Dastardly Deeds (5 page)

‘I didn’t mean to put my foot in it before,’ said Donald, beside me.

‘Not at all. It was just Enid, hitting a raw spot.’

‘Yeah, seems to be a bit—’ He broke off, staring at my hat pensively. His eyes widened. ‘I’ve got it. You’re the woman from the Colosseum.’

I flushed. ‘Yes. Sorry about that. I was embarrassed to be caught eavesdropping.’

‘I
knew
I’d seen you before.’ He looked more pleased than annoyed. ‘I never forget a face. You speak French.’

‘Ah, not so much. Sorry.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’ He waved a hand dismissively, and then paused. ‘So Deb tells me Darcy is your ex? That must be awkward.’

‘A little.’

He pushed his glasses back, gazing towards Ali, who was now holding forth on sediment. ‘Hmm. You didn’t have a current partner to bring with you then?’

I looked at him with surprise. Maybe he wasn’t gay after all.

‘Some of these pathways are shocking,’ complained Lyn Russo as she joined us. She looked pale. ‘An accident waiting to happen. They really need to even them out.’

I glanced down at her platform sandals. ‘Umm …’

‘It’s antiquity!’ Donald had recoiled. ‘Older than Christ!’

‘Yep, that’s pretty old.’ Lyn looked even less impressed. ‘And definitely time for an upgrade. If they leave it like this, someone’ll fall and kill themselves. It’s—’ She stopped abruptly and then put a hand on Donald’s arm. ‘I am
so
sorry! How unthoughtful of me!’

He stared at her hand with distaste. ‘Ah, um …’

‘I am so sorry,’ said Lyn again, clearly mortified. She began to move away. ‘Me and my mouth! I’m always putting my foot in it!’

‘All the more reason to wear sensible shoes,’ commented Yen as she passed by. ‘Idiot woman. Nell, have you noticed what your daughter’s doing?’

I followed her pointing finger towards the remains of a small amphitheatre that swelled off the side of the walkway. Quinn and Griffin Russo were there, sitting on the top tier, deep in conversation. They didn’t seem to be doing any harm, although this opinion was clearly not shared by Darcy, who was watching them narrowly. Tessa was trying to distract him.

I turned back to Donald. ‘Lyn’s not the brightest but she does mean well.’ I paused. ‘It must be hard, though – continuing with the whole cruise, I mean, after what happened.’

He grimaced. ‘Yeah. We nearly didn’t. But she would have loved all this.’ He gazed around. We were standing beside a small cliff, where the weedy earth dipped towards a plateau of chalky-grey foundations.

‘Was she a history buff?’

He shrugged. ‘Do you need to be a history buff to be impressed here?’

‘No. Not at all.’

‘She’d have given that Lyn what for, though.’ He transferred his gaze to where the woman in question stood with one hand on a thousand-year-old wall as she lifted a foot to examine her platform sandal. ‘Met her in Rome and wasn’t much impressed. April had no patience for fools. And she didn’t have much tact either.’

‘Oh?’ It occurred to me that he didn’t have a great store of tact either. For all he knew, Lyn and I were friends, or even relations.

‘Yeah. Actually, she could be a bit of a bitch.’

‘Who’s a bitch?’ asked Petra. Scott, Deb and Phoebe had come up with her. ‘Are you talking about me?’

‘No, our friend. April. I was just saying she called a spade a spade.’

‘Don!’ Phoebe looked shocked, but also oddly delighted. ‘You can’t call someone a bitch when they only just … you know.’

‘Too soon?’

‘It’s true though,’ said Scott. He seemed quieter today, less beer and skittles. ‘Loved the woman, but she could be a little passive-aggressive at times.’

‘You two seem to be getting on well,’ said Deb, raising an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged. There wasn’t much to say to that.

‘Come along, everyone!’ Ali was waving his arms enthusiastically. ‘Now we continue! Keep up! Keep up!’

Phoebe giggled at his enthusiasm. It was an odd sound from a woman with grey hair. She was wearing her usual layers, along with a chiffon scarf tied around her head. She looked like a tree that had been draped with material. Ali had already started striding along the path so we hurried to catch up. Around the bend was an amazing view of the valley as it cascaded in folds towards farmland. The carcass of the ancient city traversed the hillside. It was part of the landscape, interwoven with lush foliage. It was amazing.

