Damned if I Do (14 page)

Edie

"You should really go to a hospital," Graeme says, now that his daughter is out of earshot. He goes over to the panic bag on the bed for a first aid kit, frightening Purl, who slinks away to the bathroom. I briefly wonder if Graeme has had the sense to pack a litterbox for my cat.

"I'll be fine."

No I won’t.

"If you were any sort of normal human being you would've bled out by now and been dead."

"Then let's be glad that I'm a weirdo," I say lightly. "And that you can patch me up."

He sits in the desk chair and rolls up to me. He lifts up my hoodie again, this time leaving it up. I'm thankful that the injury doesn't require me to take it off, how awkward would that be?

"This is bad, Edie," he says gravely. "I mean, I don't know how deep it is, if it's hit any major organs…"

"I'll be fine in the morning. Plus, I don't want to be away from you guys any longer than I have to be." I don't want to tell him that I don’t know if I’ve killed all the vampires at our house, but he catches my drift anyways.

Graeme digs in his bag and takes out some gauze, steri-strips, a cleansing spray in a spray bottle, and some ointments. He lifts up my shirt again and shakes his head as he snaps some rubber gloves on. "You're going to kill yourself, Edie."

I only grit my teeth while he starts cleaning the wound. I refuse to show him how much it hurts, mainly because I don't want to spook him and have him send me off to the ER.

"Who is this Jude fella?" he asks, clearly chatting to take my mind off what’s happening.

"A friend," I answer simply, because I don't know what else Jude is beyond that. I can't tell Graeme that he's a vampire.

He did save my life. Whoever Victoria knows him as, he’s no longer that person. He cares about me enough to run into a burning building for me. Does that mean he cares more about me than others? Should I even hope that there’s something more?

Graeme doesn't buy my answer, and I’m sure that whatever color is in my cheeks is betraying my thoughts.

"A friend?"

"A friend."

"What's he doing here?"

"He helped save me. He's…on the V-boards."

Graeme spritzes my side with more cleansing spray, and I wince. "So the fire department was on its way to the house?" He changes his gloves and begins to apply what I now recognize as triple antibacterial ointment.

It's so good having a nurse in the family.

"Yeah," I say, my mood somber at the reminder of what happened to the house. "Listen, Graeme, I'm so sorry about that." I wipe away an unshed tear, which isn't from the pain.

"Don't be," my brother-in-law says. "You're safe…ish. And you're keeping us safe. That's all that matters."

A few more minutes pass by and he patches my side together with steri-strips and tapes some gauze over it to catch whatever bleeding is left then lowers my hoodie. Finally, I feel like I have enough control over myself to sit up. The muscles pull and hurt in all sorts of different ways, but enough time has passed and Graeme's handiwork means that I don't feel like I'm about to die now.

"That should hold you for a little bit," Graeme says. He takes off his rubber gloves with a snap and tosses them in the garbage bin where I see a lot of red cotton swabs and gloves. I blanch, thinking about what Anthony said about wasting some of my blood. He'd have a field day with that one.

"No chance I could convince you to go to the hospital?" Graeme prods.

"No.”

"It's going to leave a bad scar if you don't get proper stitches."

I hold up my left hand, which is covered with the angry welts of the scar from Christmas. "Trust me," I say with a wry smile. "I have other scars that I'm more worried about."

Knowing that he can't persuade me otherwise, particularly since Meghan was the same way, Graeme checks his watch. "I need to make a phone call." He gets up from his seat, pulling out his phone, and heads in the bathroom.

Meanwhile, I painfully retrieve my purse and check my phone to see if there's anything else from my cousin. There's nothing from Carl, but there is a text.

were nxt door in room 215

I look up and feel a bit impressed that they got the adjoining room. I could keep an eye on Amelia while staying in my own room.

Graeme comes back into the room from the bathroom, looking flustered. "Hate to do this," he says at length. "I should go have a chat with Fire Chief Mann about the house and put in an insurance claim." He rubs his eyes. "It's so late too."

"Go," I urge. I wave my own phone. "Jude just told me they're in the room next door."

"Amelia—"

"Will be fine," I cut in. "Just go."

