Dare You (12 page)

You know what I wish? I wish Dad would come back and stay again, like he did after Grace was burnt. I don’t mean I want him to stay forever; I’m not that pathetic. I’ve known since Mum and Dad broke up that they were done for good. I just want Dad to come back because this time I’d try harder to talk to him and I wouldn’t be as snaky either. At least I’d try not to be. Then again, with the way I’ve been feeling lately, I’d probably be a complete bag again and ignore him. Who would know?

I’m so mixed up. Parts of my life are fantastic and other parts are, well, crappy.

The most amazing thing is, life at home is going okay. I know, who’d have thought! Having my own room helps, but it’s not just that. Since Khaden came around that night, Mum’s tried to be at home more and even asked Maddie to ‘step up and be more responsible’, which means I don’t have
to do as much. Mum even hinted I could go for a part-time job next year. An alien has abducted my mother! But, hey, I’m not complaining.

Then there’s Khaden.

Khaden, Khaden, Khaden.

He came round this morning before Mum left for work to give her a gift to say thanks for helping him the other night. Mum loved the pen—she raved on about it for ages, a bit too long if you ask me.

Then, after Mum took the girls to school, Khaden gave me THE ring that I’d tried on at the Junction. It’s the coolest, most awesome ring ever and I love, love, love it! I swear I made a strange noise when I unwrapped it—a gasp, cry and squeal all rolled into one. Very embarrassing.

The ring is so unusual. It curls around my finger with one end fat and the other skinny and pointy. It reminds me a bit of the Play Doh snakes I used to make when I was little, only the ring’s silver and chunky, not blue and salty. Does that even make sense? Who cares! I love, love, LOVE it.

And that’s the amazing stuff in my life. Now for the crappy stuff...

Khade’s on that list too—well, not Khade exactly, but what happened to him the other night. It was so awful. I wish I knew how to handle it. Should I try to talk to him about it or do I just pretend it didn’t happen? And what if Mike hits Khaden again and Khaden is seriously hurt? The whole thing scares me.

The other thing, or person, I don’t know how to handle, is Ruby. Bit fat sigh! I wish I understood what was going on between Ruby and me. We used to be best friends and
never argued, but now just looking at her makes me angry.

After she stole the lip-gloss, I decided to stay away from her for a bit, just to let things settle down between us, but today she drove me nuts again. Well, not all day. While we were trying on stuff at those expensive shops, we had fun. Sure, we couldn’t afford anything, but pretending is free.

Ruby started driving me nuts at the café, then, when she turned up at the tram stop, tops and hair changed, and couldn’t see the funny side of what we had done, I lost it. Sure, what we did was kind of risky, but it was hilarious. If only I’d seen the look on that stuck-up waiter’s face when he realised we’d done a runner.

Anyway, I didn’t mean to call her a pain, but that’s what she was. I tried to feel bad when she stormed off, but to be honest, Khaden and I have more fun without her. The whole way home we talked about bands,
Gossip Girl
(okay, so I talked about that and Khaden listened), and if thick shakes were better than milkshakes. There was no complaining or bitching, just talking and laughing. It was easy, the way it used to be with the three of us.

Khaden reckons we have to tell Ruby about us, but I’m not so sure. She already thinks we’re leaving her out—imagine how she’ll react when she finds out that Khade and I are more than friends now.

And how am I supposed to tell her, when just looking at her makes me mad?

Grrrr. It’s so confusing.

How do I capture a perfect day? Sure, I took photos of Khaden and me sunbaking, eating fish and chips for lunch, and of the seagull poo that landed on Khade’s calf that made me laugh ’til my stomach hurt. But how do I keep hold of the feeling? Not just the chill of the water against my hot toes or the softness of Khade’s skin, but the bubble of complete happiness surrounding me, us.

Maybe sticking photos, the fish and chip docket, the seagull feather and a crispy strip of seaweed into my journal will do. That way all I have to do is open my journal and everything will flood back.

Khaden hummed a Bowie song he couldn’t name as he turned into his driveway. He pulled the junk mail from the letterbox and a cream envelope fell to the ground. He stared at the neat, curled writing—
Mr Khaden Elliot.

Maybe he should have read the first letter or written back, told her to leave him alone. He snatched up the envelope and stalked inside, the Bowie song and thoughts of his day at the beach with Sas crushed by a cream envelope.

After dumping the junk mail in the bin, he took the letter to his bedroom. He flipped it over.

Anika Moloney, c/o Armidale Post Office, Armidale.

Armidale was in New South Wales, wasn’t it? Khaden shuddered. She was closer.

