Crave (29 page)

“Okay.” I walked over to him, my bare feet making a whispering sound with every step across the cool grass. When he held my hand, the warmth and strength I felt from his touch seemed every bit as real as if I'd been awake.

He smiled down at me, his eyes like mysterious emeralds in the silver light. He led me deeper into the forest, and I realized neither of us seemed to feel any pain, despite the fact that we were both barefoot. Shouldn't we have stepped on sticker burrs or pinecones by now? I looked down. A thick bed of soft moss covered the entire forest floor and halfway up the trees like a green snowbank. It felt spongy beneath my feet, like walking on a cool, thick towel.

We continued in silence for a while until we came to a clearing with a waterfall and a stream. On the bank, someone had spread a blanket and left a picnic basket. The moonlight shone in slanting rays through the trees here, making me
yearn to dance and spin among them like a little kid. It all felt so familiar, too, as if I'd been here before.

“Come sit with me,” he said, and I was only too happy to follow him to the blanket.

“This is where I wish I could have taken you for our first date. Somewhere as beautiful as you.”

“Me, beautiful? Now I know this is a dream.”

“What if I told you this wasn't a normal dream? That our minds really are connected right now?”

“Uh-huh. So you're saying you're not just a figment of my imagination?”

“Basically, yeah.” He traced a finger over the back of my hand, then he looked at me, and I loved the fact that I could safely stare directly into his eyes.

“So then you've done this a lot before? Connected with other people's minds while they're asleep?”

“No, just yours. You're the only descendant I've ever wanted to dream connect with. It takes two descendants to dream connect. Otherwise I could see you but you wouldn't be able to see or hear me.”

“Weird.”

He grinned. “But fun, too. We used to dream connect all the time when we were kids. Do you remember?”

And in a rush, all those dreams came back to me. I
had
been here before…in our dreams. This was our place, our clearing where I'd dreamed that we'd played together count less times. “You ate all my pretend cupcakes when I asked you to, and you helped me decorate our tree house. Oh, and you also showed me how to dig really good tunnels for toy cars! Though I preferred Barbie cars and scooters instead.” I laughed. “My mom used to ask me why I kept chewing off my nails. I told her it was to keep the mud from getting under
them. She never understood, since I didn't play in the dirt in real life.”

He chuckled.

“But why did we stop?”

He frowned, thinking about it for a moment. “Well, it hasn't been for my lack of trying lately. I thought at first that it was because my parents stuck some charms or a spell on my room. But I managed to get around that. Connecting has still been hit or miss, though.” He tilted his head, studying me. “Something's different about you tonight.” He kept staring at me for a long moment, then snapped his fingers. “That's it. Your necklace. You always wear that gold locket.”

I instinctively reached for my necklace, then remembered. “Oh, yeah, I had to take it off tonight. It was tangled in my hair. And then I couldn't get it back on, so I just left it off.”

“When did you get it? Did someone in your family give it to you?”

I nodded. “My grandmother gave it to me…in the fourth grade.”

We stared at each other in understanding.

“That's gotta be it,” he said. “The locket must have a charm on it that keeps you from connecting to me. Otherwise we'd have no problem. Everyone's parents in the Clann can dream connect. My parents joke about it all the time.”

And obviously my vampire genes hadn't prevented it before.

“Okay. But how do I know what you're saying is true, that we're really connecting and my subconscious isn't just making all this up?”

“Easy. Tell me something now that I wouldn't know in real life, and I'll repeat it to you Monday morning.”

“Okay.” I had to think for a minute, then it came to me. “Tonight, my father tried to talk me into moving in with him and switching schools.”

Tristan stared at me, his smile fading. “Are you making that up?”

I shook my head.

“What was your answer?”

“I told him no way. I barely know him. And he's…” I almost said he was a vampire and a council spy. “He definitely cares more about his job than me.” I told him how my father had left my dance recital early last spring without seeing my jazz routine.

“Ouch, that must've hurt. Did he say why?”

I pulled up a section of moss at the edge of the blanket, choosing my answer carefully. “His family doesn't approve of my dancing. That was the night he asked me to totally quit dancing.”

“But you tried out for the Charmers anyways, right?”

I nodded. “His family pulled some strings and made sure I didn't make the team, though.”

