Crazy Beautiful Love (9 page)

“What are you thinking
about?” She leaned towards the radio. “Can I put on some tunes?”

“Go ahead.” I
nodded without looking at her. I could feel my heartbeat racing, and I felt
uncomfortable with her in the seat next to me. I didn’t want her to be here
with me, yet I felt so alive, so excited,
so
happy to
have her here with me. And it had nothing to do with the fact that I could get
revenge on her and avenge my family. The fact was, I didn’t want to hurt her. I
took a quick glance at Maddie and watched as her hair blew in the wind coming
through her window. Her eyes were alert and happy, and she gave me a quick
smile as she noticed my stare. I turned away quickly, as my stomach jumped. I
wasn’t sure I would be able to forgive myself if I hurt Maddie on purpose. And
what was worse is that I didn’t know if she would ever forgive me either.

"Do you like
Maroon 5?” She bobbed her head to an unfamiliar song.

“I don’t know
them.” I shook my head.

“You don’t know
Maroon 5? What?” Her eyes darted to me. “What about Adam Levine?”

“Who?” I laughed.

“From
The Voice
!”

“What voice?”

“The TV show.”

“I’m sorry,
Maddie, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Wow,” she
laughed. “Don’t you watch TV?”

“Not really.” I
shook my head. We only had one TV in the house and my father was parked in
front of it twenty-four-seven.

“That’s crazy.”

“Really?” I raised
an eyebrow at her. “Out of everything you know about me, that’s the craziest?”

“I mean, it’s a
surprise. I thought everyone watched TV.”

“Even those who can’t
afford a TV or cable?”

“Oh, I didn’t
think …” Her voice trailed off and she blushed. “I suppose you think I’m just
this privileged girl, huh? I guess I’m not helping my cause.”

“I don’t think
you’re a snob.” I smiled at her gently. “But do you act like someone who comes
from money? Yeah. But that’s not unreasonable, because that was your upbringing,
I’m sure.”

“You’re sweet to
say that,” she sighed, and I could see her twisting her hands. “I suppose I’m
an utter bore to someone like you.”

“You mean the big,
bad wolf of River Valley?”

“No, I mean to
someone who has so much excitement in their life.”

“Excitement?” I
laughed. “I think I have the least amount of excitement of anyone I know.”
Aside from the night I met you,
I
thought to myself with a grin.

“Really? I figured
stealing cars would be like a drug.”

“Not really.” I
turned onto the highway and checked the rearview mirror to make sure no cops were
following me. “Maybe when I first started, yeah, there was a thrill of
excitement, a hint of danger and exhilaration. Now it’s mundane.”

“Mundane, now
there’s a word.” She looked over at me.

“I learned it when
I was studying for the SAT.” I laughed.

“You took the
SAT?” She looked surprised.

“No.” I shook my
head, mad at myself for letting that slip. “I never took it. They made us study
for it in school. I may have glanced at the words once or twice out of
boredom.”

“I see.”

“So you’re
studying history?”

“Yeah.” She rolled
her eyes. “I don’t want to bore you though.”

“You won’t bore
me, I like history.”

“You do?” I could
hear the shock in her voice and I laughed.

“No, not really.”
I accelerated and switched to the left-lane of the highway. “I was more of a
science guy myself.”

“Oh, I sucked at
all the science subjects.”

“I doubt you
sucked at anything.”

“You would be
surprised. My dad had to get me private tutors. It was awful. I was the only
person in my dorm who had two tutors.”

“Dorm?” I looked
at her, puzzled.

“When I was in
boarding school.”

“Oh, yeah. What
was that like?”

“Fun,” she
giggled. “At first it was weird, and I didn’t understand why my parents wanted
to send me away to school. But it was a small school, and there were only like fifteen
of us who were boarders. We went from form to form together and became really
close.”

“I see. That must
have been cool.”

“It was okay, it
was all-girls, so we didn’t really have a chance to get up to anything too
bad.”

“No late night
make-out sessions in the dorms?”

“Well, not
really.” Her voice was squeaky and I saw her turn her face to look out the
window. Something about her tone piqued my interest, and I decided to press the
subject.

