Crushing on the Wrong Joshua (4 page)

“Good deal!” Mary smiled.

“I've only found the lavender one, but it's almost three times what I'm allowed to spend,” Tamara sighed.

“How much is it?” Mary asked.

“One hundred seventy-five dollars,” Tamara frowned.

“Don't worry about it, sweetheart,” Mary said, “I'll cover the rest.”

“Really?” Tamara asked.

“Really!” Mary laughed.

After Amber changed out of the dress, the girls paid for the purchases and said goodbye to Mary. She looked sad to see them leave, but they were starving and it was lunch time.

“She's a good woman. She should have had another kid after Katie died,” Tamara said.

“Truth,” Amber nodded.

“Look, Amber, I meant what I said earlier. I'm starting to worry about you. You're too wrapped up in that damn boy,” Tamara said, stopping her and pulling her next to the wall.

“It's okay, Tamara,” Amber smiled, “He's going to be my date to the dance.”

“No, he's not, Amber,” Tamara sighed, “That's what I mean. You've got to give this up. If he hasn't noticed you yet, he's not going to! I don't want to watch you spend the rest of high-school pining over that jerk!”

“I'm not going to be pining over him, Tamara,” Amber sighed, “He's going to ask me to the dance.”

“Do you have dirt on Sandra or something?” Tamara asked.

“No, I just have a feeling,” Amber grinned, “Now can we go eat?”

The girls ordered tacos from a local joint that had said up shop in the mall's food court. They were chowing down when the hair on the back of Amber's neck stood up.

“He's here,” she hissed to Tamara.

“Who?” Tamara asked.

“Joshua Nelson, he's here,” Amber whispered.

“Oh, him,” Tamara sighed, “Where is he?”

“I don't know, but I can feel it! He's here!” Amber said.

“You're right,” Tamara laughed, “Look behind you. He is here. He's here with Sandra.”

“What?” Amber said, turning to look.

Joshua Nelson was standing in line at the burger joint with Sandra hanging from his arm. Sandra was tall and lean, with long dark hair.

“I'm going to go walk by,” Amber said.

“Don't, please, Amber, just give it up,” Tamara sighed.

“Shush!” Amber said and stood up, “You're my BFF! You're supposed to be my moral support!”

“It's my job as your BFF to tell you when you've lost your mind and girl, you're getting close!” Tamara said, grabbing Amber's arm, “Just finish eating and we'll go find some cute tops, okay?”

“I'll only be a minute,” Amber smiled and gently broke out of Tamara's grasp.

After checking her reflection in the napkin dispenser Amber sauntered by the burger line. Joshua was leaning down, whispering something in Sandra's ear. Sandra's throaty laughter vibrated through Amber, unnerving her. Were they laughing at her?

“No, it's true,” Joshua laughed, “That's exactly what happened.”

“I believe you!” Sandra said. Amber could tell by the look in her eyes that she was lying.

Amber walked by the line three more times before finally giving up. Joshua Nelson hadn't spared her the first glance, so forget about the second glance. Had she done the spell wrong? Did she mess something up? No, she had followed the instructions carefully. Maybe spells took time to take affect, like some medicines? That had to be it! She'd just have to hang around Joshua until it kicked in.

Amber slid back into the booth she shared with Tamara and grinned at her.

“Don't smile like that! You look like a damn fool, Amber! That boy isn't going to notice you,” Tamara snapped.

“Shh!” Amber chided, “Don’t' be ridiculous, of course he's going to notice me.”

“Where do you want to go now?” Tamara asked, when Amber had finished her tacos.

“I thought we'd wait around and see where Joshua headed,” Amber said.

“Why would we do that?” Tamara asked, arching a penciled on brow.

“If I'm not around him, he can't notice me,” Amber said.

“I'm not going to spend my Saturday chasing around that pretty boy,” Tamara said, “If that's what you want to do, fine! I'll call my mom to pick me and leave you to it on your own!”

“No!” Amber said quickly, “I don't like being here by myself.”

