
wondering who could possibly be so inhuman to ring a doorbell for
so long and at that time of night!

When he finally
unlocked it he gasped and wondered if he should open it, as he
could barely even stand, and he was almost sick, and in the end
just yanked the door open!

He never
noticed that there was nobody out in the darkness and stood swaying
about, and he eventually got tired of the drilling sound of the
bell blasting out near his ear.

It was
incredible he had not even met anyone there and had only seen one
or two of them out the window and one of them was killing him with
his doorbell, and he considered having it replaced in the morning,
and started to search the darkness in front of him, wondering why
there was nobody there, and he searched for the doorbell but could
not find it and searched the outer wall by trying to feel the
blasted thing, and stopped when he saw a strange thin fog engulfing
his garden and the outer road, without him hardly noticing it and
it soon thickened, and he could not see where it was emerging from
and realized it had to be a freak weather condition, and realized
that it must be a ground level weather formation, and fog was
forming in the region and he was sure he was at the central
point!

Yet he stood
propped against the doorframe wondering what the hell the doorbell
had to do with it and realized that it must be local kids playing
tricks on the locals, and tried recalling the date and realized it
was not Halloween, anyway!

His sight
seemed to go hazy with the mist as it deepened, and he almost
vomited, and held himself there firmly, trying to think of a way of
stopping the bell ringing and in the end he closed his eyes and
started feeling the outer building wall in the darkness there and
grasped the button and started to feel it and if there was anything
on it, holding it in, and he started trying to pull it out and when
that did not work he grew more and more frustrated and spotted a
boulder near his front lawn, and collected all his energy, and ran
over and grabbed it and ran back and started smashing it off the
side of the wall, and realized it could be ringing all night long
now!

Suddenly it
finally stopped its blasted ring and he laughed, and bowed as if
there was an audience in front of him.

His thoughts
went on the strange nature of the mist and its strange movements,
as though alive, and he saw lights flash in it like they were
electrical, and he wondered if lightning could form in a ground
level cloud.

He had to keep
shutting his eyes to rest his hazy tired eyes.

Peculiar vivid
streaks like colored lightning flashed all about his front and he
examined the thickening mist hovering around menacingly, and he
considered getting in before he collapsed.

It was like
seeing something there at another time in the past, and he wondered
if his brain had received damage!

For a moment he
was sure that there was something actually appearing there from
somewhere else, and examined it at different angles, and then it
was like seeing another world emerge, and he saw through gaps in
the thickening fog and saw regions of something strange in
places.

Out of nowhere
a powerful light emerged through the thickest formation of the mist
with its radiance pulsating and he stood realizing that it was
really there, magically illuminating the fog around his garden,
with strange shadow formations from things he could not see,
creating mind-bending shifting shadows that weaved and probed their
way around.

Sounds of heavy
pounds of emerged, like they were there but not there, and he was
surprised that the ground even shuddered, and realized again at the
amount of drink he had been taking and wondered why he had not
heard of such side effects.

He rested
against the doorframe considering what he would tell his
psychiatrist on Monday, after the weekend, while hearing scurrying
sounds in nearby vegetation.

While he did it
a strange dark shadowed formation emerged in the mist, with a light
behind it, creating mind-bending shifting shadows across his front
that weaved and probed their way about him, and he occasionally
stopped his contemplation to consider it.

In the end,
after realizing how the psychiatrist would react he never believed
there was anything there, and thought it was some strange
hallucinations, and decided to force his brain into realizing it
and accepting nothing was there.

So he stood
glaring at a giant green monster in the darkness outside his front
door and just laughed at it, thinking of it as a hallucination!

It was then
that it the first alien leader from the starship that had
teleported itself to make contact with him, Dave Cameron, stood
still, wondering what he was, and detected something and gasped in
horror, and Cameron started drunkenly shouting at it and told it
bloody well go away home, and he refused to accept it existed, and
he grabbed an old umbrella at the doorway and threw it at it!

The alien bug
leader became furious by the insult and grabbed him by the waist
with its tentacles and threw him all about his garden, from one end
to the other, and he collapsed, from it and the drink and lack of
sleep, and he packed it in for the day!

He only awoke
the next morning when a milkman awoke him in a heap in one of the
bushes in his garden!

 

Chapter 10

 

The Second Alien
Leader

Other books

The Bootleggers by Kenneth L. Levinson
Vanishing Act by Thomas Perry
I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life by Fallon, Jimmy, Fallon, Gloria
La nave fantasma by Diane Carey
Monkey Come Home by Bernard Gallate
Players of Gor by John Norman
Follow the Leader by Mel Sherratt