Damaged and the Saint (8 page)

Saint was different after breakfast. Relaxed and tense at the same time. His dark eyes were soft, yet his jaw tight. By the time we arrived at the empty gym after a quick stop upstairs to brush our teeth and fill up water bottles, Saint was making me nervous.

“I know how to set the treadmill speed,” I said when he leaned over to push the buttons for me.

“I want you to take it easy,” he muttered, tense again. “Gotta keep you healthy for the paintball matches.”

Saint set the speed to the lowest option. Even wanting to complain, I kept my mouth shut. The anger rushing off Saint scared the shit out of me.

“Did I do something?” I whispered.

His gaze met mine. His expression unreadable, Saint finally sighed and all the tension disappeared.

“You’re so damn tempting.”

I gave him a little smile. “I did get highlights recently.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it.”

Saint left me to walk while he stretched before his run on the treadmill. “I should warn you that I get pretty sweaty when I work out,” he said, glancing at me and smiling. “Better keep your eyes on the TV since I don’t want you falling under my spell.”

“Vanity is very attractive.”

“Not as sexy as those highlights.”

I planned to say something smartass until he yanked off his shirt. Watching Saint stepping onto the treadmill, I hated the bastard for being so unbelievably perfect. Had he gotten work done to make his body look so good?

Increasing the speed on my treadmill, I focused my mind on the upcoming paintball games rather than the sweaty body a few feet away.

The other teams were filled with killers and not the cuddly sort like from the crew. Enforcers and the Rutgers twins and that guy Lenny who licked his teeth when he saw Raven for the first time. I needed to be on the top of my game if I wanted to avoid embarrassing myself. Damp panties and dirty thoughts weren’t helpful.

Except Saint looked like a warrior god next to me. Running at a steady pace, he watched the overhead TV. I wanted to watch it, but Saint proved a better view.

We worked through the final half of a Frasier episode before someone entered the gym. I looked back to see the freaky tall enforcer whose name I didn’t remember. Saint never turned around or slowed his pace.

“Go away,” he said in a hard voice. “Ocupado.”

The guy left without saying a word.

“You really don’t like sharing,” I laughed.

Saint glanced at me and grinned. “No, I really don’t. I did that for you though. Figured you didn’t want a guy checking you out.”

“I am very vulnerable.”

Saint’s grin widened. “So very vulnerable.”

“Thanks for protecting me then.”

Giving me a nod, Saint returned to watching TV and kept running for another twenty minutes. I increased my speed twice until I was at a light jog. My knee was just starting to act up when Saint began his cool down.

Stepping off the treadmills, we stared at each other. I hated how my body reacted to the sight of his sweaty body. I also loved how my body reacted. Arousal both made me feel dirty and happy.

“I know we were goofing off earlier, but I really am attracted to you,” I said, forcing out the words.

“I know,” Saint said, grabbing a towel and wiping the sweat from his neck. “If I was into guys, I’d be attracted to me too.”

Rolling my eyes, I stomped towards the door. Before I got too far, Saint pinned me between him and the treadmill. I was ready to complain until I noticed his dark gaze.

“It’s more than the highlights, isn’t it?” I teased.

“It’s nothing personal,” he said in a hungry voice betraying his words. “I have a thing for women with flushed cheeks.”

I forced myself to hold his gaze, needing him to see me. One day very soon, this amazing man would be gone from my life. Knowing I would suffer for not knowing him, I held his gaze until he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “Temptation is a bitch.”

“It’s just the flushed cheeks,” I muttered.

Saint’s lips caressed my temple, sending shivers through me. All those warm feelings landed between my legs. Panicking, I backed up, but the treadmill kept me from escaping. Saint finally shifted to the side, so I could flee.

I hurried to the door before pausing to think about why I was running. I wasn’t afraid of Saint. I was afraid of how he made me feel. I feared my body’s reaction. Running from my demons wasn’t an option. Closing the door, I faced Saint.

“Temptation really is a bitch,” I said, crossing my arms over excited nipples.

Saint nodded, handing me a towel. “I doubt it’s natural for people like us to be friends.”

“What do you suggest then?”

“Nothing. I’m just spitballing.”

Giving him a smile, I followed Saint from the gym. We stood on opposite sides of the elevator then avoided each other in the apartment. Once cleaned up and dressed, Saint focused his gaze on me. I saw immediately how he was hiding behind one his bland masks.

“There’s a meeting this afternoon to organize our paintballs teams. We should pick up Chinese after I get back tonight.”

I looked around the apartment then grabbed my bag. “I’ll be back later then.”

“You can hang out here, if you want.”

"I have things to do. The girls are getting together and Winnie texted to see if I could drop by. I'd rather do that than wait for you."

"I guess."

Knowing he was in a weird mood, Saint likely worried I wouldn’t return. Or maybe he was hoping I wouldn’t. The vibes coming off him ran both hot and cold.

“I could take my stuff and sleep at my house tonight.”

“Is that what you want?” he asked casually.

“Is it what you want?”

“I’m okay with whatever you decide.”

Frowning, I placed my hand on his arm and demanded his attention. “I don’t want to decide. I want you to decide.”

