Dark Chaos (# 4 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series) (39 page)

             
“I think I am,” Louisa giggled nervously then clutched Carrie’s arm.  “Can you believe Perry and I are actually getting married?” 

             
“I’m so happy for you,” Carrie said sincerely, marveling at the change in her and Louisa’s relationship.  Louisa had been at the hospital every day, taking care of Perry’s every need.  In spite of Dr. Wild’s pessimistic outlook for the wounded soldier, he had recovered rapidly and was beginning to move around on his crutches.  The first day he had stood on his own he and Louisa had announced their wedding.    It would take several more weeks before he would be well enough to be released from the hospital, but at least the couple would have the security of knowing they were married.

             
“You’re sure Pastor Anthony wants to do our wedding?”  Louisa asked anxiously, for what seemed like the tenth time.  “I was so awful to him that first day we met in the square.”

             
“He’s happy to do it,” Carrie said soothingly.  “He’s not one to hold a grudge.  He should be here any minute.” 

             
Louisa smoothed down her hair.  “Are you sure I look all right?  I never really imagined having my wedding in a military hospital.”

             
“You look beautiful!” Carrie said again, laughing.  “And you’re not getting married in the hospital.  You’re getting married out here under this tree.” 

             
“Can you believe you’re going to be my matron of honor?”

             
“Let’s just say we’ve come a long way,” Carrie said dryly.

             
Louisa stuck out her tongue playfully.  “It just goes to show two people don’t have to agree on everything in order to be friends.”  Her expression became thoughtful.  “We still disagree on so many important things.  I want the South to win the war.  You wish the Union had never dissolved.  I fully intend to have slaves again when this war ends.  I know you hate the whole idea.  You chose to stay here in Virginia when Robert left.  I think you’re crazy.”

             
“When you put it that way,” Carrie said slowly, “I’m not really sure I feel comfortable being your matron of honor.”

             
Louisa’s eyes widened then narrowed as she saw the dancing fun in Carrie’s eyes.  “Oh, be quiet!  I’m nervous enough without you trying to scare me to death.” 

             
They were both still laughing when Carrie heard wagon wheels approaching.  She turned and saw Pastor Anthony then turned back to Louisa.  “You won’t be Louisa Blackwell for much longer.”

             
Louisa clutched her arm suddenly.  “Carrie, I have to tell you something.  I’m so sorry I was so awful about you and Robert.  I know I’ve said it before, but now that I’m getting married I feel even worse about it.  I never loved him - I just wanted him because it was obvious how much he loved you.  I was horribly jealous.  Will you forgive me?”

             
“You know I already have,” Carrie said gently.

             
Louisa sighed.  “I know.”  She moaned slightly.  “I’m such a wreck.  Why am I so nervous?  It’s not like this is a big wedding.  My mother won’t even be here to criticize things.”

             
Carrie’s heart swelled with compassion.  Louisa’s mother had not improved.  She was finally taking a little food, but she still sat staring out the window, responding to nothing and no one.  Her devastating losses had completely broken her.  In spite of Louisa’s words, Carrie knew her friend was greatly burdened by her mother’s condition and would have given anything if she could have been there to celebrate with her.  Carrie knew there were no words to ease her pain, so she simply squeezed Louisa’s hand.

             
“Thank you,” Louisa whispered, wiping at her sudden tears.  Then she straightened.  “I’m going in to get Perry.  It doesn’t matter who is or isn’t with us today.  The point is that when it’s all over we’ll be married.”  Her voice became vehement.  “And without a leg, he won’t have to fight again.  I’m not going to lose another man I love to some Yankee bullet!” 

It was midafternoon when Carrie made her way back down the hill.  Louisa and Perry’s ceremony had been simple but beautiful, their love for each other obvious.  They planned to return to Perry’s farm in Georgia when he was well enough to travel.  As long as the war didn’t follow him, it was over for the young man who had sacrificed so much for his country. 

              Carrie’s thoughts flew to Robert as she walked.  Her thoughts were already with him constantly, but the wedding had accentuated them.  The beauty of the wedding day both comforted and taunted her.  Carrie and Robert’s time together had been so short... She shook her head, knowing things would be no different until the war was over. 

             
Janie was waiting for her on the porch when she reached the house.  Carrie tensed, knowing by the look on Janie’s face that something was wrong.  Visions of a relaxing afternoon fled.  Carrie sighed and steeled herself.  “What is it?” she asked quietly.

             
“Your father came home a few minutes ago,” Janie said hesitantly.  “He seems very upset.”

             
Carrie nodded then climbed the steps.  “Thank you.”

             
“Carrie...,” Janie reached out a hand.  “What can I do to help?  Your father...”

             
“…has changed,” Carrie finished for her woodenly.  “I know.  I wrack my brain every night for some way to help him.  Some way to give him hope.”

             
“He has to find that within himself,” Janie replied softly, gripping Carrie’s hand tightly.

             
“I know,” Carrie said helplessly.  “In the meantime, I have to watch the man who has meant everything to me since childhood self-destruct.”  She shook her head then reached for the door knob.  She found Thomas pacing in the parlor. 

