Cryostorm (16 page)

“Mom always said sex was like giving away part of your soul.” Georgia smiled. “And Nate is all about you, wanting to keep you safe, do everything right by you.”

“And look at how I treated him by contacting Zach.” I could punch myself. “I’m such a jerk.”

“You’re not a jerk, you were worried. You screwed up, okay? Nate will understand.”

“Shit.” I glanced at the bathroom door. “Okay. I have to tell him. I have to ask him to do this for me. Don’t I?”

“Yep.” She grabbed my shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

“I know, but lying to him hurts him. And if you sneak away to try and do this on your own, that’s lying. He’ll just come looking for you.”

“Damn you and your logic.” She was right. I needed to woman up and do this. I didn’t love Zach like that anymore. I was worried for his safety.

I followed Georgia back to our work space, and as we approached, Nate asked, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Um. We need to chat.”

His eyes widened, but then he nodded quickly. “What’s wrong?”

I glanced at Georgia again as I sat in my seat, directly in front of Nate. I sucked in a deep breath, closed my eyes, then let it spill.

“I found Zach. He’s at Stutton’s Gas-n-Rest in Prusing, Wyoming. It’s a few hours drive from here, and he’s expecting to meet me, so I’d like to go rent a car, drive there, and meet you all back in Colorado.”

I think even the people around us stopped talking, because silence suddenly rang like a gong in my ear. No, that was my raging pulse drumming my eardrum.

After two long breaths of utter silence, I cracked my eyelids open. Georgia shook her head. Yeah, I probably didn’t say that in the best way possible, but it was like the Band-Aid method. Rip it off fast, less painful.

No, it was more like I needed to spit it out before I wimped out and did something even
more
stupid, like bolting.

Tim and Nate stared at me, and Lois chewed her bottom lip.

Nate’s mouth opened, then snapped shut.

“How?” Tim said.

I glanced at my blue fingernails, then to Nate, but his loving stare convicted me so deeply, I had to look away. I wouldn’t be able to handle the hurt that would come over his bright eyes when I said what I needed to say.

“You couldn’t have found him, Jess hasn’t even been able to.” Tim went on. “How—”

“I talked to him the other night in a private chat room he’d set up way back over the summer. He was there. I chatted under a false name. He figured out it was me, and he’s on his way to Minnesota because Jess heard about our little encounter and told Zach.”

Ouch.

A long, slow breath released. It was Nate. He looked to the ceiling, then scrubbed his face with his hands. I’d never seen him do that.

This was going to be bad, wasn’t it?

“Are you sure it was Zach you spoke with in this chat room?” Nate asked, staring past me.

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“It was a private room he created to speak with me back in July.”

Nate nailed me with an intense stare. “July? You’ve been talking to Zach in this room since July?”

“No.” I reached toward him, then second guessed that. “I just opened it. I—”

“No,” Nate said. “First, we need to decide what to do. Then you can tell me your excuses.”

Ouch.

“No way should she go get him alone,” Georgia said.

“I agree,” Nate said. “Tim?”

“We go together or not at all.”

“Not at all?” I squeaked. “Not at all? I can’t leave him stranded in the middle of nowhere. He’s vulnerable.”

“As we all will be if we go,” Nate said. “It could be a trap, whether you want to believe that or not, Mandy, someone could have grabbed his computer. Forced him to tell you that. Any possibilities could exist.” He shook his head. “When did you say you’d meet him?”

“I told him a few hours and that he should stay put.”

“Even with her speed, Jasmine can’t get that far that fast.” He clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue. “I can, though.”

“You mean run two hundred miles?” I asked. “No. We’ll drive.”

“I don’t want you going there. Not if it’s a trap.”

“Well you can’t go in either. We’ll go together,” I said. “Me and you. Would you do that for me even though I lied to you?”

He lasered me with a look, and his nostrils flared. Without a word, he stood and walked out of the café.

Georgia’s wide-eyed gaze followed after Nate. “Where—”

“Just give him a second,” Tim said. “He’s pissed.”

I slouched.

“I can’t believe you did that, Mandy,” Tim said. “Do you know what he’s gone through for you? He gave up everything to take care of you. So did I, and with one
stupid
decision, you ruined it.”