“I know that, but I'm not enabling this crazy obsession of yours!” Tamara said.

“Fine,” Amber sighed, “Let's go to Gatti's and look at tops.”

“See, now that's what I'm talkin' about!” Tamara grinned, taking Amber's hand and pulling her to her feet.

Amber followed Tamara to Gatti's, but neither her heart nor head were dedicated to shopping. She kept looking back over her shoulder waiting for Joshua to come running after her. After she found two cute tops at Gatti's (a blue one and a green one), they moved to the next store, because Tamara wanted to look at jeans.

Amber stood awkwardly against the wall watching her friend look through the racks. She had more money to spend, but her heart wasn't in it. What was the use of shopping if it didn't give her a warm tingly feeling?

“Ain't you even gonna look?” Tamara asked.

“I am looking,” Amber sighed.

“I'll be ready in a minute,” Tamara said.

“No, take you're time,” Amber said, “I'm fine. Really, I am.”

“No, I'll be ready to like leave the mall,” Tamara said, “You're spaced out and you need to finish your homework anyway, remember?”

No, she hadn't, until Tamara brought it up.

“Yeah, you're right,” Amber nodded.

An hour later she was sprinting up the stairs two at a time to her bedroom.

“Are you okay?” her dad called after her.

“I'm fine!” she shouted back and slammed her bedroom door shut and locked it.

Amber sank to her knees and began to ruffle through her backpack. She pulled out the spell book and flipped to page one hundred seven and reread the spell.

“I did everything! I did everything perfectly! I know it! Why isn't it working?” she whispered desperately, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to swell over her eyelids, “Why isn't it working? This was my last chance and somehow I've blown it!”

Chapter Four

Monday mornings were always rough. Amber found this particular Monday morning to be an act of cruel and unusual punishment. She had managed to finish all of her homework (including the makeup work for Mr. O'Bannon), but her spirits hadn't improved.

Amber spent Sunday afternoon checking Joshua Nelson's social network pages again and again, searching for the smallest indication that he was thinking about her. He had to be thinking about her! The spell was going to work! It had to, because without it she would never gain Joshua's attention.

Amber stared at her feet as she waited for the school bus. She kicked a rock and watched it skip across the street. Amber felt just like that rock. She was pushed around and kicked around by everyone, and no one noticed. It didn't matter on which side of the street she landed. The bus pulled up and opened its doors. The entrance looked like a hungry mouth waiting to devour her. Amber took a deep breath and hefted herself onto the bus.

“What a great way to begin a week,” she thought to herself and rolled her eyes.

“Good morning,” the bus driver grinned at her.

“Don't be such a morning person, Larry,” Amber groaned as she made her way to the back of the bus.

Her stop was the third one of the morning, so only three other students were on the bus. Greg sat by himself in a middle seat, reading a paperback thriller. Allison and Julia sat with their heads together a few seats in front of Amber gossiping. Amber wished that Tamara would ride the school bus with her. With someone there to moan and groan to, she wouldn't feel so alone.

Amber stared at the window and tried not to imagine what it would be like to attend another school dance without a date. It wasn't that other guys hadn't noticed her. Greg had flirted with her every single day on the bus last year, but she just couldn't bring herself to be interested in him. When she finally told him, he had quit talking to her and returned to his normal routine of ignoring the world for his love of fiction.

Amber zoned out through most of her history class. Although she did manage to obtain the notes she had missed from Friday. She turned in her report and left without engaging in her usual after-class discussion with Ms. Frary.

She arrived to Math class two minutes early and placed her makeup homework on Mr. O'Bannon's desk.

“Very good, Miss Atkins,” he said.

“Sure, Mr. O'Bannon,” she sighed and slid into her desk.

“Is everything okay at home?” he asked.

Amber glanced around the room trying to figure out who he was talking about. When she found the room empty, she knew he was talking to her.

“Of course, everything's fine at home,” she sighed.

“Hi,' the guy who winked at her on Friday said as he walked by on the way to his desk.

Amber nodded on at him unable to muster the energy involved in producing a verbal response.

