Crave (30 page)

I really wanted Anne and me to be wrong about Tristan being gaze dazed. Over and over, I compared his actions to the others' after making eye contact with me. They just didn't match. With Greg, I'd known almost right away that making eye contact with him had changed him. But the only difference Tristan had shown after making eye contact with me was his desire to date me. Even before our kiss in the uniform closet, he'd constantly found ways to touch me or be close to me. Granted, that might be a leftover effect from when we'd made eye contact in September. But he hadn't attempted to see me or even talk to me for weeks after the first eye contact. So how could he have been gaze dazed then?

Dimly I heard someone yell out my name. I glanced around for the source then jumped as someone shouted my name
again. It came from the MegaVox. I looked up at the bleachers to find an exasperated Mrs. Daniels staring down at me. Uh-oh. No telling how long she'd had to yell to get my attention.

Heat flared into my cheeks as I refocused on running the music for the dancers. Crap. Had everyone on the team seen me staring at Tristan?

Maybe he wasn't the only one gaze dazed around here.

I managed not to look at him again. But it was a constant struggle.

Still lost in thought at the end of practice, I didn't say anything as we walked together back to the dance rooms. He waited in silence as I locked up the sound system in the office closet. When I turned to face him, I found him leaning a shoulder against the doorjamb.

“About our date tonight,” he began.

“Tonight? I don't remember setting it for tonight.” My voice came out as a squeak. I stared at his nose so I could indirectly study the look in his eyes. Nope, he still didn't appear possessed like the others had seemed.

“For our date tonight, I was thinking we should dream connect again. Or at least try to.”

I frowned and stared at the floor. “Tristan, maybe we should just slow down and take a few minutes to really think about this. We're talking about lying to our parents. A lot. And often. My family is going to know if I lie to them. How long do you really think we could keep this a secret? I mean, I want to see you, too, don't get me wrong. But…aren't you worried just the least little bit about the consequences if we get caught?”

He frowned. “We won't get caught. Emily can make you a charm to block your parents from reading your mind.”

It wouldn't be my thoughts that would give away what
we were doing. “Oh, yeah? And is she also going to make a charm that will do something about my face? Because I don't know about you, but I'm a really crappy liar. They're going to be able to tell I'm lying just by looking at me!”

Smiling, he reached out to take my hand and give it a soft squeeze. “You worry too much. Parents aren't all-powerful. Emily and I get away with stuff all the time.”

“Maybe you do. But I've never broken the rules before.”

“Which is exactly what's going to help you now. They won't be scrutinizing everything you say and do. So just focus on something else when you're around them and don't worry about it.”

The warmth from his hand flowed up my arm, soothing me. Then his thumb started caressing my skin in a small, slow circle, making it tough for me to think straight. Probably exactly as he intended.

I tugged my hand free and crossed my arms over my chest. “Tristan, be serious here. I don't want to hurt my family.”

Sighing, he crossed his arms over his chest, too, and frowned. Rocking back on his heels, he asked, “Do you want to be with me?”

“I… Yes. But—”

“And do you think it's fair for our families or the Clann or anyone else to tell us who we can and can't be with?”

“Well, no, I guess not, but they—”

“No buts. I'm tired of others running my life for me. They've kept us apart for seven years. It's time we take back control over our own lives. Do what we think is right. Their issues are theirs, not ours. It's not your fault your family got kicked out of the Clann. And it's not my fault, either. So why punish us?”

I slumped, feeling his arguments physically wearing me down. Fighting him was hard enough. But standing up against
both him and my own heart was starting to feel like an impossible battle. “Exactly how do you expect us to date in secret without someone finding out? Where would we even go on a date?”

He cocked his head in the direction of the dance room next door. “We'll always have the dance room. It can be our place. And we can dream connect. Every night if you want to.”

