Damaged and the Bulldog (17 page)

Lark began suffering from Braxton Hicks contractions
when she reached the six month point. They were merely practice for the real
deal. If she rested on a different side or elevated her feet, the contractions
ended. Just after Thanksgiving, they began at eleven in the morning and didn’t
stop no matter what position she tried.

After a short period of denial, Lark knew a trip to
the hospital was necessary. First, I called 911 since she was high risk and
giving birth in the car wasn’t happening. Next, I contacted Aaron who was
golfing with his dad and Cooper. Finally, I got hold of Raven.

“I’m scared out of my fucking mind,” Lark said as we
waited for the ambulance.

“If it’s for real, they’ll give you an epidural and
you won’t feel the pain of the contractions. Then they’ll prep you for the
surgery. It won’t take long for them to get the babies out then you can see
Phoebe and Leo. Oh, and Aaron will be with you during the C-section.”

“Do you remember that from your baby?”

“No. I looked it up on the internet.”

Lark smiled. “It’ll be okay. It’s a good hospital and
they know how to take care of preemies. My doctor has experience with them too.
It’s okay.”

Rubbing her feet, I tried to stay calm so she would
remain calm too.

“By this evening, you’ll know if the babies have curly
hair like Aaron did.”

Lark’s eyes lit up. “I’m going to see my babies. I
know I might not be able to hold them if they’re in those incubators, but I can
touch them and see them.”

The paramedics carried Lark to the ambulance on a
stretcher. She looked embarrassed to have the attention, but I teased her about
being a queen carried around by hunky slaves. The paramedics like that too.

Sitting up front, I peeked back at Lark whose cheeks
were red like when her blood pressure spiked. I heard the paramedics with her
say they were already prepping at the hospital for an emergency C-section. It
wouldn’t be long, he promised.

I remained with Lark in the hospital room until Aaron
arrived out of breath from running.

“My muse,” he said, taking her hand.

Leaving them alone to prepare for the surgery, I
walked into the waiting room. Cooper patted the chair next to him and I joined
him.

“She’ll be okay,” he said, sounding convincing.

I didn’t feel like talking, so I texted Dylan, Harlow,
Mom, and Dad to let them know what was happening. Cooper spoke quietly on the
phone with Farah who was on her way with Tawny.

First, Dick and Maryann arrived then Raven not long
afterwards with Bailey.

“We were shopping when you called,” Bailey announced
as Raven hurried to Lark’s room.

Joining her brother, Bailey tapped her foot and stared
at the door.

“How long will it take?”

“Patience,” Cooper muttered then returned to talking
with Farah.

Bailey changed seats, so she was next to me. “Don’t be
scared. Pixies are powerful creatures.”

Smiling softly, I took Bailey’s hand and waited.
Others arrived. The Smith sisters arrived, followed by Vaughn, Judd, and Tucker
then Maddy after she dropped off Scarlet with the Johanssons. Finally, Dylan
and Nick walked into the waiting room.

Diving for Dylan’s arms, I focused on his heartbeat,
rather than the hospital noises around us.

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered.

Even nodding, I had a bad feeling that happy words
wouldn’t fix.

The door to the room opened and Raven emerged followed
by Aaron who followed a nurse down the hall. A gurney with little Lark exited
next. I heard her tell Raven everyone would be okay. Raven said the same thing
back to her. Once Lark was around the corner, Raven yanked Vaughn out of the
waiting room and away from prying eyes. I know she didn’t like for people to
see her cry.

The next hour felt like ten. Sitting with a Kindle
each, Bailey and Nick worked on reading assignments. Maddy and Tucker watched
something on his phone. Tawny and Judd walked the halls then sat outside in the
courtyard with Vaughn and Raven. I didn’t know what to say or do, so I stared
at the floor. Dylan watched the news on the overhead TV. Cooper consoled a
crying Farah.

“Ignore me,” Farah said when Dylan glanced at her. “I
cry easily and the hormones aren’t helping either.”

Dylan nodded then returned to watching TV. All the
while, he held my hand snugly in his.

The moment Aaron appeared, we all prepared for good
news. The babies were here. Lark was fine. Congratulations all around.

Instead, the clearly freaked out Aaron walked to his
parents.

“Something went wrong,” he said, his voice uneven.
“After the babies were out, the machine tracking Lark’s heart rate made alarm
noises. The doctor said she was bleeding too much and I needed to get out so
they could work.”