He muttered a curse almost too quiet for me to hear. “I'm sorry your dad and his family suck. But at least you tried to fight for what you wanted.”

My eyes stung. I shrugged and stared down at the hunk of moss in my hands, tearing off the little fuzzy pieces from its surface. After a while, I swallowed. “Maybe we could talk about something else.”

“Okay.” He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear so I couldn't hide behind it anymore. “Have I told you how brave I think you are?”

That made my cheeks burn. “Yeah, right.” I wasn't brave at all. Just one secret date with Tristan had made me shake in my shoes with guilt and fear that we'd end up getting caught.

“No, you really are,” he murmured, his voice dropping even lower. “It's one of the things I kind of admire about you.”

“Tristan, if I was so brave, I would be dancing with the Charmers now anyways.”

“What about all the stuff you do for the Charmers?”

I frowned in confusion. “Like what?”

“Like how you're not afraid to be alone on campus early in the mornings and late at night after practice. Or when you go to the school alone during a home game just to get another hat for one of the dancers.”

Part of me wanted to hold on to those words like they were treasured bits of gold. He seemed almost proud of me, or at the very least impressed. But I had to shrug off his words. He just didn't know what I really was. Why would I be afraid of being on campus alone? I was the scariest thing that would ever walk those grounds, what with my monstrous mixed blood. Not that I could ever hope to explain any of that without totally repulsing him.

“Well, what about you?” I said to change the focus back to him. “I mean, you're not supposed to even be friends with me. Yet you asked me out on a date. And kept asking for a week.”

“Because you're irresistible.” Grinning, he leaned closer to me.

I had to smile back. “Oh, yeah, so irresistible you just had to break fifty years of tradition and become the Charmers first male manager?”

I was joking, but he became serious. “Well, yeah. How else would I get to be around you enough to convince you to date me?”

I made a face and threw the clump of moss at him. “Ugh, I knew it! You sneaky—”

Laughing, he pulled me over to him, swallowing my annoyed groans and grumbles in a kiss. It was like plugging myself into a low-voltage battery minus the unpleasant shock…
I could feel the electric energy, so warm, so bright and good, flowing from him to me, filling me up. The energy rushed to my head, pulsed against the top of my skull, pounded through my heart…

 

I woke up with a jolt, already grinning. That had to have been the best dream
ever
. I wished I could go back to sleep and pick up where it had ended. But I'd promised to spend some much-needed girl time with my friends today. I only saw them at lunch lately since I'd been so busy with team stuff. Anne would be picking me up in an hour for a group trip to the nearest mall, about thirty minutes away in the small city of Tyler. We were all going to do last-minute costume shopping for the Fall Ball, which the Charmers would be hosting next weekend.

Not that it really mattered what I wore, since I'd be working the concession stand all night. I just missed getting to hang out with my friends beyond lunch at school every day. I jumped out of bed and got ready. I hesitated, then put on my locket. Was it really charmed?

When Anne pulled up an hour later in her forest-green Ford F150, I yelled goodbye to Nanna and ran to the truck. It must have rained last night after I got home. The thick bed of damp pine needles beneath my shoes was soft and spongy, reminding me of the moss in my dream last night and making me grin.

Since Anne had picked me up first, I got to ride shotgun. I hopped onto the front seat in one step.

“Whoa, you're energetic this morning.” Anne gave me a startled scowl as she backed out of the driveway.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Since when did you become a morning person?”

“This morning, I guess.” I shrugged. Actually, now that
I thought about it, I really did feel amazing. “Hmm, that's weird. I don't know, I just had this great dream and woke up with all this energy.”

“What'd you do, drink a ton of energy drinks in that dream?”

“No. But I did kiss a really hot guy in it.”

She rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at the edges of her lips. “All right, all right. Tell me all about it.”

“Okay. But I won't tell you who, so don't bother asking.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because. So listen…he's standing there at the edge of a forest, and he holds out a hand and says, ‘Come walk with me.'” I did my best to imitate Tristan's deep voice. “Then we go into this forest, and the floor is all covered in really soft moss—”

“Oh, brother,” she muttered. “Do you realize it is all of nine o'clock in the morning and you sound more hyper than Michelle usually is? Honestly, try to remember you're talking to the unconverted night owl here, and sound less like a squirrel high on drugs.”

