Darkness Before Dawn (15 page)

She laughs. "Yeah, we'll go. Are you taking the key to the hotel?"

"Yeah, I'll leave it at the front desk, though. I'm sorry I don't have time to wait for you, but you know."

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry about it, we got you."

Once that's settled, I shower and shave. I splash water on my face once I'm done and smile at my hairless face, a reminder that I finally got my girl back I start sorting through Blake's drawers, trying to pick something out for her, which is a bitch to do. I'm a good dresser; I know what looks good with what, but she has so many clothes. I end up choosing some loose, ripped jeans and a gray Foo Fighters T-shirt. I figure she'll want to be comfortable. Becky better not say shit about it, either.

Dean and Connor are noticeably absent when I walk by the waiting area, which I'm glad for. I continue down the hall, checking in with the security guard, when I see Bruce walking up to me with a worried look on his face.

"What happened?" I ask before he says anything.

"Blake asked to see Dean," he replies with a shake of his head. I look around and notice Spencer is nowhere to be found.

"And you let her? Are you out of your damn mind?" I growl. "What the fuck is she thinking?" I say as I storm over to her room.

I swing the door open and look around the crowded room. Aubry, who is standing beside Blake, puts his hands up in defeat. My feet stay frozen on the spot when I see Blake standing in front of Dean, staring at him with tears running down her face. Both Connor and Aubry have their hands on her shoulders.

"So they've been using me as some sort of pawn?" Blake asks Dean, snapping me out of my trance, making me step toward them.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" I ask Dean as I walk up to Blake and bury her face in my chest. She lets out a muffled sob against me before turning her head and placing her cheek against me.

"I asked you a question," I say loudly.

Dean shakes his head and shrugs his shoulder. "Not my place to say."

I feel my body burning from the inside as I continue to stare at him. He has an attitude that mirrors my own, and normally that would be a good thing, but between the way he looks at my girl and the fact that he helped take her—I will never like him. To add insult to injury, Blake acts like the motherfucker is welcome around her, and it pisses me off to no end.

"Cole, just drop it, please. We'll talk about it later," Blake whispers against my chest, making me get even angrier, but when I look down and see her pleading eyes, I let out a deep breath and nod.

"Has the doctor come by?" I ask as I caress her face lightly. Her eyes gleam at me and she gives me a small smile before nodding. "Are you ready to go home?" She nods enthusiastically which makes me smile and duck my head to kiss her.

I look up, still reeling from the information Dean gave me earlier, and catch him watching me intently from across the stuffy hospital room. I'm not sure how he can be so casual in such an uncomfortable situation. Cole has been shooting daggers at him since he got here, yet there he is leaning against the wall with his legs crossed out in front of him—not a care in the world. I know he's used to dealing with much scarier people than Cole, but still. I don't think I've ever met a man that's not afraid of Cole ripping their head off. Maybe he just doesn't get it, poor bastard. I shake my head and drag my eyes away from his to Cole, who's standing on the other side of the room watching me as well.

"I'm ready," I announce once I have my shoes on. Both Cole and Dean lean forward and walk toward me, Dean stopping short and smirking when Cole shoots him a warning glare. Cole reaches me and holds me at arms' length, his eyes traveling up and down my body a couple of times before he pulls me into his side. I take a deep breath looking around once more and make a silent wish that I never have to visit this place again.

I hug all of the nurses and thank them for putting up with us and our dysfunctional friends before one of them wheels me out of the hospital. A mix of emotions washes over me as we take the elevator to the bottom floor, knowing that in a couple of seconds I'll be heading out into the world again. I think of the last time I stepped outside and glance at Dean, who has a clenched jaw and is fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket. He looks over at me and our eyes lock for a couple of seconds before he gives me a small smile and looks at the floor in front of him. When the elevator reaches the bottom, I get up from the wheel chair and hold onto Cole's hand as we walk out. The wind hits me and I take a moment to breathe in the cool air and look up at the dark sky before I turn to say goodbye to everybody. I hug Connor first and he promises to visit me tomorrow to check up on me. I then turn to Dean, stepping forward to speak to him and am thankful when Cole moves back and lets me have this moment.

I see a myriad of emotions in Dean's eyes before they settle into a passive stare. "Thanks for telling me and for helping me," I say quietly.

"No big deal," he replies with a shrug. I gape at him in response, which makes him start laughing. "Really, chick. I'm sorry."

Cole places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently, letting out a harsh sigh when I tell Dean it's okay. I let Cole escort me away, Bruce and Spencer on either side of us as we walk toward the car in the back of the hospital. When we drive off, I see the news trucks on either side of us and the photographers flock to the car to take photos of us. Aubry's been warning me about them being out here, but seeing them makes it all real. Even though the windows of our truck are tinted, I hide my face behind Cole's back to keep them from getting a clear picture of my face. I don't want Benny to get a chance to see me at all, though I know it's inevitable.

I take a deep breath, letting Cole's familiar scent of Christmas and Jean Paul Gaultier wash away my ambiguity.

"You okay?" he asks softly as he leans back and nestles me under his arm.