Maryann hugged a shaking Aaron while Dick went to get
answers. I didn’t know what to do for him. All I could think of was Lark
surrounded by strangers. Even knowing she was likely under anesthesia if things
were really that bad, I still hated her being without Aaron.

Dylan pulled me into a hug. “Lark will be okay. Don’t
let her size fool you. She’s a fighter.”

I knew Dylan was scared too. Lark believed in his
ability to be more than Larry. She inspired him and those changes led him to
me. Lark had so much light in her little body, so I closed my eyes and imagined
her back home. Picturing her next to Aaron on the couch she wanted to torch, I
saw her holding one baby while he held the other. In my mind, the crew
surrounded the new family. We were together and everyone was safe.

Cooper threw his weight around and Dick charmed the
nurses, but no one gave us any info for another hour. We didn’t even know if
the babies were healthy. Through it all, I leaned against Dylan and focused on
the image of us all packed into the Craftsman house. I prayed hard for the
picture in my head to become reality. Lark and Aaron deserved a long happy life
together with their babies.

When the doctor walked out to the waiting room, I
refused to look at him. I wasn’t giving up the dream until reality tore it
away. Dylan tensed while waiting for the news, but I kept my eyes closed and
imagined Lark healthy.

Dylan spoke to me, but I didn’t want to hear bad news.
Finally, his persistence forced me to listen.

“She’s out of surgery and going to be okay.”

Opening my eyes, I glanced around and saw everyone
smiling with relief. Aaron and Raven were desperate to see Lark, but she wasn’t
in her room yet. Instead, they were taken to see the babies who were also okay.

Dylan lifted my chin so my lips could meet his. I
kissed him hard, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion I’d held tight inside me.

“Good things happen,” I said, crying now. “Sometimes I
forget that even when I have a blessing right in front of me.”

Dylan wrapped me tighter in his arms and smiled
against my lips. “Me too, but I never lost faith in little Lark. If anyone
could kick death in the ass, it would be her.”

I laughed at the thought of Lark versus the Grim
Reaper. When my laughter drew the attention of the others, they laughed too,
even without knowing why. All the tension faded as our fears turned to
celebration.

“Shit, I’m gonna get teary-eyed,” Vaughn announced,
looking at his phone.

We all received the same message from Raven with
pictures of the babies.

“Which one’s the girl?” Judd asked, squinting at
Tawny’s phone.

“The one with the pink hat,” his wife said.

Everyone laughed again.

“You can’t see if they have curly hair,” Cooper
muttered. “Man, I hope at least one of them does. I’m never letting Aaron live
that shit down.”

More laughter as everyone enjoyed the additional
photos Raven sent. The babies were so small and I faintly remembered what Jonah
looked like when he was born. He was bald, I recalled that much.

“One day…” I said to Dylan who smiled.

“An itty bitty Winona to own my heart.”

Smiling, I shivered at the thought of experiencing
motherhood with a man like Dylan at my side. We were not ready yet. One day
though...

The crew headed to Tequila Jodi’s for a celebration.
Raven and Vaughn arrived an hour after everyone. They made up for their
tardiness by binge drinking a bottle of tequila. Well, Vaughn did. Raven binged
on a pitcher of Diet Coke.

“I might be binging for two!” she announced then sat
down to look over the pictures of her niece and nephew.

Harlow showed up with Toni. While her mom joined Jodi
at a back table, Harlow made a beeline for Winnie.

“Are you okay?” she asked, studying Winnie’s face.

“Yes. Are you?”

Harlow rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”

Winnie glanced at me and I saw such peace in her eyes.
When she looked back at Harlow, her smile brightened.

“Lark and the babies are okay. Today is a good day.”

Hugging her sister, Winnie couldn’t stop smiling.

“Are you drunk?” Harlow asked.

“I’m happy.”

Harlow studied her sister again and checked her hands
for new bruises. “Do you plan to sleep at home tonight?”

“No, I’m staying with Dylan.”

“Any bad memories about the baby?”

“Only hopeful thoughts about the future.”

Harlow frowned at me then shrugged. “I can imagine you
two making a decent looking kid. Your pretty eyes and hair and his…well shaped
head. Yeah, it’ll work.”

Running a hand over my head, I laughed. “My head shape
is helluva sexy.”

Winnie’s calm infected Harlow who laughed and ordered
a soda. The sisters danced with Bailey and Sawyer to
Amos Moses
. I knew
Winnie wasn’t comfortable showing off in front of people. Whenever she got
nervous, she glanced at me and relaxed.

“Wedding bells,” Nick said from beside me. “You didn’t
waste any time.”

