Daniel's Gift (47 page)

She opened her eyes. His words were stronger than the expression on his face. He was as scared as she was.

"You taught me logic," she said. "I can see how the numbers add up, Luke. The cards are stacked against Danny. It would take a miracle to bring him back."

"Then we'll ask for one. It's a miracle we're together now, after so many years apart, so many mistakes."

"Maybe that's why Danny is dying. Maybe it's the worst kind of irony, the worst kind of symmetry." Jenny knew her words hurt Luke, but she couldn't stop herself from saying them. "We were happy together last night. We forgot about Danny."

"I didn't forget, and neither did you," Luke said fiercely. "We celebrated the love that made Danny in the first place. Don't give up on me, Jenny. I need you to be strong. I can't do this alone."

He took in a deep breath, and she saw complete desolation in his eyes. He turned away from her, the pulse in his neck beating frantically against his skin. He started to shake, then the tears came, silent and long.

Jenny held him in her arms and cried with him for everything they had had and everything they had lost.

The minutes passed slowly. No one disturbed them.

Finally, spent, Jenny pulled a tissue out of her purse and blew her nose. Luke wiped his eyes with a handkerchief, and together they stood up.

"We'll both be strong -- for Danny," Jenny said.

"Yes."

Jenny walked out of the chapel and down the hall to the waiting room. Their families were there. Richard and Merrilee were holding hands on the couch. Constance and William sat stiffly in chairs against the wall. Matt leaned against the doorway, chatting quietly to her friend Pru. Beverly and Charles sat isolated on the far side of the room with a grim-faced Alan. The only people missing were Jenny's father and Luke's wife.

Jenny smiled at each member of the group, and watched as her smile was returned, slowly, reluctantly, hopefully.

"Thank you," she said. "Danny would have liked to see you all here, together. The thing he wanted most in life was a father." She looked at Luke and smiled. "And grandparents." Her gaze turned to Beverly and Charles, then moved on to Merrilee and her family. "And aunts and uncles and cousins," she added. "This is the best Christmas present you could have given Danny."

Merrilee stood up and walked over to her, fighting back tears. "Is there anything we can do, Jenny?"

"You've already done it."

Matt stepped forward and gave her a hug. "The kid's tough. He'll make it."

"I hope so." She studied Matt's clean-shaven, carefully ironed look with a curious eye. "You look like you just came from church."

"I'm going to an AA meeting. They even have them on Christmas Day, you know, to get people through the holiday."

"You might miss the football games."

"I think I'll live."

"I think you will, too." She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. "It's good to have my big brother back."

Matt nodded. "Knowing that it could have been me that caused Danny's accident -- well, I realized how close I came to destroying everything around me, including myself."

"You didn't do it, Matt. That's what counts."

"But Gracie did. Dear, sweet Gracie. Can you ever forgive her?"

"I already have. It was an accident. She doesn't even know what she did. How can I hate her?" Jenny shrugged. "Besides, it won't bring Danny back."

"You're strong, Jenny, maybe the strongest one of all."

"That's what I keep telling her," Pru said. She gave Jenny a hug. "Hang in there, honey."

"I'm trying."

Pru stepped back and Alan joined them.

"I hope you don't mind," Alan said. "Merrilee called me, and I wanted to come."

"I'm glad you did." She took his hand and squeezed it. "Thank you for everything."

"I'm sorry about Gracie."

"So am I."

Alan twisted his cap in his hands.

"I have to go to work. But I'll be thinking of you and Danny. Good-bye, Jenny." He kissed her on the forehead.

"Good-bye." Jenny wrapped her arms around her waist as Alan left. She stood in the center of the room, surrounded by two families that had been irrevocably changed by the accident. Danny, look how much you've done for all of us. Come back, honey. Come back to us. The words flew out of her soul. She hoped somewhere he could hear them.

After a while, Jenny sat down in a chair by the window. The waiting began, hours and hours of hope and fear. As the day went on, visitors came and went. Matt left to go to his AA meeting, then returned, looking better than he had in a long time.

Day turned to dusk, then night. Constance and William fell asleep in their chairs. Richard and Matt played cards. Merrilee stitched a needlepoint, Charles and Beverly read magazines and spoke quietly to each other and to Luke.

At ten, Charles and Beverly left, saying they would be back in the morning. At eleven, Merrilee and Richard decided it was time to take the children home. At midnight, Matt said good-bye.

"Christmas is over." Jenny turned to Luke. "The time for miracles is past." She went into his arms and they sat together on the blue vinyl couch throughout a long, tortuous night. At some point, Jenny drifted to sleep, and her dreams were filled with images of Danny.

She experienced every moment of his life in full color, the moment of his birth, a red, squirming baby who yelled for attention the minute he gasped air. She felt his tiny hand clinging to her finger as he struggled to stand, saw his mouth grimace with determination as he tried to walk, felt his pain when he skinned his knee, and heard his howl of indignation when he saw his own blood for the first time.

There were so many moments to remember, small things that once seemed unimportant, arguments, heated words she wished she could retract. Through it all, she could feel Danny's arms around her neck, his hair brushing against the side of her face as she gave him a piggyback ride. She could hear his tiny snore as he crept into bed with her, afraid of the dark, afraid that morning would never come.

"I love you, Danny." The words echoed around and around in her mind, until there was nothing left but blessed oblivion.

* * *

Danny looked at the clouds surrounding him. The path had led to a series of steps, down, then up, then down again. He felt tired, breathless. He had to stop and rest. What was happening to him? He hadn't felt anything for so long that it shocked him to feel something now.

