Dangerous Intentions (8 page)

After sitting in the bathroom for over an hour, I went to bed, feeling like a zombie. I woke up before dawn and knocked on Dustin’s door.

Dustin’s eyes widened with worry when he saw my face. When I told him, he stumbled back with shock. He pulled me into his room and lowered me onto his bed. It was a lot smaller than mine.

He remained on his feet, pacing the room, running his hand through his hair occasionally. “Didn’t you…?”

“I did. He wanted a baby; I didn’t. I was on the pill behind his back. I…” I drifted off, feeling myself burn up inside. I hated Jude. I hated him with everything in me. “I think he messed with my pills. How stupid was I to think he wouldn’t find them?”

“You think he switched them?” Dustin’s voice was steely and he lowered himself next to me, studying my face.

“And he did a damn good job.” I hadn’t noticed anything different. He had really gone the extra mile to fool me.

Dustin ran his hand roughly through his hair. “The bastard. He deserves to pay for everything he’s done. Did he really think you would forget everything he had done to you and stay just because he got you pregnant?”

I wiped my cheeks and inhaled sharply. “As far as he was concerned, I wasn’t going anywhere.” If he ever found out about my pregnancy he would move heaven and earth to find me. Then what? He’d hold me and the baby hostage? Bile rose up in my throat again, but I swallowed it down. “I feel defeated, Dustin. I don’t know what to do now.”

“Haley.” Dustin took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him. “You can’t let this throw you off.”

I gave a choked laugh. “I really don’t know where to find the strength. I need so much more now. I’m no longer just making decisions for myself.”

As much as I ached to rip my womb right out of me, the baby—even if it was the result of one of many painful moments with Jude, a product of rape—was not responsible for this whole mess.

I hadn’t slept a wink last night mulling over whether I should keep it, whether I wanted to have a child in my life that would remind me of Jude forever. I didn’t want the baby, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I got an abortion. I had to do the right thing. This time I couldn’t walk away from my responsibility. “I’m keeping the baby.”

Dustin’s hands fell off my shoulders and he took a breath in. “Are you sure about this?” His eyes were serious, but not judging.

“It’s not the baby’s fault.” I shook my head sadly, my head pounding. “I can’t punish it for my own stupidity.”

“You still want to change your identity and run? It will be more complicated. You do understand that, don’t you? You’ll be a single mother on the run.” He paused and swiped at his forehead. “You understand the impact your decision will have, right? I’m not telling you what to do, but…”

“Then don’t. You think you’re not, but you are. I’m tired of people telling me what’s right for me. First Jude, and now you.” I jerked to my feet and stomped to the door, but before I stepped out, I turned back to Dustin, shame washing over me. I went back to him.

I felt heavy, weighed down with decisions I had to make fast. “I shouldn’t have said that. That wasn’t fair. You’re trying to help and I’m being a bitch.”

“I’m not Jude,” Dustin said softly. “You have to realize that.”

I sank back down on the bed and cradled my head in my hands. “I know. I’m so sorry.” I looked up again, into his eyes this time. They were clear, kind. Not deep and threatening like Jude’s had been. “You’re not Jude.”

For a moment, I’d heard Dustin speaking in Jude’s voice, controlling me, making decisions for me. But I had to work harder at reminding myself that not every man was like Jude. I’d just lost so much control over the years. So much of myself.

“I care, Haley.” He gripped my hands. “I still care. And not in a controlling way.”

I sighed and leaned my head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”

We stayed like that for a long time, my head on Dustin’s shoulder, his hand holding mine. I swallowed hard as I thought of the baby growing inside me. The baby of a heartless murderer. I prayed that evil wasn’t in the genes. My heart ached.

I wasn’t ready to be a mom, especially since I was still recovering from the worst torment of my life. If I could have wished the pregnancy away, I would. Being a single mom on the run was never part of my plans. And neither was giving birth in prison. I had to protect myself, and I had a responsibility to protect this baby. Wanted or not, planned or not, it was a part of me.

“As soon as your friend is back, I have to continue with my plans. It’s more urgent now.”

