Damaged and the Outlaw (11 page)

“I really don’t
care, Raven.”

Sliding off the
dresser, she walked to the bed then crawled closer.

“Oh, shit, are
you going to cry?” she asked, grinning. “Please, don’t. I have no tolerance for
tears.”

I smiled. “Fuck
off.”

“Let me kiss
away that pout.”

When Raven
kissed me, I fought the urge to return her affection. No, I wanted to treat her
like crap and piss her off. I wanted to shove her out the door before I got to
wondering where she was every minute or making plans for the weekend or some
other whipped shit. I wasn’t in the position to get so attached, but Raven was
addictive and she was rubbing this fact in my face now.

“I really do
like you,” she said, cupping my face. “Even though you’re a melodramatic bitch,
I think you’re funny. No guy has ever made me laugh and you do it so easy.
That’s a gift.”

“Shut up,” I
muttered.

“I didn’t think
I could be friends with a guy because they suck and I hate them all. The only
ones who don’t piss me off are the ones conjoined with my sister or friends.
You should piss me off and you do a little, but I want to be your friend.”

Raven tugged off
the tee and rubbed her body against mine. Straddling me, she cupped my face
with her soft full tits.

“I can be a good
friend,” she whispered. “Hold your pretty hair when you puke. Tell you you’re
not fat when you can’t fit into your pants. Fuck you really soft when some mean
girl hurts your precious feelings.”

“A mean girl is
hurting my precious feelings right now, but I’d rather fuck hard.”

Raven ran her
fingers through my hair as I sucked her nipple into my mouth.

“I wish we could
be more, Vaughn, but we’re too fucked up to be more to anyone. We’ll just be
friends. Even with my rude mouth, I do take care of my friends.”

Licking the
nipple I’d tasted, I smiled at her. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Raven shared my
grin as she lowered herself on my waiting erection. We sighed in unison as her
pussy swallowed me whole. As our bodies worked together in a steady rhythm,
Raven and I watched each other. In a different world as different people, we
might be something amazing. In this particular world as these particular
people, we would be the best friends anyone had ever seen.

Never did my
mother watch us play roller derby. She never came to a school event and she
never met a single one of my teachers. The only stepdad who ever showed
interest was the creepy one. Shaun came to my fifth grade Christmas show and
clapped really loud. Afterwards, he hugged me in the weird way I’d learned to
ignore until he started hugging Lark the same way.

Growing up, I
knew a lot of kids didn’t have such great parents either. Ellsberg had a trashy
section with all the trailer parks. While those kids probably had plenty to
bitch growing up, at least their drunk and tweaker parents showed up for school
functions. They might stumble around. Or cheer like at a monster truck rally
and embarrass their kids, but they showed up. My mom didn’t because she didn’t
want to and that was what mattered. With my mother, her needs were above all
others.

Even with Larry
who controlled her every fart, she was happy because she had a man. Margo lived
her life in several stages. Stage one: hunting for a man. Stage two: the
honeymoon period of loving a man. Stage three: the tension of a failing
relationship. Stage four: depression at losing a man. Back to stage one.

Men always left
my mom and she never left them. Even if they were pure shit, she clung to them.
I was the same way. With Dex, I could barely tolerate being in the same room
with him, but I didn’t ditch him. I held on until he made a run and I couldn’t
catch up.

The sickness was
generational.

One day, Vaughn
would shake me loose. I would be outraged and maybe trash his Harley. He’d call
me a crazy bitch. I’d cry and whine and swear off men. Everything was already
written in stone and I should aim for a little dignity. I needed to end things
before he did and Vaughn was close to walking away. He seemed restless when I
spent the night and was probably looking for his out already.

I wasn’t letting
go though. Not yet. Not until he pried me off him. Vaughn was too perfect in a
flawed world not to embarrass myself over.

Dressed for the
fight, I caressed my inner thighs and smiled at their tenderness. Vaughn might
want his space, but he still fucked me senseless the night before. I also made
him laugh so hard he nearly choked. If I ignored his bad moods and occasional
struggles for freedom, we’d spent a great evening together.

“I’m going to
crush your pretty face, bitch.”

Turning around,
I saw the redneck skank I was fighting. She had a few inches on me and more
than a few pounds. I’d seen her in the halls before, but I’d never seen her
fight. Not that it mattered since I got paid whether I won or lost.

