CRAVING U (The Rook Café) (28 page)

The embrace
lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.  “It would be better
if I left now.”  Marika was the first to pull away, secretly wiping her eyes so
as not to reveal any more than she already had.

“Wait.”  He
blocked her.  “Why do you want to leave?”

“Someone might
misinterpret things.”  She cast a quick glance at the people who were watching
them.

“I don’t think it’s
possible to misinterpret us
....
”

“
Come on, say
it!  Say it, I’m begging you!  Here, now!”
  Marika looked at him, blinking
her eyelids trying to keep the tears away, and waited for other words that
never came.  “
Say it!  Say that everything they suspect is exactly what
there is between the two of us!
”  But there was only silence, so she
finished his sentence by herself: 
It’s impossible to misinterpret us,
because there’s nothing between us to misinterpret
.  “Fine!”  She jerked
away from him.  “You’re right, as usual.”

Her sarcasm hit
him like a load of bricks.  “Did I say something wrong?”

“Nah!”  Her voice
was pained.  “How can you be wrong if you never take a chance?”  She was
feeding off his venom.  “I must be nuts to still believe in something that
doesn’t exist.”

Matteo watched
her, his face scarred by an unforgivable sin, the answer hidden in his eyes.

“I hope you find
what you’re looking for.”  It was finally over.  She had let him go.  Let the
credits roll.  “Bye Matt.”  She turned toward the parking lot.

Matteo’s muscles
contracted as he stood there, his rigid arms glued to his sides, while Federico
smiled to see her walking back toward him.

Without looking back a single time, Marika
got into the car and disappeared from sight.

“Don’t do that...
please?”  Federico was begging her, trying to keep one eye on the road.  “It
hurts me to see you this way.”

Curled up into
the gray fabric front seat of the Fiesta, Marika couldn’t stop sobbing.  “I
know, I’m sorry.  It’s not fair for you to have to see me like this,” she
moaned, blowing her nose.  “You don’t even like him.”

“That’s true.” 
He delicately stroked her frozen fingers.  “But I like you a lot.”

“Take me home.” 
She felt completely out of place and had almost run out of tissues.  “It’s the
best thing for everyone.”

“Not a chance.  I’m
not taking you home in this condition.”  He pointed the car toward the hills of
Lonigo.

Meanwhile at
The
Rook
, one of the wildest parties ever held in those parts was showing no
signs of slowing down.  Everyone was having so much fun that they had even
forgotten the reason they were there.

Matteo alone was
in pain.  “
I don’t want to leave before having a chance to tell her
everything
.”  He pushed his way through the throngs until he found Dario
and Carlotta, sitting together.  “I can’t go to Milan like this.”  It was the
only thing that really mattered to him, and he needed them to know it.

“It’s too late,”
Carlotta said, wanting to hurt him.

“Stop that,”
Dario intervened.  “Marika’s not the only one suffering here.”  He looked at
their friend standing in front of them and said, “How can I be of help?”

“Carlotta, please
....
”  He could
neither lie nor bluff any more.  “Tell me where she is.”

“I don’t have the
slightest clue,” she said truthfully.  “She may already be at home.”

“Then at least
tell me where they usually go together,” he pleaded.

“To the
Rocca Pisana
, up
in the hills.”

“OK, thanks.”  He
took his car keys from his pocket and rushed off before Lucrezia could get in
his way.  “I owe you one.”  He made it to the villa in record time, leaving his
car where it rolled to a stop next to the dirt path that led up to the crest of
a hill.  He called out her name, but there was no reply.  He found her, sitting
on the grass with her arms hugged around her knees, exactly where Carlotta had
said she would be.  She was gazing into nothingness, and Federico was curled
around her back, lovingly stroking her long hair, soaked through with sweat.  “Can
we talk?”

Without moving,
they both turned their eyes on him.

“Please,” he
begged.

Whatever answer
Marika had in her head, it was preempted by Federico, who leapt to his feet and
cut off Matteo’s path toward her.  “Sounds like a bad idea to me.”  He gave a
hand to Marika to help lift her from the ground.  “Come on, I’ll take you back
to Orgiano.”

Matteo kept
advancing, unconcerned about the human shield he found in his way.  “Don’t
worry, I’ll take her.”  He jerked his head to the side, warning Federico to
step aside.

“Don’t try to
push me around.”  Federico’s words came from between clenched teeth, holding
Marika behind him without moving a single inch.

“And you don’t
get involved in things that don’t concern you.”

“Who says that
they don’t concern me?”