Graeme nods and hands me his spare room key. "I'll have my phone on me." He gives me one last scrutinizing look. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Well, we’ll see." I gingerly bring myself to a standing position, the first time that I've stood by myself since I hit the railing. I must be healing all right then; I don't even feel that dizzy. "I'm fine.
Go.
"

I follow him out into the hallway and then head to the adjacent door to room 215 while Graeme heads the opposite direction for the elevators. Knowing that Amelia hearing or seeing her father will cause her to cry, I give to the count of ten before I rap lightly on the door.

The door swings inward and Amelia is holding the doorknob, staring wide-eyed up at me.

"All better?" she asks.

I smile at her. "Mostly. I still have a bad boo-boo, so I can't pick you up, honey. Even though I want to."

Amelia nods with a serious face, and I'm struck by how precocious she is. I wonder if that's a product of having your mother gone from your life when you're that young.

"Jood's been reading to me," she says, grabbing my hand. I grin at how she said Jude's name, like she's making the same noise as "choo-choo".

"Is he now?" I ask, peering into the room.

In a room that's an exact mirror of 213, Jude is looking up at me from a picture book on the couch. He closes it with one hand and stands up as I enter the room.

"Did he patch you up?" he asks. "I see you're able to walk now."

"Yeah, I'll be fine in the morning."

My comment makes him quirk an eyebrow, but he doesn't say anything.

"Jood's reading
Bedtime at the Zoo
to me," Amelia says. "He makes funny noises."

"Only 'cause she's a monkey," Jude adds with a smirk. I look at him, bewildered, because I've never heard him speak like that before.

"Are you feeling well?” I ask sarcastically. A babysitting vampire is one thing I’ve never heard of.

Amelia takes the book from him and holds it out to me. "Can you read it for me?"

"Only one time, and then you need to go to bed."

It's well past one a.m. now, how is this toddler not falling asleep where she's standing? I am ready to drop myself.

I look at the adjoining doors for the room and shake my head. "I should have opened the other side before coming over here."

Jude rises from the bed and opens this side’s door. "This one’s already open."

I nod. "All right, Missy," I tell Amelia. "Let's go get you tucked in."

"And read me a story," she adds.

"And read you a story."

Edie

To my surprise, Amelia goes down really easy. Once I get her into her Elsa pajamas, she snuggles in bed with Purl curled up beside her. She falls asleep before I finish her favorite bedtime story. Carefully, so as not to disturb her, I get up and head to room 215.

The adjoining doors are slightly ajar so we can move in between each room and keep an eye on Amelia without having to go out to the hallway. Having immediate access to my niece makes me feel better about the rest of the night. Undoubtedly, she'll have nightmares after today's events, and I'm glad that I'm only a wall away from her in case she wakes up crying.

I open the door to the other room and find that Jude has set up the desk chair at the window and is looking out from behind the curtains to the scene below.

"Graeme chose the worst possible room for seeing if there are any enemies heading your way," he comments.

"I doubt he had a choice."

"Yeah, well, he should really consider that. He's going to get himself killed for his ignorance."

"You know, most people would have turned on the TV and watched
Adult Swim
or something."

He glances up at me. "You should know by now that I'm not most people." He turns back to the window and lifts the curtain slightly. "Or most vampires, for that matter."

My heart flutters at that. Because I agree.

"How's the wound?" Jude asks after a moment.

"Better," I say truthfully. Although I'm thinking of a lot of other things at the moment. "Can I ask you something? What would you do if you were me?" I ask through dry lips.

"What do you mean?"

I sit on the edge of bed closest to him. "Up until now, I could have been considered foolish for putting my trust into a vampire without a past or affiliations. Or so he says."

He lets go of the curtain and looks back at me. "You don't believe that I am who I say I am?"

I let out a breath and plow a hand through my hair. "I didn’t. For about three hours there, I didn’t believe you. Then…"

His gaze is intense and his jaw is working intently.

“Then you saved my life,” I whisper. “You rushed into a burning building for me.”

He chuckles. “I would’ve preferred if it wasn’t burning.”

"You don't even know if your name is really Jude.” I hesitate, because the words are searing my throat. “How can I trust someone who doesn’t know who he really is?”

