CRAVING U (The Rook Café) (32 page)

Ambiguous situations... sex in the
bathrooms... hard-core teen photos and videos... prostitution!
  Husband and
wife were overwrought with concern, and more embarrassed than Marika about this
topic, but nothing could be worse than not confronting it.  Pretending that
nothing was happening, putting on blinders so as not to see, is the first step
toward destroying a true relationship.  And so they spoke about it like adults,
reading through the entire dossier together and commenting on how each item
related to the reality at Marika’s school.  They spoke about the enormous
difference between sex and love, about contraception, pornography, abasing your
body for money, sexually-transmitted diseases.  “... a hidden problem that is
difficult to bring to the surface.  A market-driven society that is incapable
of teaching a different way of life to new generations.”  They flipped through
the pages.  “Young people need ideals, dreams, and real emotions, as well as
models for good behavior so as not to lose sight of their inherent self-worth
as human beings made of emotions and insecurities, feelings and fragility.”

With the passing of the hours, even her
mother had begun to feel more relaxed, even though she clearly remained in a
state of emotional shock.  “So what is this
sexter
anyway?” she asked,
placing three mugs of boiling hot chamomile tea on the coffee table.

“You mean sexting?”  Her daughter smiled
for the first time after hours of tension.

“Yeah, whatever you call it.”  Paola still
wasn’t ready for any lightness of tone, her age having kept her light years
away from the technological revolutions that were like bread and butter to a
younger generation.  “You use words that I don’t understand, and you talk about
sex as if it were food.  I’m afraid I’ve totally lost touch with you.”

“Mom, you haven’t lost touch with anything
except a few words that I can easily teach you.  I’m just the same as always. 
I’m just going through a rough patch, but there’s nothing transgressive or
illegal about it.  And I’m really hurt that you were so quick to judge me.  I
deserve more trust from you.”  This reprimand could not be avoided.

“You’re right, but I felt like my world
was falling apart when I thought about my little girl and....”  Her touching
speech was bluntly interrupted.

“I’m not a little girl any more, and
anyway, just because other people are doing it doesn’t mean that I have to.” 
Marika wanted to get the upper hand.  “It’s 100 percent true that many parents
don’t have any kind of relationship with their kids and blah blah blah, but
that’s not our case.  So get over the fact that you don’t understand our way of
talking, stop blubbering like a little girl, and next time, ask me before
making an appointment with a shrink!”

“Fine, I’ll ask you.”  Her mother crossed
her arms.  “Do you make videos of yourself with your cellphone or webcam doing
obscene things?”

“No.”  A simple, calm answer so as not to
throw off the lie detector.

“Do you take pictures of yourself in sexy
poses?”

“No.”  She puffed out her cheeks.

“Do you participate in sex games with your
classmates?”

“Absolutely not!”

“Did you take naked pictures of yourself
for Matteo?”

“What?”  She was caught between the urge
to laugh and the need to cry.  “Are you serious?”  WARNING!  The lie detector’s
software was beginning to register the tremors in her voice.

“Answer the question, please.”  Her
mother, on the other hand, seemed to have rediscovered an admirable amount of
annoying self-control.

“No, no, no.”  Marika squirmed like an
innocent being let to the gallows.  “NO!”

“OK.”  Paola placed her empty mug on the
table as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Are you sexually
active?”

“What?”  She swallowed.  “Hurrah for
honesty!”  Marika now began to have the distinct feeling of embarrassment.  “No,
not yet at least.”

“What is that, a threat?”

“Paola, she’s trying to be honest with
us.  Don’t accuse her of anything.”  Of the three of them, Ferdinando clearly
appeared to be the most rational, even though deep inside he was wracked by a
confusing mixture of frustration, nausea, and jealousy.

“You see how you’re reacting Mom?  This
isn’t a duel between us, there’s no winner and loser.”  Marika lowered her face
in embarrassment before blurting out impetuously, “Yes, it’s true, I would like
to do it with the guy I’m in love with.  But not for money, or as a game, or
because I’m afraid of losing him, but just to intimately share what we have
together.”

