Darkness Before Dawn (22 page)

"I don't know, but...just be careful. Dean's nice, but don't try him, dude."

"Don't try him? Are you fucking kidding me?" I shout.

"Just be smart and rein in that temper of yours before you find yourself in some shit you don't wanna deal with. Get Blake and get out of there. I wish I could go, but I still have some shit to take care of."

I hang up with Connor and place my elbows on my knees while I will myself to calm down. I know I need to be open-minded about this. Blake wants her answers and he's one of the only people willing to answer her, but fuck. And what the fuck is Aubry thinking? I'm going to kill him when I see him. I can't wrap my head around why she would contact him and have him meet her at a bar. I decide to call Aimee, which ends up being a bad idea because she tells me that when she left our place Blake and Aubry were already pretty drunk. So Blake drunk dialed Dean, lovely. This just gets better and better. I'm working my ass off trying to build something for us, and she's calling a guy that helped kidnap her behind my back. I shake my head in amazement and turn my attention to the city lights around me. At least she's okay, that's all that matters.

When we pull up to the bar, I take one more minute to calm down before wiping my clammy hands over my dress pants and getting out. I look inside and see Aubry sitting in the bar watching highlights of the game and I anxiously look around for Blake. When I spot her looking beautiful yet sad, so fucking sad, in a dark booth with a guy sitting across from her, I close my eyes and count to ten. I see that Spencer isn't far away from her and is watching them intently, and that calms my nerves some. I walk in and go straight up to Aubry and smack him in the back of the head.

"Shit. What the fuck?" Aubry says, ducking his head and glaring at me. "Oh. Cole."

"Oh. Cole?" I growl. "Oh,
Cole
? Where the fuck is your phone?"

"Out of battery," he slurs, his blue eyes glazed over.

"You're so drunk."

He laughs humorously. "So is Cowboy!" His eyes widen when he realizes his own words. "Shit. She's with Dean."

I narrow my eyes at him, but make no comment before I walk up to the booth they're in and stand with my arms crossed at my chest glaring at both of them. Their hushed conversation ceases and their heads turn to me. When they see me, their eyes go wide. Dean recovers quickly and raises an eyebrow at me. Blake recovers just as quickly and glares at me. She's pissed at me. SHE is pissed at me? Hell no.

"What is that face for?" I ask, feeling my jaw work as I place my hands on the edge of the table, clutching it to try to keep from making a spectacle by chocking Dean and pulling her out of here.

"I don't want to talk to you. You can go home," she says flatly, her eyes blazing, before returning her attention to Dean, which pisses me off even more. I feel my body shake and I grip the table harder.

"You don't want to talk to me?" I ask in disbelief, gaping at her. "You don't want to talk to me? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN THROUGH IN THE PAST HOUR?"

"You need to chill out," Dean says.

I push the table, picturing it hitting his face but it doesn't budge. "Stay the fuck out of this!" I growl, anger taking over my veins. I let go of the table and watch his eyes flash when I lean over to grab him. My ragged breathing and blazing thoughts interrupted by the sound of Blake pounding her small fists on the table, which makes the cups of ice clatter. I blink away the cloud of rage that masks my eyes before looking at her.

Her gray eyes thunder before they become cat-like slits. "You?" she asks, sliding out of the booth to stand in front of me. I take a step back so I can see her face better. "You?" she repeats pounding one fist on my chest. "Fuck. You!" she screams loudly before turning around and storming away. I grab her forearm and pull her back to me, which makes her turn around and glare at me. She then jerks her arm away and proceeds to walk to the front of the bar. By the time I reach her I'm fully aware that every head in this place is turned to us, as Blake sways drunkenly away from me, and I shake in rage behind her.

"Blake, you better turn around and talk to me. NOW," I shout when I get outside.

"Go home, Cole," she shouts back as she continues to walk down the street. Both Spencer and Bruce are scrambling to get on either side of us, and I just want to tell them to leave us alone for a goddamn minute.

