Read Cravings (Fierce Hearts) Online
Authors: Lynn Crandall
“Is this the crazy but beautiful blond cat lady of Laurelwood?” Teasing was his solid MO.
“No. You’ve got the wrong number.” She never considered herself less than sane and loving cats did not make her so. She giggled. “Am I speaking to the crazy lawyer turned PI of Laurelwood?”
“Oh, that hurt. Seriously, do you have a minute? I’d like to drop by your office and deliver a small donation from my parents. Something to help keep your kitty rescue going another month. I also have a delivery of cat food.”
“Lovely. When do you expect to be here? I can meet you outside.”
She’d met Casey four months ago at a picnic at Lacey and Jackson’s house. Their paths crossed now and then because of the close relationship between the sisters’ husbands and Casey. Michelle appreciated Casey’s friendship, but when they’d dated briefly she’d gotten scared and told him her life was too busy to have a serious relationship. He’d been gracious, but something was always there, unspoken, between them. Though he was fun to be around, he remained a bit aloof. Which worked for her, because she needed space with nearly everyone, a buffer zone, since her rape. Boundaries surrounded her that helped her feel in control. Though it made her sad that she couldn’t enjoy closeness.
Another possibility taken from me by the man on the university quad.
But seeing Casey always managed to elevate her mood
.
Waiting for news about Madeline, getting bad news about my new home … I could use a lift.
They made arrangements to meet in the parking lot across the street from the office so Casey could load the cat food into her cherry red Jeep.
“I’m going out for a minute. I’ll be right back,” she called to the sisters.
Lacey ambled out. “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Go finish moving, take care of Madeline, and look into this stupid letter you just got.” She ran her fingers through her copper waves and looked stern, for Lacey. “We can manage without you and you need to take care of things.”
Resting her chin on her hands, Michelle thought for a moment. It wasn’t like she couldn’t handle these pressing things, she was a big girl. Still, it would ease her concentration to address them sooner rather than later. “Hmm … I guess you’re right.” She grabbed her fall jacket from the back of her chair and shrugged it on as she headed out. “Thank you.”
Outside, she buttoned up her coat and waited for Casey. The fall air felt crisp and clear as she breathed it in. It sharpened her thoughts.
Alone with her buzzing brain, Michelle let the possibilities of problems with her new home expand. How could anything be wrong? She’d done all the right things. It had to be a mistake. It dampened her excitement for getting settled in. The home held so many good memories of growing up and being a family—Michelle had lived there into her teens before her parents sold the house and moved into a bigger one across town. The thoughts of losing it churned inside her gut like a bad cheeseburger from a fast-food place. The home would be her haven, her safe place, a place where she could keep out the fears that had invaded her life that fateful night.
She shuddered, letting the various versions of emotions floating by from passing people pass through her. As a highly sensitive person, or HSP according to the experts on the subject, she was still learning not to let emotions of others swamp her. She could feel the anger, just know it wasn’t hers to act out, her counselor told her. Funny how much the chaos of emotions floating around felt like hers. She didn’t mind being abnormal, with her premonitions and high sensitivity, but it did bog her down at times.
It was one of those times, months ago, when she and Casey sat in a booth together at a fast-food restaurant and the wailing of a small boy about his food sent Michelle into a sobbing ball, that she’d told him her secret, her premonitions and sensitivities, known only by those close to her. When she’d shared it with Casey, he’d never blinked. He simply questioned about her experiences in great detail, trying to understand. His interest had warmed her heart and it had felt good to be forthright about her strangeness. A smile lifted her lips as she remembered his teasing about having to wear aluminum foil on his head around her.
“Hey, gorgeous!”
Michelle jumped, stiffened at the hand on her shoulder. It was Casey.
“Whoa there. Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” His eyes narrowed, searching her face. “Deep thoughts?”
“I didn’t hear you coming.” Her private thoughts were just that, private. She shot him a smile. Heck how could she not? His face, a beautiful shade of brown framed by dark, short dreads, practically glowed with personality. “You’re stealthy.”
His eyes shuttered for a just a moment. “You’re just distracted.”
