Cruise Control (Watchers Crew) (13 page)

Owl looked at me in wonder, like I was the most precious thing in the world. I studied his face, focused on his lips, waiting for him to give me that final push. He entwined his fingers with my own.

“Come for me, baby,” he whispered in my ear.

I let go of everything. Everything I was. Everything I thought. Everything I thought I wanted to be. There was only this, only him.

As my body released, Owl brought my face up to him and captured my cries. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life, Kira.”

Chapter Seventeen

A few hours later, I woke up alone in Owl’s bed. From the one window in his room, I saw that the sun was still out but starting to set. I stretched my limbs and felt the throbbing buzz that came as a result of a good work out. I smiled to myself. I had been worked out pretty good.

As soon as I had the thought I wiped the smile away. I’d just let two other guys fuck me. Not fuck me in the biblical sense with their own cocks, but they’d sure as hell touched me in every place where my bathing went.

I let the name slut whisper into my brain. I waited in stillness for it to stick. I waited in silence to greet the shame.

Neither happened. It may have sounded crazy, but the truth was that Eagle and Crow had been nothing but respectful as they’d fucked me with their fingers, mouths, and toys. I didn’t feel like a slut. I didn’t feel ashamed. I kinda wanted to do it again.

I got up from Owl’s bed. He’d laid me under his covers naked, but he’d laid out my clothes across one of the chairs in his room. I put my clothes back on. Then I froze. Out of the corner of my eye, sitting on his night table, was his cellphone.

I warred with myself for a good two minutes before old habits won out. I snatched up the device preparing to crack the code that would get me into his social media, emails, and texts. I glanced at the closed door to the basement, unsure how much time I’d have for my sleuthing. I swiped my thumb across the screen and… what the hell?

There was no passcode. His basic blue screen displaying all his apps came up. I could click any app and it would all open to me.

I looked up at the closed door again. Was this some kind of test? Was he laying in wait to catch me? Did he plant a fake text or email from a girl to see if I’d try to catch him? Or… or did he simply have nothing to hide from me?

I sat the phone back on his side table. I climbed the steps in a daze. The first person I saw in the early evening light was Ellie. She sat at the dining room table, fully clothed with her textbooks open.

She looked up and smiled. “Hey, Shakira. You have a good nap?”

It was strange to look her in the eye. We’d seen each other naked. We’d seen each other’s ecstasy faces. I wasn’t ashamed, but I still dipped my head down instead of looking her directly in the eye when I answered.

“Hey, sis.” I had to clear my throat before more words could get out. “Where is every body?”

“They’re all across the street in the shop. You want some pancakes? Hawk made them.”

“Your boyfriend cooks?”

“They all cook.” Ellie got up and made me a plate. “And your boyfriend is obsessive about cleaning. I thought this place would be a mess, and they’d expect me to be their maid. But I have yet to touch a pot, pan, or broom. I don’t think I’ll ever leave.”

I accepted the plate of pancakes Ellie sat down before me and took a seat at the table. “You live here?”

“Practically, but not yet. After graduation.”

Hawk’s pancakes were delicious, fluffy and sweet. I finished half of the serving before asking the next question, the one I really wanted to know.

“So you and Hawk are pretty serious? How do you manage not getting jealous watching him with other women?”

“The first time I saw him with someone else was not fun.” Ellie’s eyes narrowed in memory. “But after that… I don’t know? He looks over at me when he’s with someone else, like it’s almost a game and he wants me to see how well he’s doing at it. Or like he wants me to see what he’s going to do to me later. That probably sounds really messed up.”

I was no longer sure if it was messed up. Instead of responding, I put the last bit of pancake into my mouth.

“He always makes me feel included,” Ellie continued. “Even when he goes off and is alone with someone else. He always comes back and tells me about it -if I want to hear. There’s never anything to hide between us. It makes me feel safe with him, like I don’t have to worry about surprises.”

I pushed the empty plate away from me and chanced a look at Ellie’s face. “I’ve been cheated on before. A lot of times, really. With every boyfriend I’ve ever had, actually.”

“People cheat when they’re unsatisfied or denied something they want.”
 

Well, that was a slap in the face.

