Dark World: The Surface Girl (17 page)

             
The door opened. Evon’s silhouette disappeared but I couldn't seem to muster up the bravery to follow him into even more darkness. Reese stepped ahead first and tugged my hand gently. Well – I supposed I could muster the bravery with him still by my side. My steps made it past the threshold. The door slammed behind us.
              Before the total darkness had a chance to completely overwhelm the panicked side of me, lights started flickering on. My eyes immediately snapped to the right. The man holding the hand lamp looked familiar. I realized I had seen him working with my dad in the gardens! Another hand lamp flickered on, and another, and soon Reese and I were completely surrounded. How odd that being in a dank, unidentifiable room surrounded by mostly strangers all standing in a half-circle around us actually brought me comfort instead of fear.
              Another man that I recognized from my dad's gardens stepped forward toward Reese and I. He narrowed his eyes at me as if trying to place my identity, but a moment later his brows relaxed and his lips parted.
Evon stepped forward and turned to face us.
              “Reese disregarded our order to stay confined to headquarters because he feared Ruby, Robert's daughter, was in danger. It seems that she too had seen the little girl.” Evon paused and glanced accusing in Reese's direction. “Robert for some reason saw fit to explain our message to his daughter without impressing upon her the seriousness of the situation. She escaped her barracks through the air vents with the intention to find Reese, and oddly enough they apparently did manage to find each other.”
             
We found each other because the place where we found the butterfly means something to us.
             
These men did not have to know that. That place was precious to me, and the reasons why were private. I wanted to keep it that way.
              “Unfortunately, due to Robert's nasopharyngitis and the investigation surrounding it, his family is under confinement and their barracks under guard. When Ruby's disappearance comes to light, Robert and his wife will be at serious risk. Ruby and Reese have asked us to help them.” I don't know what I expected to follow his speech, reluctant as it may sound. I suppose I didn't expect cheers and instant eagerness, but the silence that followed was like a knife piercing my skin and sinking past my ribcage toward my heart. Why were these people shifting their eyes and their weight, glancing at each other hoping someone would break the silence but unwilling for that person to be them? Some of these people knew my father! My father believed in this Order and risked his life, as well as mine and my mother's for its cause and these people were just standing around awkwardly staring at each other!
              I let go of Reese's hand. I felt incomplete without the comfort of his touch and I had to fight to resist the urge to reach for him again. I took a deep breath and stepped forward. “When I was a little kid, my grandfather used to tell me stories about Earth. He made me want to see it and feel it. I started asking questions. Why weren’t we not allowed to leave The Complex? How could we be positive that we couldn't survive up there? I got slapped on the back of my hand with rulers as a result of my curiosity.” I held out my hand to show off my scar. “Robert, my father, is one of you. He
believes
in your cause. He believes this Order can make a difference. He wants a better life for me than meaningless confinement. He risked his life and mine and my mother's because of your cause. So if you don't exhaust every effort you can think of to try and rescue my parents, everything my father believes about this Order is a lie.” Silence followed my speech, but this time the people holding their hand lamps were not shifting or glancing at each other. They were all staring ahead – and I realized, they were staring at
me.
             
One of the men walked forward. My fear urged me to shrink back but I planted my feet on the ground and raised my shoulders even higher. I would not budge. I would not stand down. I would not back off. My words were important. My parents were important. Every move I made had to consistently reflect that.
              The man raised one of his hands and rested it on my shoulder. “Brave words, Ruby. You are your father's daughter. My name is Zane and I'm the Rhode Island Divisional Leader of the Order of the Elements. I give you my word that every effort will be made to try and save your parents, no matter what.” Zane's promise was comforting and assuring. Evon raised his eyebrows. I resisted the tiniest of smug smiles. Zane's words were stronger, more determined and more honest than Evon's had been. I believed Zane actually cared for my parents and I believed he had an honest investment in their safety. My eyes blurred.
              “Thank you,” I choked out while trying to hold my composure. “Thank you.” I wiped at my eyes. Zane gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “My parents mean everything to me.”
              “I know,” Zane replied with the same gentle understanding and honesty. “and you mean everything to them.”