Her parents were shocked by her
declaration.  Ferdinando was the first to speak, feeling like it was his
responsibility to confront the issue.  “Making love is an all-consuming
experience, and it brings out such intense emotions that it should never be
done lightly or without being ready to face the consequences.”  He looked in
vain for assistance from his wife.  “I’m not trying to say it isn’t a good
thing.  Actually, it’s because it is a wonderful thing that you shouldn’t just
give it away!  Trust me, a guy who really loves you would never sell you on the
internet or to his friends, nor force you to do something that you don’t want
to do.  He’ll be able to wait and always respect you, even in your intimate
moments.  He’ll be sweet and romantic and think about your needs before his
own.”

His daughter listened to him, her mouth
gaping.  “Yeah right, maybe in the 1800s!”

“The era is irrelevant: a man is always a
man.”  Ferdinando drank his last drop of chamomile.  “What’s more, men today
have learned how to be more understanding and considerate than in the past.” 
Marika saw the extreme effort he was making, trying to speak seriously about an
important subject that was nevertheless psychologically draining for a father
to say to his daughter.

“I love you, Dad.”  She kissed him
affectionately on the cheek, thanking him for his trust, his openness, and his
willingness to speak about anything and everything with her.  “Thank you.”

“One last thing, Marika.”  He held her
back.  “If you notice any strange behavior at school, among your friends, or if
you happen to see any pictures or videos of these things, please tell us about
it, because it might mean that that person needs some help.”

Marika nodded, then said goodnight to her
mother, who had sat in silence through it all.  She started climbing the
stairs.  Then, all of a sudden, she said, “It wasn’t about sex!  Or some game
about trying to steal that bitch’s boyfriend.  I truly love him,” she confessed
before disappearing upstairs.

“Umm... what did she say Paola?” 
Ferdinando was stunned.  “Who is she really in love with?”

“Matteo, who else?”  Her mother stood up
to clear the mugs from the table.

“Since when?”

“Since always,” she said, surprised by his
blindness.

Her father collapsed onto the couch and
put his palm to his forehead.

“That’s right!” she confirmed.  “I thought
it was just the classic crush on a
hottie
, as they sat.  But it looks
like it’s more serious than we thought.”

“And what about him?”  His gaze fell on
the framed Paolo Rossi jersey hanging on the wall.

“I don’t know.”  She exhaled noisily and
cuddled up next to her husband.  “That he cares a lot about her is obvious. 
But if things go the way we all hope for him, he’s going to be in Milan for a
long time... not to mention that Bondi’s daughter is in the middle of it too. 
And so?”  They sat in silence in the half-light while upstairs, Marika had
turned off the lamps and fallen into a deep sleep, unaware of the price she
would pay for the boundless love Matteo felt for her, and for that immortal
moment that they had shared at
The Rook
.

That very evening, he left Vicenza. 
Destination, Milan.  There at the station, there was a large group that had
formed to see him off.  His family, Dario, Coach Esposito, the staff of the
Brenta
Soccer Club
, and all of his closest friends.  He said goodbye to each of
them, one by one, before climbing aboard the half-empty train that would carry
him forward, either to victory or to the end of a dream.

“Blow them away!” was the refrain of his
friends.  “Don’t come back if you aren’t wearing a
white and blue
jersey.”  Even Valerio and Marcello were there, though not without letting slip
a “See you soon,” that revealed their hopes for a speedy, unsuccessful return.

On the train, he sat down next to a guy
who was on leave from the naval academy.  He placed his trolley bag on the
luggage rack above him and ate the sandwich that his mother had prepared.  He
put on his headphones.  Every one of the songs seemed to be speaking directly
to him about nostalgia and homesickness, but his body was pulsing with
adrenaline.  The fresh memories of the train station flashed through his head,
first the faded figure of Lucrezia smiling at everyone as if she were his wife,
then Livia, who was dressed to kill in dangerously high heels and kept
whispering ridiculous double entendres into his ear.

He could never have imagined the chaos he
had created by admitting Lucrezia into his romantic world, a world over which
he no longer had direct control.

