Dark Chaos (# 4 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series) (40 page)

             
“Surely you agree I need to go.”

             
Janie hesitated.  Finally she nodded.  “Will you tell your father?”

             
“Tell your father what?” 

             
Carrie jumped as Thomas walked back into the room.  Her mind raced as she tried to figure out how to answer him.  Gone were the times when they could reasonably discuss her radical ideas.  She was quite sure how he would respond to this. 

             
“Tell your father what?” he repeated.

             
“I’m going out to the plantation after the herbs,” Carrie said calmly.

             
“And just when do you propose to do this?” he asked, his voice too calm, his eyes flashing.

             
Carrie shrugged.  “I haven’t decided yet.”

             
“I forbid it,” her father boomed suddenly.  “I forbid you to go out there.  It is a foolish idea.” 

             
Carrie looked at him for a long moment, then stood, and walked from the room.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Rose shifted her baby, John, to her other hip and continued stirring the pot of grits simmering over the fire while she sang to him softly.   He cooed and gurgled, smiling up at her in delight.

             
“John looks just like his daddy,” June said, steadying little Simon as he tottered across the room.

             
Rose gazed down at him lovingly.  “He will be as big as his daddy,” she complained playfully.  “He already weighs more than any baby I ever knew at four months.”  John laughed, bouncing up and down in her arms to signal his approval.   “Whoa, little man.  You’ll bounce right into the pot of grits.”

             
John just laughed louder, waving his arms and kicking his feet.

             
Rose finally gave up.  “You finish the grits, June.  He’s going to end up in them sure enough.  I’ll watch Simon.”  Settling down on the chair next to the window, she put John down on his blanket.  Seconds later he was rolling around gleefully.

             
June began to stir the grits and watched him thoughtfully.  “He’s going to be walking long before Simon did.”

             
“I hope I’m not supposed to be impressed by that,” Rose groaned.  “I see how much trouble you have keeping up with your active son.  It’s hard enough to try to keep John quiet while I’m teaching now.”

             
“You know Mammy Sadie said she would watch him.”

             
“I know.”  Rose continued to watch John.  He was her constant delight.   She cherished every moment she spent with him.  And June was right.  He was already the spitting image of Moses.  Just having him close made the ache of missing her husband a little more bearable.  She hated the idea of being away from John when she taught, but she knew the day was coming. 

             
“I wish their daddies could see these little boys,” Rose said wistfully.

             
“Yes.  Well, it looks like it won’t be happening anytime soon,” June said briskly.  “We just got to keep on living.”

             
Rose looked at her sister-in-law sympathetically.  Whenever June got that brisk, no-nonsense tone in her voice, it meant she was battling loneliness for her husband Simon, who she hadn’t seen in over two years.   “It’s going to end someday,” she said softly.

             
“I keep telling myself that,” June sighed.  “It’s just that some days my heart is able to listen better than others.”  She turned and stared at her son, then turned back to the fire.  “I reckon these grits are done.  I’ve got to get a move on.  I have a lot of washing to do over at the fort today.” 

             
“You’re going to eat!”  Rose protested.

             
June shook her head.  “I’m not hungry.”

             
“You sit down and eat right now!  You’re working too hard, and you’re not eating enough.  I’ve been quiet long enough.”  John and Simon looked up in surprise at the stern tone in her voice. 

             
“Eating just seems to take more energy than I have,” June admitted. 

             
“You won’t have any energy if you don’t eat,” Rose said firmly.  “Winter is coming soon enough.  We’ll be forced to cut back what we eat then.  You’ve got take care of yourself now.”

             
“Yeah,” June said heavily as she dished up a large bowl of the steaming, white grits and settled down at the table.

             
Rose watched her for a long moment.  “You’re hiding something from me,” she said suddenly.  “What is it?”

             
June stared down at her bowl.  “You’re crazy.”

             
Now Rose knew she was right.  She set her own bowl aside.  “What is it?  You know you’ll have to tell me eventually.”  She scowled.  “Is someone mistreating you over there?”

             
“Of course not,” June said instantly.  “I wouldn’t be putting up with how some of those soldiers treat our women.  The soldiers I wash for are real nice.”

             
“Then what is it?”  Rose persisted, alarm bells ringing in her head as she saw fear tighten June’s soft face.

             
“I didn’t want to tell you,” June sighed.  “Sometimes I hate that you always be knowing what I’m thinking.”

             
Rose made no effort to correct June’s English.  She just reached forward and took June’s hand.

             
June looked up finally.  “You know that bunch of fugitive slaves that showed up a week or so ago?  The ones from North Carolina?”             

             
Rose was silent for a moment.  There were so many contrabands flowing into the camp now that it was hard to keep track.  Finally she nodded.  “There were about twenty men.  They were coming to make sure the camps were safe; then they were going back for their families.  I remember.”

             
“They’re gone,” June said simply.

             
“They’ve gone back for their families?  That’s good,” Rose replied, wondering what it was about this that was bothering June.  “It will be good to get them back before it starts to get cold.”

             
June shook her head, her eyes dark with anger.  “They didn’t go back to North Carolina.”

             
Rose fought her impatience.  “Where are they?” she asked calmly.

