Crave (Tainted Angels Book 1) (22 page)

“G
rub’s up!” Lincoln shouted from the main area of our apartment. “Willa?” His voice grew nearer as he came to find me.

Quickly I flicked my smoke over the railings of my small balcony and emptied my lungs with a swift hefty blow, wafting my hand in front of my face to dispel the smoke quicker.

Turning back into the room, I shuffled to a stop when I met Linc standing with one of his blond eyebrows elevated and his lips twisted, his tongue clicking away like one of those pendulum thingies. Clearing my throat, I grinned at him and walked out of the room before he had a chance to lecture me on my new habit.

It had been three days since I’d returned from Gehenna. Neither Rax nor Delilah had made an appearance, and neither of them had linked with me. I was starting to worry about Rax, even if I did want to watch Delilah play ping pong with his balls. He’d snapped me out of … whatever the hell had happened, and then he’d limped away. I was worried he was hurt. And then I was angry that I was worried. I hoped his dick shrivelled up and fell off.

Confused wasn’t in it. My brain was fried, my heart was torn in two, and my soul – if I actually had one – had decided existing wasn’t worth it. I just felt empty.

“There’s a package there for you.” Lincoln pointed to a square box on the counter with a large spoon before he dished some yummy looking stuff into two bowls and slid one over to me when I perched on a stool at the bar.

I’d told Lincoln everything that had happened over the past week. He was angry with Rax and hurt for me but he wasn’t surprised. Yet he’d been the brother I knew he was. He’d stepped up to the mark with ice-cream, movies and lots of hugs. And I couldn’t love him more than I did for it.

“When are you actually planning on going to see your parents?” he mumbled around a mouth full of the delicious beef casserole he’d rustled up.

“You know, I’m thinking of getting a hound. You think he’d be okay in here?” I looked around the room, considering the size of a hound and the size of our apartment.

“Don’t, Willa.”

I sighed and nodded slowly, giving him one last pout to see if he’d back down. Yeah, not a chance. “I’ll go in the morning, I promise.”

He eyed me sceptically. “They’re worried about you.”

“Fine!” I lifted my hands up in surrender. “I’ll go after supper. How’s that?”

“Better.” He gave me one of his smiles that made me love him even more. I noticed how pale he was and my stomach sank.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m good.” He brushed me off quickly. I knew he didn’t want to talk about it but we needed to, yet every time I brought the subject up he would hastily change it and for some bizarre reason we’d end up on a topic of his choice. Lincoln was very manipulative. That was why he made such a good hunter, directing his prey without them even realising.

“Lincoln.”

He grumbled something at me then slid off his stool and shovelled his food into the bin. “Let me know when you’re back from visiting your parents.”

I gave him a small nod and watched his back when he walked away, the slump of his shoulders telling me exactly how he felt.

The beef casserole suddenly didn’t taste so great. I pushed my plate aside, slid off my stool and dragged my reluctant body through the halls to my parents’ suite.

My mother gave out her custom choked sobbing noise when I tapped on their door and popped my head in. I always knocked; I had done since I was eighteen and walked in on my mother doing something unusual with my father’s … yeah, you get my drift.

“Willa!” She burst out of her chair, nearly tripping over the bottom of her dressing gown to get to me, and huddled me into a tight hug. “We’ve been so worried.”

“I know,” I whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry.” And I genuinely was. I hated to see her upset, but I hated to disappoint my father even more.

He sighed and grumbled something but also pulled me into a suffocating hold. “We’re four corridors away and we don’t see you for days,” he drawled. “Your mother has been out of her mind.”

He meandered over to the small drinks cabinet and proceeded to fix me a cranberry Bud in a tall glass, bless him. Handing it to me, he settled himself into the armchair he always occupied and slid his thinly wired glasses up his nose so he could study me.

I took a hefty swallow of my drink when my father inhaled deeply. His eyes narrowed and I watched in horror when he tipped his head slightly at the scent he pulled in. His eyes then widened and he gave me the killer glare that always saw me cowering. “You’ve been smoking!”