"I am going home. We're going home right now, dammit!" I yell back.

She stops walking suddenly, making me crash into her back and put my arm around her waist to keep her from falling. I lean forward just for a second, just long enough to fill my airways with her scent. That flowery scent that makes me think of Spring and sunshine and drives me wild. She turns slowly and shimmies in my hold, pushing me away from her and I step back enough so that I can see her face.

"We," she slurs while sloppily signaling her hand between us, "are not going anywhere. You can go home. I'll talk to you tomorrow." The mixture of the tone of her voice and her troubled eyes makes my heart beat ten times more rapidly than normal. I feel the air constricting in my lungs, as her eyes continue to suck the life out of me.

My stomach drops. "What do you mean?" I ask quietly, ignoring the pain I feel wedging in my chest. The pain that I've felt so many times before, you'd think I would no longer be phased by it. But it hurts. It hurts when she pushes me away.

"I mean that I'm not going home with you tonight. You can go home by your damn self," she says, stomping her foot for good measure. I know she's drunk and acting irrational, but something about the way she's looking at me while she throws her fit doesn't sit well with me.

"Blake, just talk to me. What's wrong? What did I do?" I plead.

She shakes her head somberly, tears pooling her eyes. "What did you not do?" she whispers hoarsely. "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I can't even think straight right now."

I watch her walk away from me again as I mull over what just happened.

"You just gonna let your girl go like that?" Dean's voice asks behind me, snapping me out of my trance.

I turn around to see him leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette, with his legs crossed out in front of him. I blink a couple of times, processing his words and what just happened.

"Stay out of our lives!" I demand, narrowing my eyes at him before taking off in a sprint toward Blake. I run up behind her, lifting her off the ground on my way to the car.

"Put me down, Cole," she demands, which makes me tuck her face into my chest and hold her tighter. When we make it to the car, I put her in the back and sit beside her, and then turn to Spencer who's standing outside of the door.

"Spencer, take my car and take Aubry home, please."

He nods and walks away from us before Bruce turns on the car and drives us away. Blake tries to writhe out of my hold the entire ride home, clawing at me and biting my arm, but I won't let her. She refuses to speak to me but I don't care. I'm not even mad at her anymore, I realize after the fifth time she bites my forearm. I'm just relieved. Relieved she's safe and in my arms, relieved she has to go home with me because all her shit is there, relieved we bought our place together and her name is on the house so she can't just walk away from me. Because walking away isn't that simple anymore, and even if it was, I wouldn't let her.

I rub my forehead and exhale before I kiss her head. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you today. Again."

She pushes away from me and looks at my face, her eyes red and glazed over from the alcohol and tears. I get the feeling she's going to scoot down as far away from me as she can, and this time I won't stop her. Instead, she surprises me by climbing into my lap and wrapping her arms around me, burying her face in my neck as she begins to sob. My heart crumbles for her, the way it does every time she lets me see her pain. I can't imagine what she went through today, seeing her father for the first time. I squeeze her tight against me and soothe her by running my fingers through her hair, the way I always do, because it's the only thing I know to do when she's like this.

When we get home, I walk out of the car still holding her in my arms and carry her to our apartment. After placing her on the couch, I get her a glass of water and some ibuprofen.

"You feel okay?" I ask quietly as she takes the water and pills.

She hiccups a breath and nods once she puts the glass down.

"Do you want to talk about what happened today?" I ask quietly.

She shakes her head and new tears begin to stream down her face. "I can't."

I get up and walk to the kitchen to see if I can find anything to eat.

"What happened at Mark's office?" I ask after putting some bread in the toaster.

She ducks her head down, but not before I catch the hurt look in her eyes. Her hair creates a curtain around her and all I can make out are her pursed lips.

"Blake, what happened there? Why did you even go? He could've brought whatever you needed over here," I respond with a sigh.

