Dark Secrets (11 page)

“As far as I can get. If I stay…” I shrugged. I didn’t need to finish the sentence, as we both knew Brixen was going to do me in, sooner rather than later. Then he’d find another boy on a corner who’d be more pliable. I’d become a liability. I knew too much and was too well known. I was sure that even as I plotted my escape, he was plotting my death.

“I’ll ask the Arcane to guide you and put the Warrior at your back,” Cog said.

“Thank you.” I was going to need all the help I could get. That Cog was wishing me well meant a lot. If he hadn’t turned me away, I’d be a different man now. I looked at him again. In turning me away he’d done me a favor and allowed me to grow into being my own man, not a Unionized slave. My staff had more freedom than an Arcane bound to the Union. “For everything.”

Truthfully, I probably wouldn’t have done very well in the rigid confines of the Union. On my own I had thrived. And I’d learned how to survive and get through the darkness without lightning to guide me. I felt sure that I’d be able to master my magic if I gave myself the luxury of time.

I went to stand.

“One more thing, Haidyn.”

I sat back down, expecting him to reveal he knew all about me. If he brought in the truth-seeker, my ruse was all over.

“Do many Rogues frequent your lust house?” If Cog had been watching me, he already knew the answer.

“Rudley and his men pay like everyone else. No one wants cock-rot from a tavern or a corner.” Rudley was smart enough to spread his business around the lust houses. But they didn’t always visit to use the loose-skirts. There were other meetings that happened, ones I pretended to know nothing about.

“They regular?”

“If they were, you’d have raided my house already.” I shrugged. “They show up without notice and take what is available. No favorites, no trouble. I have no reason to turn them away.” I hoped Cog would hear the unspoken words, that I’d be making my own noose if I did refuse them entrance.

“True. You run a safe business—there are many who envy that. Perchance you could send me a message.” He pushed a gold coin over the table. No mucking around with silvers and trying to convince me I was working for the greater good. Cog assumed I could be easily bought because of my assumed lack of morals.

I looked at the coin. While my savings were gone, I didn’t need Union gold or the trouble it would bring. I couldn’t afford to be beholden to Cog. Yet if I didn’t take it the result would be the same. No matter what I did I was always courting trouble. I needed a less demanding mistress. I wanted a wife.

I picked up the coin and grinned like he expected. “You bought yourself a couple of messages. Just take your business away from mine.” I let the grin fade and turn hard. “I wouldn’t want trouble that might scare away clients.”

Cog got the warning and nodded agreement. Whatever issues he had between Rudley and the Rogues wouldn’t take place on my doorstep, and of course if Rudley were to avoid my house for a while, well, that would be another matter. Never could tell where the Rogues were going to spring up.

“Good doing business with you.” I put on my hat, nodded once and walked out. Reseda was becoming a dangerous place to live.

By the time I got home the house was quiet. Everyone was resting before the night began. I pulled off my jacket and boots, lay on my bed in the attic and closed my eyes. I imagined I could still taste Anisa’s lips on mine. Her hand over the brand. I traced the shape of the burn, the flesh smooth and tight. How long until my ability to heal fast made the scar fade? I couldn’t stay long enough for that to happen. Brixen would know straight away what that meant—everyone would.

I needed to act soon, and not just because of the brand. I had to get Anisa away from Brixen and his fists. A tiny doubt chewed at my thoughts like a rat on scraps. What if she told Brixen of my idea to flee? I was trusting her with my life, and she owed me no loyalty. She owed him none either, but he’d have no qualms about beating out a confession if he smelled subterfuge.

I’d held her heart once and I’d dropped it. Would she trust me with it again?

Would
I
trust me if the situation was reversed? My mind replayed our conversation but I couldn’t be sure I wasn’t seeing only what I wanted to see—that she still loved me and would risk fleeing with me. What woman would take such a chance?

There were only two answers. A woman in love, or a woman setting a trap for revenge. I pushed aside my ugly imaginings. It was too late for such thoughts.

If she had betrayed me, I wouldn’t live to see past sunrise. Hangings were always at first light. At least Cog would take care of the business. My will was safe with him simply because he hated the Lawman. Maybe as much as I did.