Though she felt his typical distance, kindness emanated from him. For a moment she allowed feelings for him to emerge, cautiously. “Well, hey, you know me. I get distracted easily.” It felt good to smile up at him and be met with a wink. His golden brown eyes glinted back at her. She imagined how nice it would be to have that in her daily life. She naturally relaxed around him. Though she’d always sensed his reservations about sharing his private life. He was hiding something, but she never pushed him to explain and she’d never shared her dark secret about the rape.
He gave her a look, then slid a muscled arm around her shoulder and tweaked a lock of her long blond hair. “I do know you. Now, shall we load this cat food into your Jeep so you can get back to work?”
“I’m not going back to work, but yes, let’s get it done so we can both get out of the cold. Be sure and thank your parents for me. You do have parents, right? Weird I’ve never met them.”
Casey smirked. “Of course I have parents. My mom’s a teacher and my dad’s a dentist.”
She nodded, noting the lilt of love and pride emanating from him. “So you have a good relationship with them.”
“Yeah, they’re all right.” Suddenly his brow knitted. “Wait, it’s only ten o’clock. Why aren’t you going back to work?”
Michelle dropped her gaze and rubbed her toe against a crack in the sidewalk. Talking to Casey would relieve her anxiety, she knew from experience. But it wasn’t his concern.
He lifted her chin to face his gaze. “C’mon. I won’t tell Sterling and Lacey you want to play hooky.”
“They gave me the day off.” The touch of his hand made her skin warm. “I’ve got several things going on today, so they suggested I tie up ends.”
Another smile unleashed. “Oh. I thought you might spend the day with me.” He rolled his shoulders, nervously, then slanted a smile her way. “Get you more settled in at your new house. Spend some time together.”
Her heart clenched. His interest in her was subtle but she felt it. It had popped up before and she’d ignored it. Ignoring was getting harder. But she just wasn’t ready for more than friendship. Not yet. “Casey, I’m sorry. I can’t.”
He bunched his hair in both hands and slanted a somber gaze at her. “What are we talking about here? We’re friends, Michelle. Can’t we spend time together?” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I know you have your reasons for needing space.”
“And so do you,” she whispered.
Casey flinched, as though she’d just sucker punched him. Conflicted feelings rose in him, unsettling her insides. They stood across from each other as seconds ticked by, traffic noise filling the space between them. Then, silently, he lugged several large bags of cat food to her Jeep while she watched, mesmerized by his sleek physique as much as his ability to dampen down his emotions to a place of indifference.
Check in hand and a thank you given, Michelle drove away from him as he stood beside his blue Prius. A last look in her rearview mirror caught him coaxing a brown tabby, a city stray, from behind his car and cautiously offering a bit of kibble.
• • •
“Here, little kitty. I know you’re hungry. Here’s some good stuff.” Casey knelt and dropped a bit of cat food on the ground in front of him. The short-haired tabby shot him a saucer-eyed look and retreated.
“It’s okay. You can have the food. No strings attached. How about I call you Brownie? It fits.” He stood motionless, knowing the timid cat needed and wanted the food. Lucky for Brownie, he had a way with cats. Suddenly, the cat lunged and grabbed the food in her mouth, then withdrew a few feet to chomp it up. “You’ve made my day, Brownie. Thanks for being so brave.”
When he stood the cat ran out of sight. That was to be expected. A stray in the city lived a hard life. Often city strays were kicked around in their endless search for food. He didn’t blame them for being wary. It was the safe thing to do.
It was the smart thing to do. He smiled to himself, conscious of the stirring inside him of another part of him. His were-lynx self. Humans believed themselves to be the most self-aware, intelligent species on the planet, but it just wasn’t so. Animals were intuitive and resourceful. Heck, were-lynxes had successfully kept their existence secret from humans for centuries. And they peacefully coexisted in colonies among humans. His colony, of which he had recently been made leader of, consisted of seven other young lynxes. There were more colonies, but they didn’t interact. Each colony was unique and reflected the personalities and special abilities of its members.
On his way back to Carter, Inc., his best friend Jackson Carter’s investigations business, Casey let out thoughts of Michelle.