“No, no,” Ellie sighed and tried again. “I know because I cheated before; on my boyfriend before Hawk. We weren’t right for each other and I didn’t know that. Maybe none of those other guys were right for you, and they knew it? Maybe you knew it too? Maybe you kept only choosing guys who were wrong for you because you didn’t know what the right guy looked like? Maybe now you do and that won’t happen any more?”

I held my breath while Ellie contemplated her next words. I leaned in, my eyes not breaking contact with her face now.

“From what I know, and what I’ve seen, Owl has been nothing but loyal to you. He told me about you the first time we were… introduced. He’s surrounded by temptations and invitations every night, but since I’ve known him, he’s always told them all that he has a girl.”

Ellie’s words filled me up like cracking the code of an exes phone and finding no new texts or friend requests used to do. Her words validated every hope, wish, and prayer I had about my relationship with Owl, more than his words ever could.

Now, that was pretty messed up. The fact that I could trust someone else’s word so easily over my boyfriend’s. A boyfriend who’d given me no reason to distrust him. A boyfriend who’d held and kissed me while I came at the hands of two of his friends. A boyfriend who didn’t show an ounce of jealousy or anxiety when I was out of his sight. A boyfriend who left nothing locked up or hidden in my presence.

The back door opened and one by one the entire crew filed in. Hawk, who had been jabbing at Eagle, failed to duck a punch and got it in his arm. Hawk lunged for Eagle, but Eagle ducked behind Ellie as a shield. Hawk gave up his pursuit and reached for Ellie instead, bending her back and kissing her.
 

Eagle chuckled, left them, and came over and picked up my empty plate and utensils. “You good?” His eyes studied my face.

I nodded. He winked at me and brought my dirty dishes over to the sink.

Crow spotted me and wrapped me up in a bear hug. “Hey, Kira. I’m making pasta for dinner. You like pesto?”

“Yeah,” I said into the cushion of his chest. “That sounds good.”

Crow gave my shoulder a squeeze and went to the fridge to pull out the ingredients he needed.

Owl came in last. He leaned into Ellie’s ear and whispered something. Ellie giggled, turning her head towards him. Hawk jabbed towards him, but Owl ducked away laughing. Owl pulled a chair up behind me, draped his arms over my chair, and rested one hand against my heart. The other hand he used to make rude gestures at Eagle as they continued whatever argument they all had been having prior to coming into the house.

“You good, Kira?” Owl whispered in my ear.

I leaned my head back against his heart and closed my eyes. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Chapter Eighteen

With my belly full from Crow’s pesto pasta, I followed Owl down into the basement to get my purse and prepare to leave for the night. Owl jogged down the steps, in a great mood after good food and good conversation with his friends. I slogged down the steps, taking one at a time. My fingers alternately curled around the banister and then straightened to glide over it.

“Owl?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“You want to fuck Ellie, right?”

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me. His face screwed into a puzzle as though I were asking him a trick question.

I took the last step that put me onto the ground level. “I think I would be okay with that.”

Owl quirked that eyebrow up. “You
think
?”

I swallowed, gathering my courage. “I would be okay with it. But,” I took a deep breath. “But I would need something in return.”

Owl waited, watching me. His feet were planted apart in a firm stance. His arms were crossed over his chest. His face was impassive as he regarded me.

“I want to sleep with you. I mean
sleep
sleep. In your bed. With you. Afterwards.” I waited a moment for him to soak in all those caveats before I endeavored to explain any further. “I think if I could establish that closeness with you after watching you be intimate with another woman I would be okay with it.”

Owl unfolded his arms and brought me into them. “Kira, I’m not this close to any other woman. You mean more to me than anybody else.”

I took a moment, closed my eyes, and allowed those words to seep into my consciousness. “I hear you say those words. My logical brain takes them in, but my heart has trouble accepting it.” I opened my eyes, hoping this would make him see. “I’ve just had too many bad experiences to accept it at face value. I’m sorry.”

Owl sighed, placing both hands on the sides of my cheeks. He tilted my face up so that he could plant a light kiss on my eyelids. “You don’t have to apologize for what someone else did to you.”

“I’m trying, Owl. I’m trying so hard because I want this to work between us. I want it more than anything. But I need this one thing. For you to hold me, so I feel close to you. So, I don’t feel alone.”

