Darkest Dreams (33 page)

He lifted a brow. “People usually check for a pulse to determine that, but this is kind of nice.”

“I'm bathing you, you dolt,” I said, tears of relief and humor blurring my vision. “I think you could be dead and that thing would still work.”

“That thing?”

“Well, what do you call it?”

“I call a penis a penis and a spade a spade, though some men are compelled to name their sex.
 
I'm not.”

“What do they call it?”

“John Thomas. Jack. Roger. You and I can get into the damnedest conversations. I don't care what you call it at the moment. Where in the hell am I, Andromeda? What in the hell are you doing? Why in the hell do you look so bloody awful and why does my head feel like it's been shipwrecked?”

“You don't remember?”

“Remember what?”

Good Lord. “Do you remember anything about today? Your return from Penzance? Our, uh, delayed picnic?”

He shut his eyes and pressed his palm to his head. “The jade figure,” he said softly. “You fell in the ocean… Holy hell…the Kennedy mansion!” He attempted to sit up, but groaned in pain and fell back upon the bed. Even Roger went flat, or whatever it was called.

“You have to take it easy. You have a concussion.” I slid the sheet over him, deciding I'd continue his bath after we talked. Climbing off the bed, I sat in the chair pulled up to the side of the bed. I wet my lips, hoping to ease the dryness of my mouth. “Why did you come to the mansion, Alex?”

“Why? What was I supposed to do? You go home, having nearly drowned, and then thirty minutes later I see you, your sisters and Bridget go breezing past Dragon's Cove in a buggy when I'm returning to speak to you again. I wondered what was so important that you didn't even rest after such a harrowing experience. I followed you. Found the driver knocked out and went running inside the mansion, looking for you, and someone coshed me from behind. Now tell me what in God's name were you doing?”

“Looking for clues as to who killed Lady Helen.”

“Jesus, Andromeda.” He groaned. “I told you to stay out of the investigation. What happened? I don't remember anything after falling to the ground.”

“Whoever knocked you over the head set the place on fire. To make a long story short, Sean dragged you out of the burning mansion. You're at Killdaren's Castle, where he insisted you come. You have to be watched closely for the next day to make sure there aren't any ill effects from your concussion.”

“Was anyone else hurt? How did you get out?”

I told him how we'd escaped through the window.

“You're not telling me everything. You have soot on your face. You smell like smoke, and your skin looks as if you've spent hours in the sun unprotected.”

“When I realized you were in there, Bridget and I went in to find you. We did try and drag you out at first, but we weren't being very successful.”

“You both risked your lives to save me? Were you hurt?” His features were set to a grim line.

“No, everyone is fine. Well, except Gemini. She became so frightened that she fainted and has yet to recover.” Then I told him about the blood on the bed and the picture of Bridget's mother and brother that her sister, Flora, had with her when she left with a mysterious man named Jack, and how she hadn't been heard from since. “We're sure she was murdered there.”

“Will this never end? Good God.” He sat up again, this time forcing himself to stay upright even though his body shuddered from the pain the movement caused. “The killer was there. He set the fire.”

“Yes, did you see who hit you? Do you remember anything at all?”

“No. Where's Sean?”

“He's gone to see the constable.”

“I want to talk to him when he gets back.”

“Under one condition: You lay back and rest until then and let me finish cleaning you up.”

Alex fell back with a groan. “That wouldn't be conducive to rest, but it might make my head feel better if we went with position number two.”

“You're not making any sense.”

“Have you already forgotten the jade figurine, my dear? The one with the woman naked and on top, satisfying herself by riding the man? I want to fill my hands with your breasts, and I want to feel you slide me inside you.”

“Your brain has definitely been addled. The doctor put six stitches in your scalp, and I can promise you that you don't want him to do it again.”

“Not a problem. We'll go very slow. I brought the protection with me when we left for the picnic. It's still in my pocket. I had planned to seduce you on the beach.”

“Well, it's a good thing you didn't. It was bad enough to have Sir Warwick and Constable Poole find us like they did. I can't imagine how embarrassing it would have been to…” I frowned. “What do you mean by protection?”