The day continued slowly, almost respectfully. Petra made a very conditional apology, which actually wasn’t much of an apology at all, but I chose to take it that way. After lunch, Ali left us to wander the site by ourselves. Lyn Russo stayed at the cafe, her feet up on a chair. It was a wonderfully immersive way to finish off the tour. By mid-afternoon we were strolling back into the square, happily replete. A few dogs lay in sleepy mounds on the asphalt, shaded by the wooden horse. I felt like joining them.

The bus trip back down to Canakkale was quiet, apart from the damply whistling snores of Enid Hurley. A paper bag was passed around to collect gratuities for Ali and the bus driver, with much confusion around currency conversion. Lew made a little speech expressing our appreciation before thrusting the bag into Ali’s hands. It was like a cheery drug deal.

Michael Russo was already at the dock when we pulled up, loading Lyn’s and Griffin’s luggage into the boot of a glossy four-wheel drive. He enjoyed a mixed reception from his family, with Lyn wrapping herself around him like a limpet and Griffin nodding in his father’s general direction before sliding into the back seat. He didn’t look particularly happy, but then neither did Quinn.

The rest of us bid them farewell as we tumbled tiredly off the bus. Cruise staff stood beside a table which held a large urn of fruit punch, but not many people were stopping to partake. Instead we headed straight onto the ship, parting in the foyer with an arrangement to meet by the pool deck in half an hour for drinks.

I was still determined to use the stairs at all times, although the reality was a little dampening. I stood with one hand on the balustrade as Quinn and Ruby passed me at a run, laughing. Apparently they were going to race the entire distance. Youth really was wasted on the young. I began to follow but was halted by an agitated voice on the other side of the partition. It was a male, on a phone, and it sounded like he was begging somebody not to leave him.
You can’t give up now. You’ll be throwing away everything we’ve got. We can get through this.
I thought I recognised the voice so I moved a few steps around to the edge of the partition. There was a luggage trolley parked there.
Just stay strong, I’ll be back soon.
Something twigged. I turned to stare at the trolley, tuning the rest of the conversation out. There were four suitcases, and one of them was purple. A sparkly lemon-shaped tag dangled from the handle.

I gaped at the trolley for a few long minutes. Then I tugged my mobile from my bag and logged into the ship’s internet. I found the photo on Facebook and held the phone up, comparing the two. They were the same. Donald rounded the corner, coming to an abrupt halt when he saw me. We stared at each other in surprise.

‘Nell. Um, what are you doing?’

‘I think I recognise that case,’ I said truthfully, nodding at the sparkly tag. I dropped the phone into my bag and turned my attention to him. He looked pale. ‘I didn’t mean to listen in. Ah, is everything okay?’

‘Sure,’ he said slowly. ‘Although you do seem to make a habit of … never mind.’

I flushed, but decided it wasn’t worth trying to explain myself further. My explanation didn’t make much sense anyway, not even to me. Instead I smiled as I nodded towards the mobile in his hand. ‘Better be careful. You should have that on airplane mode. It’ll cost you a fortune.’

‘I have a special plan.’

‘Good to hear.’ I tried to inject a little humour into my voice. ‘I love special plans. Everyone should have one.’

‘Yes. Okay, then. Um, see you later.’

The man really was as flat as a tack. I gave a distracted wave and went back to gazing at the suitcase. The lemon sparkled cheerfully. It was more suitable for a thirteen-year-old girl than the companion of a nearly fifty-year-old man. But I knew that he preferred women closer to his own age. I pictured a muttony type, with short skirts and chandelier earrings. I took a deep breath. Whoever and whatever she was, it seemed that she, and Ashley Armistead, had arrived.

It took a little longer than half an hour to sort myself out. Helen might have launched a thousand ships but Troy hadn’t done a great deal for me, appearance-wise. I wanted to compare at least
somewhat
favourably with Ashley’s new companion. By the time I got up to the pool deck, Petra had settled into a padded bench seat by the railing. Opposite her were Deb and Tessa Sheridan. I paused for a moment, and then sat down beside my sister.

‘You look nice,’ said Petra, examining my silky orange shift. ‘What’s the occasion?’