Chapter 9

             
Reese and I were sparing as we ate some crackers. The Order had prepared fairly well, even in their secondary hideout, for the inevitable day when they were found out and could no longer return to their barracks and pretend to be obedient citizens of The Complex, but how long we would have to make their supplies last was, for the moment, unknown to me.
              I was still thirsty but I only allowed myself a third of a bottle of water until morning. Water had to be even more carefully rationed than food; one could survive without food for weeks but without water, we would die within a few days. I recalled learning those basic survival facts in the classroom but I never imagined a day where I would have to put my minimal survival knowledge to use. The Complex was orderly. As long as everyone did their jobs faithfully and obeyed Doctrine, no one ever went hungry.
              The members of the Order gathered on the other side of the room to discuss and decide on a plan of action to help mine and Reese's parents, and we were left to look after a completely terrified child. Every time I glanced over at the little girl huddled in the corner, my heart ached and went out to her. She was even filthier than when I first saw her. She was no longer clad in that strange, puffy suit. Instead, she was clad in our regulation uniform, albeit one far too large for her tiny frame.
              Had someone in the Order forced the girl to disrobe? How horrible and humiliating for her. They could never even hope to earn her trust like that. Her long hair was probably sandy blonde, but it looked wild and almost painfully tangled as if it hadn't seen a brush in years. Her nails were nearly black with dirt. Her arms and legs were so skinny – almost twigs. Despite these things, she was a real person and she was alive. Now that I could see her tiny, frail body even more fully, I knew with certainty that she wasn't a mutation or a monster. She was just a person. If she really was from the surface, she was living proof that all of us in The Complex had been lied to.
              In this little girl's mind, she was a prisoner and we were the enemy. We had literally captured her and we were forcing her to stay in this room. I wanted so badly to find a way to make her understand that we did not want to hurt her, we wanted to protect her. I wanted to explain that the Order only took her into their custody to keep her safe from the government, and that finding her before the flatfoots did had saved her from being put to sleep. But I couldn't imagine telling her those things would do anything to ease her mind, it would only frighten her more and who knows if she would believe me anyway? Why should she?
              The selfish part of me was practically its own entity at this point and it was scratching at the insides of my skin in desperation to be set free. If I let that needy part of me take over, I wouldn't be able to stop asking her my burning questions and demanding immediate answers, one after the other after the other. Fortunately, the terrified version of me was working to keep the selfish part of me contained. Was I anywhere near ready for her to answer my questions, even if I could find a way to earn her trust? I suspected that the well of government lies ran deeper than I could comprehend. I was already on the verge of a complete emotional breakdown and who knew what might send me over the edge for good?
              Reese and I had been given two hand lamps. They were turned on and they sat on the floor in front of us, but they were only strong enough to illuminate a few feet from where they sat. I readjusted my injured leg which was had settled into a dull throb and rested my head on Reese's shoulder. My lids were heavy and desperate for sleep but I couldn't sleep next to a terrified child. She appeared exactly like I felt; shaking, afraid, unsure of who to trust and unsure of what was true or even real anymore. My throat tightened. I wanted to speak to her, to offer her some kind of comfort but I couldn't even comfort myself.
              “It’s okay to eat,” Reese tried to coax her with a gentle voice. He picked up a cracker and slowly extended his arm. Her eyes widened and she made no move to take it from him. She offered no response at all except the slightest narrowing of her eyes. I couldn't blame her for her mistrust. Reese did not lower his arm. “I'm sorry you're here,” Reese continued to try to speak to her. “I can't imagine how confused you must be. If it makes you feel any better, Ruby and I barely know these people, either. They're not keeping you prisoner, you know. I realize it probably seems that way because they brought you here and they don't want you to leave, but they're trying to protect you.” Her eyes narrowed even more and I gave Reese's arm a gentle squeeze to signal him to stop, or at least to not carry that topic any further. She couldn't handle things right now any better than I could. “I'll just leave this here, in case.” Reese set the cracker down on the edge of the blanket that she was curled up on. There were no more blankets for Reese and I so we only had each other's body heat to keep ourselves warm. It gave me more of a reason to curl up against his side. I began to shiver and all of my limbs felt heavy. I was so tired. My whole life, I went to bed at around 10PM each night and rose around 6AM. I had the same bedtime day in and day out and the same rising time. Once in a while my mind would be racing too much to actually fall asleep at 10PM but after a while of laying in the pitch black with no stimulation, sleep always eventually found me. I had no idea what time it was, but hours had definitely passed since 10PM when I was supposed to have gone to sleep. In those few hours, I had changed my life forever, and the lives of those I loved.
              Reese's fingers gently ran through my semi-tangled hair. The gesture only served to bring my attention to the dull sting of the cuts on my own fingertips. My lids, finally too heavy to keep steadily open, drooped once more. I jerked and forced them to widen again but an instant later they were drooping as if weights or anchors were dragging them down.
              “Why don't you get some sleep. I'll look after you and the little girl,” Reese offered and I immediately accepted. I was too tired to reason with myself that he must be just as tired as I was if not even more-so, or that if we failed to keep an eye on the girl, the Order might be unwilling to save our parents. Sleep was pulling at my weakened body and mind and I didn't bother to fight it. The instant I gave in, sleep overcame me.
             