I shook my head slowly from side to side but when his glare grew fiercer I started to nod. “It’s just …”

“It’s just flipping unhealthy!” he barked, my body twitching like a chastised four-year-old.

“Well it’s not like I’m going to bloody die from it, is it?” I cringed at my tone, lowering my eyes and biting my lip as I waited for him to explode.

“Willa,” my mother whispered as she plonked down beside me on the couch. Taking my hand into hers, I noticed her tremble … and how icy cold her grip was.

The room seemed to rush at me like I was on a rollercoaster, everything blurring in my vision as my heartrate ramped up to unparalleled levels.

Seeing my reaction, she cursed quietly and dropped my hand.

“No!” My voice sounded nothing like I’d intended. It was meant to be shouted, screamed, but it came out a choked whisper.

My father closed his eyes and then dropped to the floor on his knees and shuffled across the carpet to us. I’d never seen him so unrestricted and human. He always prided himself in his controlled composure; never once had I seen him react to anything, even when his realm were deep in battle, yet as he crawled towards us, tears streaming down his face, I couldn’t cope. I couldn’t witness this strong man so … so damn distraught. I couldn’t breathe when the people I loved were dying like cattle at the slaughter house.

“WHY?” I screamed as I shot up. “Why is he doing this to us?”

“Willa, please.” My mother grabbed my hands and tried to pull me back down. “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay. It wasn’t okay to see my resilient and dangerous father weep into the lap of the woman he loved, the woman he was going to lose to the damn virus his master had created, just to slay his own family.

The air in the room seemed to ripple, both heat and an icy breeze radiating around us. I gritted my teeth, attempting to stop the rage that was desperately trying to free itself from inside me.

“It’s not okay!” I cried. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

I wanted to rip God’s heart from his chest and crush it beneath my fists. I wanted to choke all life out of him for doing this to me, to us. What was so special about me that he would do this? Kill his own people with a filthy fucking virus just to slaughter me.

My chest heaved as I struggled to pull in regular breaths, my lungs aching with the frequent but small amounts of oxygen they managed to pull in.

The lights in the room were going crazy, the fire that had been flickering in the fireplace now a heaving roar of orange and blue flames. A hum rattled my skull and my fists clenched by my sides.

“Willa!” my mother shouted, her voice muted and eerie in my ears. “Stop it!”

I couldn’t control it, it was tearing at my skin, searing at my flesh for freedom, my teeth rattling and the incessant hum in my head growing louder with each passing second.

“WILLA!”

My head tilted back and my arms started to lift high. It was happening again – and I couldn’t stop it.

Panic set in as I fought with whatever was trying to tear from me, my mother’s screams and my father’s pleading fighting with my soul to overpower the demon. But I couldn’t hold it, it was too strong.

“STOP!”

I gasped, my lungs filling rapidly. My body sagged in relief as everything slammed to a sudden halt. The air in the room shifted back to normal and the hum in my head ceased as though it had never been there in the first place.

Opening my eyes to look for the owner of the unfamiliar female voice that had, evidently, managed to stop the demon from making an appearance, I stilled when the most stunning woman stood in front of me, shielding my parents from my fury. She was around my height and she had curves I was envious of. Her hair was a stunning golden blonde as it fell down her shoulders and came to a stop at her thighs. But it was her striking blue eyes that locked me in her beauty, her long lashes sweeping across her perfectly contoured cheekbones as she slowly blinked.

“Hello, Willa,” she whispered, her voice like liquid gold that seeped inside me and made me feel good, my body sighing as it relaxed.

I blinked, looking around. Something wasn’t right but it wasn’t until my gaze hit my parents that I realised exactly what was wrong. Nothing moved. Even the air was still.

“Are they okay?” I whispered, even though I somehow knew they were.

She smiled softly and nodded. “They’re fine.”