He turned the envelope over and over, thinking of nothing, yet everything. He slipped his finger under the flap and tore the envelope open.

One page. Tight black writing.

He slumped onto his bed and read, his heart hammering.

Khaden lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. She’d been in contact with Taj, and Taj hadn’t told him.

A car door slammed.

Khaden slipped the letter beneath his pillow and reached for his guitar.

In the family room I sat on the sofa, stalked to the kitchen and back to the sofa, turned on the PlayStation, turned it off, sat on the sofa again, checked my watch for the seventh time in thirty seconds, and picked up the novel I’d brought down from my bedroom.

Mojo’s bark from her kennel on the decking changed into an excited yap.

I took a slow breath, curled my legs under me and tried to look like I was engrossed in the book. I didn’t look up until there was a tap on the glass. Khaden smiled. Sas was patting Mojo. I waved them inside.

‘It’s cool in here,’ said Khaden, dumping his towel on the bench. ‘It’s so hot already.’

I uncurled my legs and placed the book on the coffee table. ‘It’s supposed to be hotter than yesterday.’

Sas stood by the back door fiddling with the fringe on her towel. ‘Wasn’t too hot at the beach, was it Khaden?’

‘Nah, the breeze kept it cool.’ He flopped into Dad’s chair.

My skin tightened. They’d been to the beach without me. Why hadn’t Sas mentioned it last night when we were texting? ‘Was it packed?’ I asked, trying not to sound annoyed.

Sas shrugged. ‘Didn’t notice.’

Khaden cleared his throat.

Sas sighed. ‘Ruby, last week ... I didn’t mean what I said...’

I knew she was waiting for me to jump in, to say it was okay, but I’d promised myself I’d be strong, not a ‘pain’. I clamped my jaw tight. The tension was crushing.

‘It’s just there’s this stuff happening at home and...’

‘What stuff?’

Sas shot me a look that was hard to read. ‘Personal stuff.’

Khaden shifted positions.

‘With ... look, it’s complicated.’

Her face was sad, no tortured. I fought the urge to hug her, like I would have a couple of months ago.

She didn’t look up from her towel. ‘I’m trying to say I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.’

I could feel Khaden’s stare and knew what he wanted, but it stuck in my throat. ‘So are we going to the pool?’ I said, standing.

‘Sure,’ said Khaden, his voice bright against the tension.

As I grabbed my bag and hat from the bench, my determination to be cool crumbled like Mum’s biscuits. ‘Hey, did I tell you Harrison was here when I came back that day?’

‘Oh no,’ said Sas, sounding more like herself. ‘What did you say?’

‘That I’d been to buy tampons.’

Sas’s laugh was deep as Khaden grimaced.

I shrugged. ‘Well, it was the first thing I thought of.’

‘Did he believe it?’ Sas led the way out the back door.

‘Yeah, but Dad still did his full-on “we trust you” speech, then came home three times the next day, first because he’d “forgotten” his memory stick, then because he needed some file, and the last time, a phone number.’ I pulled a face. ‘Like he trusts me.’

Khaden laughed. ‘Can’t blame him.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, aren’t you still grounded?’

‘Yeah, but still...’ I pulled the gate shut.

‘I’m with Ruby, Khaden. I mean why go on about it, if you clearly don’t trust the person,’ said Sas. ‘Parents make no sense.’

Khaden, walking between us, placed his arms around our shoulders. ‘So everything’s back to normal then?’

‘What’s normal?’ asked Sas, which made me laugh.

While we walked, Khaden raved about this guitar he wanted for Christmas. The thing had about ten names. After hearing about it for two years, it wasn’t hard to remember a few of them. Gisbon, Les, Paul, Mick and Jones.

‘Khaden, give up. Where’s your dad going to find the money for that?’ I asked.

I could feel the change in Khaden’s stride.

My shoulders slumped. ‘Hey, I didn’t mean ... it’s just my
parents would never spend about eight grand on me for Christmas.’

‘Costs nothing to dream, Ruby,’ snapped Sas.

Nobody spoke for the rest of the block.

‘Traffic’s heavy,’ I said, when we reached the main road. I cringed at how lame it sounded. ‘Reckon I can make it across without stopping?’ I asked, trying to claw back the calm I’d smashed.

Sas stepped onto the gutter. ‘Bet you go before me.’

My heart somersaulted. ‘You’re on.’

‘You’ll both go before me,’ said Khaden, watching the traffic.

‘Are we stopping on the tram tracks, or going all the way?’ asked Sas.

