Damaged Goods (24 page)

told me a few things about you.”

“So I gathered,” Austin said drily.

“Right.” Michael played with his straw, absently stabbing at ice cubes. “Look,

it sounds like the two of you are happy together. And I"m thrilled, honestly. But…”

He trailed off.

I sighed. “Michael, we—”

“How exactly am I supposed to trust someone in your line of work around my

kids?” Michael blurted out.

“What the fuck does my line of work have to do with kids?” Austin snapped,

and the fury in his voice startled both my ex-husband and me.

Sitting back, Michael put his hands up. “Look, I"m not—”

“Save it,” Austin snarled. “I"ve heard it all before from plenty of people. That"s

why I"m never alone with my nieces and nephews or anyone else"s kids, because

people assume that just because I"m a sex worker, I"m also a goddamned child

molester.”

At nearby tables, a few heads turned, and I wondered if it was “sex worker” or

“child molester” that caught their attention.

Austin didn"t seem to notice, but he did lower his voice. “Listen, my work

involves sex with consenting adults. It has
nothing
to do with children. You can

think what you want about me, judge me all you want for selling sex to adults who

choose to buy it, but don"t you
dare
insinuate I"d
ever
lay a hand on a child. Yours or

anyone else"s.”

Michael stammered for a second, then collected himself. “I"m sure you can

understand the sentiment of someone when it comes to the morals—”

“Yeah, I"ve heard it all,” Austin said. “I"m sure you"d be fine with me if I was

something respectable and honest, like a lawyer or a politician.” With a smirk, he

added, “Hey, at least my clients
know
I"m going to screw them.”

Michael said nothing.

His voice gentler now, Austin said, “I know you want to protect your kids. I

understand that, and I respect it. You have every right to feel safe with whoever

your kids interact with. But don"t rely on what society"s told you about people like

me.”

“Besides the fact that you—”

“Yes,
besides
that,” Austin growled.

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117

“Okay, but even if I did find that palatable—and I don"t,” Michael said.

“There"s also the legal aspect of it. It
is
a criminal activity, is it not?”

Austin shrugged. “And depending on the state, so are anal sex, oral sex, and

sex outside of marriage. It"s a victimless crime between two adults.”

“A victimless crime?” Michael raised an eyebrow. “What about the spouses of

your clients?”

“Their spouses are the victims of adultery, not prostitution.” Austin took his

arm off my chair and folded his hands on the table. “I don"t condone that aspect of

it. Never have. But it"s part and parcel with my occupation, so I live with it. The

adultery is on her, though. Not me.”

“Yes, I can tell you lose loads of sleep over it.”

“I"ll be sure to confess my sins when I get to hell.” Austin narrowed his eyes.

“I"m sure I"ll be able to find a child-molesting priest or two to listen to me.”

Michael scowled. “Okay, fine, it"s illegal, and you have no problem with it.

However, I have a problem with my children being exposed to it.”

“Exposed to what?” Austin scoffed. “Do you think I"m going to tell them about

it? What kind of—”

“Okay, okay, both of you.” I put my hands up and shot each of them a glare.

“We"re not going to get anywhere like this. Can we
please
discuss this like civil

adults?”

Both nodded. Michael took a breath and looked at Austin. “So, how would this

work? I mean, what do you tell them you do for a living?”

“My usual cover story is that I"m an artist,” he said. “I paint, and I also do

graphic-design work. Which is true. I really do those things.”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “And you"re „stuck" doing this job?”

“Michael,” I growled.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said.

“To answer your question,” Austin said. “Yes, I am „stuck" if I want a steady

paycheck.”

Michael pursed his lips. A few snide retorts were probably on the tip of his

tongue, but he wisely let them go. Steepling his fingers in front of his lips and

resting his elbows on the table, he said, “So the kids wouldn"t know what you"re

really doing, then.”

“Absolutely not,” I said.

“I wouldn"t discuss it with them,” Austin said.

“Which brings me to another question,” Michael said. “Hypothetically, let"s say

you"re staying around for a while. Mikey is getting to the age where he"s going to

start getting…curious. Lex isn"t far behind him, especially being as precocious as

she is.” He folded his hands under his chin. “So what happens if one of them comes

to you with questions?”

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Lauren Gallagher

“That depends on what you and Jocelyn are comfortable with me saying,”

Austin said. “I"m not going to start telling them war stories as examples, if that"s

what you"re worried about.”

Michael laughed. “No, I wasn"t worried about that, I guess. But the thing is,

they ask my wife questions sometimes. For whatever reason, sometimes they"re

more comfortable with her than with the two of us, and I trust her to give them

correct information. Jocelyn and I have discussed it with her; she knows what we"re

comfortable with. And I…” He paused, taking a deep breath, and looked Austin in

the eye. “I need to be able to trust you the same way.”

Austin nodded. “I understand. Look, if one of your kids came to me and asked

me something, I wouldn"t overstep any bounds you two lay down. Yeah, I"m

probably a bit more liberal than most when it comes to all things sexual, but you"re

the parents. If they came to me, I"d be as open with information as you two are

comfortable.” He paused. “I was a teenager once too, you know, so it"s not like I

wouldn"t be able to empathize with them and not overwhelm or confuse them.”

“I appreciate that,” Michael said quietly. “Though I"m sure you can understand

if I still have reservations about someone in your line of work being around my kids,

let alone discussing things like that with them.”

“You"re missing the point here,” Austin said. “They"d be around me, not my

line of work. It"s not who I am; it"s just what I do for a living.”

Michael"s lips thinned. Before he could throw something counterproductive

into the conversation, I broke in.

“Let me ask you this, Michael.”

