Darker (29 page)

“
Sounds like you’ve been watching a few too many teen party movies,” I laughed, giving in and taking the stomach turning shot. “That crap will rot your brain.”

“
Good. I got you laughing. Now, tell me what’s bothering you.”

The alcohol-induced happiness dulled. Willow was easy to talk to. Telling him the horrible things I’ve done, confessing my dirty little secrets, I never felt judged. With him, I was able to share feelings no words could fully describe. He seemed to understand, always offering words of wisdom from a place beyond my reach. He was a genuine friend, and I didn’t have many of those these days. Of course, the fact that our relationship was platonic helped. It allowed me a sense of liberty. I was able to expose my soul to him without fear.

I swirled my whiskey but pushed away the next tequila shot Willow placed in front of me. I considered the deep golden liquid in my glass, imagining it as red and warm, straight from the vein. Muttering obscenities under my breath, I drank down the liquor, finding it to be a poor substitute.

“
I’m a wolf with no pack, a twin flame divided from my other half and a Hound who is one of the very things I’m supposed to kill.” I slapped a few bills down for the bartender and smiled bitterly at Willow. “How much time do you have?”

“
I’ve got all the time in the world. By all means, talk away.”

“
I’d rather not. I don’t even want to think about it.” With a teasing scowl, I grabbed the drink he continued to push closer and swallowed it with a grimace. “You know, for an angel, you’re a terrible influence.”

Willow snickered. His eyes shone with delight. “What can I say? I’m a rebel. So are you. That’s why both monster and man wants to either control or kill you. It’s a good thing.”

I rolled my eyes but took his words to heart. “Oh yeah, it’s fantastic.”

“
Seriously, Alexa, when the bad guys consider you a problem, it means you’re doing something right. Even if at times you’re one of them.” Willow plucked a lime wedge from the dish and bit into the tart fruit.

I shook my head and snorted with derision. “What am I really though? Wolf, human, vampire? I don’t fit in anywhere anymore.”

“
You’re a Hound of God and the light half of a twin flame union. Those are good things. You exist to fight evil. Bottom line.”

“
Until I become it,” I said with a frown. “Lilah said the twin flame bond is a curse. The worst part is that even though I know she’s a liar, I agreed with her reasons why.”

Willow appeared thoughtful. Even as he downed drink after drink, he was barely drunk. I would have been on the floor after that many.

“
Remember, she’s the dark half of her union. Your roles are not the same. There’s good and there’s evil. And, some creatures walk in both worlds. There is something powerful in being able to experience both the light and the dark. But ultimately, even you must choose a side.”

He delivered that heavy verbal blow by crashing his glass against mine in cheers. My drink splashed over the edge, spilling a few drops in my lap. He received my dirty look with a smile and shoved another shot of tequila in front of me.

His words reverberated in my ears as I mulled them over. Willow was wise. He had a way of breaking things down so they were clear where before they had been confused.

“
Stop making me think. I’m trying to drink away my sorrows here.” I tossed a lime wedge at him, laughing when it struck him square on the chin. The newest Christina Aguilera song pounded out of the speakers, and I perked up. “I love this song. Come dance with me.”

I jumped off the stool. Dancing the night away with whiskey in my blood and sweaty humans at my side likely wasn’t the best way to spend my night, but I needed a break from reality. Jez’s Vegas vacation idea looked better all the time. Since I couldn’t skip town tonight with Lilah killing my wolves, dancing would have to do.

“
Trust me. You don’t want to see me dance. My talents are better spent right here.” Willow waved me off, dismissing me when the bartender placed another half dozen shots in front of him.

I gravitated to the dance floor, watching as a tall redhead moved in on Willow within seconds of my absence. It didn’t surprise me; he was a looker.

A pleasant warmth spread through my limbs from the alcohol. It was such a predictably human way of numbing out. The more I thought about it, the more aware I became of the pounding heartbeats all around me. So much blood to spill. A kill like that could create a high that would last for days. I licked my lips and reminded myself I was here to unwind, to leave that world behind. I never could though; I carried the darkness with me always.

