Crazy for Her (20 page)

“I understand. What’s your gut feeling?”

That there was a 99.9 percent chance Ballard was pulling Eli’s strings. “Like I said, I don’t know. I’m hoping it’s nothing more complicated than Eli’s always known about his twin, found out Evan died, and for some strange reason, fixated on you as a link to his brother.”

“Then his contention that I’m his wife would make sense in a warped sort of way.”

A growl rose, and Logan cut it off. He might be starting to feel sorry for Evan’s twin, he might not want to see him hurt if what he suspected was true, but she was not and would never be Eli’s wife.

He closed his computer, stacked up the satellite photos, and put them aside. “I want you to listen very carefully, Dani. Things are about to come to a head. I want—”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t know how, I just do. Maybe it’s a skill that began when I had to second-guess what Lovey Dovey and her johns were up to. For whatever reason, it’s always been that way for me, so don’t blow me off about this. They’re going to try something and it’s going to be soon.”

“I thought you said this was just poor Eli and his mixed up—”

Furious, he cut her off. “I’ve never once said
poor
Eli. Get rid of those soft feelings you’re starting to have about him and do it now. He’s out to do you harm whether he realizes it or not. Maybe he doesn’t, but I don’t give a damn. All that matters right now is this: You don’t go anywhere without me, you don’t answer the phone and talk to him anymore, and you don’t do anything I don’t tell you to do. You don’t step one foot out your door, even to go to the mailbox, if I’m not at your side. You got that?”

Her eyes narrowed as she stood and backed away. “Who died and put you in charge?”

Red tinged Logan’s vision. Unable to hold on to his more rational thoughts, he reared off the sofa, getting in her face. “Evan. Evan died and left me in charge. The last thing he asked me was to take care of you and his child. So that’s what I plan to do with or without your permission.”

Her face paled, and she sank onto the chair behind her. “The only reason you’re here is because of your promise?”

“I’m here because I fucking love you!” The words had tumbled out of his mind, across his tongue, and past his lips before he could stop them. They bounced around the room as he and Dani stared at each other in shock.

What the hell was wrong with him? Stupid, he was stupid. That’s not how you go about telling a woman you’re in love with her. The hope he’d been clinging to that she would come to love him faded with the vigorous shaking of her head.

“You don’t really mean that.”

Yes, he did. He was afraid he would only make it worse if he said anything one way or the other, and was so far out of his element that he turned to leave.

“Don’t you dare walk out, Logan. I swear to God, don’t you dare. You can’t make an announcement like that and then go hide away in your room because I didn’t react the way you wanted.”

He stilled, his back to her, his hands clenched into fists. “You’re right, I didn’t mean it.”

“I think you did,” she said softly.

Turning, he looked at her sitting in the chair, her hands clasped in her lap. Her hair tumbled around her shoulders, still damp from the shower, and all he could think of was how beautiful she was. He ached to pick her up, hold her in his lap, and promise her anything in the world, or not in the world. The moon, the stars, fucking Pluto if she wanted it, but the wary look in her eyes held him in place.

How long was this pain in his heart going to last? Forever probably, something he would just have to learn to live with.

“Forget it, Dani. I was just angry and said something I shouldn’t have. It’s my problem to deal with, not yours.”

Dani wished he hadn’t said anything either. Three simple words, four if she counted the f-bomb, and he’d changed everything between them. Not one of the three males before him had informed her of his feelings so forcibly and with so much rage.

No, her high school boyfriend, college boyfriend, and Evan had gazed into her eyes with stars shining in theirs and said the words with a sweet huskiness in their voices. Part of her wanted to laugh, the other, cry.

“Do you know what I hated the most when Evan was getting ready to deploy?”

Logan shook his head.

God, she hated the hurt shimmering in his eyes, but she had to make him understand why she refused to consider a future with him. “Would you please sit. You make me feel like you’re going to bolt any minute, and there are some things I need to say.”

He let out a weary sigh, but did as she asked and sat on the edge of the sofa, though he still looked as if he were prepared to flee. “I’m listening.”