‘Oh, I thought I might stay here till dinner then go straight to the restaurant.’

She didn’t look convinced. ‘I see.’

‘How did you like Troy?’ asked Tessa brightly.

‘Very nice.’

A waiter materialised with a tray so I ordered a scotch and Coke. A light breeze was skimming across the pool. I draped my paisley wrap around my shoulders and scanned the area. There were quite a few people here, but most were gathered around the bar. I could see Donald and Scott over there, as well as the Ab Fab group.

‘So you’re with us for Gallipoli tomorrow as well?’ Petra asked Deb.

She nodded. ‘Yep. And to be honest, I’m sort of relieved. I mean, I love those guys, but it’s also nice to mix it up a bit.’

‘Have you spoken to April’s son about the cancellations?’

‘No point. He’ll just say it was an accident. Personally, I’m a little more cynical. Maybe that’s why they were estranged.’

The waiter returned with my drink and I smiled gratefully before turning back to Deb. ‘I thought they were estranged because he sided with his father.’

‘Marvin was quite fond of money as well.’ Deb held up her hand, running her thumb across her fingers. ‘He really stiffed her when they broke up.’

‘His name should have been a red flag,’ commented Petra. ‘Marvin. Good lord.’

‘Poor April,’ said Tessa. ‘What a terrible thing for her to go through.’

I looked at her quizzically. Did she feel the same when Darcy had pushed for the sale of our family home last year? The home she was now living in?

Deb cleared her throat. ‘Well, anyway. Insurance will cover it for us.’

‘Is that Darcy over there talking to that blonde?’ asked Petra, pointing. We all peered in that direction. ‘No, my mistake. Just some other middle-aged guy.’

Tessa settled back in her seat, casting Petra a suspicious glance. Ruby came up and sat on my armrest. Quinn was with her, looking unsteady in heeled boots.

I raised an eyebrow. ‘Where did you get those?’

‘I lent them to her,’ said Ruby. ‘We’re looking for that group I was with yesterday. Have you seen them?’

‘I didn’t even know you were with a group yesterday. How nice. Have you made some friends then?’

‘Yes, Mummy, I have.’ She clapped her hands together with exaggerated joy. ‘We’re trying to arrange a play date. Maybe watch some
Sesame Street
.’

‘Really?’ I ignored the chuckles of those around me. ‘You smell of cigarettes. Have you started smoking again?’

Ruby waved a hand dismissively. ‘Hey, guess who we saw downstairs talking with Lew?’

‘Tom Selleck?’ said Petra hopefully.

‘Who? No – Ashley! You know, from home!’ She twisted towards me. ‘Did
you
know Ashley was coming?’

‘That’s right!’ Petra grinned as she glanced down at my dress. ‘I forgot he was due today. Int-er-esting.’

I spoke stiffly. ‘I only found out a couple of days ago.’

‘I like Ashley,’ said Quinn. She examined one of her booted feet.

Tessa put down her drink, beaming. ‘Do you know, I just realised! We’re three sets of sisters here!’

‘Not a complete set,’ said Ruby flatly. ‘I have another three sisters at home.’

‘Actually four.’ Tessa was still smiling. ‘You’ve forgotten Sophie.’

‘I’ll start including her after I meet her,’ said Ruby rather rudely. She jumped up. ‘C’mon, Quinn, let’s go.’

Tessa stared after her expressionlessly. Then she rose also, smoothing down her jeans. ‘I’m off too. Going to get changed for dinner. I’ve been feeling a little seasick so hopefully food’ll settle it. Were you going to lend me that white top, Deb?’

‘Sure.’ Deb finished her drink quickly. ‘See you two later.’

I watched them leave. Tessa’s jeans were like a second skin.

‘Your daughter needs to learn subtlety,’ said Petra. ‘But Darcy’s a fool. He definitely traded down.’

‘Thanks.’ I smiled warmly.

‘Yes. Hmm, maybe she’s amazing in the sack.’

‘Thanks,’ I said again.

‘So …’ She turned her attention to me. ‘Nice dress.’

‘I packed it before I even knew he was coming,’ I said defensively. ‘And besides, he’s brought someone. Probably that Holly he was going out with.’

She looked at me curiously. ‘Do you regret breaking up with him?’