I tilt my head to look into the night, watching cars drive by and admiring the city lights. I think back to how only a few minutes ago I was still in a hospital bed, and how I begged Aimee to go get Dean so that I could speak to him. When she agreed and Dean made his way over to me, I asked him to tell me everything he knew about me because I couldn't go back to living the way I had before. I couldn't go back to living a shadow of a life, without knowing with certainty who my family was and who they were involved with. I already figured it was mafia related, but I didn't know the extent of it. According to Dean, my grandfather is Brian Benson, THE Brian Benson. After hearing that, I figured everything else would be less daunting, but hearing that the Bensons and O'Briens had a falling out, and in turn, made Benny turn against everybody, didn't make things easier on me. Dean seems to think Benny's vendetta is against my father, who is indeed alive and remarried.

"Blake?" Cole says, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" he repeats.

I turn my face to him, loving the way his big green eyes twinkle in the dim lighting. Loving the way I feel here in his arms, safe. I give him the best smile I can muster as I blink away tears of gratitude. "I think I will be," I whisper honestly.

He nods and pulls me tighter into his side, kissing the top of my head softly as we pull into the parking garage of our apartment.

My hands feel clammy as I walk into the building, and suddenly I'm not so sure I want to be back here. What if Benny is watching us right now? I look skeptically at Bruce and Spencer as they walk on either side of us. I've spoken to Bruce about what happened that day a couple of times and although I know that none of it is his fault, I can't help not trusting him anymore. I cling on to Cole's arm a little tighter and he stops walking, looking down at me with questioning eyes.

He snaps his head up. "Go ahead," he says to our security guards as we reach the elevators.

"Sir, Spencer will go up first and check things out while I wait here with you," Bruce says as Cole waves his response off.

"No, go ahead. I'll take her up by myself in the next one."

Both men look at us with dumbfounded expressions before shrugging and muttering an "as you wish" and getting on.

Cole turns his body to me. "Look at me," he says quietly, and I comply. "Everything is going to be fine."

"I don't trust them," I whisper. "I don't want them watching me anymore."

He frowns before shaking his head on an exhale. "Baby, we need the security," he says as he combs my hair away from my face. "If you want we can get new people, but you can't just parade around by yourself."

I shake my head. "I'm not planning on it."

His eyes soften as he regards me. "Good, because I don't think I can handle another blow to my heart."

I sigh. "I guess we'll keep them for now, but I don't know, it just feels weird. Will Connor be around too?" I ask quietly.

His face grows serious as he searches my eyes and takes both sides of my face in his hands. "Yeah, unless you don't want him to be? I trust him though, and I know you'll like him. He's really excited to have a cousin, you know? And if you don't feel safe with Bruce and Spencer, we'll get rid of them." I give him a small smile and he leans in to kiss me softly.

"I want Connor around," I whisper quietly. Truth is, I get a good vibe from him, and he gives me an ounce of hope that maybe my family isn't all that bad.

"Good," he replies with a nod as he tilts his head to search my face. "Now, let's go home, yeah?"

"Yeah," I reply quietly, feeling a little less breathless, despite the lack of air in my lungs.

The walk to our apartment is long, as I take my time, savoring each step of freedom that I take. Every step brings me closer to our home together, our life together, the life I've been missing for the past month. When we open the door, I see a fury of red hair bouncing toward me, making me gasp and take a step back.

"Blakey!" she shrieks as she wraps her arms around me, her large, obviously pregnant midriff crashing against me. My breaths start coming in gasps as I wrap my own arms around her and begin to weep. I see a large figure from the corner of my eye before feeling Greg's big brown arms wrap around both Becky and me.

"I missed you so fucking much," Becky says in between sobs.

"We're so glad you're safe," Greg says above us.

"Let the girl breathe!" Aubry shouts from behind us, making us step away from each other and chuckle as we wipe our tears.

I fully take in Becky's short navy wrap around dress that hugs her body perfectly, and I can't stop my tears from running. Despite my broken heart, I step forward and place my hands on her pregnant belly. A soft sob escapes her as she places her own hands above mine.

"I heard. I'm so sorry, babe," she whispers.

Once I'm sure the knot in my throat will let me speak, I clear my throat. "I'm so happy for you," I say quietly. And despite the sadness I feel about my own lost pregnancy, I am happy for them. They tried to get pregnant for so long, and I know it's unfair for me to feel the pang that I feel in my chest. I turn to Greg and smile at him. "Congratulations, Gregory."

His mouth turns up slightly before he steps forward and wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. "I love you, Cowboy. I'm sorry for your loss. I missed you so much." I feel new tears sting my eyes before I rapidly blink them away. I will not cry anymore, dammit!

Cole walks over and hugs Becky and Greg before putting an arm over my shoulder and pulling me into him. "You hungry, baby? Becky stocked our fridge."

"I wanna shower first, is that okay?" I ask, looking from face to face.

"Of course, we're not going anywhere!" Becky responds, sitting down on the couch and perching her feet on our coffee table, which makes me smile.

I excuse myself and walk to my room in long strides, soaking in every detail of our apartment. Everything looks the same. My jean jacket is still thrown over the back of a stool in the kitchen. My slippers are by the sliding glass door that leads to the balcony. The memories of that day make me shudder slightly as I open my bedroom door. Stepping in, I frown at the disheveled gray sheets on our bed, the same ones on it when I left that day. I feel Cole's warmth behind me before his arms wrap over my shoulders from behind.

"You okay?" he murmurs against my hair. I nod in response before turning my body around to face his.

"You didn't make the bed," I say quietly. Cole is anal about making the bed in the morning. So much so, that if he leaves the bed unmade and comes home throughout the day, he makes it before he leaves again, whereas I just always leave it unmade.