Everything was frozen, as if time had just … stopped. My father’s tears were unmoving down his cheeks, his hand reaching up towards me as if he had been trying to grab me. My mother was staring wide-eyed my way, her mouth a perfect ‘O’ but her hands clamped at either side of her head and covering her ears.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, lowering my eyes in guilt. “I couldn’t control it. I was angry.”

“I know.” She smiled and then gestured to the couch for me to sit.

It was a bit weird sitting beside my frozen parents but I shifted my attention to the woman, trying to ignore the horrified expressions on my mother and father’s faces.

“I’m not sure what to do.”

The woman’s flawless brow creased. “Do?”

I shrugged, feeling stupid. “Should I bow, kiss your hand? I’m not sure of the etiquette.”

She shook her head, giving me another of her brilliant smiles. “You need do nothing but talk to me.”

“Okay.” I swallowed and cleared my throat. “What should I call you? Alpha? Almighty?”

She leaned forwards, amusement on her face. “Well, I’m essentially your grandmother, but I’d like it if you call me Mary.”

I quirked a brow at her. “As in the virgin?”

She scoffed and shook her head. “Coincidence is sometimes cruelly mocking.”

Taking my hand in hers, I looked down when a soft warmth stroked my skin. “Things are changing Willa. You need to be prepared.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening. Things are … crazy. It’s all a mess and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do,” I said, feeling completely inferior and useless. “Everyone is suffering because of me. I can’t fight. I can’t even aim a bloody gun. How the hell am I supposed to … do anything?”

Her smile grew softer, her eyes radiating a tenderness that made me want to cry. “You expect too much of yourself, dear child. And things are not exactly how you see them.” I frowned, her riddles not making sense. “But there’s one thing you need to know.” I looked up at her expectantly, hoping and praying that she would give me some sort of direction, some insight into what made me so important. “Your parents love you, Willa. Your friends love you. Diablo loves you. Delilah loves you. Lincoln loves you. I love you. Rax loves you.” She chuckled when I mumbled something about his balls and a table tennis racquet. “You aren’t alone, Willa. You don’t need to do this alone.”

“Do what? What am I expected to do?”

I shivered when she brushed her thumb over my cheek, sliding my hair to one side. “I’m dying,” she revealed with a smile. How can anyone say that and combine their devastating revelation with a damn smile?

Somehow I wasn’t surprised. Bitterness crept in and I looked at my mother. “Everyone is,” I whispered.

“You will take my place, Willa Eden.”

My head snapped round so quickly I’m sure my eyes wobbled in my head when it slammed to a halt. “What?” It came out high pitched and squeaky. “I can’t ... I can’t do … I’m not …”

She laughed at my horror. “You will, dear child. However there is work to be done first.”

Very gently she touched my cheek, her palm soaking my skin with warmth. “You must remember that not everything is as it may seem.”

“A clue would be handy,” I grumbled then cursed myself at my rudeness, but Mary didn’t appear to be offended.

“You must also remember that you are very, very special. You’re experiencing your evolving demonic side at the moment. Yet its rage is only because you subdue it. Allow it free, Willa. It, like Delilah, was born in you. You need it for the upcoming battle.”

“Battle?”

She nodded, her expression taking a sombreness that I didn’t like the look of. “Many are impatiently waiting for my passing. They think they are owed the presidency I am. But it’s not theirs to gain, Willa. It is yours. It was your father’s and now it is yours.”

My mouth dried as my pulse threatened to send me into cardiac arrest. “I can’t … I’m just a healer. I can’t ‘save the world’,” I said, making air quotes.

“Willa, listen to your heart.”

I snorted. “How am I capable of doing that? It’s broken.” I winced, feeling stupid.

Mary scowled at me. “You must give Rax a chance to explain. He’s your fated one, Willa.”

“Fated?” I scoffed, growing angry. “He’s already having a child with someone else. We both know that we are granted one child in this existence. And if I do take Rax as my mate … I will surrender my chance to ever be a mother.”