I didn’t take my eyes off the road. ‘All the way.’

Khaden stepped back from the gutter. ‘No way, Ruby—three lanes is enough. We stop on the tram tracks.’

Sas and I tensed again. A gap opened between a van and bus, but we didn’t run. The lights changed from green to red and the traffic thinned.

‘Right,’ said Khaden. ‘This is stupid. We run when I say so, otherwise, we’ll be here all day.’

Sas nodded, her face set like an athlete waiting for the starter’s pistol.

‘Okay.’

The lights changed and the traffic surged over the hill like stampeding elephants.

‘Now!’ bellowed Khaden.

I ran, eyes focused on the tram tracks. Horns blared and a driver yelled. I skidded to a halt between the tracks.
Sas bumped into me.

‘I didn’t think you’d do it,’ she said, laughing.

I wiggled my eyebrows and nodded at the other side of the road. ‘Rest of the way?’

‘Hey, Ruby, did you shut your back gate?’ asked Khaden.

‘Yeah, why?’

‘That dog looks like Mojo,’ said Sas, pointing back to my street.

I turned to look over my shoulder. Mojo charged towards us, pink tongue hanging out. The gate hadn’t snibbed. I had to stop her.

‘Stay, Mojo!’ I screamed but a supermarket truck swallowed my voice.

‘I’ll try to grab her,’ said Khaden.

‘No!’ I clutched his T-shirt. ‘She’ll just run to you.’ I yelled, ‘Sit. Stay. Stop.’

She slowed on the nature strip and I released Khaden’s T-shirt.

‘Good girl, Mojo,’ called Sas.

Mojo had always figured ‘good girl’ meant ‘do what you like.’ She tilted her head and galloped onto the road, tail wagging.

A Kia blasted its horn. Mojo picked up speed. Somehow, she ran between the front and back tyres of a truck carrying sheets of glass. One lane to go. There was a gap between a Toyota and Magna. Every muscle tensed. Should I call her so she’d run faster? Or did I bellow ‘sit’?

‘Come on Moj!’ I yelled. ‘Faster!’

Mojo sped up; her eyes alight, as though we were playing a game.

But the Magna increased speed too.

Its wheel barreled into Mojo’s shoulder.

Her high-pitched yelp tore at my heart. I screamed. Khaden and Sas held me to stop me running onto the road to her.

Still yelping, eyes now wide with terror, Mojo staggered forward and collapsed at my feet. Her body shook.

I knelt and reached out a shaky hand to touch her.

A dual cab, the back filled with ladders and pipes, pulled up beside us. A guy in a blue shirt hung out the open window. ‘That your dog?’ he asked.

‘What’s it to you?’ asked Sas, stepping between him and Mojo.

‘Is it okay?’ asked the guy.

‘I don’t think so.’ I stroked Mojo’s back.

A tram bell sounded.

‘Ruby. Tram,’ said Khaden, his voice urgent. He scooped up Mojo, who yelped and whimpered.

‘There’s a vet back that way. Jump in, I’ll give you a lift.’

I shook my head. ‘No, we’ll...’

‘Thanks.’ Sas flung open the door. ‘Come on, Ruby.’

Sas lay her beach towel across my lap. Khaden placed Mojo on it and ran around to the passenger seat. As the guy eased the ute forward, I noticed the blood streaming from Mojo’s nostrils and mouth and her fast, rattly breathing. Fear wrapped around my chest and squeezed.

‘Want me to come in with you?’ asked the guy, pulling up outside the vet clinic.

‘You’ve done enough, thanks.’ Khaden shook the guy’s hand.

‘Yeah, really, thanks.’ Sas came around to my door and opened it. Mojo whimpered as I eased out of the car.

‘Hey,’ I said looking over my shoulder to the driver. ‘Thank you. Very much.’

He tapped the door of the ute. ‘Hope your dog’s okay.’

Everything from then on was a blur.

Concerned faces. Mojo being taken from me and carried down a corridor. Waiting on hard seats. A dog yapping and straining on its lead. A ferret biting cage wire. The vet nurse, Michael, leading us to an examination room. A tall woman, the vet, drawing fluid into a syringe. Khaden speaking for me. Sas holding my hand.

Words—
internal bleeding, serious, operate, parents.

Wondering why Michael gave me directions to a bathroom, then seeing my reflection in a glass door. Blood on my arms, smeared across my face and T-shirt. Sas helping me wash it off.

When Sas and I returned to the waiting room, everything came into sharp focus. Mum was there, talking to Khaden. I braced for an attack, but instead she held out her arms and hugged me. I broke free, my chin quivering.