“You hear me,
bitch.”

“Save it for the
cage,” I muttered, turning back to tie my shoes.

“Listen up,
bitch!”

“Shut the fuck
up!” someone yelled nearby. “I have a headache.”

Redneck bitch
was about to mouth off until she caught sight of the Dragon sitting up from the
bench nearby.

“I’m trying to
take a fucking nap between fights. Do you mind?” he said, glaring at us.

“Why should I
care?” she asked with less heat to her voice.

“Because I hit chicks.”

We stared at
Dragon whose dark hair hung in his eyes, giving him a boyish look. With his
hard body covered in wounds, new and old, there was nothing boyish about the
rest of him.

Redneck bitch
shrugged. “Take your fucking nap,” she muttered, walking out.

“You’re
welcome,” Dragon said to me.

Standing up, I
frowned at him. “I didn’t need your help.”

“She’s going to
sit on you,” he said then laughed. “The minute you start beating her, she’ll
sit on you and win. I’d bet money on it.”

Laughing too, I
threw a towel at him. “It’s not funny. Based on her breath, I think she ate
chili recently.”

Dragon nearly
fell off the bench laughing. “I don’t look forward to using the cage after you
two.”

All I knew about
Dragon was that he was a college student, never lost a fight except for the two
times he was knocked unconscious, and the girls all claimed he was gay because
he wouldn’t fuck them.

“I’m Raven,” I
said when we finished laughing.

“Nick. I know
your sister. How is she feeling?”

“Like a tiny
person preggers with twins.”

Nodding, Nick
leaned back on the bench. “Not to be rude, but I really do have a headache.”

“Sure. I’ll try
to keep my screams for help to a minimum.”

Closing his
eyes, Nick grinned. “Just remember you get paid either way. Plus, you’re pretty
enough to overcome stinking.”

As Nick rested,
I walked out to the cage where Redneck Bitch waited. Turned out that not only
did my opponent have a name, Trina also had a fan club who chanted her name as
we faced off.

Looking around,
I realized no one was chanting my name. I spotted Vaughn in the front row where
Tucker’s buddies sat. He was yelling, but the crowd was so loud I can’t tell
what he was saying.

Vaughn looked
hotter than I remember and I remembered him being unbelievably fucking hot. With
his hair pulled back in a ponytail, I saw how badly he needed a shave and I
imagined the stubble against my skin. He wore a dark gray Harley shirt tight
across his powerful chest. I allowed my mind to return to his tattoos and thick
blond chest hair hidden under the tee. As he stood in the stands surrounded by
lesser beings, I spotted his dagger necklace. I remembered how it swayed as he
moved inside me.

While my mind
was on Vaughn, Trina took her first shot before the bell rang. Fortunately, her
aim was off and she only clipped the end of my nose. The bell rang and Trina
rushed at me. She couldn’t fight for shit, but she was bigger and wanted to win
more than I did. At that point, I just didn’t want her sitting on me in front
of Vaughn.

Between the crowd
noise and Trina’s warrior yell, I could barely focus. I still managed to dodge
her a few times before I came up with a plan that wouldn’t end with her using
me as a chair.

Sure, I could
punch her hard and knock her ass down. I knew how to fight and it didn’t
involve screaming like an idiot and doing windmills with my arms. On the other
hand, if I hit her and she fell, I just knew she’d land on me. Normally, I
wouldn’t care, but Vaughn was there and I didn’t want him laughing at me.

Except he was
laughing at me. I caught sight of him clapping and laughing as I ran away from
Trina. The fucker thought my horror was hilarious and maybe it was, but I was
still pissed. Now, I needed to win and there was only one way to ensure I
knocked the ever living shit out of Trina Warrior Princess.

Rage.

Stored deep
inside me, rage waited for the right or not so right moments to break free. Now,
was a perfect time, so I thought about Phoenix. The way my little brother
followed me around all of the time. How he cuddled in my bed when the monsters
under his bed scared him. Mostly, I thought about how he looked dead in the
pool with his little truck floating nearby.

When all that
rage rose up in me, I unleashed it on Trina who was still chasing me around the
cage.