“A sheath that keeps my seed from spilling into you. You didn't even know I'd put one on and used it when you were propped so prettily on the pillows. That's what I went to Penzance to purchase in such a hurry. I bought three hundred of them, cleaned the apothecary out.”

“Three hundred! Good Lord!” I had to fan my face to keep my cheeks from catching fire.

“Well, we needed enough for at least a month.”

“That would be…”

“Ten times a day. I decided every hour was a bit too much. We do need to eat; speaking of which, you have the most delicious sex. Golden and plump and rosy, a flower that opens for me with the sweetest nectar imaginable. Come here, Andromeda.”

My whole body tingled and burned. “Alex! Will you be serious?”

“I am serious. Don't you want to make me feel better?”

“You're insane.”

“No, but I will be if you don't come here. You make me that way.”

“Never mind. I think we'll finish your bath when you're thinking more clearly.”

A knock sounded on the door. “Come in,” I said.

The earl entered the room. “Alex, I need to speak with you,” said his father.

“I'm not interested in speaking to you,” Alex replied.

“Well, that's too bad, because you're going to hear what I have to say no matter what.”

I stood. “I'll leave you two alone.”

“Stay, Andromeda. The earl is leaving now.”

“Not unless you're strong enough to toss me out on my ear, and by then I will have said what I came to say anyway.”

Alex sat up, looking as if he was going to oust the earl. Then he glared at his lap, and I realized his dilemma. His pants were halfway down his hips. It would not be a very dignified move to stand up, and it would be highly improper because I was here. Not that the Killdarens did anything properly, a trait that I feared the Andrews family fit with all too easily. Alex wobbled a bit and then lay back with a groan. “Make it quick,” he said curtly.

I jumped up. “I'll be outside the door.” The earl didn't even wait until I'd cleared the room before he started speaking. “I've said this to Sean, and now I'm saying this to you. I am sorry.” Though I stepped into the corridor, I could still hear his voice. Surprisingly, I found Prudence there, nervously smoothing her skirt. From the hopeful look in her eyes, I realized she'd heard the earl. We both listened.

“I deeply regret what happened eight years ago and the fact that any harm fell to any lass because of my actions. My intent had been to protect me and mine. Someday I hope you will understand that, right or wrong, you will do anything and go to any length to assure that your children are safe, especially when you have already lost someone you loved. Maybe you will forgive me then. I'll be removing myself from your lives just as soon as this horrific madman has been caught, and I won't be troubling either of you again. Should you have any reason to contact me, you may send word to my estate near Hampton Court.”

Prudence gasped, pain struck her features and she nearly doubled over. It was clear the earl had not informed her of his plans, and my heart went out to her. I reached for her, but she backed away, shaking her head, and ran for her quarters. She disappeared before the earl stepped into the corridor. Rather than saying anything, he just nodded sadly in my direction and turned to leave.

“So that's it?” I whispered. “You're just going to disappear from everyone's lives? Take the coward's way out?”

He froze in mid-step, but didn't turn to face me as he spoke. “Everyone is better off without me in their lives.”

The words I'd been about to say wouldn't come, because what the earl said so mirrored part of my own reasoning for leaving my family and for eventually leaving Alex. But I couldn't just let him walk away. Prudence deserved more and, as flawed as the earl was, she loved him.

“Sophocles wrote almost five hundred years before Christ that ‘One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.' Your life will always be burdened and you will always burden other people's lives unless you find the courage to love again. You may not have had a choice in losing the woman you first loved, but you are choosing to lose the second woman you loved. And the saddest thing about it is you're making Prudence suffer the same pain that you live with day in and day out.”

He turned to face me, his features drawn, in pain, his complexion ghostly white.

“She's in her room,” I said softly. “She heard you say you were leaving.” Turning from him, I started for Alex's room, but went to Gemini's instead. My emotions were too raw to face Alex at that moment. My situation with my family and Alex was nowhere near similar to the earl's with Prudence.