             
He turned to her as soon as she opened the door.  “Will the calamities in our nation never cease?”

             
Hoping to catch some of the breeze kicking up, Carrie moved over to sit down in the blue chair next to the window.  She had learned from experience that it did no good to try to respond to her father.  She didn’t know the right words to say, and he had no interest in hearing them anyway.  He seemed only to want to vent the raging anger growing in him daily. 

             
Thomas turned and stalked across the room again.  “You know that the Federals have occupied Chattanooga, eastern Tennessee, and Cumberland Gap?”  He didn’t wait for an answer.  “They have succeeded in cutting Richmond’s main rail link with the West.”  He shook his head bitterly.  “We have lost the Mississippi - now this.” 

             
He slammed his fist against the mantle and whirled toward her.  “Davis detached Longstreet and 12,000 men from Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia.  He sent them to reinforce Bragg to try to save what he can.  Because they had to take a round-about route through the Carolinas due to the loss of the railroad, they missed it!”  He scowled ferociously.  “They missed it!” 

             
Carrie was confused.  “They missed what?”

             
“The battle - or at least they missed the part where they could have done some good and made a difference,” Thomas snorted.  “Some of them never even made it there.”  He paused.  “For once our General Bragg decided to fight instead of retreat.   If you want to call it that,” he said scornfully.  “From all the reports we have received, the battle at Chickamauga was more like mad guerilla warfare on a vast scale.  Each army seems to have bushwhacked the other.  It seems all the science and the art of war went for nothing.”

             
Carrie decided not to comment that she saw no art in war.  It would do nothing but add to her father’s agitation. 

             
“Bragg did at least succeed in pushing the Federal army back.  I’m sure the official reports will say it was a solid Confederate victory,” he said scornfully.

             
“It wasn’t?”  Carrie hated having to be so cautious with her father.

             
“Of course, it wasn’t!” he snapped.  “Bragg fought to the limit of his army’s capacity for two days for the singular purpose of driving the Federals away from Chattanooga in an effort to regain our railroad.  All he did was drive them right into it.  Our general has won a victory he can’t use.” 

             
He resumed his pacing.  “Not only that, but he didn’t finish the job.  The battle at Chickamauga should have been nothing but an opening for him to finish off Rosecran’s army.  Once again he failed to finish what he started.  From what we can tell, this was the most complete victory of the war, yet the Federals still have their army.”  Thomas’ voice grew increasingly bitter.  “And we have lost 18,000 more men,” he growled.

             
Carrie whitened.  How long could the South tolerate such horrible losses of life?  How long would they continue to send their young men to death and mutilation?  Surely they must run out of available manpower sometime.  Would there be any young men in the South when the war ended?  Would there be any to help rebuild the country?

             
Thomas continued to pace restlessly.  “I fear it was our last chance.  Bragg had one of the Union’s strongest forces right where he wanted them, and he let them get away.  We will probably never again have such a chance.”

             
The bitterness and anguish in his voice tore at Carrie’s heart. 

             
Thomas whirled around to stare at her.  “I fear the Confederacy is close to breathing its last breath.”  He took several deep breaths before he stalked from the room.

             
Carrie gazed after him and once more felt the sick helplessness she experienced in every recent encounter with her father.  She could hardly believe this was the same calm, reasonable man who had taught her to think clearly.  She had been so relieved when he had started to work with the government, had been so glad to see the spark return to his eyes after her mother had died.   Now his very involvement was sapping the very life from him - was turning him into a bitter, old man before her eyes.

             
“Carrie?”

             
Carrie looked up slowly.  “Come in.”

             
Janie eased in and knelt beside her as she took Carrie’s hand.  “I’m sorry.”

             
“You heard?”

             
“Through the window.”

             
Carrie fought the tears.  “He’s helped me so many times when I was so confused.  Why can’t I help him?” she cried. 

             
“There will be a time when he’s ready,” Janie said gently.  “Until then, there is nothing you can do.”

             
“Except watch him self-destruct?  Watch him become someone I don’t even recognize?”  Janie squeezed her hand but didn’t respond. 

             
Carrie took a deep breath and changed the subject.  “I’m going out to the plantation.”

             
“When?”  Janie asked, clearly surprised.

             
“I don’t know yet,” Carrie admitted.  “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.  Everyone I talk to says we’re going to be in for another hard winter.  I keep thinking about all the herbs I have stored in the basement out there.  We’re going to need them this winter.  Chimborazo is building up a fairly good supply of alternative medicines to see them through, but the black hospital simply doesn’t have enough to make it.  If we have the kind of winter we did last year, too many will die.”  She took a deep breath.  “I have to do what I can to prevent it.”

             
“But what about all the Union cavalry around the city?  Surely it’s not safe to go out there,”  Janie protested.

             
Carrie shrugged.  “I’ll take Hobbs with me.”

             
“How much can he do against a unit of cavalry?”  Janie asked skeptically.