“What do you mean,
not really?”

“Well, we didn’t
have real live boys to kiss, but we had posters to practice on.”

“Oh.” I laughed.
“Like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise and stuff?”

“You could say
that.”

“Who were the
actors you guys practiced on?” I asked curiously.

“I never said we
practiced on actors.”

“Oh, I just
assumed. Who then?”

“You’re going to
think I’m a psycho.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to tell you.”

“Now you have to
tell me,” I laughed. “And I already think you’re crazy, so no need to worry
about that.”

“You’re mean.”

“Ha, ha, tell me,
Maddie.”

“Well, I really
don’t want to tell you this, but we used to kiss posters of you. Well, not all
of us, but a few of us did.”

“Posters of me?” I
turned towards her. “What posters?”

“Okay, now I have
to go into
Fatal Attraction
territory,
but one summer I was over at Lucy’s place and we were going through Joey’s
yearbook, and well, there was a photo of you in there.”

“My high school
pic?” I raised an eyebrow.

“No, there was a
photo of you posing on a motorcycle, I guess it was a candid shot, and you had
your shirt off …” Her voice trailed off.

“Oh, when I was in
eleventh grade?” I thought back. “I think I was deciding if I wanted to steal it.”
I laughed. “But then someone took a photo and I knew I couldn’t, as that photo
would definitely serve as incriminating evidence.”

“Well, you looked
super hot,” she continued. “So I borrowed the yearbook and I took it to
Walgreens and got it blown up, and then the girls and I ordered posters.”

“The girls?”

“In my dorm, when
I got back to school.”

“Ah, ok. So I was
your first kiss?” I grinned at her and winked.

“I guess,” she
laughed. “Though the physical honor goes to Matt Devoir.”

“I see.” Jealousy
churned through me at the thought of Maddie kissing another guy.

“He wasn’t as good
a kisser as you, though.” She reached over and touched my arm. “Who was your
first kiss with?”

“Judy Hamilton,” I
answered quickly.

“Judy Hamilton? No
way.” Maddie laughed.

“Yup.” I grinned
over at her. “She was experienced and I was eager.”

“Isn’t she like five
years older than you?”

“Something like
that.” I laughed. “What can I say, I like older women.”

“I guess that’s
why you don’t like me, then.” She sat back in her seat with a wistful tone, and
I was jerked back to reality. Maddie wasn’t just some regular girl, and we
weren’t on some regular ride. If I took one wrong turn, this whole thing could
explode on me.

“Hey, this is our
exit.” I quickly pulled back over to the exit lane and we sat in silence, as I
navigated the unfamiliar streets. “So how was your first kiss?”

“Which one?”

“With Matt?”

“Oh, it was okay.
Nothing earthshattering. I didn’t tremble with passion or anything.”

“Because you
normally tremble with passion when you kiss?”

“When you kiss
me.” Her voice was sweet and confident and I wanted to shake her for being so
forward. Didn’t she know that girls were meant to play coy? Especially with guys
they didn’t really know.

“I suppose the
poster knew a couple of tricks, huh?”

“No, but you do.”
Her voice was lower this time, and I glanced at her quickly, wondering if she
was trying to seduce me.

“You’re trouble,
Maddie Wright.” I shook my head. “You make me look like a good boy.”

“What fun would a
good Logan
Martelli
be?”

“Behave.” I
laughed and pulled into the Walmart parking lot where the exchange was meant to
take place. I parked and turned to her with a serious expression. “Stay in the
car when the guy comes. I don’t want you getting involved with this.”

“Do you have a
gun?” She looked at me, slightly worried, but there was a glint in her eyes.

“This is not the
movies, Maddie. I have no gun, and I don’t want one either.”

“What happens if
the deal goes wrong?”

“I’ve never had a
deal go that wrong. I’m dealing in Japanese imports, not diamonds from South
Africa.” Though maybe if I was part of something a bit bigger, my family
wouldn’t be so broke.

“Have you ever
thought about getting a real job?”

“No.” I lied to
her, not wanting to get into it with her.

“I could ask my
father if there was anything he could to do help.” She looked at me eagerly.
“Maybe he could get you a job at city hall and ….”

