Darkest Longings (60 page)

room, sitting beside the fire in the deep, worn armchair

Louis had always used. Her eyes were wide and staring, and

Claudine’s heart turned over as she saw how harshly she

was wringing her hands. As they walked in, Doctor Lebrun

and Father Pointeau got to their feet, but Francois ignored

them as his mother’s tormented eyes met his. They all heard

her choke, then turned away as a heartrending cry broke

from her lips and she stumbled into her son’s arms.

Solange’s body was racked by sobs as Francois led her

from the room, and as the door closed behind them

Monique turned to Claudine, burying her face in her hands.

‘Poor Maman!’ she cried. ‘Oh, poor, poor Maman! What

is she going to do without him, Claudine? He was her whole

life.’

‘Ssh,’ Claudine whispered, putting her arms around her.

‘Francois will take care of her. So will we.’ She took the

glass of brandy Lucien held out, and put it to Monique’s

lips. ‘What was it?’ she said quietly, looking at Doctor

Lebrun. ‘How did he die?’

‘He had a heart-attack,’ the doctor answered, shaking his

head sorrowfully.

‘It could have happened at any time,’ Lucien added. ‘We

all knew that. But it still comes as a shock.’

They all looked up as the door opened and Jean-Paul, the

butler, came in. ‘Monsieur asks if you will wait to speak to

him,’ he said to Doctor Lebrun.

Doctor Lebrun nodded, and Jean-Paul went quietly from

the room. Many of the staff had left now, either to join the

army or to go to work in the factories, but there was still

Arlette, the cook, and the ladies’ maids who would need his

comfort that night.

‘I want to go to Maman,’ Monique said, but as she started

towards the door Father Pointeau put a hand on her

shoulder.

‘Leave her for now,’ he said. ‘She needs to cry, and

Francois is the only one she feels she doesn’t have to be

strong for. She’ll sleep soon anyway, the doctor has given

her some pills.’

Monique allowed Claudine to lead her to the sofa.

Lucien came to sit the other side of her and Claudine held

them both as they wept and talked of their memories,

laughed, and wept again.

It was long past midnight by the time Claudine and

Lucien took Monique up to bed. Then, hugging each other,

they parted outside her door and Claudine went up to her

apartment.

Despite her tiredness and the dull, distant ache around

her heart, she could feel the gnawing pangs of hunger. It was

hours since she had had a meal, but she knew that if she

tried to eat she would be unable to. Francois was with

Doctor Lebrun now, they had been together for some time

but it wasn’t only that which told her there was something

odd about Louis’ death, it was the way Francois himself had

reacted to the news.

More than an hour passed before she heard his footsteps

on the stairs, and as the door to the sitting-room opened she

turned away from the fire to look at him. His anger seemed

to have abated, but his pale, scarred face was ravaged with

exhaustion.

‘You should have gone to bed,’ he said.

‘I wanted to wait.’

His eyes were blank as they looked into hers, but when

she took a step towards him he turned away. ‘Go to bed,’ he

said.

‘Francois,’ she pleaded.

‘No!’ he cried angrily. ‘Just go to bed.’

But she put her arms around him anyway, and to her

relief he pulled her against him and buried his face in her

neck.

They stood like that for a long time, neither of them

speaking or moving. The only sound was the wind outside

and the gentle tick of the clock.

‘Come along,’ she said finally. ‘Come to bed.’

As he raised his head she looked up into his face and saw

that his eyes were dry and empty.

‘I can’t,’ he said gruffly.

‘But you must, you’re exhausted.’

He shook his head. ‘I mean, I can’t come with you.’ And

before she could protest, he pulled away from her, saying,

‘Go to your room. Go now, before …’

‘But Francois …’

‘No, Claudine! I know what you’re going to say, but you

must forget what happened between us today. You must put

it from your mind, pretend it… Get your annulment, marry

Armand. Then get as far away from me as you can, do you

hear me? As far away as you can.’

‘No!’ she cried. ‘I can’t pretend that I don’t feel the way I

do, and neither can you. We’ve got to stop this, Francois!

You love me, I know you do …’

He put his fingers over her lips. ‘Don’t say any more. Just

do as I tell you, Claudine. Please!’ And before she could

protest any farther, he walked into his room and locked the

door behind him.

He knew that it was going to take a great deal more than a

mere door to shut her out now, and as he stood in the middle

of his darkened room, staring sightlessly down at the bed, he

could still feel the softness of her body against his and the

raging need to hold her again. But the death of his father

had been a cruel and senseless reminder of why he could not

give in to the demands of his heart. He still had no way of

knowing if Halunke had been responsible, but the timing

was too much of a coincidence for him to ignore, despite

what Doctor Lebrun had told him. It seemed Louis had

been down at the chapel, praying, when his heart went into

arrest. There had been no one around to help him, but he

had managed to drag himself to the door, where Armand

had found him. By then he was already dead.

His one hope now was that Erich had managed to get to

him before he died - he simply could not bear the thought of

Louis going to his grave in the belief that his eldest son was a

traitor. But whether Erich had reached him or not, there

was no possibility now of being disinherited. He was already

the Comte de Rassey de Lorvoire, and nothing he or anyone

else could do would change that.

And that was why, in his heart, he knew that there was

more to his father’s death than Doctor Lebrun realized.

Halunke was here, he could feel it in his bones. Von

Liebermann had sent him as retribution and reminder.