The situation was
quickly heading from bad to worse.  The two of them got closer and closer, and
there was a dangerous edginess in their voices.  “Hey!” a voice screamed out,
cutting through the tension.  “Cut it out, right now!”  Marika was looking at
them in disgust.  She placed herself between their two bodies.  “You’re so busy
showing off that you haven’t even considered what I might want.  Because, if I’m
not mistaken, this is all about me,” she added, looking fiercely from one to
the other.  “And I’m old enough to think for myself.”

“You’re right, I’m
sorry.”  The sweet musician was the first to take a step back and acknowledge
his poor behavior.  “Tell me what you want me to do.”

Matteo snorted at
this display of submissiveness.

“Don’t be such an
idiot!” Marika snapped.  “You could learn a lot from him.”  She turned to
Federico, who was enjoying the compliment.  “He’s just a friend, and there’s
nothing wrong with me going home with him now.”

“Right.”  His
head drooped.  “But a real friend shouldn’t make you suffer.”

Matteo had to
hold back his passionate and hot-blooded nature so as not to react to those
words.  But there was no point in arguing now.  Marika had chosen to go with
him, and that was enough.  He let them walk back to the car with Federico’s arm
around her shoulder and watched as they affectionately said goodbye.

He heard the car
start and a voice call out above the noise of the engine.  “I’ll call you
tomorrow.”  Then an additional sentence, even louder: “Have a good trip,
Zovigo!”  The car drove off.

Now that they
were alone, Matteo relaxed his muscles and let a warm, dazzling smile light up
his face.  “Come with me!”  He led her to his car like a happy child.

Though she didn’t
understand why, she knew she would follow him anywhere.  “Where are we going?”

He opened the
door for her.  “You’ll see.”  His eyes were the pure essence of beauty.  “I’m
taking you to a place I promised you long ago.”

4 CASTLE ROAD

The rest of the
world didn’t exist.  Feeling warm and coddled next to him, just like so many
times before, Marika breathed in his powerful scent inside the car: she felt
protected, safe, and wildly beloved.  Her desire to touch him, to kiss him, to
thrust her hands into his hair was so strong that she could not ignore it, like
a fluorescent billboard.

The roads were lit up by traffic as the
last rays of sun filtered through the swollen buds of cherries whose scarlet
color contrasted with the purple-gray branches of the trees.

Soothed by the zen rhythms of Oriental piano
sounds coming through the radio, Marika decided not to mar this moment with
useless questions; after all, their destination mattered little.  That is, it
mattered little until they came upon the first road sign pointing the way to
Montecchio Maggiore, replete with a drawing of the castles that inspired that
tragic love story, and where ancient love affairs flashed into the present,
bursting forth in her mind.

A controversial story, claimed equally by
Verona and Vicenza, has that Romeo and Juliet, the noble lovers, lived here in
two castles facing each other at the heights of the hills: the Castello della
Villa of the Montagues, and the Castello della Bellaguardia of the Capulets. 
In the 1500s, Luigi Da Porto of Vicenza took up the stories and legends and
turned them into a novel – the same which would later inspire William
Shakespeare – about these two rich and influential noble families that were
divided by an ancient hatred.  They had been given the task of maintaining the
two fortresses of Montecchio by the Lord of Verona in hopes that they would
unite in their common mission of defending the countryside.  It was, in fact,
at the castle of Lord Capulet that the first, passionate meeting between Juliet
and Romeo took place: the beginning of the star-crossed affair between the two
young lovers who would challenge the rules of their world and which would have
its tragic end in Verona, where the Capulets kept their residential palace.

First they drove past Romeo’s castle to
the south, and then the road rose toward Juliet’s, the lands around them
telling the tale of that pure, unadulterated love suffocated by intrigues of
power and wealth in the adult world.

From the parking lot, they looked up at
the majestic shape of Juliet’s Castle, a fortress complex built with roughly
hewn stone walls and a central keep made of brick.  Even the address was
dreamy: 4 Castle Road.

They walked along the massive walls until
they came to the entrance: a large archway, itself defended by more modern
bars.  The sun had fallen below the imaginary horizon of the earth, and dusk
rendered the situation even more unreal.

Take one medieval fortress and a sunset
view of Romeo’s Castle, add a romantic atmosphere and your love so near to you,
and you’ll find yourself in Marika’s world!

“Not bad, eh?” Matteo said, fishing for a
compliment as he waved his hand toward the scene.

No words could have described the pleasant
confusion that left her breathless, but her expression of pure emotion and
wonder spoke louder than words.