I thought about his reputation for taking girls to restaurants, to the movies, to parties. He was talking about giving all that up and settling for dates spent sitting on a cold cement floor with takeout or only in our shared imaginations. Not that I'd mind. I'd take any kind of date with him I could get. But what about what he was used to? Wouldn't he miss all that while dating me? He deserved better.

I sighed, unable to escape my biggest worry of all. “Tristan, are you sure this is really you making these decisions?”

His eyebrows drew together in confusion, then he frowned. “Is this about the eye thing again? Savannah, that was over months ago.”

“No, that was a week ago. In the closet, before we…” My face burned, and I couldn't finish.

“So you made eye contact with me again. No big deal. That was just some accidental spell you put on those boys or something. I would have felt it if you'd used any magic on me, and I haven't.”

But it wasn't magic behind the gaze daze. Unfortunately, I couldn't explain that without also telling him about my vampire side. “What if it's not magic? What if it's something else?”

“Like what?”

I ground my teeth, at a loss for an explanation. “Just go with me here on this, okay? What if it's not like doing a spell or whatever, so you can't feel magic being used when I gaze
daze someone? How close were you when I gaze dazed those guys in our ninth-grade algebra class?”

“I don't know, maybe fifty yards?”

“And how far away can you normally feel magic being used?”

“Depends on how strong it is. I've heard everyone on campus can feel it when my energy spikes.” He grinned.

I tried not to roll my eyes. “So then either the gaze daze is a really low level of power use, or it's something that just can't be felt. Right?” Lord, I was so reaching here.

“Fine. Even if it is, I think I'd know if I felt differently when you looked at me. And I didn't.”

“Then why did you act different? Why did you suddenly decide you wanted to be with me? You weren't even speaking to me before you fought with Greg.”

“Savannah, my feelings for you have always been there. I've always needed to be with you. After you ended things with Greg, I just didn't see the point in fighting them anymore.” He stroked my cheek. “It wasn't your eyes that made me want to live my own life for a change. Just you.”

Oh, how I wanted to believe that. I leaned into his hand, feeling every muscle in my body relaxing against my will. I put up one last token argument. “Maybe I should move in with my father, after all. If I was gone, then you could know for sure whether you were thinking clearly or under the gaze-daze effect. And if it turned out to be the gaze daze, maybe with me gone it might wear off—”

“You do and I'll just have to find you,” he growled, but his thumbs made a lie of his ferocious tone by softly caressing my cheeks. “And then it'd be all your fault for making me miss school.”

He
was
pretty used to getting what he wanted all the time.
I could easily imagine him skipping school just to chase down some elusive girl. My lips twitched with the urge to smile.

“You want to know for sure I'm not under a spell?” he asked.

“It would be nice, yes.”

“Then look at me.”

I looked at his nose.

“My eyes, Savannah. Look into my eyes. And keep looking. See if they change like those other guys' did.”

No way, I could
not
do it to him a third time. The effects would never wear off at this rate.

“Look at me.”

“I can't.”

“Look at me, damn it!”

Shocked, my gaze popped up to meet his against my will.

And it was Tristan Coleman staring back at me, with the exact same eyes I remembered from my childhood.

“Keep looking. Tell me if they change,” he murmured.

I began to shake. This was too intense, staring into his eyes, searching them for signs that I was robbing him of sanity and free will like I'd done to Greg and the others.

The bell rang, signaling the end of first period. But neither of us moved. The seconds ticked by.

After another long minute, he said, “Well? Still me in there?”

I nodded, though I could hardly believe it. I had spent months getting used to the idea that every male I made eye contact with would go nuts. Yet here was Tristan, the one boy I wouldn't mind having for a stalker, and he didn't seem the slightest bit affected. Could he be wearing a family charm that protected him from the gaze daze? Were all descendants immune to it automatically? Maybe it was like their trying to
read a vampire's mind…they had somehow built up a genetic defense against the vamp's gaze-daze effect?

I would have to ask my mom if she had ever been gaze dazed by my dad.