Squeezing his eyes tightly closed, he let his head fall

forward. Dear God in heaven, how was a man to choose

between his family and his country? He would never dare to

risk deceiving the Germans again, not after this. And yet…

perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps the death had been as

Doctor Lebrun said. As long as there was doubt, there

might still be a way …

He was woken early the following morning by a knock on

his door, and as Jean-Paul came in with the letter on a silver

salver, he knew even before he opened it that the shred of

hope he had clung to was already gone. Inside the envelope

was a single sheet of paper, and on it was written just one

word - Louis.

Over the next few days, as first Tante Celine arrived and

then her father, Claudine watched Francois build a barrier

around himself so invincible that she feared she might never

get through to him. He went out of his way to avoid her, and

though it hurt her deeply to do it, she decided to keep her

distance too, knowing that her presence only brought him

pain. But she always knew where he was, and if he wasn’t

with Solange or in the nursery with Louis and Corinne, he

was out riding in the forest. When he returned, soaked by

the rain or frozen by the wind, she could see he was still no

closer to sorting out the confusion in his mind than when he

had set out. Occasionally she would find him watching her,

maybe at the breakfast table, or as she walked up the stairs to

their apartment - but the instant she met his eyes he turned

away. They had barely spoken since the night of Louis’

death, yet somehow she knew that she was almost constantly

on his mind, and instinct told her that he was trying to reach

a decision concerning their marriage.

Then one morning she saw him talking to Armand

outside the wine caves. She watched from an upstairs

window, dreading to think what he might be saying. But no

matter what, and even if he told her there could never be

anything between them, she had made up her mind that she

would remain his wife until the day she died. He couldn’t

stop her loving him - but how much easier it would be for

them if he could find it in himself to trust her! To tell her

what was going on … When he left, as she was sure he

would sooner or later, and Lucien rejoined his regiment,

she would be responsible for Solange and Monique. And if

they faced a threat as dangerous as she now suspected, then

the only way she could see of combating it was to know

precisely what it was.

It was in the early hours of the morning following the day of

the funeral that Erich von Pappen finally came to the

chateau. Francois let him in through the nursery landing

and led him past Claudine’s bedroom to the sitting-room.

‘How is Elise?’ he said, knowing that von Pappen had

been with her for the past five days.

‘Better now,’ von Pappen answered, taking the cognac

Francois held out. He went to sit on the chair beside the fire.

‘It was the worst I’ve seen her,’ he said with a sigh, ‘or I

would have come sooner.’

‘She was bad the night I was there,’ Francois said,

lighting a cigarette. ‘She woke up screaming, but when I

went into the room she wouldn’t let me near her. She

thought I was Halunke.’ He drew on his cigarette and

inhaled deeply. ‘It was terrible, I’ve never seen anything like

it. It was as though she was possessed by some kind of

demon. I guess she is, if fear is a demon.’ He paused for a

while as he remembered that night, and how she had

gnashed her teeth, torn her hair and thrown herself savagely

against the wall. But once she recognized him she had

allowed him to carry her back to bed, where he had lain with

her, holding her in his arms until she had finally fallen

asleep again.

From the corner of his eye von Pappen watched Francois

curiously. He had been in Francois’ employ for five years

now and probably knew him better than any man, which was

why he was so quick to detect the change in him. He wasn’t

sure yet what it was, except that the customary harshness

was absent from his eyes. Perhaps the death of his father

had in some way softened him - which, von Pappen

decided, was no bad thing, providing it didn’t in any way

affect his judgement.

‘I just wish to God she knew who he was,’ Francois

sighed. ‘What about you, have you come up with anything

yet?’

Von Pappen twitched as he too lit a cigarette. ‘No. But I

think I’m a little closer now than I was before.’

‘Oh?’

‘I still have no idea who he is, but I think his revenge could

have something to do with Hortense de Bourchain after all.’

Francois showed no sign of surprise. ‘What makes you

say that?’ he asked, going to sit on the sofa.

‘I don’t know. It’s just a hunch, but it’s one I’m going to

pursue a little further.’

Francois said no more on the matter. This was von

Pappen’s way; and as soon as he had anything worth reporting,

he would do so. ‘Did you see my father before he died?’ he

asked, feeling himself tense in dread of the answer.

‘Yes.’

‘You told him everything?’

‘Yes.’

Francois’ relief was evident. Grinding out his cigarette

and lighting another, he said, ‘So what happened that

morning?’

Von Pappen twisted in his chair so that he could see

Francois better. ‘I did as you said, and made contact with

Corinne,’ he told him. ‘She arranged for me to meet the

Comte down at the mairie first thing in the morning. The

Mayor of Chinon was due to arrive at eleven, with a

delegation of officials from Tours, to discuss the distribution

of rations. I was to go in as an early arrival from the

delegation - in disguise, of course - which I did. By the time

the delegation arrived I had managed to persuade your father to disown you, and though he was unhappy about it, he was finally persuaded that it was the only way. I stayed for the meeting, and as we left the Comte whispered to me that he was going over to the chapel to pray for you, and that I was to tell you that he loved you deeply. That was the last time I saw him. I knew nothing of his death until Beatrice told me when I arrived back in Paris.’

Francois’ face was strained. He took a deep breath and let

his head fall back against the sofa.

Von Pappen waited quietly, puffing on his cigarette and

staring down at the flickering flames in the hearth. ‘I am

truly sorry, Francois,’ he murmured finally. ‘I know how

much he meant to you.’

They both looked up as the door opened and Claudine,

pulling a blue satin neglige around her, came into the room.

Von Pappen immediately got to his feet, and as Francois looked at her, her beautiful face flushed from sleep and her raven hair tousled around her shoulders, he felt the pain of