Cravings (Fierce Hearts) (21 page)

“Amen,” Michelle added.

The sound of Asher’s cycle driving up captured Kennedy’s attention. A spontaneous smile broke out across her face.

“Oh.” Michelle’s eyes crinkled. “You’re enjoying your friendship with Asher, I see.”

Seconds later, Asher knocked on the front door, but didn’t wait for Michelle to open it. “Michelle? Kennedy?” he called as he walked down the hall and into the family room. He tossed his jacket to the floor and knelt beside Kennedy. “Casey told me you’d be here. He said your leg is broken.”

A sigh drifted through her body at Asher’s touch. “Yes. Jonathon cracked my right tibia. Booker realigned it and gave me this special wrap. He said it would take a few days to mend, so I’m supposed to elevate it as much as possible to keep the swelling down.”

Asher grinned his lopsided grin. “Guess I’ll have to carry you anywhere you want to go.” He surveyed her up and down, then landed a serious expression on her face. “I’m sorry this happened to you.” He took her hand in his and pressed a delicate kiss to her skin.

“I’m fine. And I can walk, you nutcase.”

Michelle stood and headed out of the room, dragging Conrad with her. “Well, you guys probably would like some alone time. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

Asher slipped onto the couch beside Kennedy and nuzzled her neck. His scent wafted around her, embracing her in a familiar sense of peace. “Thank you for being there for me earlier during that whole big scene.” Her voice caught in her throat, thinking of the morning’s violence at Sage’s office.

Asher rested his head against hers. “I could have lost you,” he murmured. “I don’t want to ever leave your side.”

She grabbed his face, his engaging, adorable face, and stared into his eyes. Angst shone back at her. She suspected it mirrored her own. “I have tasted your love, have been awakened by your veracity. I cannot go back and I don’t want to be without you.”

Knowledge of the rawness of life, the preciousness of life, throbbed through her. And she knew Asher stood there with her on the edge of life, knowing, too, of its sacredness. The morning’s events had severed any connection to her past life and brought her up close to an acute awareness of what it means to be living. Theirs was a deep and meaningful connection. It didn’t mean they were in love and would always be so. It was deeper than that. No matter what happened, they would always be attached.

For lingering moments, she sensed the connection they sat in together, like a warm bath. She gained strength from sitting with him, exchanging glances and smiles.

Out in the kitchen, Michelle cooked up delicious smells that permeated the house. “I hope you’re in the mood for lasagna.”

Footsteps coming through the front door and stomping off snow clued Kennedy that more of the colony cats were coming in.

“I sure am,” called Casey. “I’m starved.”

“Make that two of us who are starved.” Conrad’s steps came closer.

“Make that three of us.” Tizzy pounced into the room. “How are you doing, Kennedy?”

Kennedy sat observing the were-cats engaging in conversation, soaking in the feeling of camaraderie. They interacted so effortlessly. Something she’d craved so long, she’d believed it would never happen for her.

Casey slipped into a chair in the family room and raised his hand for attention. The conversations stopped, as all eyes turned to Casey.

“It’s been an eventful few weeks. Thank you to each of you who fought well against the were-cat warriors at the Phoenix Biosciences lab. Some arrests were made, but, according to Ben, once again TNG escaped the authorities. The building was vacated when the police arrived.”

Casey turned his attention to Kennedy. “Kennedy’s last interactions with Jonathon and Kathryn Novak went down pretty hard. It’s a difficult thing when your parents are vicious killers, Kennedy, and we all appreciate what you’ve gone through. For everyone, we need to realize these most recent events that included TNG signify that times have changed and we need to go forward deliberately.”

Kennedy nodded her head. “Thank you. You all mean a lot to me. Kathryn’s death is something I’m trying to process. Jonathon’s arrest, too. I don’t think of them as my parents any longer, but for most of my life they were all I had.”

“Your life just expanded by quite a bit, Kennedy.” Asia smiled at her. “I think you’ll be a real asset to the group, but more than that, I think you are intelligent, spunky, and talented. You’re where you belong, if you want to stay.”

“Thank you, Asia. That is very kind of you.” Kennedy nodded to Asia, but her thoughts were on Asher. It didn’t miss her attention that he remained very quiet. Curiosity spun in her head, and she wondered what shape his thoughts were taking.