             
“They done been sent up north,” June said bitterly.  “They’ve been sold.”

             
“Whatever are you talking about?”  Rose exclaimed, her heart beginning to pound.  “What do you mean they’ve been sold?”

             
“Just what I said,” June said bitterly.  “Some of these soldiers here ain’t any better than Southern slave owners.”

             
“Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” Rose commanded, struggling to breathe evenly.

             
June seemed glad to get it off her chest.  “Them twenty men were given a place at the fort,” she said.  “I reckon them Union soldiers knew what they were going to do with them all along.  A few days ago they loaded them on a boat and shipped them off.”  She paused.  “The men didn’t seem real happy, but I guess they knew it wouldn’t do no good to fight.”  She smiled briefly at Simon who had tottered over and lifted him onto her lap.

             
“Yesterday,” she continued, “I heard some of the soldiers talking.  I don’t guess they knew I was close enough to hear or maybe they figured that since all I do is wash clothes that I was too stupid to understand.”  Her voice was more matter-of-fact than bitter.  “They done sold those men as draft substitutes for rich white boys up north who don’t want to fight.”

             
Rose leaned forward in disbelief, shaking her head.

             
“It’s true,” June insisted.  “I heard them say it myself.  They are getting $500 to $1000 dollars for each of those men.  Once they get north, then they get put into the army in place of those white boys who get drafted.  I reckon the soldiers are making a lot of money.”

             
Rose stared at her.  “I can’t believe General Butler is letting that happen.”

             
“Oh, he doesn’t know,” June replied.  “They are smuggling those men up north - hiding them away in those big boats.” 

             
Rose pushed herself away from the table angrily.  “Well, I will certainly have a talk with the general.”   She turned to June.  “I can’t believe you were trying to keep this from me.  Why?”

             
“Because you ain’t got no sense,” June said flatly.  “Those soldiers will be real angry if someone stops their moneymaking scheme.  I know most of the Union soldiers are gentlemen, but there be some that aren’t.  You know what kind of things they will do to someone who gets in their way.  Especially if that someone be a woman.”  Her voice rose fearfully.  “I don’t want nothing to happen to you.”

             
Little John stopped his rolling on the blanket and looked up in alarm.  Moments later his wails filled the cabin.  Rose scooped him up, cuddling him close.  Soon his crying stopped.  “You can’t really expect that I would do nothing,” Rose said in disbelief. 

             
“You can’t get those men back,” June said stubbornly. 

             
“But I can perhaps stop it from happening to someone else,” Rose snapped.  “Those men came here thinking they would have a safe place when they escaped from their masters.  They found no better than what they had run from.”

             
“They were probably going to join up with the army anyhow,” June said desperately. 

             
“Listen to yourself,” Rose said in exasperation, trying to find patience in the obvious light of June’s fear. 

             
“I know what you’re gonna say,” June sighed.  “You’re going to tell me someone has to stand up for change, or things will always remain the same.”

             
“It’s true.”

             
“I know,” June said heavily.  “It just seems like you’re always the one to do the standing.  I get so scared for you sometimes.”  She shivered.  “Those soldiers are mean men.  They wouldn’t think twice about stopping some nigger woman who got in their way.”

             
“I refuse to let fear stop me from doing what I think is right.”  Rose swallowed the butterflies swarming in her throat.  “General Butler is a fair man.  He was the one who first opened up these camps to contrabands.  I can’t believe he would let this continue if he knew.”

             
“One man can’t possibly control everything around him,” June protested.  “It’s just gonna keep happening.  You know how it is.  People don’t care nothing about blacks except how much money they can make off them.”  Her voice was bitter.

             
“And as long as people like you give up and look the other way while it happens, things aren’t ever going to change,”  Rose stated simply.  She leaned forward and squeezed June’s hand.  “I won’t be foolish, but I certainly will do something.  At least I’m going to try.  It’s the only way I can live with myself.”

             
“I wish I was as brave as you,” June said quietly.  “I just ain’t.”  She paused for a long moment then shook her head.  “I remember when my daddy ran away and got hung for it.  They came after the rest of us -  Mama and us kids.”

             
Rose listened, her heart aching for the pain and fear radiating from June’s eyes.  Moses had told her this story.

             
“They whipped us all,” June whispered.  “It almost killed Mama and Sadie.  Sadie never walked right after that.  Me and Moses still got the scars.”  She paused.  “I guess they whipped the courage right out of me.” 

             
“You’ve got plenty of courage,” Rose replied firmly.  “It’s just that some of us are meant to do more.  Sometimes I wish I wasn’t one of those people, but I am.  The only way I can live with myself is to try to make a difference.”

             
“Don’t you get scared?”  June asked.

             
“All the time,” Rose admitted then smiled slightly.  “My mama used to tell me there wasn’t anything wrong with fear unless you let it control you.  She used to tell me that brave people felt the same amount of fear as scared people - they just decided to ignore it and crash right through it.”   She leaned forward, her eyes burning.  “Things will never change for our people as long as we sit back and let it happen.  We aren’t the first people to be treated wrong in this world, you know.  It’s been happening since the beginning of time, I imagine.  For some reason, folks always like to have someone they feel they have power over.”