I suddenly wasn’t feeling so hot. Flushed with overwhelming heat, the bloodlust sprang forth. No way, I’d fed that hunger already.

I pushed through the crowd, seeking escape from the crush of lively human bodies. Every breath I took overwhelmed me with their heady aroma. I had to get out.

“
I have to go before I slaughter these people,” I said, grabbing Willow’s arm. The redhead glared darkly and sauntered away. Willow took one look at my panic-stricken face and got to his feet.

The outside air was thankfully free of any strong human scent, overwhelmed by car exhaust and the faint aroma of summer rain in the distance. We stopped at a bench half a block away. I didn’t sit down. Instead, I paced back and forth in front of it, feeling uncomfortable inside my own skin. My wolf was restless.

That was another area of concern. Veryl’s files made it sound like the wolf was lost upon transformation to vampire. Kale said it was still there, trapped inside. I wasn’t sure which was worse, losing my wolf or having it caged within me. They both sounded like a form of hell.

Emotion surged, and I kicked a pop can in misplaced anger. It only served to infuriate me further.

“
Think you can keep your shit together?” Willow lounged on the bench, regarding me with casual curiosity.

“
I don’t know what happened in there. It came over me so fast. I feel a little better now.” Scowling at the pop can, I picked it up and tossed it in a nearby trashcan. “It could be Arys. Sometimes, we can feel each other without trying to. It can be disorienting.”

“
Makes sense. How did that all go anyway?”

I watched a couple across the street walking hand in hand. They leaned into one another, talking animatedly. I envied them.

“
Not so good. I told Arys I need some time apart. Things have been kind of strained between us lately. I don’t know where I end and he begins; it’s driving me crazy.”

I dug through my shoulder bag, seeking normalcy in going through the motions of using lip balm and checking my cell phone. I almost didn’t notice the weird look Willow gave me.

“
It
will
drive you crazy,” he said. “Being apart. You’re not meant to be apart, not now that you’ve found each other.”

I groaned and sat heavily next to him on the bench. “Don’t tell me that.”

“
Sorry to break it to you, but you can’t exist without him. You’re not meant to.”

“
Maybe Lilah’s right. It does sound like a curse.”

Willow harrumphed and flicked my arm hard. “Don’t make me slap that attitude out of you. Do you have any idea how many lonely people would give anything to be bound to another? To share something so sacred despite the hardship that accompanies it. I’ve seen the depths of sorrow-filled loneliness. If anything is a curse, it’s that.”

I rubbed my arm, feeling deservedly rebuked. “I know. I sound like a spoiled asshole. I wish I hadn’t said that. I’m just confused. I don’t know what purpose Arys and I share, and I’m afraid we’ll destroy each other before we figure it out.”

We sat there in quiet contemplation, watching the downtown traffic whiz by. In the distance, I heard sirens. A drunken whoop echoed from outside the club we’d just left. Typical sounds of the city engulfed us.

“
Have a little faith, Alexa. These things tend to reveal themselves when the time is right. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.”

“
Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” I nodded, thinking about Arys. I hated myself for telling him I couldn’t handle it. He had waited so long for me. Bailing out when things got tough was cowardice. I was stronger than that.

Noticing the shift in my mood, Willow nudged me playfully. “Ready to get back in there and drink ourselves into total stupidity? I might even get on the dance floor.”

No sooner had the words left him than two black Escalades screeched to a stop at the curb in front of us. Several FPA agents spilled out like clowns tumbling from a polka-dotted coupe. Many of them pointed what appeared to be tranquilizer guns at me. Agent Thomas Briggs stepped out looking like a man with an agenda. I wasn’t going to like whatever happened next.

Briggs sauntered up flashing the gun at his hip. He held his badge ready like some TV cop. A tensor bandage was visible beneath his jacket sleeve. It wasn’t a cast though, so I must not have hurt his arm as badly as I’d hoped.