‘Not really. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want him to regret having forced my hand.’

She grinned, and then lifted her glass. We clinked. The sun had dipped into a miasma of soft peach. Phoebe came onto the deck from the other end and hesitated uncertainly before she spotted Donald and Scott talking at the bar.

‘
There
you are,’ said a voice behind me. I turned to see Yen frowning. She was looking disturbingly slinky in a black silk pantsuit. ‘C’mon, Enid’s waiting.’

‘Enid?’ Petra looked from Yen to me. ‘Why?’

I’d forgotten about the arrangement. I glanced up at the clock suspended over the poolside stage. ‘It’s not even dinnertime yet!’

‘Yes, but she likes to be the first one there.’

I’d had a loose plan of either running into Ashley for the first time here, on the pool deck, or by making an entrance into the restaurant after everyone was seated. I would pause, my wrap dangling from one arm, and casually acknowledge his presence before being swept away by the greetings of others. Being there thirty minutes early alongside an impatient nonagenarian was not quite the look I’d been aiming for. I sighed crossly.

‘What’s going on?’ Petra demanded.

‘We’re having dinner with Enid,’ I said quickly. ‘Doing Yen a favour.’

Petra laughed as she stood. ‘You’re on your own there. I’m off to get changed.’

‘Come
along
,’ said Yen impatiently.

I followed her down the stairs. She was remarkably sprightly for a woman of her age. I chose to see that as a positive sign for my future.

Uncle Jim stood in the foyer outside the restaurant. He was looking suave, if slightly awkward, in a navy suit. He looked more like an ageing Buddy Holly than ever. Enid was by his side, wearing a caftan affair that extenuated her triangular shape. She was leaning on a brass-handled cane.

‘’Lo, Nell, love,’ said Uncle Jim. ‘Thanks for this.’

Enid muttered something that sounded vaguely obscene. It occurred to me that she was not enamoured of our date either. I warmed to her.

‘All right then.’ Yen slipped her arm through Uncle Jim’s. ‘We’d best be off.’

They left quickly, before I could even wish them a good evening. Or ask what to do with my charge once the meal was finished. I kept pace with Enid as we entered the restaurant, to the surprise of the staff who were still putting the finishing touches to the table settings. It was definitely not the entrance I had envisaged.

‘That’s my chair.’ Enid used her cane to point at our table. She made her way over and sat heavily. ‘I’ll have a chardonnay, thanks.’

‘I don’t think the wine waiters are ready to take orders. But, um … okay, how about I get some from one of the other bars?’

She nodded regally, as if doing me a favour. This was going to be a long evening.

I made my way back through to the piano bar, where a cluster of more patient diners were having pre-dinner drinks. I lined up and then realised that I’d managed to catch my wrap in the zip at the back of my dress. I twisted, trying to free it, but it was firmly caught. I draped the wrap over both arms to hide the problem and resolved to visit the bathroom as soon as I had delivered Enid’s drink. Unfortunately, as I took the glasses from the bartender, the wrap immediately slipped free to hang down my back like a cape.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Paisley Woman!

‘Need a hand?’ asked Ashley. He was grinning, well aware of my surprise. He was looking good too, his cragginess softened by a grey vest worn over a loose black shirt and pants.

I mustered sangfroid, a little difficult with a glass in each hand. ‘How are you?’

He nodded, smiling, as if that was answer enough. ‘You should wear orange more often. It suits you. Um, has that dress got wings?’

‘No. Did you know I was going on this trip when you signed up?’

‘Of course. It was part of the appeal.’ He reached around to lift one end of my wrap. ‘What the hell
is
this then?’

I jerked away, managing to spill chardonnay over one hand. ‘Don’t you think it’s a little awkward though?’

‘Well, actually, yes.’ He let go of the wrap, letting it flop against my dress. ‘And to be honest, it takes away from the whole flow.’

‘You idiot. You know what I mean.’

He finally looked serious. ‘Well, maybe a bit. But Christ, we’re not teenagers; we’re two adults who enjoyed each other’s company for a while and then moved on. If anything, it should be worse for me, given you’re the one who dumped me.’

‘That’s not quite what happened.’ I was beginning to find the glasses rather heavy. There was also wine dribbling down my arm. ‘And I meant more that I’ve already got my ex-husband here with his new partner, and now I’ve got you and yours. Even for adults, that’s a little awkward.’