“When he stopped shaving and let his hair grow. I hated it because it was a visual reminder every day that he would be leaving again. He always started a month before it was time to go. For four damned weeks, I had to watch him turn himself into someone who would fit in better with the Afghan people in the hope that it would make him just a little bit safer. But he was never safe, none of you were, and I always knew that. I can’t do it again, Logan. I can’t sit by the phone and wait for it to ring, or for Jake or Jamie to show up at my door telling me you’re dead. I won’t do it.”

His eyes were hard and cold, no hint of sweet shining stars. “In case it’s escaped your notice, I’m no longer in the Navy and don’t foresee any reason why I would ever return to Afghanistan. But that’s neither here nor there because you don’t love me and have no intention of trying. I get it.”

The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but she had. He used that ice-cold demeanor to hide the pain of the boy whose own mother didn’t love him, so how could he expect anyone else to? She moved to the sofa and clasped his hand. He held still, refusing to curl his fingers around hers. She might as well be kicking a lost puppy.

“I care about you, Logan. More than I want to, and I don’t think it would take trying very hard to love you. But I won’t let it happen unless you can promise me you’ll never go on another dangerous mission.”

“You are asking me to give up who I am, and I don’t know how to be anything else.” He pulled his hand away and stood. “And just suppose for a minute that I did and it turned out to be for nothing? Then where am I?”

He walked out of the room, his bearing straight and proud. Hot tears coursed down her cheeks. The ache in her heart was so intense, she feared she was already halfway to loving him.

CHAPTER TWENTY

D
ani watched the passing scenery as Logan drove her and Regan to the pediatrician. She snuck a peek at him. His gaze was straight ahead, his face devoid of any expression. He’d only said one word to her so far this morning. “Ready?” he’d asked when she walked into the living room with Regan.

Sighing, she turned back to the window. She missed the way he had looked at her as if she were a treat he couldn’t wait to devour. He hadn’t touched her once that day and she missed that, too.

The night before, she’d decided she was wrong not to give their relationship a chance. Like he said, even if he did stop going on missions, he could still walk out the door any time and get hit by a bus. There were no guarantees in life, and she was coming to believe that letting him go would be the biggest mistake of her life.

The realization had hit her around three in the morning when she asked herself one question. Would she still have married Evan if she’d known he would die? She didn’t even have to think about it. Yes. A hundred times, yes. Although their time together had been sadly short, she wouldn’t give it up for the world. She wanted the chance to explore the possibilities with Logan.

Just as she turned to tell him she had changed her mind, he pulled up to Dr. Gordon’s office. It would be better to wait until they were home, so she remained silent. Carrying Regan toward the door, Dani waited for Logan to put his hand on her lower back, the way he always did when he walked behind her. He didn’t.

There was no one else in the waiting room when she signed in. Taking a seat next to Logan, she said, “I always take his first appointment, so we won’t have a long wait.”

“Good,” he said, and picked up a magazine.

Well, wasn’t that something? He’d just doubled his word count for the day. “I really like Dr. Gordon, and little stinker here loves him.” As if she sensed the tension, Regan had been unusually quiet that morning. “I suppose I could go to one of those fancy, big places where they have fifty doctors, but I always feel like I’m just a number.”

He grunted and turned the page of his magazine. All right, she could take a hint. It aggravated her that he was acting like this, but then, who could blame him? Men didn’t handle rejection well, something she’d learned from her first boyfriend.

“Regan Prescott,” Dr. Gordon’s assistant called.

Dani stood. “Do you want to come with us?”

“I’ll wait for you here,” he said, flipping a page, his eyes never leaving the magazine.

“Suit yourself.” If he really were that engrossed in
Parenting
, she would do three somersaults across the waiting room.

She followed Amanda down the hall. “How’s that puppy doing?” Dani asked. “What’s his name again?”

The girl grinned. “Trouble, and he’s all that and more.”

Amanda showed Dani into the room, weighed Regan, and then left, saying, “Dr. Gordon will be right in.”

Cradling her daughter in her arm, Dani turned to the aquarium and pointed to a fish. “Can you say ‘fish’?”