I forced my mind to calm, but around me the house breathed and I felt the other occupants wanting to slide into my skull. If I didn’t try to pry into their thoughts, it was much easier to keep them out of mine. I sometimes wondered if it was like an exchange of information. The more I took from them and turned their desire into their reality, the more their thoughts gained access to my mind. Like the door had to be open, and once open thoughts could go both ways. I’m sure there was a way to keep the flow in one direction; I just hadn’t discovered it yet. And if this was my last afternoon alive, I wasn’t going to spend my time worrying about it. If I escaped and survived, then I would.

Instead I escaped into the moment where I hid when everything got too hard. When the life I was living and the secrets became too heavy, I went back to the moment when I’d lain in the grass with Anisa.

I’d done it so many times before that the image built quickly in my mind.

Summer in the field on the outskirts of town. The grass was knee high but we were lying down, barely hidden from view, teasing and testing to see how far we could dare the other to go beyond respectability. I could make her smile so easily back then and without magic—a kiss on her navel that was beyond all propriety even though we were to be married, a whisper in her ear. It was so easy.

She opened my shirt and placed her lips to my chest. Her kiss warmed my skin, ignited my blood, as only she could do. The sunlight caught in her pale hair as she leaned over. The memory of her touch on my hard flesh still brought a groan to my lips. Only it was my hand now as I drew up every sensation of our final hours together. We crossed the line that should’ve waited until the marriage papers were signed. So young and so confident that everything would be fine.

After months of doing everything but have sex, like most things the first time wasn’t what we’d expected. Next time would be different. I created a new fantasy, one I’d never dared to think of, but her hand on my skin in the dressmakers had sparked a fire that had been dead for too long. I stroked the length of my shaft. The Anisa I had once known merged with the woman she’d become.

I wanted her. I wanted to live my dreams for a change.

The remembered touch of her lips on mine and her desperate
I
love
you
was enough to promise me a future and push my desire to completion. I shuddered and my seed spilled, but it brought no satisfaction. While it had been a long time since I’d felt true desire, now it was in my blood and I wanted it all. I needed more than a memory and a pathetic fantasy. I wanted her in my arms, in my bed, somewhere safe where we didn’t have to look over our shoulder all the time.

But I also knew timing would be everything. I had to wait and pick a moment when confusion would reign. However, getting word to Anisa would be near on impossible. It would be a snap decision when the moment came. I just had to hope she’d join me. It was one thing to talk and plan but another to act. However, fear of consequences hadn’t stopped her before. She’d risked meeting me, touching me, kissing me. I had to believe she would run away with me so we could start over and have the life we should have had.

I got up and washed, feeling stupid for giving in and pleasing myself. Another man would’ve just taken his pleasure in one of the willing bodies that would come through my door this evening. I shook my head and started to get ready for work, dragging a blade over the three days of growth—I couldn’t afford to be lazy in my appearance.

On the street below jeering broke out, and a tremble of fear ran through the air. People often hid behind words, but they couldn’t hide their desires. I glanced out my window but couldn’t see anything. I listened with my ears and my magic and didn’t like what I heard.

The Lawman was back and itching for a hanging come dawn.

The Lawman

Not above the Lords, but in the service of all ten Lords.

Dressed in a dark green waistcoat and light blue trousers, ready for working, I went downstairs. My bare feet padded over the wood floor and then the carpet of the lounge room. My blood tumbled through my veins, set on edge by the tension brewing beyond my walls. I didn’t need to go onto the street for a better view.

Excitement, fear, pure energy and hate swirled like the clouds of a gathering storm. One I didn’t want to be caught in. I muttered a quick prayer to the Warrior and the Hunter that we’d have no trouble tonight. I prayed Anisa would be safe because Brixen was in a good mood, then prayed he’d drink and celebrate elsewhere and leave her alone.

The tension outside built like a thunderhead and when it broke, everyone in its path would be flattened. I should be properly dressed in boots and guns, but dressing for trouble was a sure way to invite it in.

“Well?” I leaned against the doorframe and looked at Jawbreaker. He’d have heard the gossip on the street.

“Ten men have been arrested for being Rogue. They’ll be hanged at dawn.”