“I’m—”

“No she didn’t. The Agents already knew we were alive. It’s not her fault,” Georgia said. “She didn’t mean for this. It’s—”

“The Agents knew about us, yes, but contacting Zach, knowing what a terrible state of mind he was in. Of course he’d do something stupid.” Tim shook his head. “Now we all have to suffer for your choice and turn back, delaying our trip to Colorado.”

I hopped to my feet and bolted toward the door. Tim was right. I really screwed things up this time. For everyone. And I hurt the one person I cared about most in the world. The one person I loved with my entire heart.

Once outside, I looked up and down the sidewalk. Only unfamiliar faces and gaits greeted me. “Nate.”

I hurried to the left. “Nate.”

“Here.” He stepped out from beside the building, arms crossed over his chest.

“Nate. I’m so sorry. I—”

“It’s okay. I needed to get some air.” He smiled, yet it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll go with you. Actually, I’ll go ahead of you to make sure he’s okay.”

“No.” I stepped forward. “We go together. Like Tim said. All or nothing.”

He shook his head. “They should go on to Colorado. If GEM is as connected as I think they are, they might have the ability to fix your death and bring you back to life. We need to get them involved as soon as possible.”

“But we shouldn’t split up.”

“You wanted to go alone five minutes ago. What’s changed?”

“I’m not sure. I’m sorry. Just—can you—will you forgive me?”

“Of course.”

I felt a “but” coming. Like a big one. Something to the tune of, “
I forgive you but I never want to speak to you again.
” He had every right to say it if he did. I hoped like hell he didn’t. Despite my stupidity with the Zach situation, I loved Nate. Only Nate.

The dreaded words never came. Nate stood there watching me, but the brilliance in his eyes didn’t flicker like it normally did.

I’d ruined things, hadn’t I?

“Let’s get back inside and figure out a plan.” He stepped to the side to go around me.

I grabbed his arm. “Wait.”

“Mandy, we have limited time.”

“Yell at me. Okay? Do something. React. Tell me how much you hate me for lying to you. Or how betrayed you are because I talked to my ex-boyfriend when I’m supposed to be dead.”

He moved so fast I didn’t even register he’d pinned me against the brick wall until he had. “I don’t hate you. I l-l-l—” He shook his head. “I can’t say it. I want to, but I can’t. I’m scared it’ll—” He released his grip on my shoulders. “Don’t you know I could never hate you? Don’t you know how much I died when you died those three times in the car after you’d fallen? I breathed for you, Mandy. I kept your heart beating until you could turn on your healing power again. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

Tears stung like acid. “But—”

“There’s no but when it comes to you. Remember what I said in my apartment when I first kissed you? When you asked me if I worried about rebound?”

I nodded, vocal cords paralyzed with utter shock. I thought for sure I’d made him hate me.

“You’re worth the risk. I didn’t expect your lies to hurt so much, but I see why you didn’t tell me. I hate that you didn’t tell me, that you didn’t trust me enough.” He shook his head. “You’re all that matters to me, Mandy.”

“Wow.” I shook my head. “That was completely unexpected.” I didn’t deserve him or this ring of his I wore.

A sliver of cold slid down my back, and I quickly remembered I was standing out in the frigid winter air with only a sweatshirt on. Funny how the cold air affected me, but not when I turned on my ice.

“
You
are what was completely unexpected, Mandy Hillman.” Nate buried his fingers in his hair. “Completely unexpected. I can’t explain what I feel. I—”

“Scared?”

He slouched, sucked in a deep breath, and nodded.

“Of what?” That worried me. Nate never got scared. Ever.

The muscle along his jaw twitched and his fists tightened.

“I’m scared you’ll be killed. I don’t know how to be without you.” He shook his head. “That in itself is illogical, but I know nothing else. I can’t remember how I’d existed before you.”

“I—I—don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay. I don’t expect you to say anything. I didn’t intend to tell you all of that, but it’s true. It’s something I can’t grab onto, logically. All I know is what I feel.”

My heart cracked. I knew I loved him. I really loved him. Sure, I’d loved Zach, but this was different. Like he said, I couldn’t imagine ever being without him. Ever.

“Nate.”

He faced me, eyes downturned. Love shouldn’t make someone sad, should it?