Jacob suddenly appeared next to him, and Danny welcomed him like a long-lost friend.

"I'm scared," Danny said.

"I know."

"It was Christmas. Isabelle showed me the trees, the lights, the presents. I can't believe you're going to let me die on Christmas."

"If it makes you feel any better, it's not Christmas anymore. It's two days past Christmas."

"Then it's over. No miracles for my mother."

Jacob tipped his head to one side. "Personally, I think Christmas miracles are kind of corny."

Danny sighed. "Figures, I'd get stuck with the only angel who doesn't do miracles on Christmas." Danny tried to take a few more steps but felt too winded to go on. "Help me, Jacob."

"That's why I'm here."

"Where am I going? Where are these steps leading? Why do my feet feel so heavy? My arms are like weights. I can barely move them. And it's so hard to breathe."

"You made your choice, didn't you, Danny?"

"Did I? I don't remember."

"The heart speaks even when the mouth is silent." Jacob looked at him for a long moment. "I'll always be with you, Danny. When you're afraid of the dark, look to the sky, and you'll see my light. When you doubt everything that you see, put your hand over your heart, like this, and remember." Jacob took Danny's hand and put it on his chest, covering it with his own. "I'm right there, always."

"Jacob -- "

"I'll miss you, kid." He put a hand on Danny's forehead and slowly ran it down Danny's face, closing his eyes. "Rest. Sleep. Live."

* * *

Jenny and Luke sat by Danny's bedside, dressed in hospital gowns and masks to prevent any further spread of infection. It had been two days since the outbreak of pneumonia, two days of fear and anguish, two days of waiting. The rest of the family went on with their lives while Jenny and Luke kept vigil.

Jenny looked over at her son and touched the angel pin on her chest. "Thank you, Danny," she said. "Thank you for this and for giving me back your father." She leaned over and rested her face against Danny's cheek, feeling the slight warmth of his skin, not nearly as hot as it had been before. For that she was grateful.

"Mom." His voice came tiny, weak, frightened.

Jenny lifted her head. Luke moved around to Danny's other side. They exchanged a long, wordless look, then watched as Danny's eyes began to flutter. His lips moved, but no sound came out.

"Danny," Jenny said. "Wake up." She gave him a little shake with her hands.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. "Mom?"

"I'm here, honey, I'm here."

Danny blinked his eyes, squinting at the harsh light. Jenny couldn't believe what she was seeing. He was waking up. Against all odds, her son was waking up. "Call the doctor, Luke," she cried.

"What's wrong? You're crying, Mom," Danny said.

"I'm happy, so happy you're awake."

"Why? Am I late for school?"

Jenny smiled, then laughed, then cried. She looked over at Luke. He was crying, too. "You're late all right," she said. "But it's okay. Everything's okay."

"You're acting weird." Danny wrinkled his nose as if he had an itch. "What's that smell?"

"You're in the hospital, honey. You were in an accident. Do you remember?"

Danny looked at her blankly. "Am I okay?"

"You're better than you were," Jenny said. "I can't believe you're awake, and I'm talking to you."

Danny tried to lift his hand, but his arm fell back against the bed. "I'm tired."

"Go slow, Danny. We have time, now. Plenty of time." She covered his hand with hers.

"I had this strange dream," Danny murmured. "I met my dad. He came back to us."

Luke stepped up to the bed so Danny could see him. "I'm here, Danny."

Danny's eyes widened. "Dad?" He looked over at his mother. "It's true then?"

Jenny nodded. "Yes, it's true."

Dr. Lowenstein came in and checked Danny's eyes and reflexes. He gave commands to which the boy sleepily responded, moving first his arms then his legs.

Jenny held her breath, afraid to believe that Danny was going to be all right after so many weeks of waiting.

Dr. Lowenstein questioned Danny about his name, his birthday, and what grade he was in. Danny answered every question correctly. Then the doctor looked at Jenny and Luke with an incredulous smile. "Wow," he said.

Luke and Jenny laughed.

"Is that your professional opinion?" Luke asked.

Dr. Lowenstein shook his head in amazement. "He looks good. We'll run a complete set of tests just to make sure, but right now I would have to say that I think he'll make a complete recovery."

"I can't believe it," Jenny said. "Did you hear that, kiddo? You're going to be fine."

"How long have I been here?" Danny asked.

"A while, honey, but you're back now, and that's all that counts." She pushed down the cowlick at the back of his head. Danny brushed her hand away.

"Aw, Mom," he said.

"I never thought I'd hear you say that again."

Danny frowned. "Did I miss your birthday? I had the best idea for a gift."

"You gave me a gift, Danny."

"I did? What was it?"

Jenny exchanged a tender look with Luke. "It was your father."

"Are you together again?"

"Yes, and we're going to be a family, the three of us," Luke said firmly. "The way it was meant to be."

"I feel like I died and went to heaven," Danny said in utter delight.

Jenny stepped backward and tripped over something. Down at her feet was a baseball. She picked it up. "Danny, your next home run is on me," she read. "Where did this come from?"

Danny took the ball out of Jenny's hand. He looked down at the end of the bed and saw an old man in a baseball uniform, the man from his dream. "Jacob," he whispered.

Jacob tipped his cap at Danny. "Have a nice life, kid."

# # #

Continue Reading for an excerpt from
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

EXCERPT

@ Copyright 2011 Barbara Freethy

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

"Are you ready to go for a sail?" John MacGuire asked his wife. A young, handsome man, he stood on the edge of a wide sandy beach, wearing summer shorts and his favorite T-shirt. He pointed toward the water behind him, to the sailboat that bobbed gently in the quiet bay. "It's the perfect day."