Casey pulled in a large breath and let it out. “Last, Kennedy, tomorrow I’m taking you to meet your parents. Our parents. No matter what happens, you have the right to know who your real parents are and how much they love you.” His gaze swept the room.

The room got quiet, the wind gusting outside the only sound.

“Thank you for that, Casey. I am excited to meet them. But honestly, a little scared. They might not like me.”

The room filled with various forms of support. Something she was unaccustomed to. It warmed her heart.

Asher’s voice in her ear overrode all the others. “I like you, sweetheart.”

• • •

Asher’s bedside clock told Kennedy it was five in the morning. Early.

She lay on her side in bed watching Asher sleeping. The blankets lay casually across his midsection, exposing his chest. One of his legs lay free of blankets, exposing his skin.

This closeness to someone she ventured to trust was a new and pleasurable thing.

Her fingers itched to caress his cheek. His effortless sensuality coaxed her to place a hand on his chest as it rose and fell, press kisses to his exposed thigh.

But she refrained and instead rolled away and quietly climbed out of bed.

The flannel pajama top he’d loaned her wrapped her in a cloud of warmth and softness and a knowledge of Asher. She pulled on a pair of her underwear and padded to the kitchen, favoring her injured leg.

Uncertainty and fear of the unknown rattled her brain. Today she’d meet her real parents for the first time. She had no baseline to get herself prepared. Anything could happen.

But that was hours away. Meanwhile, she could shove that looming encounter to the back of her thoughts. She could help Asher.

She grabbed his laptop, set it on the kitchen table, and waited for it to come on. Staring out the kitchen window, she took in the deep blue of the early morning sky. Sunrise wouldn’t light the sky for about two more hours, but by then, Laurelwood would be awake and running.

Her leg resting on a nearby chair, Kennedy began her search.

A quick, generic search for Bradley and Emily Monroe came up with lots of dead ends. Typical listings that led to nowhere. She dug deeper. She knew Asher’s father, Bradley Monroe, worked as a high school science teacher and his mother, Emily, worked as a director of a museum. Not a lot to go on but still, it was not nothing.

When she plugged Emily’s name into the search teamed with Midwest museums, she popped up. It turned out she had recently been recognized for her outreach efforts into the city of Estoria, a midsize town about twenty miles from Laurelwood. The museum, Estoria Museum of History and World Cultures, had a website. Kennedy quickly brought up the museum’s staff directory.

“Bingo.”

Kennedy chewed on her fingers, scanning the brief bio of Emily Monroe. It included her husband’s name, Bradley, and children’s names—Kendall and Finn. No mention of Asher or Lara.

Her listing also included an email address, an office address, and a phone number.

Kennedy grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the counter and scribbled down the information.

Excitement at her success stimulated her mind and sent her thoughts racing. She could find out more about Asher’s family.

The city website offered a list of local amenities and a residents’ guide. Another hit. She learned the name of the local high school and clicked on a link to its website. She clicked on the staff directory—another bingo. Asher’s father was listed. The only contact information provided was an office phone and an email address, but that, too, was not nothing.

One more search in the Estoria White Pages online, and she had a home phone and address.

Something very akin to glee bloomed in her chest. She’d tracked down his family. He had a way to contact them, even to simply drop in on them. There was hope for a reconciliation.

The glee wilted into uncertainty. Maybe she’d overstepped his boundaries. Maybe Asher would feel pushed or invaded. What had she been thinking? This was none of her business.

Except she cared about him. Anything that separated them was her business, wasn’t it?

“Good morning, gorgeous.” Asher brushed her cheek with a kiss, sending her heart skipping. “You’re up early. Couldn’t sleep?”

He yawned wide and slouched into a chair on the other side of her outstretched, injured leg. “Yeah, I had a little trouble sleeping.”

“That’s understandable. Your leg probably hurts, and you’ve got a big day ahead of you.” He surveyed the slips of paper that lay beside her.

Kennedy wriggled in her seat and quickly laid her hand over the papers. She gave him a smile, and he studied her.