He circled his arms around me and rested his head on top of mine. I knew he was thinking about it. I knew what his answer would be as our heartbeats fell into sync with one another.

“Deal,” he said.

I let out a breath I hadn’t known I’d ben holding and pulled back so I could see his face. “So I can stay tonight?”

He blinked. “You want me to fuck her now?”

I nodded. “You probably should before I chicken out. Show me that there’s nothing to worry about.”

*******

This was a first for me. I was watching my boyfriend finger fuck another girl without going into a blind rage. And even more interesting, I was sitting next to the girl-in-question’s boyfriend. Crow and Eagle had left for the evening, off to some other form of debauchery. It was just the two couples left in the house.

Owl had knocked on Hawk’s bedroom door just fifteen minutes ago and explained what we were doing there. After Owl made his request, Hawk looked over his shoulder at a lounging Ellie. Ellie rose from the bed and eagerly accepted Owl’s request. They brought in two chairs, shut the door, and Owl went to Ellie on the bed.

Owl wasn’t exactly finger fucking Ellie. He was giving her a massage with oils. I guess it was kind of him. After all, she’d just spent an hour fucking two other guys this afternoon, and likely had then come to her bedroom and fucked her boyfriend. Now, she had her legs spread for my boyfriend.

That word whispered across my mind again as I looked at Ellie: slut. But still, it didn’t stick or leave behind any of its shame. Ellie was my friend and, believe it or not, she was doing me a favor.

Here I was falling for a guy who liked to fuck other women. Both Owl and Ellie had offered me words to calm my fears. Now, the two of them were trying to show me with actions that I had nothing to be afraid of.

Owl squirted more oil into his hands and then spread it over Ellie’s abdomen. The entire room smelled of lavender and vanilla. I chanced a glance at Hawk, who sat beside me in a folding chair. I now knew the sight of his girl getting fucked wasn’t an issue for him, but I wasn’t so sure how he felt about having his room smell like a perfumery.
 

Hawk sat in a pair of boxer shorts with his legs outstretched and his arms crossed over his chest. He looked slightly annoyed. “Owl, are you gonna fuck her or what? I could’ve paid for a masseuse.”

“Just relax, man.” Owl knelt between Ellie’s opened legs. “Her body’s taken a beating. You don’t want me pounding into her and making her sore.”

Hawk huffed like a toddler and shifted in his seat.

“Breathe for me, Ellie.” Owl’s hands followed the path of Ellie’s breath, massaging up her diaphragm as she inhaled and then down and around her belly as she exhaled. “Would you like to come again, Ellie?”

“Yeah,” she said. “But I don’t think I can.”

Owl smiled. “Just relax and let me do all the work. I’ll get you there, I promise.”

Ellie smiled and closed her eyes, her entire body relaxed and opened. She clearly trusted Owl. Owl made small taps on Ellie’s pubic bone.

“Is this some Japanese voodoo shit?”

Owl grinned without turning to answer Hawk. “It’s samurai magic. Now, shut the fuck up while I make your girl see stars.”

I thought for sure, Hawk would jump out of his seat. But the thought of Ellie coming hard enough to see stars was a welcome idea to both him and his girlfriend. He sat back in his seat and was quiet for a few more minutes while Owl continued his massage of Ellie’s genital area.

Owl spread Ellie’s legs wider, likely for Hawk’s and my viewing pleasure. His fingers made direct contact with Ellie’s clitoris and labia. They lightly massaged her already plump lips and swollen clit.

I heard Ellie’s breathing pattern change. Her hips jerked slightly trying to anticipate Owl’s touch. He didn’t speed up his manipulations. He didn’t firm his touch. He pulled Ellie’s outer lips apart and gently massaged those. He looked alternately at what he was doing between her legs and at her face to gage her reaction.

I knew he was aroused. I could see it, but there was nothing lustful or lecherous in Owl’s eyes. He was attentive to his charge.

His eyes caught mine. A smile spread across his face. There, in his glance at me, I saw it. The lust he didn’t give to Ellie.

Owl wanted Ellie. I knew that. But when he looked at me… it was different. I couldn’t explain that look in his eyes and how it flicked to something else when it landed on me. It was like turning an overhead light on in a room lit by moonlight.