Darkest Dreams (38 page)

“Now all we can do is clean him up and pray he doesn't develop a high fever. If infection sets in, he'll lose his arm anyway. During the Crimean War an injury like that did cost a man his arm. We'd have to amputate and cauterize before—”

The world went completely black, and all that I could think was I was falling off the ends of the earth and would disappear forever.

 

 

When I awoke, it was to Cassie and Gemini's concerned faces in my own bedroom in Killdaren's Castle and I learned an entire day had passed.

“Alex,” I said, scrambling up from the bed, my head throbbing.

Cassie pressed me back upon the pillows. “Is alive. Now you need to take care of yourself.” She looked quickly away and busied herself with the counterpane.

I grabbed her hand.

“Bloody hell, is he insane?” I exclaimed as I read her thoughts. Burning with a fever, wounded Alex had left Dragon's Cove and was currently sailing along the treacherous coastline, making ever-widening circles, dredging a fishing net through the water in his search for a body. Sean had hired an army of men.
 
Half of them were guarding Killdaren's Castle, and the other half scoured the shore. While being transported in a cart with his hands bound, Constable Jack Poole had escaped, even though he had been unconscious until that point. His guards chased him to the cliffs of Dragon's Cove where he jumped into the sea. His body had yet to be found.

“Good God. This is awful.” I released Cassie's hand and pushed back the covers.

“Andromeda Andrews! Just exactly what do you think you're going to be able to do about anything?” Gemini asked, her face flushing with anger.

“You've already done what you can,” Cassie added. “Now it's time to let the men do what they can.”

“
You're
saying that?”

She cleared her throat. “This investigative stuff is entirely too dangerous. We've all come close to dying this summer, and I am declaring an end to it. Are there any arguments from either of you?” She looked at Gemini, who shook her head. Then Cassie glared at me.

“I—no.” Sighing, I leaned back again. “What about Sir Warwick? Surely he didn't escape as well.”

“No. The earl's half-brother is hovering on the edge of the very painful death of being gut shot. Dr. Luden, who refused to give the man anything for pain, says that he'll be dead in a day.”

“Not that it's important, but why didn't anyone ever say they were brothers?”

Cassie shook her head. “No one knew except the earl. Apparently Warwick's mother was the ward of the Earl of Dartraven's grandfather. The Earl of Dartraven's father, who was engaged to a relation of royalty, seduced Warwick's mother. They set her up in a nearby manor and married her to a poor local barrister named Warwick. Had they done what was right, Warwick by all rights should have been the Earl of Dartraven. Warwick spent his whole life doing and saying everything he could to subtly ruin the earl and his family.”

“Prudence and Rebecca,” I gasped, realizing that I didn't know what had happened to them.

“They are fine, and I expect will be even finer very soon. The earl has asked Prudence to marry him.” Gemini clasped her hands, giving emphasis to her words.

“It's about time.”

“Well, it's not official yet.” Cassie smiled, as if enjoying a secret.

“What?”

“Prudence has informed the earl that she'll accept his offer shortly, but wants a wee bit of time to assure herself he can be the attentive husband and loving father she and Rebecca deserve.”

I smiled, feeling all tingly that Prudence had realized her own worth as a person and wasn't going to settle for what crumbs life dished out to those not willing to grasp their own happiness when it passed them. I clasped my hands and felt the familiar curl of the golden, green-eyed serpent around my finger—Aphrodite's ring. Looking into its eyes brought an odd feeling of unrest to my heart. Had I done that? Had I let happiness pass me by without even trying to grasp it?

No. How can you grasp what doesn't exist? If in those moments of absolute dire emotion Alex didn't love me, then he never would.

 

 

I met Jamie for the first time the very next day when I walked into the kitchens to pilfer a scone. I hadn't felt much like eating, but Mrs. Murphy had the entire castle smelling so strongly that my mouth watered despite my lack of interest. I'd
had
to get out of my bed.

At first Jamie's sheer sized took me aback, and I wondered if I'd suddenly shrunk to the Lilliputian size depicted in
Gulliver's Travels
. He stood towering above Stuart, Mrs. Frye and Mrs. Murphy. He was very pale and trembled with every movement. It was then that I saw how baggy the clothes he wore were. He'd apparently lost a tremendous amount of weight.