Dustin stood up and approached the window. He lifted the curtain and looked out for a while. Then he turned around, an unreadable expression on his face. “I can’t let you walk straight into danger. Jude is a very intelligent man. We both know that. He will eventually find you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I put you in harm’s way.”

“You?” I retorted, blood rushing to my head so fast I felt dizzy, my blood boiling. “This is my decision, Dustin. My responsibility, and my mistake, if it ends up being one.”

“I’m terrified for you. How long will you run from him?”

“As long as it takes. I’ll run for as long as it will take me to be safe. I don’t care if I stay on the run for the rest of my life. I can’t go to prison. I can’t have my baby behind bars.” I wet my lips.

Dustin came to kneel down in front of me. He covered both my hands with one of his large masculine ones and used the other to cup my chin. “I will not let that happen, Haley. I will do whatever it takes so you don’t end up in prison, do you hear me?”

My shoulders shook with grief. I didn’t respond.

“Haley,” he said slowly. “I care about you more than you can ever imagine. This is a life or death situation. I will not let you do this. I will not let you out of my sight. Do you understand me?”

The urge to yell at him again, to tell him to stop telling me what to do, was strong. He wasn’t Jude. But it was hard to agree to put my life in another man’s hands. “This is dangerous for you too, Dustin. The longer I’m here with you, the more dangerous it is for you.”

“I don’t care how dangerous it gets. I will not let you stand there alone. I’ll die protecting you if I have to. I still love you, Haley. And love will not let me watch you put yourself in the line of fire.”

“Don’t say that. You can’t love me.” I was a walking time bomb for Dustin. No matter how much I still felt for him, the timing was completely wrong. If Jude ever found out about us, he’d kill us both.

He trailed my temple with a finger. “It’s not something I can control. I’m going to protect you. Whether you want it or not. Please just stay here for a while. Maybe he won’t find you. Cole will gather incriminating evidence against him and you can take it to the cops. You have the power to end this.”

Stay here for a while. Déjà vu all over again. Those words suffocated me just hearing them. Jude had wanted me to stay too, so he could protect me. Where had it gotten me? I closed my eyes.

“Look at me,” Dustin said and I opened my eyes. “I will protect you and the baby until I can make sure you’re safe. After that, I promise to let you go, if you want to. I will not hold you prisoner here. I’m not Jude.” He released my hands. “I also won’t force you to go to the cops. But please, please hide here for a while.”

My chin dropped to my chest. I didn’t have the strength left to run. The life growing inside my belly had sucked it right out of me.

Chapter Eighteen

Jude

“What are you doing here? I told you to leave the country.” Jude’s eyes burned with annoyance. Why the fuck couldn’t he just back off?

“You know I can’t leave.” Nolan pushed past Jude and into the cheap motel room. He looked around for a moment, his brow furrowed. “So this is where you’re staying.” He didn’t look pleased. “Do you want to tell me why you’re hiding out like this? You’re not even staying in one place long enough for me to find you.”

“I don’t appreciate you meddling in my business. I thought I made it clear the last time. Sit.” Jude waved a hand toward a chair next to a shabby sofa. Nolan did as he was told. “So, why the hell aren’t you gone? I helped you get a new identity, gave you enough money. What’s keeping you here?”

If there was someone Jude could count on, it was Nolan. Ever since they were kids, Jude had done a damn good job at getting his brother to do to whatever he wanted. He had bribed him, blackmailed him, or simply bullied him into doing his dirty work.

Since then he’d been at his beck and call. It wasn’t as if Jude didn’t love his brother. He had taken great care of him financially, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to give him the lifestyle he enjoyed, the kind of lifestyle a mere chauffeur would never be able to afford. He had even gone so far as to offer Nolan a place in his company, but his brother had refused, saying he hated working in an office. He wanted to drive Jude instead, and be his bodyguard when necessary. So what the fuck was wrong with him these days?

“It’s you keeping me here,” Nolan said firmly. “I know what you’re up to. I came here to tell you that you’re playing a dangerous game.”

Jude let out a laugh, then sat as well. He had to admit he was taken aback by his brother’s claim. “What is it you know, exactly?”