As dreams often do, the one that currently captured my (un)consciousness seemed linear at the time I was experiencing it but the moment I woke up I realized that the things that happened made little sense to the logical mind.
              In my dream, I was sitting on the couch in the living room of my barracks and Grandpa Logan was in his favorite chair. Somehow this didn't feel or seem odd despite the fact that he had been put to sleep six years ago. His dark pupils that were nestled in the middle of the green in his eyes – the same eyes I had. They were deep, bottomless, sad and defeated; two little black holes that lead to an unknown abyss. Something about their endlessness made me shudder with fear and I couldn't articulate why. The room was illuminated with a red glow which at the time seemed completely normal, although when I looked back on it after waking, it filled me with a foreboding, cold sense of dread.
              “I'm sorry that I can't tell you everything,” Grandpa said to me in a forlorn tone. I leaned forward, intrigued and wanting to waltz with the knowledge he had that was just beyond the reach of my fingertips despite the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that was trying to warn me I would be waltzing with something I was not yet prepared to face, and it would overpower and overwhelm me.
              “Tell me what you can. I'll figure out the rest on my own,” I coaxed him stubbornly despite the fact that I knew my words were too big for my britches. Grandpa rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands only seconds before his whole body tensed. I bit my lower lip as concern began to flood my insides. “Grandpa, are you okay?” He didn't answer me right away but when he opened his eyes again, the whites had turned to a dark yellow. I didn't want to be rude but I had to look away. It was a sickening sign of decay. I was a horrible person to feel disgusted by my own grandfather.
              “I'm tired, Ruby. You know I've been gone a long time.” I
did
know. The scene of flatfoots dragging him away and me leaping after Grandpa demanding they give him back was never anything but fresh on the surface of my memory no matter how many years had passed. I knew Grandpa was dead, yet I didn’t question his presence right now nor did I wonder how he could be here, talking to me. It seemed and felt reasonable. “You want answers that I don't have.” He was right and wrong at the same time. I wanted answers, that was true, but I lacked the confidence to believe I could handle them. I also didn't believe Grandpa didn't have them.
              “I'm in trouble, Grandpa. So are Mom and Dad.” Wait, what kind of trouble were we all in, though? It was crystal clear knowledge and yet the
'why'
kept evading me, like bubbles on the surface of water and the moment I tried to grasp them, they popped. “Didn't you know this would eventually happen? We have to save them!” Wait, weren't they in their bed? I suddenly realized they weren't, but then where were they? The red illumination that surrounded us intensified. Why was I back in our barracks, anyway? Wasn't I supposed to be somewhere else?
             