“Scones, Jamie, fresh scones just for you.” Tears were streaming down Mrs. Frye's cheeks.

“N-n-no,” Jamie cried. “C-c-can't. S-s-sick.”

It would take time for Jamie to heal. I tentatively walked farther into the kitchens.

Mrs. Frye gasped and turned away.

Jamie looked at me, and I wanted to cry from the bruises on his face. “M-m-mary?”

I decided to follow Cassie's lead. There would be time enough when Jamie was well to learn my name. “Yes. Remember? I need you to help me. You have to eat to help me.”

“Broth?” I looked at Mrs. Murphy. “Do you have some?”

She pointed to a bowl and spoon on the counter.

“Sit before you fall down, Jamie,” I told him firmly as I shoved a stool behind him and tugged on his sleeve. When I touched him, I could see his thoughts. He was afraid. Food had made him sick in the prison, and he thought all food would make him sick now.

“Jamie, this food won't hurt you. It is good food now. You won't get any bad food any more. Do you understand?”

“G-g-good. M-m-mary?”

“Yes.”

“Hurt you,” he cried. “M-m-mary hurt you.”

I saw it then. How Jamie had been trying to help a wounded fox that had run into the caves. Maybe he'd seen the fox while searching the shore for Mary. He'd followed the fox and had found Mary's body then in the chamber under the Circle of the Stone Virgins. He'd cried and cried. From the image in Jamie's mind, Mary had been dead for some time. If Jamie confused Cassie and Mary, no wonder Cassie's appearance had upset him.

“This is medicine, Jamie. Medicine to make Jamie well to help.” I held the bowl of broth in my hands and gave Jamie the spoon.

He took a shaky spoonful, then several more.

“Thank God,” Stuart said. “I'll be back shortly.”

He crossed the kitchens. “Where are you going, Stuart Frye?” Mrs. Murphy asked. “I've fresh scones that need to be eaten.”

“I'll be back. First I have to speak to my father. The earl said he had some horses for sale.”

“What are you going to do with horses now?” Mrs. Frye asked as she cautiously drew closer to where I stood next to Jamie.

“Haven't you heard of the Frye brothers, Mother? They're famous. They're the best horse breeders and trainers in all of Ireland.” There were tears in Stuart's dark eyes.

Mrs. Frye shook her head in confusion. She started to say something else to Stuart, and I touched her sleeve, drawing her attention to me. “Every man has to have a dream,” I whispered. “And every woman too.”

I didn't have one.

“I stopped dreaming a very long time ago,” Mrs. Frye said. “Dreams are for fools.”

I blinked at her, wondering if I would be just like her forty years from now. “No. Dreams belong to those who are alive, not to fools. Fools are the ones who don't believe in them. They shrivel up and die inside.” I slid the bowl into her hand. “The food in prison made Jamie sick, so now he thinks all food will make him sick. If you want him to eat, for now you have to tell him it's medicine until he gets well enough to understand.”

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Cassie's sister and hopefully not a fool.”

The scones turned out to be the most delicious meal of my life. Later that day, when I told Cassie and Stuart what I'd seen, they'd both cried, tears of guilt and tears of relief to finally understand what had happened. But that was the only relief in the tension winding around Killdaren's Castle. The rest of the week passed as if everyone was holding their breath. Sir Warwick died and was buried. Cassie, Gemini, Prudence and Bridget lit a fire for him and burned all of the gruesome cards from the music room. A second week passed, and we knew we were going to die if we didn't get out.

Alex's ship had docked three days before, so I knew he'd received my letter, thanking him for saving me and wishing him a happy life.

Sean, who had gone to Dragon's Cove to see him, said Alex had lost some weight, but looked well. He didn't tell me anything else, and I curled my hand into a fist, refusing to give into the temptation to touch him and to see Alex's image.

A beautiful fall morning arrived. A morning where the sea and the wind swirled briskly, let loose from the heat of the summer sun to dance excitedly amid the chill in the air. Cassie declared at breakfast that Sean could send an entire army with us, but the women were going into town to shop. Quite frankly we were all aware of the fact that if we hadn't been forbidden to leave the castle, we wouldn't necessarily be dying to leave at the moment. But I could see Cassie's point in that we couldn't spend our entire lives hidden either. Whether Constable Jack Poole had died at sea, or if he ever appeared again to terrorize women, we couldn't stay imprisoned by our fear.