The first punch
took her off-guard. The second one to her jaw made her stumble. Trina tried to
hit me back and I think she might have gotten a shot in, but I was too angry to
care. Too many ugly memories haunted me and I took them all out on her face.

Soon, she was on
the ground, her body caving under my fists. Her cries no longer of the warrior
sort. Trina felt the wrath of my disappointing life. Not just mine, but those
of Lark and Phoenix. Before Axel pulled me off my crying opponent, I found
myself punishing the people who would take Vaughn’s life one day soon. I hated
them without knowing their names or faces. I didn’t care who they were or why
they wanted Vaughn dead. They were fucking evil and I wailed on Trina until
Axel dragged me out of the cage to the frenzied applause of the crowd.

I’d given them a
show and taught Trina a lesson, but the rage didn’t just leave me once the
fight was over. I felt so much pain and hate. The hot water of the shower
washed away the blood, mine and Trina’s. My inner pain was barely dulled.

The only way I
calmed myself was to imagine those nights hiding in the closet with Phoenix and Lark. Cuddled together, we were safe in each other’s arms as Margo and her
asshole husband fought. I couldn’t even remember the fucker’s name anymore. One
day, I might forget the little golden highlights in Phoenix’s hair or the
freckles on the tip of his nose. I hated to think his life meant to little.

Overwhelmed with
those memories, I wanted to see Lark and hold her against me like I did in the
closet. I couldn’t though. I was banged up and she was likely resting for the
evening. Having ditched her to run away, I was on the outside now.

Walking past
Trina as her friend patched up her face, I just wanted to get outside where I
could breathe. In the hallway, people tried talking to me. Yet, I heard nothing
more than Lark’s sobs as I jumped into the pool to save Phoenix.

By the time I
got into the dark night, I wiped hard at my wet eyes and told myself to get a
grip. He was dead and had been dead for longer than he lived. That awful day
couldn’t be changed and he wasn’t coming back. Crying was pointless.

Hearing
footsteps on the gravel parking lot, I glanced back and saw Vaughn approaching.
I turned away and wiped at my eyes with more vigor. Crying was embarrassing
enough without Vaughn watching.

“What’s wrong?”
he asked.

Something about
his tone and the scent of his chocolate body spray relaxed me too much. I dove
against him and hugged him the way I couldn’t hug Lark. Vaughn tensed when I
first grabbed for him then relaxed against me. His arms wrapped around me and
he stroked my head. Soaking in his strength, I was safe with Vaughn and I
needed to feel safe.

“I’m glad you
were here,” I mumbled against his chest.

Vaughn tensed
and I finally let him go. Staring up at him, I saw something in his expression
that I hadn’t seen before. Vaughn stepped back. Not in a real obvious way, but
I felt the distance between us. It killed me that he wanted out. Well, not out.
We weren’t together and never would be. I knew this fact, but maybe he didn’t
know I knew.

“I get the
score,” I told Vaughn. “I know we’re just friends. You look at me like I’m in
love with you, but I left town and people got used to me being gone. My friends
all have men and some have kids. Lark has Aaron and needs to rest. The people
I’m used to relying on are busy with their lives, so I grab onto Bailey and
you. That’s all it is.”

“I know.”

“Do you? The
look on your face seems like you think I’m a needy bitch. I mean, if you’re
just sick of having me around or need a break or whatever, I get that. If
you’re thinking I’m holding onto you because I expect something from you like
dating or whatever, then don’t worry.”

Vaughn looked at
me for a long time. I suspected he was wondering how to tell me to fuck off. He
had that look on his face and I waited for him to say the words.

“Do you like to
bowl?” he asked.

Remembering what
Aaron said, I nearly jumped up and down in relief. Instead, I only shrugged.
“Sure. I’m pretty good too. Why?”

“We could go
bowling. I should warn you that I’m like championship bowler good. I’ll crush
you.”

“If you’re so
good, why didn’t you go pro?”

“Peaches, don’t
be stupid. I’m too damn hot to be a pro bowler. I don’t even have a gut to work
with.”

Caressing his
hard stomach, I smiled. “I’m sorry your good looks kept you from your dream.”

A grinning
Vaughn cupped my face and kissed me hard and hungry. I met his need with my
own. Forgetting about friends with benefits or boundaries, I only knew he felt
strong and safe. He felt like home and I didn’t want to let go.