If only I could have a way with her like I did with Brownie. Get her to trust me.
The way Michelle had looked up into his face with those deep sapphire-blue eyes made his gut clench. Michelle was a strong woman who went after what she wanted and tackled whatever had to be done. But her gleaming golden hair gave her an ethereal sense and there also was a delicate vulnerability to her that he respected. Her heart was tender and loving, and she was full of life. But she carried a dark fear that kept her distant.
Their friendship blossomed easily when they’d first met and he now struggled with a growing desire for closeness with her. Despite his need for privacy and to keep humans at a distance, she’d gotten to him in a way he’d really taken to. She fascinated him. And he’d begun to invite her to get closer.
Apparently keeping her distance was too important to her. Whatever drove her away, it had to be a powerful darkness, because it never left her. The days they’d spent hiking she’d let down her guard. When the darkness in her lifted the real Michelle came out—exuberant and confident. Then the shield would slip back into place.
The irony of her distance made him cringe. He had his secrets, clearly. And not just the really big one of his animal self. Like many young new lynxes, he’d used his inherent skills for his own benefits. He hadn’t cared about consequences. He’d stolen from the rich some very nice things, but he’d gotten caught. He’d done his probation and wised up. Thanks to his father’s guidance and Jackson’s friendship, his brief stint as a cat burglar was behind him, never to surface again. He’d earned his law degree and worked as a specialist in medical matters. Then Jackson had convinced him to get his investigator’s license and work for him. He worked among humans and socialized with humans and the members of his colony. And no human, not even Jackson, knew of his secret identity. Despite his respect for the need for secrecy, it was becoming more and more of a burden. As he’d watched Jackson struggle with his father’s deceit and destructive ways, Casey’s values adjusted. Needling razors cut at his life-long beliefs, demanding he make a choice. Be himself or a shadow of himself. He wanted to be himself, nothing holding back, among trustworthy humans.
With his baggage to deal with, he’d wondered at Michelle’s. The evenings they’d spent together at her apartment she’d been tense. He’d never pushed for intimacy. The memory of kissing her luscious lips sent him tripping, but they’d never gone further than that one kiss.
But he still cared and though she didn’t know, he did what he could to keep her safe. Whenever possible, he was never far from her, just out of sight. Whatever the darkness was, he wanted to be near if it threatened her again.
He parked and took swift steps to his office, and jumped into his work for the day. As a lawyer with a specialty in medical cases, Casey’s workload was constant. This morning his inbox contained more than two hundred emails, but one in particular headed “medical device” from a client he’d helped secure a patent for grabbed his attention. He read through the email, his gut knotting, then printed the email and accompanying attachment.
“Is Jackson available?” he asked the secretary outside Jackson’s office. The young woman was a pretty blond, but after the last secretary had conspired with her boyfriend to ruin Jackson’s business, a thorough background check for the current secretary had been completed. Jackson had learned that education and a pretty face wasn’t enough in a secretary.
“Yes, Casey.” She twinkled an engaging smile at him. “I’ll let him know you’re here.”
“No, I’ll just go on in. Thanks, Julie.”
A knock on Jackson’s office door and Casey poked his head in. “Got a few minutes, boss?”
“Sure, come take a seat.” Jackson sat back in his chair behind his desk and waited for him. “I’m actually just going over the guest list for the reception for Lacey and me.”
Casey rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t talk you two out of a tiny wedding at the courthouse, so I’m happy you’re planning something big to celebrate with all your friends and family. You sure are taking your sweet time to have the reception. Can’t wait for the party to begin. But meantime, there is work to take care of.”
“Wow, that was quite the segue, guy. What’s up?”
“This is up.” Casey laid the email and the document that accompanied it in front of Jackson. “It seems the data device we helped Pretid, the developer, trademark is creating some issues.”
“I see that.” Jackson scoured the complaint report Pretid had shared with Casey. “The company’s devices for clinical trials are selling well, but doctors are reporting patients with health problems relating to use of the data collected.”
“Right. A patient in a clinical trial for an insulin pump went into insulin shock.”