His hands slid down my shoulders and arms to hold my hands. “Then are we done arguing about this? Will you be my girlfriend?”

As if my heart had really ever given me a choice otherwise. Swallowing down a rising lump in my throat, I nodded and tugged my hands free so I could wrap my arms around his waist. I grinned, the rightness of this sensation making me wonder now why I had ever tried to fight it. He was right. The Clann's rules were stupid. If ever two people were meant to be together, we were it. And it was time we decided for ourselves for a change.

“Good.” He kissed me, softly at first, then harder, gathering me against him until I couldn't tell who held who tighter.

He lifted his head with a gasp for air then grinned down at me. “Your gaze might not affect me, but kissing you definitely does.” He stared down at me, and it was both terrifying and wonderful to stare back up at him. “Did you know your eyes turn silver when I kiss you?”

They should turn brown. He made me feel like I'd downed an entire pot of coffee when he kissed me. I was practically vibrating with energy.

Unfortunately, second period called, and life didn't revolve around kissing Tristan Coleman. Although I was starting to wish it did.

Tristan

I hadn't stopped grinning all morning. I flopped into my chair beside Emily in the cafeteria, and like a magnet, Savannah drew my gaze. She was so incredibly beautiful. And I was
the lucky guy who got to kiss her. As I watched her standing in the food line, her cheeks turned pink. Could she feel me staring at her? Now that I knew she was a descendant by birth, I had a hunch she just might be able to sense my attention, after all.

“Okay, now I
know
something's wrong with you,” Emily said.

“Hmm? Why's that?”

“First Dad finds you still passed out in the backyard at lunchtime on Saturday.”

“I wasn't drunk.”

“Uh-huh. Then you act like you're hung over until Sunday—”

“Can't be hung over if there's no booze or drugs involved.”

“I tell you to go draw some energy from the ground—”

“Which I did, and it worked, thank you.”

“And you seemed fine last night. But now you're flopping around like a rag doll again, only you're wearing a goofy grin.”

“Hmm. You're right. I am pretty tired again. Think Mrs. Harper will mind if I sleep through Spanish this afternoon?”

She stared at me for a long minute with that frown she always wore when she was working on a problem. “Tell me something. You got home awfully late Friday night. You wouldn't happen to have gone on a date with someone after the game?”

“Yeah, actually, I did.” Best date of my life, other than the dream one later that night.

“Would it have been with anyone I know?”

“Maybe. She's a student here.”

“A Charmer?”

“Sort of.”

“A redheaded junior who is
so off-limits?
” she hissed with shocked fury.

I cringed. “Maybe. Hey, did you know her family used to be in the Clann before her mom broke some rule and they were kicked out?”

She sighed and threw up her hands in the air. “You're an idiot. I knew you always liked her. But to actually break the rules and date her? There's a
reason
her family was kicked out of the Clann.”

“Oh, yeah? And what is it?”

“I don't know. But it must have been huge for them to cast out her whole family. And now you tell me you're dating an outcast descendant, and every time you see her, you're weak afterward. You did see her this morning at Charmers practice, right?”

“Oh, yeah. I saw her.” I grinned at the memory of our goodbye kiss. Make that kisses.

“What if she's draining you?”

My grin dropped straight into a scowl. Emily could be such a mood killer sometimes. “She's not draining me.” Kissing Savannah was the best feeling ever.

“How would you know? Have you ever been drained before? You have no idea what it feels like.”

Good point. Know-it-all brat. “And you do?”

She glared back at me. Ha! She didn't know what it felt like, either.

Which was all off topic anyways. “Look, Savannah wouldn't do that to me. Why would she? If she's got that kind of power, she could draw from nature just like the rest of us.”

“Not if she was never trained to. What if this is her power's way of leaking out of control? Or what if this is part of the reason her family was cast out? They could all be power
leeches. Or what if she's draining you as revenge for her family being cast out?”