“What are you doing? You look ill at ease.” He frowned. She could envision his brain working to figure out what was going on.

“I am a little.” She chewed on her lower lip before she caught herself. “Umm …” she handed him the papers with her search results. “I found your family. But I’m not sure I should’ve done it. I didn’t mean to intrude.” Warmth bloomed up her neck and heated her face.

“Why did you do it?” The tone of his voice was flat. It prevented her from determining what he was feeling. Her nerves tightened her muscles.

She lifted her gaze to the ceiling, seeking a truthful answer. She had to get this right. “When you told me about your family cutting you out, I saw pain in your eyes. I know the pain of family rejection. It bores deep inside and tears apart self-confidence and self-worth. I just thought if I could find your family, you would have a chance to try again for meaningful relationships.” A sob clogged her throat, and she sat there near him, wrestling with her own uncertainty.

He gazed out the kitchen window, his eyes so distant that her automatic withdrawal kicked in. If he were going to detach from her, she’d save herself and beat him to the move.

“I appreciate what you’ve done, Kennedy. I know you’re trying to help me.” His gaze remained pointed outside. “Would it sound very unmanly to admit I’m afraid of dashing all hope of reconnection by hearing them rejecting me again? I know what I did to my brother was harmful. Because I’m a wild card—”

“You judge yourself too harshly,” she interrupted. “You are spontaneous and full of life. There’s a difference.” Everything in her longed to hold him and make the misconceptions in him disappear. But she didn’t dare reach out to him.

He turned back to her, sorrow in his eyes. “You’re so kind to me. But I know what I did. My parents made it clear they didn’t ever want to see me again.”

“Words spoken in reaction. They probably have long ago wished they could take them back.”

The wind gusted outside, tossing snowflakes in swirls. Time stopped, and Kennedy breathed shallow breaths.

Asher rubbed his hand through his tousled hair. “This conversation is too heavy without coffee first.” He grinned halfheartedly at her, and she knew he was trying to dismiss the idea of meeting with his family.

He grabbed the coffee carafe and filled it with water, then scooped ground coffee beans into the coffeemaker. Soon the aroma of coffee brewing wafted to Kennedy’s nose.

“That smells delicious,” she said. “Coffee is good. But it’s not going to get you off the hook. I’m not going to push you to get in contact with your family. I simply made it easy for you to do. The outcome is unknowable. But even if they do reject you once again, you’ll know you tried. You’ll be able to see the truth.”

“The truth? And what would that be, Kennedy? That I’m reckless and my recklessness wreaked havoc on my family?”

“I can’t predict. But you’ll only find it when you’re brave enough to talk about the incident with your family.”

He shoved her head gently. “Since when did you become Buddha?”

“We may be brother and sister, but I still feel awkward sitting here beside you.” Kennedy slanted her head and waited for Casey’s response.

His hands on the wheel of his Prius, Casey chuckled. “Don’t hold back, Kennedy. Tell me how you really feel.”

“If I’m doing things wrong, tell me. My experience with normal conversation and healthy management of my emotions is lacking. I’m direct, typically. But I didn’t mean to offend you.” She’d been taught manners and how to defer to the people around her growing up, but she’d remained direct. She’d had no respect for those people and didn’t care if she’d offended them. It had been her only means of keeping her sanity.

But those were old ways.

“You haven’t offended me. I like that you’re direct. It’s a good trait.” He slipped an easy smile her way, then turned back to the road.

“You know, I didn’t know other were-lynxes existed until my parents sent me off to William Carter’s experiment. It felt good to see you and the other cats, but I was a bit frightened, too. I didn’t know what to expect.”

“And now?” He raised an eyebrow. “What do you think of us now?”

“I’m getting to know everyone better. But if I stick to just you, I’m nervous.”

“I understand. But you are my sister, and I hope we continue to become well acquainted.”

The ride to her parents’ house wouldn’t be long, Casey had told her. As she watched the landscape passing by the window, Kennedy enjoyed seeing the snow-covered hills and bare trees dusted in snow. Nature, in its many variations, would never become old and mundane to her. It didn’t bore her; it energized her.

A few miles outside of the city, Casey turned his Prius up a long, secluded lane. It weaved around tall trees and led to the house.