“I know you killed those prostitutes. I was on my way out of the country when I saw a photo of your fifth victim. She looked a lot like Haley. When I saw the others, I put two and two together. If this is your perfect plan for getting Haley to return to you, you’re way more messed up than I thought. What’s wrong with you?”

When Jude had killed his first wife out of rage, it was Nolan who had cleaned up the mess, after making Jude promise he would never kill another soul. What Nolan didn’t know was that he had killed their mother years before, and that murder had awakened a hunger in him. Jude almost felt like snickering. His brother had no idea of the things he did behind his back.

His brother, the only family he had. Luckily they looked nothing alike. It had been so easy for Jude to fool the press, to feed them the bullshit about both his parents having died when he was a kid. To keep them away from the truth that his mother had run off with another man, and his father had made his and Nolan’s life hell before committing suicide. That they were thrown into an orphanage that openly did things to them that kids should never have to endure. It took years for Jude to get over the night terrors, to forget the pain of being fucked in the ass or whipped until his skin tore apart. To regain his power and take control over his life.

“Victims.” Jude sneered and leaned back. “They were no victims. I did them a favor. Most of them had fucked up lives. I showed them a way out of their misery.” He didn’t feel the need to deny his actions. He knew when he was caught red-handed. And it wasn’t as if Nolan would run to the cops.

Nolan’s eyes narrowed to slits as he studied his brother’s face. “What do you think she’d think about what you’re doing?”

Jude’s jaw tensed and he clenched his fists at his sides. “I don’t give a fuck about what she thinks. I just want her back, and when she comes back—and she will, Nolan—I don’t want her to dare leave me again.”

“Jude, you’re about to lose everything because of this woman. You’ve lost your home, your business—”

“They didn’t mean a thing to me. The only thing that matters to me is my wife. She’s the only possession I want to keep.” He sighed. “And I didn’t really lose the business, I just converted it to money. Money Haley and I will use to start a new life.”

Nolan was quiet for a long time. And then he shook his head. “By murdering innocent people, you’ve put yourself on the fast track to prison.”

“I’ll kill myself and Haley before that happens.” Jude laughed at Nolan’s shocked face. “Don’t worry, brother, I’m joking. I won’t do such a thing. I’m untouchable. Anyway, Haley will be back before long and then I promise to stop killing. And yes, yes, before you get started on it, I will be a good husband to her.”

“What are you trying to prove by waiting for her to come back to you? Why don’t you just go and find her?”

“What’s the fun in that? I want her to know that her actions have consequences.” Part of him wanted to tell Nolan that now that he had started, it was hard to stop. His hunger grew every day.

“You don’t fool me,” Nolan said. “You don’t know where to start looking for her, do you?” A smile spread across his face. “No, wrong. You’ve gotten yourself into so much shit that you’re now afraid to move around too much and expose yourself. But killing women shines a pretty damn bright spotlight on you.” Nolan stood up and stepped over to the tiny window. “I think you should let her go. Start a new life with someone else. You can have any woman you want.”

“I don’t want them. You know the reason I picked Haley.” Jude shrugged. “Besides, no one leaves me. You know that too.”

Nolan paused for a long time. Then he returned to his seat. “If she means that much to you, and if finding her means you’ll stop this mad killing, there’s something you have to see.” Nolan reached into his jacket pocket and produced a tabloid magazine.

Jude snatched the rag from Nolan’s hands, his blood boiling. The longer he glared at the cover, the louder the ringing in his ears got, and the stronger his need to kill became. And his hunger for revenge. He hurled it across the room and shot to his feet.

When he glared at Nolan, his eyes were veined with anger. “Son of a bitch. I should have known.”

Chapter Nineteen

While Nolan drove, Jude closed his eyes and returned to the past. He pushed past the darkness of his anger and remembered how Haley had looked on the first night of their honeymoon. As if it were happening right in front of his eyes, he watched her enter the room. Her hair was wet and free of the gunk she had used to pin it up into an updo. Her face was free of makeup and naked. Just the way he liked it. Why the fuck did women hide their beauty with so much crap? Haley definitely didn’t need it.