“I lo—”

His finger over my lips stopped me from saying it. “Don’t say it. It’s too much. With everything out there, I don’t want you to say it now. It’s forced.”

“No it’s not. I want to say it. It’s true.”

A smile filled his face, and that time it flickered his eyes, the way I like. So he knew I loved him, even without me saying the words, he knew.

He leaned down and brushed his lips to mine. They were cold, but had a hint of vanilla coffee to them. I curled my arms around his neck and melted against his strong body. His warmth encompassed me like an electric blanket. Didn’t matter that it was below freezing outside, that Agents were after us… Only Nate mattered.

I buried my face in his neck and hugged him. Sure was glad he had super-strength and didn’t break easily, because I was holding on tight. “I’m sorry, Nate. It’s you I want. Only you.”

And I’d prove it. I’d show him I was worthy of this ring he gave me, that I was worthy of his unconditional love.

He leaned back and smiled. “I know you’re sorry. You know you can trust me with anything, right?”

I nodded.

“So, even if it scares you, tell me what’s going on. Don’t hide anything from me.”

I kissed his lips and said, “Together. Me and you. Anything and everything.”

“Exactly.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Ready to go get your ex-boyfriend?”

Chapter 23

“D
rive past the station,” Nate said. “I’ll hop out a few blocks down and run a perimeter. See anything, Tim?”

“Nope. Clear. Well, at least I think it is.”

“Not very reassuring, buddy,” I said as I maneuvered the car to the side of the road.

“I’ll meet you there.” He winked at me and opened the door.

Georgia hopped out of the back and jumped up front. I watched Nate take off in a jog while looking around, then disappear in a blur. That never got old. It was a thing of beauty.

“Forgiving, huh?” Georgia winked.

“Well, you know me. I tend to screw up. Need a little forgiving—er—a lot of forgiving.” I smiled. A quick glance showed me it was clear, and I steered the car out into the street.

“Let’s get Zach and go,” Georgia said. “I’m ready for some help from this GEM place.”

“If GEM’s even real. Or legit, because I’ve not heard a thing from them,” Tim said from the backseat. “I would have thought they would have hacked my message and found us by now.”

Even if this Dustin guy turned out to be everything we’d hoped, I didn’t think I’d ever
fully
relax. Nothing was that easy for me.
Ever
.

Except falling for Nate. How had I been so lucky to find someone like him? I glanced at the diamond ring on my finger and smiled. He’d forgiven me. He’d not only told me, but I felt it, too. There wasn’t any distance or retaliation for my lies. Just total and complete forgiveness.

I vowed, right then and there, to never fail him again. And I wouldn’t. He deserved the absolute best from me, and I was going to give it.

“There. On the left,” Tim said. “I think I just saw Nate zooming around the corner, too.”

I found a parking spot close to the front door and scanned the entrance. Double doors, clear glass except for the metal frame and handle. To the left was a row of windows, and I could see booths lined that wall. Each booth was full, except the last one.

So far so clear.

“See Zach?” Georgia asked.

“Not yet,” I said as I slid the gear into park. “I don’t see his Jeep, either. If he still has it.”

Georgia pushed open her door. Lois and Tim followed suit. I turned the engine off and pushed open my door. Smells of gas and baked goods tickled my nose. The hum of tires on pavement sounded like an orchestra on the interstate behind me. Some variation of a car or SUV occupied each pump while elevator music piped through the speakers.

Further in the distance the sun began its decent. We should have been in Colorado by now. My heart cracked at that thought.

“Coming?” Georgia asked.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” I slammed my door and hurried after her. Lois and Tim followed behind us.

Once inside, I scanned the room. To the right sat the convenience store portion of the rest stop with several rows of products. A handful of people lingered, moving up and down the short aisles. Straight ahead were the restrooms. To the left was the restaurant portion. The booths lined the wall that had the windows. People filled each barstool at the counter, facing the kitchen.

I moved ahead, passing by the booths and veered left to see more booths.

And there sat Zach.

I stopped and Georgia bumped into my back.

Once someone who stood and sat tall, Zach slouched. His normally glowing skin was paste-like and dull. The curls I’d once enjoyed running my fingers through were disheveled—and not in the stylish way.