That revelation drove home a very sore point to me, for that was exactly what I had planned to do with my whole life just a month ago. Having lived through the evil of Constable Jack Poole and Sir Warwick, my urgency to leave had eased a great deal. What had once seemed my only choice had now faded to an option. Did I want to live my life alone and hidden?

It wasn't until we were in the back corner of the mercantile store, admiring a section of fashion wares and looking through a number of older issues of
Godey's Lady's Book on Fashion and Patterns
, that I was reminded of the ugliness still in the world.

Two women came in the door, speaking loudly. At the time I was sure it was for me and my sisters' benefit.

“I tell you, Alex Killdaren killed those women and then framed the poor constable and that sad, lonely Sir Warwick. The rich think they can do anything they want regardless.”

I saw red and went steaming across the store. “You ignorant fools don't have a clue what you are talking about and how much a disservice you are doing a great and honorable man! Alex Killdaren had nothing to do with those women dying. The constable tortured women. He raped them, and if they were virgins, he carved their breasts with a sacrificial symbol, and if they weren't he tortured them. He…oh…God…he—”

“Andrie!”

I froze at the sound of Alex's voice and shifted my gaze. He stood across the room, looking more of a pirate than ever, sun bronzed, dark hair longer and wilder, features leaner and harsher. But his full lush mouth was the same.

“You have to let it go,” he said softly. “You can't let that monster haunt you. Hopefully, these women will never know the horrors we've seen. I'd much rather have my incorrigible self impugned than for any woman to know what that man did. It sickens the soul. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

Tears filled my eyes and fell. He was right, my soul had been sickened, and I hadn't let myself grieve or heal.

“Are you ready to marry me yet?”

“No,” I whispered and turned from the store and ran.

He caught up with me outside of the store. “Why the bloody hell not?”

I shook my head and began walking down the street. Killdaren guards followed and everyone on the street stared.

“Andromeda!” Alex shouted. “Damn woman!” He snatched me off my feet and flung me over his shoulder. My breath flew out in a whoosh. I kicked and he grabbed my legs tighter.

“Put me down.” He didn't, and I couldn't read a thing in his mind.

I arched back and looked at the following guards. They were grinning, thoroughly enjoying the spectacle, obviously not seeing Alex as any threat to my well-being. “Fools,” I yelled at them.

Alex marched down the street to the docks. Charging over to the planks, he carted me to his ship and crossed the gangplank, yelling at the men to make themselves scarce, quick. Everyone disappeared, and the guards didn't board the ship. Once Alex reached the far end of the deck, he plopped me on my feet and grabbed my shoulders.

“Tell me!” he shouted. “Tell me why you won't marry? Why would you rather face ruin and being ostracized than be with me?”

Real pain and confusion filled him. I inhaled, trying to see past my own emotions to make him understand. “Alex. You don't
have
to marry me. Whatever the repercussions of our affair are, I am fully prepared to face them. And after last week, I know there aren't any forthcoming consequences either.”

“Hell,” he said, releasing me and raking his hands through his hair. “I didn't mean for it to sound as if I
had
to marry you. I want to marry you.”

“No. You don't. I know. So you don't have to lie to me.”

“I'm not lying.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Good God, woman. You must be the most exasperating person on the face of this earth.” He paced the deck a minute. “Believe me, I wouldn't marry you if I didn't really want to marry you.”

“You don't understand, Alex. I know you don't because…” I drew a bracing breath. “I can read people's thoughts.”

He froze for a long moment; his sharp green gaze searched mine. “What do you mean you can read thoughts?”

I turned and faced the sea, setting my hand on the railing, drinking in the salt and the sun. “Remember that day in town when the man on the boardwalk bumped into me? I had said more to him than I admitted to the constable. And it wasn't anything as like ‘Lou Tiller or Miller' as you suggested. I'd said, ‘You killed her. You strangled her.' When he touched me I could read the thought that he currently had in his head; it was of him murdering his wife. It's that way with most people, most of the time. You're a little bit different for me. I can only read your thoughts occasionally.”