But, where?
             
“Ruby, you're old enough now to understand love. Love is sacrifice. That’s what I tried to teach you through my stories. I wasn't just telling you about Earth B-I in order to make you wish you were there, I was telling you that if my father, your great-grandfather hadn't sacrificed himself so I could make it to the shore from our boat the day of the invasion, I wouldn't have survived and you wouldn't exist. Love has a ripple effect. When you sacrifice for someone you love, they will sacrifice for someone they love and that’s how families survive and prevail in war. And Ruby, we
are
at war. We've been at war for a long time now and people just don't realize it. Sometimes, sacrifice is giving up your life for someone you love, and sometimes it’s allowing someone else to give up their life because they love you. Do you understand?” I understood nothing. What did love and sacrifice have to do with anything? How were we at war? War was a concept lost to us when we lost our planet. War existed in a time where many cultures lived across the span of many continents, and we went to war to fight for rights to the land or to gain freedom from one country lording over another. All that was left of humanity now, that we knew of or concerned ourselves with, was The Complex and those of us that lived in it. With one culture and one government, how could war exist?
              Yet even as those skeptical thoughts raced through my mind I knew that I was wrong. There were vital facts that I was somehow missing, facts I knew, but I couldn't grasp them because they were swimming around in circles like panicked goldfish. They had nowhere to escape to, but they were still trying to get away.
             
Just like me.
             
My frustration intensified. I pressed my palms down against my knees. “Grandpa, who is giving up their life and why? Is this about you being taken? You didn't give up your life, it was
stolen
from you.” It occurred to me in that moment that all of us in The Complex were not, in fact, united. One government ruled us but I hated them for their cruelty and their insistence that I was not an individual with rights and freedom. I had no freedom. I was not allowed to be an individual. I was being forced into a marriage that love had nothing to do with. I would then be forced to bear a child even though I did not yet know if I wanted to be a mother. I would die in The Complex the same way I was born into it, doomed and soon after, dismissed.
              Again, something pecked at the back of my mind that was trying to remind me these things were no longer true. But how could they not be?
              The red intensified even more.
              “So, who is sacrificing themselves, now?” I found myself asking despite the fact that I still wasn't quite sure what was happening around me or why. Grandpa leaned forward. The sound of marching footsteps began to echo in the distance.
              “That’s up to you.” Up to me? How was it up to me? Was I supposed to sacrifice myself for something, and if so, to whom, and why?
              The footsteps grew louder, so loud that I couldn't dismiss them as background noise anymore. The floor beneath my feet began to vibrate. I gripped the side of the couch with my fingers and suddenly, a stream of flatfoots burst through our door. Terror exploded inside of me. My lips parted and I shrieked while trying to scramble to my feet. They didn't even glance at me. They reached their elongated, green monster-fingers toward my grandfather and they yanked him out of his chair. “NO!” I screamed and scrambled forward but my feet slipped on the ground. I flailed to try and keep my balance. “DON'T TAKE HIM!” My demand affected nothing. They began to drag him toward the door. My shoes could not seem to grip the floor. I slipped and slid forward as much as I could and desperately tried to reach for him. “LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU BASTARDS! TAKE ME INSTEAD!” This
couldn't
be happening, not again! They couldn't be taking him away
again
! Grandpa turned his head around over his shoulder as far as his neck would allow but his eyes immediately forced my body to freeze. They were now a deep, putrid yellow with red and blue veins weaving through them like enlarged DNA strands. Only then did it hit me that he was really dead. He had been dead for six years and he shouldn’t have been in my living room at all.