At lunch Amber sat with Tamara at their usual table and kept her eyes locked to the back of Joshua's Nelson's head.

“Notice me!”
she silently willed him,
“Notice me!”

“He's checking you out,” Tamara said, taking a long drink of her chocolate milk.

“Maybe if he has eyes on the back of his head under that thick luscious hair of his,” Amber sighed, picking up a fry and dropping it again.

“Not him,” Tamara sighed, “That guy over there.”

“What guy?” Amber asked, still frowning.

“The one at the table by the wall and he's cute too,” Tamara said.

Amber waited a few seconds after Tamara finished speaking before she turned her head to look. It was the guy from Math. Great, what does he want? Most likely help with his homework. Amber laughed quietly as she turned back to Tamara.

“What's so funny?” Tamara asked.

“Nothing, really. It's nothing. He's just in my math class,” Amber said.

“What's his name and stats?” Tamara asked.

“DKDC,” Amber said.

“Huh?” Tamara asked.

“It's short for 'don't know, don't care,” Amber said.

“You should though, Amber,” Tamara sighed, “He's cute and he's looking at you.”

“You don't even know him!” Amber said.

“You don't really know Joshua Nelson, either, do you?” Tamara asked.

“Whatever,” Amber sighed and left the table, dumping her untouched lunch into the trash.

By the time the last bell rang Amber regretted tossing her lunch away. Her stomach growled as she dropped her books off at her locker and headed outside to wait for her dad. Tamara was standing in their usual spot and Amber stood a few feet away. Close enough for an apology, but too far away for normal conversation. She wasn't about to let Tamara off the hook if she didn't apologize. What was it to Tamara who she liked or who liked her?

Amber knew it was her bad mood brought on by the spell not working making her crabby. She wasn't ready to admit it out loud yet, though. Tamara would never let her live it down. For the rest of their lives she would tease and torment her over the fact she had actually tried to use a love spell to get Joshua Nelson's attention. She had also expected it to work. Amber wanted to bang her head into the pillar she was leaning against. Maybe a few hard knocks to the noggin would make her forget about the guy who had haunted her since fifth grade.

Tuesday wasn't much better than Monday. The day blurred by and Amber's classes blurred together. At lunch she sat across from Tamara and ate silently. Amber longed to have the spell book back in her possession, but the librarian had refused to allow her to renew it.

“Four days with the book is long enough,” the librarian had told her.

“What if I need to try it again?” Amber asked before she could stop herself.

“I assure you the spell worked,” the older woman promised.

“How do you know that?” Amber asked, but the librarian disappeared into the staff section of the library where Amber wasn't allowed to follow her.

“Are you still mad at me?” Tamara asked, startling Amber.

Amber took a bite out of a chicken nugget, trying to slow her racing heart.

“Act like she's not there. I don't hear you, Tam, I don't hear you,”
Amber thought over and over.

“I guess you are,” Tamara sighed.

Amber ate a fry.

“Damn straight, I'm mad at you,”
Amber said silently to herself.

“I'm just trying to help you, Amber,” Tamara said, “Please talk to me.”

She ate another fry. One of the cooks had been very generous with the salt today and Amber was going to enjoy every last salty bite.

“Okay, look, I'm sorry, I just wanted to help!” Tamara said.

“About time you apologize
,” Amber sighed to herself.

“Fine,” Amber sighed. Tamara had finally said the magic words. “I forgive you.”

“He's watching you again,” Tamara grinned.

“Most likely wondering why I keep licking all the salt from my fingers,” Amber laughed.

“Yeah, why are you doing that?” Tamara asked.

“We don't eat salt at home anymore. Ever since Dad's doctor put him on a new low sodium diet he makes me suffer with him,” Amber said.

Amber felt slightly better after making up with Tamara, but every second that passed made her doubt the existence of magic more and more. If magic was real wouldn't the spell have worked by now? It had been almost four whole days! Amber was beginning to believe the old woman was some sort of con. Who gave spell books to teenage girls and then refused to answer questions about it?