He looked at me, inclining his head slightly to bid me to continue.

I glanced at Austin, then turned to my ex-husband. “If you"d met Austin before

I told you what he does for a living, would you have guessed? Just by talking to

him? Looking at him?”

Michael chewed his lip. After a moment, he released a breath and shook his

head. “No. No, I wouldn"t have.”

“And neither will the kids,” I said. “Look, if I hadn"t told you, you probably

never would have known. The only reason I told you is because I think you deserve

to know, and because I think you"re reasonable enough to see him for who he is, not

what he is.”

He said nothing.

“Trust me,” Austin said softly. “You"re not the first to be weirded out by this,

and I guarantee you won"t be the last. But whatever I can do to show you I would

sooner throw myself in front of a bus than harm your kids…”

“Well.” Michael pulled back his sleeve to look at his watch, then glanced out

the window. “I think the next bus should be here in—”

“
Michael
.” I laughed, and so did they.

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119

“All right, point taken.” Michael looked at Austin. “Would you mind if I speak

to Jocelyn alone for a minute? Won"t be long, I promise.”

“Sure, that"s fine.” Austin kissed me gently and stood. “I"ll wait for you

outside.”

As soon as Austin was out of earshot, Michael looked at me. “So you two really

are serious about this. About having him meet the kids and…well, whatever it is

you"re doing.”

I nodded. “This isn"t something we just jumped into and didn"t think about.

With his job, and with the kids, we knew it could get complicated.”

Shaking his head slowly, he said, “I don"t know how you do it. I really don"t

think I could deal with that.”

“Well, I…” I shrugged, trailing off for a moment. “I just don"t see him as

anyone other than Austin. Now that I know him, what he does for a living

is…irrelevant.”

Michael said nothing.

“I know this is a really strange thing, and I know you want to protect the kids,”

I said. “But please, don"t take them from me over this.”

He jumped like I"d actually kicked him under the table as I"d been tempted to

do a few times. “Jocelyn, I wouldn"t do that. You know that.” He glanced in Austin"s

direction. “This is just going to take some time to sink in. I promise I"m not going to

take the kids from you, but will you hold off on introducing him to them for right

now?”

Swallowing hard, I nodded. “If that"s what you want, yeah.”

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I guess that"s all we needed to discuss, then?”

“Yeah. I"m sorry it was a bit awkward…”

He poked at ice in his drink again. “I can"t imagine a conversation like this not

being awkward, to be honest.”

“Good point.” I dropped my gaze, but then made myself look at him. “Thank

you, though.”

He met my eyes and offered a halfhearted smile. “Thanks for talking to me

about him before getting the kids involved.”

“You know I"d never blindside you with something like this.”

He laughed. “To be fair, I never thought you"d
do
something like this.”

“That makes two of us.”

His laughter faded a bit. “And yes, it"s a little weird, but…” He glanced in

Austin"s direction again and exhaled. “You guys really are happy together, aren"t

you?”

“Yeah, we are.” It was my turn to glance at Austin. “It"s been strange. I won"t

lie. But he"s a great guy.”

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Lauren Gallagher

Michael nodded slowly and took a breath. “Well, occupation notwithstanding,

it"s good to see you happy with someone. It"s been way too long.”

“Tell me about it.”

He looked at his watch again. “I should run. Carrie and the kids are waiting on

me.”

“Right. Okay.”

We both stood and went to the counter to take care of our tabs. Once we"d paid,

we went outside to join Austin.

“It was, um, nice meeting you, Austin,” Michael said. “Even if we got off to a

rocky start.”

“It happens,” Austin said. “And it was nice meeting you too.”

“All things considered right?” Michael laughed.

“Yeah.” Austin chuckled. “All things considered.”

My ex-husband looked at his watch. “Well, I"d better go.” He hugged me and

kissed my cheek. Then he and Austin exchanged a handshake that was far less

hostile than their initial one.

Michael started down the sidewalk, and we headed in the opposite direction.

Austin slipped his hand into mine.

“Well, that was relatively painless,” he said.

“Better than I expected it to be.” I shot him a playful glare. “Though was it

really
necessary to antagonize him?”

Austin didn"t even try to look sheepish. “He started it.”

Rolling my eyes, I elbowed him. “Jesus, do I have to keep the two of you

separated?”

“Wouldn"t break my heart,” he said.

“I"m sure.”

Austin laughed, then released my hand and put his arm around my waist. “He

really wasn"t that bad. Trust me, I expected a lot worse.”

“Still,” I said. “I wanted to smack him about half a dozen times.”

“Yeah, me too.” He smiled. “Honestly, it"s okay. I"m just glad he didn"t get too

bent out of shape or threaten to take your kids.”

I shook my head. “No, he won"t. He told me as much, and I trust him.”

Austin nodded. “Good.”

I chewed my lip. “He
would
like us to hold off on having you meet the kids,

though.” I looked up at him. “Are you, I mean, I hope that"s—”

“Jocelyn.” Austin stopped, and so did I. He touched my face and looked in my

eyes. “Baby, of course I"m okay with it. There"s no rush for any of this. If he needs

some time, that"s fine.”

“I know. It just bugs me when people treat you like a damned leper.”

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121

Austin laughed softly. “It could be a lot worse, believe me.” He kissed my

forehead. “Today was a good start, and he"ll come around. Besides,” he said,

combing his fingers through my hair, “I"m not going anywhere.”

“Actually, yes you are.”

His eyes widened. “I…am?”

“Mm-hmm.” I grinned, sliding my hands up the front of his shirt. “You"re going

back to my place. With me.”

One corner of his mouth rose slightly. “And what am I going to do when I get