“She calms the asshole in me and I calm the broken
girl in her. What’s there to wait for?”

Giving me a grin, Nick shrugged. “When you know, you
know.”

Sharing a smile with the still dancing Winnie, I knew
she was mine and always would be.

Our wedding was on New Year’s Eve. In a decision seeming
odd to some people, Kirk walked me down the aisle. He was the one who saved me
from hell. I asked Dad to marry Dylan and me in the church I viewed as a second
home.

The wedding remained low-key. No fancy dresses or
tuxes. Everyone arrived in casual attire. Harlow was especially thrilled since
she hated dresses almost as much as Tawny. All of the girls were my bridesmaids
including Lark. Though still weak, she was happy to be out of the house. Dylan
chose Nick as his best man, mainly to piss off Cooper. Ring barer Jace escorted
flower girl Sawyer down the aisle, eliciting oohs and ahhs from the adults in
the church. His expression was priceless.

After the wedding, everyone headed to the meeting hall
at the bowling alley. We ate dinner, danced, and eventually bowled. Vaughn and
Raven loved the reception so much they planned to have theirs at the alley when
Lark was a hundred percent.

I felt so confident by the time we bowled that I beat
Vaughn easily. Once Dylan declared we needed lame bowling shirts likes the V-Team,
a rivalry was born. A year later, we bought Winnie the Pooh themed bowling
shirts. Vaughn mocked us while Raven pitied us. Oh, but how they fumed when we
kicked their asses and pointed to the smiling Pooh on our shirts.

The day after the wedding, we moved into our house. We
spent the honeymoon unpacking and staying warm by the fire. I had a little
trouble sleeping in our new room. Okay, a lot of trouble really. I needed meds,
Cookie Monster, and a lot of help from Dylan to get through the first night. As
much as I loved our home, I couldn’t relax.

The next day, we had my family over. The next night,
Cooper and Farah joined us for dinner. Every evening afterwards, another couple
from the crew visited. Soon, the house didn’t feel new. It felt like a home.

Dylan’s business slowed during the cold winter months,
but I remained busy with Lark. Until she brought the twins home, I’d only held
a baby once and it ended with me sobbing. The twins left no time for tears or
panic attacks. Lark claimed the babies already tag-teamed any adult watching
them. Whether she was paranoid or perceptive, we created a system to keep the twins
cleaned, fed, and as quiet as possible.

Often we sat on the couch with the twins and simply
looked at them. Lark traced her baby’s face, studying its features. I copied
her with whatever baby rested on my lap. Soon, I was comfortable touching a
baby and looked forward to holding one.

Leo preferred Lark and cried when I cared for him.
Instead of crying too, I learned to ignore his displeasure while I changing his
diaper or preparing a bottle. Phoebe was easy-going. When she stared at me
while I fed her, I found myself thinking about Jonah. I’d never felt a
connection with him. Not when he was inside me or when I held him. When I
looked at pictures of him, I felt no parental pride. He was my son, yet didn’t
belong to me.

One day I woke up next to Dylan and decided I wanted a
baby of my own. I craved what my friends experienced. After a year of marriage,
I knew I was ready to love a baby like it needed to be loved. Dylan was nervous
because he loved only me. A baby was an abstract idea, but I was real and he
wanted me safe. In the end, Dylan relented when I refused to give up my dream.

Harlow returned to Ellsberg for the births of my
children. I knew she’d always worry about me because I was the fragile sister.
Each time she arrived, I saw the concern in her eyes. By the time she’d leave
town again, Harlow trusted in the life I’d built with Dylan.

When I was pregnant with Shelby, Dylan decided he
needed a tattoo to celebrate our love. The Johanssons and Nick tattooed their
women’s names on their wrists. Dylan wanted something grander. After he and
Aaron worked on a design, I was presented with a colorful and rather feminine
Winnie the Pooh on his chest. The tattoo was so perfect that I asked him to
rest on his side facing me, so I could fall asleep looking at it.

For each of our children, Dylan added a honey pot with
the baby’s name. Later, Shelby and Shane learned to spell their names from
studying Daddy’s tat. Dylan often declared himself a genius to have come up with
the idea. I had to agree.

Many days, I still couldn’t believe Dylan loved me. He
felt like a dream and I often reached out in the morning to touch him to be
sure he was real. This touch often led him to touching me. Soon, touching was
all we thought about and our days tended to start rather late. By the time I
crawled lazily out of bed, I was very certain my dream guy was real and he was
very much mine.