“Fine,” he said, taking his keys from the table. “You’ll sleep here tonight.”

“Well, alright then. If you're leaving, I'll go run errands. We'll meet up later for dinner.”

Grinning, Saint opened the door. “See how easy that was?”

“Yeah, just like pulling teeth.”

Saint grinned wider, but said nothing. He remained silent all the way to the parking garage. Only when I climbed on the Harley did he regain his voice.

“Be careful,” he said.

Glancing at Saint, I was again hit by the realization that one day soon he would be gone. I gestured for him to come closer and Saint obeyed.

“I like Chinese food,” I said, caressing his cheek.

Smiling faintly, Saint mimicked me by caressing my cheek. “So do I.”

Our gazes held for another moment then I sighed. “I’ll see you tonight.”

His fingers lingered before he finally stepped back. As I left the parking garage, my mind raced with memories of the last twenty four hours. In fact, I found myself missing him by the time I got a block away.

Guys like Lenny were common within the illegal communities of the world. He was an insecure asshole who crushed other people as a way to feel better about his sad self. I’d bet he started out bullied as a kid before becoming a bully when he got big enough. Now he spent his life searching for new victims.

Logic dictated Lenny shouldn't start shit with the guys Memphis brought to Ellsberg. These killers were more valuable to the bosses than Lenny was. Yet apparently, the idiot wasn't a big believer in logic.

I saw him hounding Shadow. While the guy was huge, he was also basically mute. Lenny figured the giant wouldn’t squish him. I spotted Cowboy whispering to Shadow, likely mocking him for taking Lenny’s shit. As the assigned babysitter for these idiots, I walked over to make sure punches didn’t fly.

Cowboy wasn’t mocking Shadow though.

“Stomp him like a bug,” he whispered to the silent man in the middle of a staring contest with Lenny. “No one will care. Do it and I’ll give you twenty bucks.”

Lenny rolled his eyes, but deep inside, he was probably nervous. If Shadow fell on top of him, he’d be lucky to break free with only a few broken bones.

“You two,” I said to Cowboy and Shadow, “go play with Dutch. Learn to work together and stay away from Lenny. He’s on my team. If anyone gets to crush him, it’ll be me.”

Cowboy gave me a nod, happy to keep his pretty face intact. Shadow possessed only one facial expression, so he went from staring blankly at Lenny to staring blankly while walking away.

The guys worked with the paintballs rifles, getting the feel of them. Keeping an eye on the men, I imagined Cooper’s guys prepping for the match. Not really his guys, just Harlow. Was she training with them right then?

“Should we have a game plan?” one of the Rutgers twins asked.

I needed a minute to figure out he was the less horny brother Camden. “Such as?”

“The goal is to take out Cooper’s groups, right? So who are the weak links?”

“The girl,” Vick announced. Mikey’s main muscle continued, “She’s gonna slow them down, so we take her out first.”

Like the pro I was, I hid my irritation. “You’d think that, right?”

“Or,” Dutch said, looking tired, “you leave the weak link in the game, so she’ll slow them down. Why take out their liability? It’d be like them taking out Lenny minutes into the game.”

Lenny glared at Dutch who pretended not to notice. I wasn’t the only one wearing masks.

Camden jumped in with his two cents, “Maybe the girl is their ace. She’s smaller than the rest of us and can hide in spots we can’t. They know the landscape better than we do and they've been training together for months. Let’s not make any assumptions about them.”

Dayton rolled his eyes. “Show off.”

“Your syphilis is showing.”

While the brothers beat on each other, I focused on Lenny who looked ready to say something stupid. I hoped my dark glare would inspire him to keep his mouth shut.

“I don’t care if she’ll slow them down or not,” Lenny said, immune to my signals, “First thing off, I’m dropping the bitch.”

Dutch smiled at those words while the rest of the guys looked relieved they hadn’t said them. Lenny noticed their signals, irritating me even more. Hell, the bastard even looked shocked when I pinned him against a car.

“I’m shacking up with that bitch,” I said calmly as my knife shined just over his throat. “If anyone shoots her anywhere besides the outer thigh, I’ll shoot them in the face and I won’t be using a paintball gun. Are we all understood?”

The guys behind me muttered affirmatives, but Lenny was a special kind of loser. He hated me for being stronger and better than him. Looking into his blue eyes, I saw a lifetime of feeling like the victim of others. He knew he was vile, but figured it wasn’t his fault. The world fucked him over, so he was only fighting back against the injustice.

“There’s no shame in backing down to a man like me,” I said, returning my gaze to the blade. “It doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it makes you smart. A survivor doesn’t start fights he can’t win. Only a fool challenges someone who kills for a living. You’re not a fool, are you, Lenny?”

“Naw, I ain’t.”

Letting him go, I stepped back. “Then you stay away from my woman and focus on shooting someone worthy of your attention like the Reapers’ enforcers.”

As much as I wanted to kill Lenny, the Memphis bosses wouldn’t be happy. At least, they’d want me to wait until the games were over. Arlo always complained when he was inconvenienced. “I hate to micromanage,” he told me a thousand times.