He sits back and crosses his arms, those chained arms rippling. "For all intents and purposes, I
am
Jude," he says. "I'm not anything more or anything less. Whatever happened before…that's another time and doesn't matter."

"It does matter!" I gulp nervously. "That vampire in Zhi's basement recognized you. She said that you know Anthony. I mean, what am I supposed to think about that?"

"Trust me, Harker, I'm trying to help you."

I search his face, feeling my resolve weaken. "Maybe you are. Or maybe you're some sort of sleeper agent, where they say a magic word and you suddenly remember that you're Anthony's little lapdog sent here to keep an eye on his magic potion blood bag?"

Something flickers on Jude's face, something unreadable. "Even if I was some sort of 'sleeper agent', trust me when I say that I
want
to help you."

"
Why?
"

"Why what?"

"Why are you helping me?" I demand. "No one does something to the extent that you do—if you really are who you say you are—without expecting something in return. It's almost like…"

My words die in my throat as it hits me. I feel so stupid for not coming to this conclusion sooner. I blink at him, once, twice, and then sit back on the bed.

"Almost like what?" he asks, his voice rough.

God, I'm so dense. How the hell have I not seen this before? After five months, I should have realized it. I've joked about it, Carl made fun about it, but I never thought for even a second that it could be true. Because he's a vampire and I'm the Harker.

"You
like
me," I breathe. "Don't you?"

His face melts, first into confusion, then momentarily into despair. I rarely see vampires blush, but his cheeks go red as a beet. He scoots the desk chair closer to me. He refuses to meet my eyes, yet tension is rolling off him in waves.

Holy shit. He
likes
me. Not as a hunter or anything related in a professional respect. He likes me in a let's-go-on-date sort of way, echoing the feelings that I’ve been dealing with myself for five months.

"That's why you've been helping me," I say. I reach out towards him. "That's why you protect me and help me. That's why you went into a burning building to save me." I gulp down some air. "You actually like me."

He doesn't say anything. In fact, now that it's out in the open, it's infuriating that he's neither denying nor confirming it.

"Am I right?" God, I wish my heart would stop pounding, it's making my side ache. "
Do
you like me, Jude?"

He doesn't say anything.

My own cheeks are flushed now.

"Say something, dammit."

Faster than lightning, his lips connect with mine. He moves so quickly, I don't see him coming. His lips crash against mine, his metal lip rings a stark contrast to the softness of his mouth. His strong arms encircle me, pulling me to his powerful chest while being considerate of my left side. I don't have time to protest before his tongue sweeps my mouth. He's searching for something. Was it reciprocity?

OhmyGod. OhmyGod. Oh. My. God!

I don't even have time to close my eyes and relish the kiss before he breaks it and touches his forehead to mine.

"Yes," he whispers, his voice husky with unexpected emotion. "Yes I do. Not just ‘like’, but…” The implication in his voice makes my heart flutter. “I could never betray you."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He sits back. "Because I was afraid that you wouldn't feel that way. I was afraid of this."

I shake my head. "I don't know what 'this' is," I say, gesturing between us.

He nods sadly. "That's what I was afraid of, Edie.”

My name sounds so sexual when he says it that way. I can see why he always insists on calling me "Harker". He says my first name like he's cradling some sort of priceless treasure. Maybe I would have come to that conclusion earlier if he called me "Edie" more often. I want him to say it more.

"So what do we do now?" I ask.

"We don't do anything different," Jude says. I detect a hint of bitterness in his voice, though it’s not directed at me. It’s directed at the situation, at everything other than me. I know, because I feel the same way.

His gaze flicks to the alarm clock and my heart sinks. "I should…I should be getting back to my place. Sunrise isn't long from now.” He looks at me one last time, sits straighter and nods. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Then he's gone, the only evidence that he was ever there the creaking of the room's door and my tingling lips. He's gone, moving in that crazy vampire speed of his, leaving me to sort out what the hell to do now.

The feel of his kiss is embedded is my mind, the phantom weight of his body against mine a memory.

"Godammit, Jude," I say, angry that he left me, angry that the butterflies in my stomach aren’t going away.

Angry that Fate is fucking with me.

I have a vampire in love with me.

What’s worse, I’m in love with him too.