I stood up to face him, and all of the agents braced to fire their weapons. I held my hands up in a show of peace yet tapped my power. Being human, they couldn’t see the crackle and color of the energy. Only a human with a strong sixth sense would even feel it.

“
Briggs,” I nodded curtly. “Are you tailing me?”

“
I’m government, O’Brien. I tracked the GPS in your phone.” His steely gaze was unwavering, his stride purposeful. “We need to talk.”

“
What do you want, Agent? Cut to the chase.” I crossed my arms, doing my best to appear unaffected with so many guns trained on me. It would take only seconds for a tranquilizer to take me down.

Willow rose slowly, standing ready beside me. If Briggs didn’t somehow know what he was, I’d like to ensure that it stayed that way. A few of the guns switched from me to him. I wondered briefly if a tranquilizer would have any effect on an immortal.

“
I have a few questions for you. Bit of a delicate nature. I’m sure you understand.” Briggs studied Willow closely, sizing him up. We all knew how deceiving looks could be.

“
And, if I refuse?” I challenged. I needed to know how far Briggs planned to take this.

“
You’re the madam of a vampire whorehouse. That alone is reason enough for me to bring you in. You have ties to the headless body we found. You came uninvited into my facility. Your boyfriend roughed up one of my agents. Not to mention, you’re already on our watch list. Do I need to go on?”

So, Arys had followed through with his intent to beat some info out of Bianca. Couldn’t say I was sorry I missed it, though I was curious what, if anything, he’d gotten out of her.

Briggs had too much on me; I didn’t see a way to get out of this chat.

“
I’m not going back to that building,” I said, visions of the FPA basement danced in my head. I hated that place. “We can talk in public. Right here.”

“
Let’s take a drive.” Briggs nodded toward the trucks. “Alone.”

“
By that, I assume you mean me alone and you surrounded by gun-toting morons.” I glanced around at the agents flanking Briggs. They were mostly men, just a few women. Juliet was not among them.

“
You assume correctly, though, I promise you, I don’t work with morons.” Briggs was patient, awaiting my decision.

I looked to Willow, finding him characteristically calm and cool. I focused on opening my thoughts to him. It was best for him to leave me with Briggs. I could handle it. Willow shouldn’t be subjected to the FPA simply because he liked to get loaded in my company.

‘
Just go, but walk away. Don’t let them see you poof. Check on Jez, if you don’t mind. Make sure she’s safe.’ I pushed the thought to him, hoping it worked. Aloud I said, “I’m going to take a ride with Briggs. If you don’t hear from me within an hour, tell Arys where I went.”

The mention of Arys was more for Briggs’s benefit than mine. I didn’t want Arys to come riding to my so-called rescue, but if Briggs thought he might, this conversation would go a lot smoother.

Willow made a show of checking the time on his phone. “Ok, one hour. Talk to you soon.”

He stood there with arms crossed, giving Briggs a guarded but invasive stare. He watched as I got into a vehicle with agents on every side of me. I managed to flash him a wave and an eye-roll before the doors closed and we pulled into traffic.

Right away, I had four guns in my face. Squeezed onto the seat between a male and female agent, I glowered at Briggs who turned in the front passenger seat to look at me.

“
Alright, Briggs. You got your way,” I said, holding the wolf back. “Now, get those things out of my face and treat me with some respect. I’m not asking.”

“
Is that a threat?” He asked, wary and stern.

“
Does it have to be? If I wanted to taste that rich, arrogant blood, I would have done it last time we spoke.” I raised a brow and smirked. We all knew I was the monster here; if they forced me to act like it, I would.

Briggs regarded me with thinly veiled distaste. The feeling was mutual. After a minute, he waved a hand, and the agents withdrew their guns. I didn’t move a muscle, just beamed a sickly sweet smile at him.

“
So, where’s Juliet?” I inquired expectantly. “Let me guess. She doesn’t know about this little meeting. Just like she didn’t know about the people you’re holding hostage in the basement of that scary ass hospital.”