While we waited, Sas scooted toy cars around the carpet with a blond kid whose Dad took their puppy for injections. Khaden leant back in his seat, eyes shut, and Mum flicked through a magazine, foot tapping. I stared at the carpet.

The clinic doors opened and the air became colder. Without looking up, I knew Dad had arrived.

‘What the hell is going on?’ he asked, standing over Mum and me.

‘It’s not the time or the place, Stuart,’ said Mum, moving her bag from the seat beside her and motioning for him to sit. ‘Mojo is in surgery.’

Dad didn’t move. ‘What are you doing here, Ruby? You’re grounded.’

‘Guess you didn’t snib the gate either,’ I said, my voice flat.

Sas froze. Mum’s fingers bit into my knee.

‘I have better things to do than chase my out-of-control daughter,’ snarled Dad.

‘Yeah, like what?
Lunch?
’

Dad’s eyes widened, then narrowed. Behind his anger, I saw a glimmer of fear.

‘Ruby?’

Michael, now wearing one of those blue pyjama things that TV doctors wear, stood in the middle of the corridor. He motioned for me to follow him.

I didn’t move.

Mum placed her hand on my shoulder. ‘Come on.’

‘But...’

Sas and Khaden stood either side of me. Together we followed Michael. With each step, my heart sank further into the pit of my stomach. We crowded into a small examination room.

Mum and Dad hissed at each other, but I couldn’t be bothered trying to work out what they were saying.

‘Zia will be with you in a moment,’ said Michael.

‘Who’s Zia?’ asked Dad.

‘The vet,’ said Michael.

Before he left, I found my voice. ‘Michael? Mojo?
Is she...’

He smiled. ‘Zia won’t be long.’

It was in Michael’s eyes and voice. Mojo was dead.

‘I forgot to ask his name,’ I whispered.

‘Michael,’ snapped Dad. ‘You just said it.’

‘Not him, the guy who drove us here,’ said Khaden, pulling a business card from his pocket and handing it to me. ‘I figured you might want to call him. Later.’

I nodded.

‘What guy drove you here?’ bellowed Dad. ‘I want answers now.’

Zia glided into the room, wearing the same blue pyjama things. She introduced herself to Mum and Dad and then turned to me, Mojo’s horrible, irresponsible owner.

‘Ruby...’

The walls closed in on me. I folded my arms. ‘Just tell me,’ I said, my voice shaky.

She nodded. ‘Mojo’s injuries were too severe.’

My nails dug into my biceps. ‘I want to see her.’

‘For God’s sake, Ruby, can we just leave?’ said Dad.

Zia glared at him.

‘Follow me, Ruby.’ The way she said it made it clear Dad wasn’t invited.

‘Can we...?’ asked Khaden. ‘If it’s okay, Ruby.’

All I could do was nod. An icy feeling gripped me and squeezed out the sadness, replacing it with fear. I wanted to run, but my legs refused and instead they followed Zia. Thoughts tumbled around my head. What if there’s blood? What if it smelt bad? Zia stopped outside the door at the end of the corridor.

‘Ruby, you’ll see where we shaved Mojo for surgery, but there isn’t any blood or anything.’

I nodded. I could feel the warmth of Sas and Khaden behind me. For a second, I didn’t want them here, then Zia opened the door. Under the window, on a steel table draped with a green cloth, lay Mojo. I rushed forward, a sob squeezing through my tight throat. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Moj.’

Who knows how long I stood there, crying and patting Mojo’s lifeless body. After a while, Michael came in and asked if I wanted to take Mojo home, which I did. When I returned to the waiting room, holding Mojo wrapped in a cloth, Dad had gone. Mum said he had to finish up at work. She ignored my scoff.

As Mum drove Sas and Khaden to Sas’s place, she chatted about Christmas and holiday plans. I sat wedged against the passenger door, Mojo wrapped on my lap. After Mum dropped off Sas and Khaden, we drove home in silence. She parked in our driveway and cleared her throat. ‘Ruby, what are you going to do with...’

‘Bury her. Under the lilypilly. She liked to sleep there when it was hot.’ I couldn’t take my eyes from the open side gate.

Mum pulled her keys from the ignition. ‘Why don’t you wait for your brothers and Dad to—’

‘No.’ My voice echoed off the car windows. ‘She’s my dog and this is my fault. I’ll bury her.’

‘They might want to be here for you.’

‘I don’t want them here.’

Mum nodded. ‘Can I help?’

I shook my head.

‘I’ll be inside. If you need me.’