Chapter Twenty-One

I found Cassie asleep in Gemini's bed, cradling Gemini's head against her shoulder as if she were a fragile child. As I crossed the room, I earnestly prayed that Sophocles's words would prove true. Something needed to remove the weight and pain of what happened to Flora from Gemini's mind, and all Cassie and I really had to fight such a horror was our love.

I set my hand on Gemini's arm, searching for her thoughts, but found nothing but an inky darkness so desolate that tears stung my eyes.

“Nothing yet?” Cassie whispered.

I met her sleepy gaze and shook my head.

She forced a smile. “Don't worry. There's time yet.”

I sat on the edge of the bed and clasped Gemini's hand in mind. “I keep thinking back, wondering what we could have done differently today. There was no warning in Gemini's thoughts that the screams were hurting her so badly. All I could read from her was that she had to help.”

“We never should have gone. My stubbornness and pride let this happen to her,” Cassie said.

“No. You're wrong. In fact, it may be a good thing that we all went together. Ever since Mr. Drayson mentioned the haunted mansion at dinner, Gemini has been fascinated and has mentioned her desire to go there more than once. She would have gone alone. I'm sure of it. And her fate then would likely have been…”

“The same as Flora's?” Cassie whispered.

“Yes.”

Tears fell from Cassie's eyes, and I reached for her hand. “We're going to be all right, Cassie. All of us. Me, Gemini, you, Sean and the babes inside of you. And Alex. Both Alex and Sean are reasonable men…well, mostly reasonable men, and I think we've seeded enough doubt in Sean's mind that the Dragon's Curse doesn't have as much of a hold as it did. The truth is shining through. The fact that Sean brought Alex here is very telling.”

“I know. I'm holding that very close to my heart at the moment. What about you? Surely after everything that has happened today you can't still believe that you and Alex have no future.”

“I'm not sure,” I said slowly. “I have decided that I will tell Alex when the time is right. Then we will see. Do you want me to sit with Gemini for a while?”

“No. I'm not leaving her tonight. If she wakes she's going to need me. And I'm sure Sean will camp out on the divan. Why don't you get a bath and some rest?”

“First, I'm going to check with Mrs. Murphy about dinner trays for everyone and then get back to Alex. I'm fine for now.”

By the time I made the quick trip to the kitchens and returned to Alex's room, he'd fallen asleep. I found his pants and the wet bathing cloths on the floor next to the bed. He'd finished the job himself, it would seem. Unable to keep from touching him, I brushed his hair back from his temple, wishing so much that things between us were different. That I was different. That I was normal.

I then left a maid listening for him and went in search of hot water and soap. When I finished bathing and eating a small bowl of savory chicken soup, I could barely keep my eyes opened. Donning one of my simplest house dresses, I headed back to Alex's room. A quick peek into Gemini's room showed Cassie with Gemini and Sean resting, his long legs dangling over the end of the divan. Empty trays outside the doors told me that everyone had been fed. Night had fallen, and dim shadows filled the castle's stone corridor. I thought about tapping on Prudence's door, then changed my mind. Tomorrow would be soon enough to learn if the earl had had the courage to see her. And by not checking, I'd at least have the hope of a future for them to ease the darkest moments of the night.

Slipping into Alex's room, I dismissed the maid and curled up in the wing chair next to his bed. Unorthodox or not, it was the only place I knew I would be able to get any rest tonight, for alone in my room, I feared my darkest dreams would return with a vengeance.

Alex lay sleeping with several freshly plumped pillows behind him. The covers were pulled up to the middle of his stomach, leaving the broad expanse of his tanned chest, shoulders and arms exposed. I drank my fill of his dark beauty, mentally enjoying all of the pleasurable sensations he'd brought to me. That his life could have been forfeit today wrenched me deeply, made me ache in the very depths of my soul. I loved this man beyond reason, and I had no idea what I would do about it. Was it really my concern for others that had me planning to isolate myself from the world? Or was it my fear of others that had me seeking to escape?