“Ish,” Regan said.

The hand that covered her mouth in a crushing hold was unyielding. “Don’t try to scream, Danielle, unless you don’t care who gets hurt.”

She knew that voice, the one that was and wasn’t Evan’s. “Eli?” she said, pushing the name through his fingers.

His arm snaked around her waist, and he pulled her against him. “I knew it,” he breathed into her ear. “You’ve been waiting for me.”

Regan’s lips trembled, and her little arms wrapped around Dani’s neck as she buried herself into Dani. “Mama, wont Gan.” Dani had the absurd thought her daughter had somehow learned how to sense danger and knew who could save her.

“Please,” Dani begged, “I’ll do anything you want, just don’t hurt her.”

The body pressed against her back turned hard, anger radiating from him. “We would never hurt you or our child, Danielle. I am he and he is me. You belong to us.”

Oh God, he really was crazy.

Logan glanced at his watch. He should have gone in with them, but it was killing him to be anywhere near Dani. The entire night, he’d tossed and turned, unable to come to a decision. He could have her,
maybe
, or he could keep everything he’d worked his ass off to build.

It was the
maybe
that stopped him from signing K2 over to Maria. If he could be certain it was a sure thing, he wouldn’t think twice. Dani was worth any sacrifice. But if he gave it all up and then lost her, he would have nothing. Would be nothing. Again.

The sound of Regan’s crying reached his ears. Had the doctor given her a shot? He tilted his head and listened for her to stop. Then he heard it.

“Gan, wont Gan!”

Something was wrong. His heart in his throat, he threw the magazine aside and pulled his gun out of his boot. He ran down the hall, pushing past the doctor and receptionist blocking the door to one of the rooms. His blood turned cold, his heart turning to ice when he took in the scene facing him. He raced to the back door, almost tearing it off its hinges as he burst through it, searching the parking lot. Nothing. No car racing away, no Dani.

“Gan!” Regan cried out, and reached for him when he returned to the room.

She was sprawled over a young girl’s chest. The doctor glanced up from cutting the plastic ties from the girl’s wrists and legs. “What’s going on here?”

Ignoring the question, Logan gathered Evan’s baby into his arms and pulled the doctor’s assistant up. “Tell me exactly what happened,” he said, willing her to stay calm enough to talk.

She took a deep breath and then another. “I forgot to bring her file in,” she said with a glance at Regan. “When I came back, there was a man in here and he pointed a gun at me.” Her eyes veered wildly around the room as if to be certain the stranger was gone.

“After he tied me up, he dragged Mrs. Prescott past me. At the last minute, before he pulled her out the door, she tossed Regan onto me. He got really angry when she did that and turned like he was going to grab the baby, but Regan cried out and he pushed Mrs. Prescott out the door.”

She shuddered as she gave Logan a beseeching look. “That’s everything. Please, you have to find her.”

“What did he look like?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.

“Tall, shaved head . . . I’m sorry, I was so scared, I can’t remember anymore.”

Logan tried to find his breath. This was his fault. It had been his fucking pride that kept him from Dani’s side. He willed the Iceman to return. He’d never needed the coldhearted bastard more.

Grabbing his cell out of his pocket, fumbling it as his shaking fingers dialed, he barked orders at Buchanan. His next call was to Jared and Scott. Jared answered and Logan told him to go to Dani’s house, where he would meet him immediately, hanging up before any questions could be asked.

He grabbed a pen from the counter and wrote the license number of the Taurus on a prescription pad. “Call Detective Langley at the Asheville Police and report this. Give him this plate number,” he said over his shoulder as he strode out, Regan held tightly against his chest.

At Dani’s, he gave Jared a brief explanation and left Regan in the man’s care. Knowing it was useless to try and catch up with Eli, Logan drove to the airport and boarded the Lear that Buchanan had waiting for him. He had to believe Eli was taking her to Arkansas; otherwise he’d screwed up so bad he would never be able to forgive himself. He had a little over an hour to berate himself before the jet landed.