‘Mine?’

‘What?’

‘You said me and mine.’

‘Well, yes. You brought someone with you, didn’t you?’

‘But why would he make things awkward? He’s a pretty chilled dude. Here, let me.’ He took the glasses from my hands. ‘Where are you taking these?’

‘Into the restaurant.’

‘Already?’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘Good food, is it? Okay, you go ahead. I’ll be right behind you.’

I frowned as I watched him detour, with my wineglasses, over to a table in the corner. Lew was there, along with a man with a carrot-top buzz cut. I wondered if that was the chilled dude. I seemed to have been left with little choice other than to continue to stand there self-consciously, or head through to the restaurant. I opted for the latter, pausing along the way to tug my wrap roughly, welcoming the sound of the material tearing free.

‘Ah, company,’ said Enid. She had a glass of wine before her and a bowl of crusty bread. Both were half empty.

‘Oh, you got wine?’

‘Of course.’

‘Okay. Good.’ I smoothed my dress. I wasn’t sure who the chilled dude was, but there certainly didn’t seem to be a romantic component involved.

‘So what’s your story?’ asked Enid. She was peering at me curiously.

‘Ah, um. I’m a newspaper columnist. I’ve got five daughters and two grandchildren. I live in Majic, same as Yen and Uncle Jim.’

‘Don’t mumble. So … married? Divorced? Widowed? Straight? Gay?’

‘Divorced. Straight.’

‘Me too. Straight, that is. Just in case you get any ideas.’

I blinked, and then realised that a small smile was tugging at her mouth.

‘Drinks, ladies,’ said Ashley, placing a glass before each of us. He smiled at Enid. ‘The name’s Ashley.’

‘Enid Hurley. Where did you spring from?’

‘I just joined the cruise today.’ He slid into the chair beside me. ‘Along with my cousin Nick. I’m sure you’ll meet him later.’

‘Does he look like you?’

‘Not much.’

‘Pity.’ She pulled the fresh glass of wine closer and appeared to lose interest in Ashley.

Ashley grinned as he turned to me. ‘It occurs to me that you thought I was here with a female friend.
That
was what you thought might be awkward. Dare I hope there might have been a little jealousy there too?’

‘Depends on your imagination, I suppose.’

His grin widened as he leant back. ‘Oh, I have a rocking imagination.
You
should know that.’

I glanced across at Enid. She was drinking contentedly. I followed suit, but only to buy time. So he had brought his cousin along.

‘And I see you’ve lost your wings?’

I put my glass down. ‘It was actually a cape. But I decided I’d saved enough lives for one day.’

‘What if I need CPR? Would you oblige?’

‘Yes,’ said Enid, buttering a piece of bread.

I was still watching Ashley. ‘Are you flirting with me?’

‘Oh, for goodness’ sake.’ Enid dropped her knife with a clatter. ‘Of course he is! And you’re not supposed to
ask
, just go with the flow.’

A stocky waiter came over with menus, flipping each open as he placed them before us. I read mine without registering a single option. I had expected a certain frisson between us, even when I had thought he’d been attached, but he seemed to have leapt ahead several bases. I was feeling a little blindsided.

‘Are those seats taken?’ asked Tessa. Darcy stood beside her, glancing from Ashley to me. He nodded stiffly.

‘Yes,’ said Enid.

‘That’s fine.’ Darcy looked relieved. ‘We’ll set up camp at the other end.’

Ashley watched them settle. ‘Did he fall into a bucket of bleached teeth first?’

‘Play nice,’ I said shortly.

‘Oh, I will. I’m looking forward to having a drink with the old Darce.’

I glanced at him suspiciously. I had managed to keep the two men apart for much of the time that Ashley and I had dated, mainly for my own sense of equilibrium. I didn’t need that disturbed now.

‘Here we go.’ Ashley had twisted in his chair. The large man from the piano bar stood there awkwardly. He had the pale, freckled skin of a true redhead. He also looked like an ageing American jock – the type that was usually hanging off the back of a fire truck or lined up with his fellow marines. ‘Let me introduce my cousin, Nick Armistead. He’s my cruise buddy.’