“Come with me!”  He led her up a stone
staircase to the upper terrace of the castle, which opened up like a time
warp.  “It’s practically deserted now, but in the summer, this is all turned
into an outdoor club,” he said excitedly.  “Lounge music, drinks, and a
laid-back atmosphere.”

Montecchio was less than fifteen miles
from Orgiano, and both of them had been there before on field trips, but never
in the presence of love.

“Have you been here?” Marika asked
nervously, afraid of the reply.  “To the club, I mean.”

“No.”  He snickered.  “Google.”

“You google?  Since when?”  She smiled and
punched him solidly on the shoulder.

“Ow!”  He was making fun of her.  “That
really hurt!”

“Yeah, sure.”  Marika walked toward the
parapet, hoping that tomorrow would never come.  “The real world feels a
million miles away from here,” she sighed, enjoying the breeze on her face.  “It’s
amazing.”   Leaning over that empty space, Marika imagined their own lives,
leaning past the barriers of the everyday, in a place where past, present, and
future met and became one.

“Even if I’m leaving tomorrow, I’ll always
be there for you,” he promised, his eyes fixed on the line between earth and
sky.  “I know that a lot of things are going to change, and that we won’t see
each other very often, and that I have to fight against your prejudices when I
tell you that I’m going to miss every twig of this place and....”  Out of the
corner of his eye, he saw tears begin to run down her cheeks.  “Please don’t
cry.”  He couldn’t look at her.  “You at least owe me that.  It’s already the
second time that I beg you for something today.”

“I’m not crying,” she sniffed, keeping her
face turned from his diamond eyes, so bright and clear in this moment as to
make him even more gorgeous than he already was.  “Have you already said
goodbye to Lucrezia?” she asked, with no bitterness.  It was not the time for
that.  “It won’t be easy.”

“Are you kidding?”  Matteo gave her a
sarcastic smile.  “You can’t be serious.”  He said nothing more on the
subject.  The time for chit-chat was finished; he knew that and didn’t hold
back  as he pulled her close to him in a passionate embrace, taking her right
hand and pressing it against his chest so she could feel his heart pounding. 
He held her so tight that she could scarcely breathe.

Marika burst into desperate sobs, muffled
against his chest, and her hot, salty tears formed a damp spot on the navy blue
polo shirt clinging to his muscles, so sleek and solid, so exciting.

Hearing her sobs, Matteo had to fight
against the intense desire boiling inside him to touch her, to promise her a
million things that he knew were true but which would only made their lives
irremediably complicated.  The terror of losing her for a misstep, even an
innocent one, was stronger than any physical desire, no matter how tempting. 
And so he relaxed his embrace, gently drying her cheeks.

“They’ll see what you’re worth in Milan.” 
Marika pulled away from him; feeling the heat of his body against her skin was
like spraying alcohol on an open wound.   “I’m certain of it.”  Her support was
genuine, as much as it made her suffer.

His own uncertainty was obvious, and was
weighing him down, making him a slave to fears and doubts.  “I’ll only be gone
for two months.”

“I doubt it.”  She raised her shining
irises to the sky.  “But I’m happy for you,” she sighed, exhausted.  “Even
though it took me a while to get used to the idea.”

Matteo took a deep breath and let his head
drop: Marika’s honesty and true affection was a low blow that tore out his
heart.  “Your hands are cold,” he whispered, taking them delicately in his
own.  Evening had arrived, and the temperature had fallen rapidly in absence of
the sun.  “So... friends?” he sighed.

“Absolutely.”  She let him rub her hands.

“Just friends?”

Marika let her imagination run wild until
she caught a glimpse of herself reflected in his eyes.  “Right.”

“Because you’re in love with another guy?” 
His eyes quickly turned toward the dark horizon.

“No.  Because I’m in love with you,” she
confessed without hesitation.

Her lungs stopped working and the entire
world seemed to freeze at the sound of those words.  Matteo stared at her,
rendered motionless by the electric shock that he had felt, and disarmed by the
honesty that he himself had wrested from her, aided by the uncontaminated
beauty surrounding them.

Then the spell was broken, sucked back
down to reality by the present.  “I didn’t say that in order to get something
in return.”

“Hold on.”  He neared her, smiling and
confused.  “Give me time to....”