“Enough.” I held
my hand up at her abruptly. “I don’t need your dad’s help.”

“He won’t judge
you.” She looked at me anxiously. “Not if I vouch for you.”

“Would you vouch
for me as the guy who fucked you in his bed a week ago?”

“Of course not.”
She made a face at me. “I would just say you were my friend.”

“Of course, your
friend
. Don’t you think he would want to
know how we met? And would he be cool with us being
friends
?”

“My dad doesn’t
judge people, Logan. I don’t know why you have something against him, but he’s
a good man.”

“Yeah, he’s a good
man.” My voice was harsh.

“I wish you would
talk to me,” she pleaded.

“What do you want
to know, Maddie?” I shouted, frustrated. “Do you really want to know what I
think of your dad? Your
perfect
dad?
Do you want to know why I wish I could watch him getting run over by a semi truck?”
I watched as her face contorted with pain and she shrunk away from me, but I
was too annoyed to stop.

“I fucking hate
his guts.” I hit my fist against the steering wheel. “I am never going like
him. I don’t know why you just can’t leave me alone. What don’t you get?”

“Sorry.” Her eyes
flashed. “I thought you’d want to be friends.”

“Why would I want
to be friends?” I looked at her, agitated. I was starting to feel bad for
shouting at her, and that was making me even more upset. I didn’t want to care
how she felt.

“I thought that we—”

“No, no, you
haven’t been thinking,” I interrupted her. “I get it, you had a schoolgirl
crush on me, but you move on, Maddie. You don’t track me down to seduce me, and
then tell me you want to be friends. I’m not going to change. You’re not going
to discover the other secret part of me. What you see is what you get. Do you
understand that? I’m a car thief. I steal cars for money. I steal cars from
people with kids.” I nodded to the baby seat in the back and ignored the twinge
of guilt in me. I couldn’t afford to feel guilty in this business. “I’m not
misunderstood, I’m not going to get a job in a fucking office, I’m not going to
turn into some man who is going to give you the safe life you’ve grown up in.
Just because I fucked you, it doesn’t mean I want anything with you. Yeah,
you’re hot. And yeah, I had a good time. But that was it. Stop trying to make
this into more than it is. And don’t ask me why I’m mean to you or hate you. I
don’t hate you. I just don’t fucking care.”

I took a deep
breath and turned away from her. This time she didn’t try to shield me from the
tears streaming down her face. She stared at me with wide, hurt eyes, and I was
taken back to my childhood when I had told my mother I hated her. The pain that
coursed through me right now was the same pain that had coursed through me
then. I had been about twelve years old, and my dad had been on his way to
steal a car and I was going to accompany him. My mother had been upset that he
was using me as his lookout, and she had pulled me aside and told me that I
couldn’t go. My father had been slightly drunk and had shouted at her. She
stood her ground against him and had whispered that she couldn’t put up with it
anymore. She told him that she wasn’t going to let him do this to the kids and
that she was going to leave him. I had been incensed at her words and turned on
her and shouted that I hated her and that she didn’t understand. The look she
had given me at that moment had broken my heart in two. The pain mingled with
shock, hurt and disbelief as she stared at me. I could feel how my words had
hurt her. The hurt that coursed through her had flushed through me and I hadn’t
known what to say. The anger and confusion in my own body had stopped me from
apologizing in that moment. I knew that in that moment that my mother realized
that the innocent and loving boy she had raised was gone. And as I stared at
Maddie, in this instant, I knew I had also shattered her image of me. No matter
what she had thought of me before, or what she were to think of me in the
future, she would always be reminded of this conversation in this car.

“He’s here.” She
bit her lip and turned away from me.

“What?” My voice
was softer, and I didn’t understand what she was talking about. I wanted her to
shout back at me, to scream and call me an asshole.

“The guy you’re
selling this car to? I think he’s here.” She squinted and then doubled down in
her seat.

“What are you
doing?”

“I think I know
that guy,” she whispered up at me.

“Really?” I looked
at her in surprise and then at the guy standing in front of the car. He looked
somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t place him. “Stay here,” I hissed at Maddie
again before I stepped out of the car.