When the wheels touched down, Logan picked up his duffel bag and computer case, impatiently standing at the exit door when the Lear came to a stop. Knowing he had to stay focused, he put aside his guilt to be dealt with later. There was no room for more mistakes.

Turner waited at the bottom of the steps, took one look at Logan, and blew out a breath. “Hello, Iceman,” he said.

“When do Buchanan and the team land?”

“That’s them coming in now.”

Logan turned and watched the incoming jet. “You get us a conference room we can use?”

“Yeah. The greedy airport manager charged me two hundred, but it’s ours for as long as we need it.”

It could have been two thousand for all he cared. Worry about Dani’s whereabouts and fear for her safety kept trying to creep into his mind, but he shut the thoughts down. The only way to save her was to stay focused.

As soon as the others deplaned and got their gear stowed in the two rental vans, they all followed Turner into the small airport’s lobby. Logan caught the double take the girl behind the counter gave them. Probably not every day ten oversized men and one Barbie-doll lookalike—all wearing camouflage—filed by. The envious look she gave Barbie would have been funny if Logan had been in a mood to laugh.

He pulled Buchanan aside before they entered the room. “Are Jacobs and Boyer on their way to Asheville?”

“Should be landing any minute. Between Dani’s friends and our guys, Regan’s safe.” The look Buchanan turned on him was full of accusation. “How the hell did you let this happen, boss?”

“I fucked up,” Logan said, and then entered the room.

Barbie took a seat next to him and opened her laptop. She would man their base of operations, keeping track of each of them and coordinating the mission.

He looked around the table at the two teams, meeting the eyes of each one, letting them see his rage. Each one acknowledged him without a blink. The best of the best sat in this room ready to obey his every command. These men would put their lives on the line to save her. His fear for Dani eased, but only a little.

Buchanan would head up Bravo team; Turner, Delta team; and he trusted both with his life. But it was Dani’s life in jeopardy, and as badly as he wanted to rush into the compound and rescue her singlehandedly, he was going to have to put his faith in these men and Barbie.

“I’m going to tell you upfront,” he said, getting everyone’s attention. “This situation is personal for me, meaning I can’t guarantee my actions in the heat of the moment because I don’t give a flying fuck about anything but rescuing Dani Prescott. That’s a worst-case scenario for any mission because it increases the danger to you. If anyone has reservations about my leadership going forward, now’s the time to speak.” Holding his breath, he waited.

“Prescott was our brother,” Buchanan said.

And that said it all.

Logan took a few seconds to clear his throat. Damned thing felt like it was closing up on him. “We’re making an educated guess that Evan’s twin is bringing Dani back to the compound. Not only will he feel safe there, I’d stake Buchanan’s mother that Herbert Ballard is pulling Eli’s strings.”

“And he swears he loves my mother,” Buchanan muttered.

Logan nodded. “Never doubt it.” Barbie handed him the satellite photos and he passed them around. “If Eli drives straight though, he should be here in about twelve hours. Fortunately, there’s five miles between the turnoff from the highway and the compound gates. We’re going to intercept him somewhere along that road, get Dani, and be gone before anyone knows we’re here.”

“If we meet any resistance?” Crawford from Delta team asked.

Logan let them see the determination in his eyes. “Then we do what we do best.” Whatever repercussions resulted, he would deal with them. “If it eases your mind, I’ve called my contact at the FBI. I have no intention of hiding what we’re up to from the feds.”

“What about local cops?” Barbie asked.

“Probably in Ballard’s pockets, and if one should poke his head up, tie him to a tree and gag him.” His phone buzzed. “Kincaid.”

He listened to Detective Langley. Shit and fucking hell. When he hung up, he stared at the phone for a moment and then looked up. “Like we always say, the only easy day was yesterday. Cops found Eli’s car at a private airport. Dani Prescott left Asheville in a plane with three men about an hour ago. The only good thing about this news is that they filed a flight plan for Arkansas, so we now know for certain they’re coming here.” Never had Logan felt so helpless. He didn’t appreciate it one bit.

“New plan, boss?” Buchanan asked.

“New plan,” Logan answered.