The words of his coach stood out
pleasantly in his mind:  “
I knew that this day would come sooner or later. 
You deserve it, my boy.
”  Varicolored utterances of warmth and respect.  “
Show
them what you can do.  It all depends on you
.”

“
What a wicked game
to play, to make me feel this way!  What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream
of you!  What a wicked thing to say you never felt this way!  What a wicked
thing to do, to make me dream of you!
” 
Leaving her behind had been
the most difficult thing to do, and the song playing on the radio,
Wicked Game
, the huge, melancholy
hit by Chris Isaak, dragged him back cruelly to that moment.  “
No, I don’t
wanna fall in love – this world is only gonna break your heart – with you.
” 
It was too painful to think about her; he needed safety and comfort, which he
could only find in his family.  “
Be careful, and remember that you can
always count on us.  We love you so much,
” his mother had said over and
over again in a broken voice that told of muffled cries while she hugged him to
her breast.  Loretta, herself a messy mixture of tears and smiles, ran around
the platform after Daniele, who was bursting with excitement about the idea of
having a brother playing for the
Corsairs
.  “
If they don’t treat you
right, come home.  And make sure you eat enough.
”  His mom still thought of
him as a little boy, and would have liked him to stay that way forever.  His
father wrapped his arms around him, his eyes welling with tears and his voice
hoarse.  “
Work hard and don’t forget to call your mother!  We’re proud of
you
,” he said, spurring him on to do his best.  He put his arm around his
wife to try to protect her from her fears of losing him forever.

“Excuse me.”  The
guy to his right in the blue naval uniform was waiting patiently to get past
him.

Matteo nodded,
rubbing his nose with the back of his hand and making room for the exodus of
passengers toward the dining car that was located in the middle of the train. 
He stretched himself out of his languor and took a walk up and down the aisles,
taking advantage of the general activity to use the toilets in first-class.

When he was less
than thirty minutes from his final destination, he plopped back down into his
seat, diving back into his sea of memories.  “
Give us a call once in a while
,”
Dario had said to him, wrapped up in a confused emotional state: proud of his
best friend, but saddened by a feeling of being left behind.  “
By the way,
Carlotta says goodbye
,” he said, referring obliquely to the pact they had
sealed at
The Rook
the day before, and which Matteo had reconfirmed only
minutes before the train rolled into the station.  “
She didn’t come out of
female solidarity, though I really thought that Marika would end up coming to
see you off
.”

Matteo smiled
bitterly, his eyes watching the landscape speed by, thinking about his reply
and what it meant: “
Why should she?  Not after yesterday
.”  He
remembered hearing the conductor’s whistle that announced the imminent closing
of the doors and clapping his hand energetically into Dario’s.  “
I was the
one who pushed her away.  Even I wouldn’t have come to see me off after what I
did
.”

His memories
ended with the closing of those train doors and with the sound of Dario’s
cellphone ringing.  He wasn’t given the chance to know what happened next.

“Hi Carlotta.” – “
Hey,
I just left Marika’s house, and you won’t believe what happened at school today
Dario.  Let me talk to Matteo!
” – “Hello?  Hello?  Carlotta?   The signal
is lousy, I can’t really hear you.” – “
Let me talk to Matteo, now
!” she
screeched like an eagle. – “He just left.  What’s the matter?” – “
Someone
plastered the school with graffiti saying ‘Marika Vendramini Cam Girl’, that’s the
problem!  And her parents totally lost it, her mom even wants to take her to a
shrink... can you believe it?  Someone’s been spreading rumors about her and
Matteo
.” – “That sucks!” – “
He’s got to tell them what really happened. 
He’s got to tell them that it’s all a load of crap, and that the only slut
around here is that whore of his girlfriend
.”  She was livid.  “
He can’t
just let this happen.  He’s got to help her
!”  – “Calm down, Carlotta!  I
can’t do anything about it.  Matteo just left for Milan, I can’t call him and
lay this on him right now.  Anyway, it’ll all blow over by Monday.” – “
Get
real, Dario!  This story isn’t going anywhere anytime soon
.”