Marika placed the palm of her quivering
hand over his open lips, thrilled by the sensual pleasure that she felt beneath
her fingers.  “Don’t say a word.”  In the fullness of her beauty, she observed
him, her eyes darkened by her eye-shadow.  “I don’t want to know anything
else.   What I already know is enough.”  She rubbed her hands against her arms,
trying to warm them.  “Whatever you are about to say is just going to make
everything more difficult anyway.”  If it turned out that he didn’t feel the
same way about her, then their friendship would be over, lost in the
embarrassment of her declaration.  If, instead, he felt the same way, he would
be the one to pay the price for rash adolescent love.  “I know you would never
do anything to hurt me deliberately, and the same goes for me, so I don’t want
to force you to do or say anything that you don’t truly feel.  You would end up
blaming me for it... and maybe I would too.”

 He was ready to contradict her before
that
“maybe I would too
” stopped him cold.

“It’s better this way.”  She chewed
nervously on her lower lip as she saw sadness creep into his expression.  She
had had more than two months to evaluate every possible alternative, and the
only conclusion she had come to was that she could not hold him back.

Matteo nodded his head.  “So there’s
nothing more I can say?”

“You know it’s for the best.”  She leaned
out over the parapet again.

“Then why did you tell me?”  He was next
to her, leaning on the railing but avoiding her eyes.

“I don’t know.”  She inched away from him
in an effort to clear her mind.  “Maybe because there won’t be another chance
to do it.  You’re leaving tomorrow and we will have to cope with this reality...
or maybe, just maybe, because deep down you have always known it to be true.”

The young man brushed his fingers across
his forehead, hiding his limpid eyes, then turned and stared into hers, burning
with passion.  “I’ll always be there for you.”  It was the truth.  “Any time
you need me, I’ll be there.”

“I know.”  Marika placed an intense kiss
on his cheek, then turned and walked back towards the staircase.

“I hope I can come back for the
end-of-the-year performances.”  Weaving down the steps, his calm turned into a
sort of nervous energy about his imminent departure.  “It would be the first
time I missed them.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she murmured.

“I’d hate to not be there.”  He wanted to
take her by the hand, such a simple gesture, but her choice had made it
impossible.

“It’s no big deal,” she chirped, hiding
her disappointment.  “Mr. Maller gave me my part in our production of
Fame
:
I’m going to be Nicole Chapman, singer, dancer, and actress; I’m desperately in
love with Jesse Velasquez, a Mexican dancer.”  She paused.  “Or maybe it should
be Jessica Velasquez, seeing as how Roberta is playing the part.”  She giggled.

“One of the lead roles!”  He bowed.  “I’m
impressed.”  They exited through the ancient door, pausing below the balcony
made of wooden beams that jut out from the stone walls.  “Do you feel like
going to get something to eat?”

Marika hesitated.  “I’d love to, but I’m
supposed to give Carlotta a call....”  Her unease wasn’t caused by a
declaration of love that had not been reciprocated, but by the fear that
everything might end in a handshake and a pat on the back, a demonstration of
fraternal indifference toward her admission.

“Why do I all of a sudden feel like you
are lying to me?”  Matteo didn’t understand why she was acting like this,
suddenly all cold and distant; it didn’t make any sense, especially since he
felt exactly the same way she did, even if he hadn’t told her yet.

“I’m not!”  Marika walked up and down the
length of the castle walls, keeping one step ahead of him.  “Are you kidding?” 
Of course she was lying to him.  But the other option was to listen to more
banalities and awkward phrases in the car or at dinner after what she had
confessed to him.   Why torture herself further?  She might as well just get
used to the idea of being without him as quickly as possible.

“OK, I’ll give you a ride home,” he said,
accepting her decision even though he had hoped to make time stop and keep this
moment from coming.  “You don’t need to have Carlotta come all the way up here.”

“She’s happy to do it,” Marika said,
sending a rapid fire text message off to her cousin.  “Let’s be done with it.”

“I don’t get you.”  Matteo reached out and
held her still.

“There’s nothing to get.”  Her cellphone
beeped its answer.  “They’ll be here in a minute.”

“Fine, have it your way!  I’ll wait until
they get here.”

“No!”  Marika growled.  “I don’t want it
to end in front of them.”

“What do you mean?”  He swung his arms
about in search of an answer.  “It’s dark and I’m not leaving you here by
yourself.”

“After tomorrow, even if it’s dark out,
you won’t be here.”  She smiled bitterly, looking up at the wooden balcony
above them.  “Tonight or tomorrow night, what’s the difference?”

“The difference is that I’m here with you
now,” Matteo rebutted defiantly.   “And I’m not going anywhere until you are
with them.”

But her eyes melted in a plea for him not
to insist.