She looks up at me for a long moment with narrowed eyes and tilts her head, as if she's contemplating asking me a question. I raise an eyebrow expectantly.

"Why do you care if I go there or not?" she asks harshly.

I shoot her a confused look. "I just don't understand why you went. You know he would've brought whatever you needed. You didn't have to go there!"

"Are you worried because you didn't want me to run into your dirty little secret?" she seethes.

I gape at her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She shakes her head slowly, giving me a disgusted look. "You and Barbie. Or Skipper. Or whoever the heck she is! The blond from Mark's office!"

"What?" I ask in a quiet voice as I try to figure out what she's talking about, until it all comes back to me. Oh. Fuck. "No! Blake-"

"Don't." She gets up, clutching the small glass of water in her hand. "Don't you dare. I don't even want to talk about this right now."

She begins to walk the opposite way and I follow, ignoring the chime of the toaster and sprinting around the counter. When I get to our room she's sitting on our bed, her back facing me as she looks out at the view of the city from our floor to ceiling windows.

"Baby, what did she say?" I ask, feeling the adrenaline rushing in waves through my body, my mind running a mile a minute.

Blake turns her head and glares at me. I don't think I have ever seen her so mad...since Sasha, and that scares the shit out of me. While she works her jaw and glares at me, I try to figure out ways to get that lying whore fired from Mark's office tomorrow.

She shakes her head slowly before standing up. "Get out," she demands.

"I'm not going anywhere! Whatever she said, she lied to you, Blake!" I grit, trying to control my own anger. She will not have the last word. Not today. Not with this.

"Get the hell out, Cole. I swear to God-" she starts.

"Shut up!" I interrupt and just as I open my mouth to say something else, she extends her arm and throws the glass she's holding at me. I move out of the way quickly, my eyes following the flying cup as it hits the wall behind me and shatters, pieces of glass flying everywhere around me, just like everything else in my fucking life.

"What the fuck?" I say dumbfounded, unable to grasp what just happened.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" she bellows so loudly, I'm sure the neighbors can hear us.

I walk over to her, fuming, until we're chest to chest.

"I didn't do anything with that lying slut!" I yell and watch her recoil and back up a step.

"Then why would she say you did?" she counters, placing her fisted hands on her hips.

"Because she's a whore! She tried to do something with me, but I refused and she's pissed. I. DON'T. KNOW.
BLAKE!"
I shout, throwing my hands up in frustration.

She blinks, tears clumping her long lashes together. "Why were you even in that situation?" she asks in a broken voice and my stomach drops.

"Baby," I start, extending my arm to hold her to me, but she backs away further.

"NO. Do
not
baby
me, COLE! I was living in somebody's fucking basement with people doing illegal things right outside the door. I lost my baby. OUR baby!" she says, breaking into heaving sob before wiping her face and continuing, "I was emotionally and physically abused...and you...you were out partying?" she whispers hoarsely, crinkling her eyebrows in disbelief as more tears trickle down her face. The pain in her beautiful eyes is so palpable that it makes me want to go back in time and right all of my wrongs. Right all of the things I did when we were broken up. Go back and kick every ex-boyfriend of hers in the head for not being good enough for her. It makes me want to kill Benny and kill Alex and kill anybody who ever hurt her before me. But most of all it makes me want to die for hurting her, for not being there for her, for letting her push me away and thinking that it was okay to walk away.

"No. I wasn't. I swear I wasn't," I say softly, ducking down to look directly into her eyes. "I was a mess without you, Blake. A mess. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think. I went to a little bar down the street with some friends from college for a couple of hours. I had already been drinking, that was all I could do to temporarily numb my pain while you were gone. I got there and drank some more. I got up and went to the bathroom and that girl followed me in. She wanted to do stuff, I didn't...I couldn't. Blake, I couldn't. I wouldn't. I swear on my life, baby. She tried, I told her to fuck off. That's it, I swear."