I allowed Lenny to save face even while forcing him to back down. The other guys understood the rules regarding Harlow and I retained my position as top dog. Even scaring the shit out these men, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to call a few loyal people to let them know who to kill if I went missing in Ellsberg.

Farah lived in a nice house in the suburbs with her handsome, rich, MC president husband and their new baby. Everything was picturesque in her life, yet she seemed tense when answering the door. Dark hair hanging loose around her shoulder, Farah stared with big, worried brown eyes that betrayed the smile on her face.

Inside the house, I found everyone had already arrived. Winnie sat with Jace who was working on his school assignment. Lark held her son Leo while Raven held her niece Phoebe. Next to them, Tawny held her niece Lily. Finally, I smiled at Maddy holding her daughter Scarlet in the kitchen.

“Was I supposed to bring a kid?” I asked.

Bailey appeared behind me with Sawyer and nodded. “It’s just like Harlow to come empty-handed.”

“Hello, B. Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“I skipped so I could take part in this intervention.”

“Who are we ganging up on? Are you sure it’s not you?”

Sitting next to Winnie, Bailey waved her hand dismissively. Sawyer yanked on Jace’s hand and he followed her into the backyard. Once the older kids were gone, everyone looked at me.

“We’re worried about you,” Lark said softly.

“Why?”

“Because you’re stupid,” Raven answered helpfully. “It’s not your fault. Saint’s hotness has made you dumb. We’re here to help.”

Farah wrapped an arm around me and guided me to an empty chair. “Ignore her. We care about you and want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I don’t need help.”

“My lush uncle said the same thing at his intervention,” Maddy announced while bouncing a cranky Scarlet.

Bailey opened her mouth to make a rude comment to her sister-in-law then changed her mind. “I’m nice now.”

“Are we not eating lunch?” I asked.

Raven looked up from where she was playing with Leo. “We’ll eat after we do the group pity thing.”

Frowning, I crossed my arms and waited for them to judge me. I could handle it. I was ready for whatever they dished out. Well, until Winnie gave me her sad-eyed look.

“This guy is a killer.”

“So is Cooper, Judd, Vaughn, and Tucker. Oh and I doubt Dylan got patched into the club based on his boyish good looks. So what’s your point?”

“You don’t know anything about him,” Farah said when Winnie fell silent.

“You didn’t know anything about Cooper until you got to know him. We didn’t know anything about each other in the beginning. I think you’re all being obnoxious to think what you have is different.”

“So you think Saint is the one?” Raven asked. “I mean, are you planning to be Mrs. Saint?”

Bailey snorted. “Mrs. Saint.”

While Raven gave Bailey a wink, Tawny stood up and walked to me. Looking so much like her older sister, she knelt in front of my chair.

“I knew Judd was special even when he was grumpy with me. I just felt it deep in my gut. He seemed all wrong maybe, but he made sense to me. We don’t know Saint, but you do. If you say he’s a good man, I’ll believe you. You’re no fool when it comes to men.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Tawny. I appreciate you treating me like an adult and not a child,” I said, glaring at Bailey then Raven.

“You moved into his place like after a day,” Bailey whined, standing up and walking over. “Who the hell does that? I didn’t do that and I’ve been known on occasion to be impulsive.”

“Saint is only in town for a short time. It’s not like I have a lot of time for him to train me before he leaves.”

“Training you to do what?”

“To be stronger and learn how to handle myself in a fight.” The girls studied me with expressions that said I was lying. Wanting them to believe me, I continued. “He challenges me, but not in a mean way that makes me shut down or lash out.”

“I don’t get it,” said Bailey.

“He’s hot and makes her feel good about herself,” Tawny said, bumping Bailey out of the way. “Harlow has this handled.”

“Maybe you do,” Raven announced, walking over with Leo. “I’d just keep in mind how you’re the only girl on the paintball team. There might be a bet among the out of town guys to see who bangs you. Just saying you ought to be careful and trust no one. Well except us. We’re always solid.”

“I’m not dumb or too trusting,” I muttered, now worried Saint’s interest in me were a game.

Farah walked over, using Lily as a buffer between her and the other girls. The cute baby thing worked every time.

“Intervention is over,” she said. “Harlow heard our concerns and she has it handled. Let’s eat the Mexican takeout Tawny brought for lunch.”

Raven wrapped an arm around Tawny. “My unborn son is a spice freak. Thank you for obeying his needs.”

“You’re getting weird.”

Raven shrugged and looked at Lark. “You were weird when pregnant.”

“No, I wasn’t. Besides, I was baking two babies. Personally, I think you got nailed in the head too many times at the Thunderdome.”

With the focus on pregnancies and babies, I could breathe again. Winnie appeared next to me while the others moved to the kitchen.

“You were there for me with Dylan,” she said, hugging me. “I’ll be there for you with Saint. Just don’t forget to ask for help if you need it.”

Smiling, I leaned into her hug and shook off the feeling of being ganged up on. I hated having them think I needed a lecture. They should know I would never be a sap when it came to a hot guy. On the other hand, I worried my history of distrusting men made me easy prey for someone as smart as Saint.