The Lawman was acting fast, too fast. I wondered if others would question what he was trying to prove.

“Mob celebration or mob revolt?” I’d lived through the summer clash between Rogue and Union and had no desire to see another. The shattering glass and snapping of lightning. The anger that had lingered in the streets long after the riot had finished.

Standing in the doorway, I could hear shouting from both ends of the road. The drunks down Brewer Road and the mob around the Decihall and the frames.

“Both.” Jawbreaker didn’t elaborate.

“Great.” Round two was about to start. But even as I spoke I realized this might be the chance I needed. Not tonight when the crowds were wild, but in the morning when the Lawman presided over the hanging.

Maybe.

Was it too soon? Would Anisa be ready? Would she come? Could I leave her if I had to? If I stayed, I knew I might not get another chance before the Lawman decided I wasn’t worth the risk.

Jawbreaker crossed his arms and looked as impassive as ever. “I reckon smart folk’ll stay home tonight.”

I laughed at how green he was, though not mocking him. I’d been like that once. “No, something like this brings them out in droves. They’ll have energy to burn. A few will try their luck here but most know they don’t have the coin.”

“You’re expecting trouble?”

“On a night like tonight? Without doubt.” The only question would be what form it took. A rowdy drunk we could handle. The Lawman hearing of my plan to leave would be fatal—for me.

With the doors open for trade, sure enough, the regulars came, plus the odd well-to-do walk-in. Sometimes we got a man who’d saved his coin for months for something special. Tonight was the night to spend, apparently, and business hummed. The house felt good—everyone was here for the same thing, a way to let off steam and have a good time. Jawbreaker turned away most of the trouble. Korene sent off a couple more on the pretext there was no one available. If they sought to argue, I soothed them and urged them to look down Brewer’s Lane.

But I still exuded calmness to counteract the fight in the air, mostly as a precaution. I could do more than just make people cry out with pleasure; I could affect their mood much more subtly—again, a skill learned out of necessity. But I didn’t like doing it. Magic on such a large scale was tiring, and the risk of getting caught was higher. That and I was sure the people walking into my lust house wouldn’t like me interfering with their mood any more than I liked them invading my thoughts.

I busied myself setting up a tryst for a married couple looking for something more adventurous. They wanted a three-way to see if she could get pregnant with a different man. The desire they had was simple enough. Not that they’d told me about their plans for a baby…that had been Korene, who always knew the real reason people visited. But I had sensed their nervousness and the interest about how it would work. All things I could explain. However, they had requested me, not Noromon, and I couldn’t tell them I wasn’t the man for the job. A part of me wanted to tell, though; if they desired a baby that badly they deserved a fair shot.

Our conversation fell silent when what sounded like a brawl started on my doorstep. The couple looked at each other like frightened silk-ears about to get caught out. I smiled and excused myself. Then cursed under my breath as I walked toward the front.

“Haidyn,” Korene called.

I ran the rest of the way.

Jawbreaker had a sweaty man in an arm lock. The sweaty man was fighting back.

“You’ll pay for this. All of you.” The Lawman was red-faced and furious.

Several choice curses about the law and a raxen’s asshole sprang to mind but I bit my tongue and found a shred of politeness. “What a surprise to see you.” I forced a smile and calm thoughts to try and bottle up my own rage at the bastard and his treatment of Anisa. I was also hoping to take the edge off his anger, softly, so he didn’t notice it fading. “This isn’t your night.”

Brixen stopped struggling. I nodded to Jawbreaker to let the Lawman go. Since he wasn’t here in whites, this wasn’t an official visit. He was here to fuck me, not arrest me. My gut turned, but it was better he was with me than with Anisa.

The Lawman straightened his clothing, pale yellow shirt and dark blue trousers, then—

“No!” Korene’s warning was too late.

Brixen’s fist connected with my cheek. I stumbled back, shock jarring my bones while my skin smarted. Jawbreaker wrestled with Brixen. I rubbed my cheek. My fingers came away red. Blood. The skin was split. My hands curled, but I forced them to straighten. If I swung at him with this many witnesses, I’d join the assumed Rogues in the morning.