“But, Anne, I have to tell you about this dream before we pick up Carrie and Michelle, and we're almost to Carrie's house already. If I tell them about it, they'll just tease me and ruin a perfectly fabulous dream.”

She sighed. “Fine, by all means, continue where you left off. But just so you know, you are officially banned from caffeine for the rest of this trip.”

I hurried through the dream so I could tell her how the kiss at the end had seemed to fill me with energy. “And kissing Tristan in the dream was
just
like kissing him in real life—”

She slammed on the brakes and yanked the truck over to the side of the road.

Savannah

I gasped, “Anne, what are you—”

“You kissed
Tristan?
Is this the Tristan I think it is, as in Tristan Coleman, the guy who dated you then
dumped
you in the fourth grade?”

What had I said? Biting my lower lip, I replayed my own words then cringed. Yep, I'd slipped and said his name despite being so careful not to. Oh, crap. I shouldn't have even told Anne about the dream. But it had been such an amazing dream, and I hated not having a single person to share it with.

So I told her almost everything. I told her about how Tristan had stepped in and fought Greg for me in September, and then I'd accidentally gaze dazed him, too. I told her about his joining the Charmers as a manager and escort after his parents made him quit all sports as punishment for fighting Dylan during a game. And how he and I had ended up on our secret first date last night.

Being able to talk to someone about Tristan was such a huge relief, even if Anne wasn't exactly his biggest fan. But
either she was mellowing out or she'd given up on hating him as much as she used to, because even though I was braced for it, she didn't give me even one warning about his being a player who would only break my heart. And out of all the people in my life to accidentally slip and confess to, there was no one better than Anne, Jacksonville's very own human vault of secrets. She had never once spilled anyone's secret, not even in anger or revenge. So I knew I could trust her with the details about Tristan and me.

And yet…I still couldn't tell her everything. I couldn't tell her about my father, or anything about the existence of vampires. What might the vampire council do if she learned about their existence and they found out about it? I also couldn't tell her that my family used to be in the Clann.

She already knew about the Clann's abilities, though. Or at least strongly suspected.

“They're all a bunch of witches, aren't they?” she said. “I
knew
it. Everyone says they are, and I believe it. You know why? Because it explains everything. I mean, how else would he have saved you all those times? It had to have been either magic or some crazy high-tech CIA-mind-control type gear he gave me. They just worked way too well and way too fast.”

Huh? “Anne, what are you talking about?”

She pressed her lips together, considered then nodded. “He never made me promise not to tell, so… Do you remember how all your gaze-daze victims just suddenly left you alone?”

“Yeah, but that was because the effects wore off.”

“Sorry, my friend, but no. Tristan gave me these little heart candies every time you got a new stalker. He asked me to put them in your backpack and duffel bag. And immediately your stalkers stayed away. I always wondered how he did it, though.”

“And now you're thinking it was some kind of magic spell?”

She nodded.

So it wasn't just the gaze-daze effects eventually wearing off. I'd had help all along.

At first, I absolutely melted at the idea of Tristan secretly playing knight in shining armor for me. He was so incredibly sweet and good to me, looking out for me like that months before we'd even started talking again. Not to mention the fact that his working with Anne could not have been fun for either of them.

But then the blood drained from my head and seemed to pool in my toes, taking my smile right along with it. Oh, no. If this was true, then…

“What?” she demanded.

“I've made eye contact with Tristan twice now. Once right after he fought with Greg in September, and then again last week. Though I could swear he wasn't affected.” I cringed in anticipation of Anne's reaction. She hadn't thought me too brilliant when I'd messed up with Greg. I could guess how she'd react this time.

She leaned back against her door with a thump. “And you said ever since he's been asking you out?”

I nodded, saw the direction of her thoughts and felt sick to my stomach.

“No wonder. He's gaze dazed.” She sounded like a doctor announcing I had cancer.

Suddenly it was hard to breathe. My fingers twisted together. “But he didn't
look
possessed like the others. And besides, why would he want to help with the algebra boys? That was way before he and I ever made eye contact.”

“That was just guilt from dumping you so badly in the fourth grade.”

I cringed. “You really think so?”

“The pattern behind his actions seems pretty clear to me. He protected you from the Warty Boys in algebra and then later from Greg because he was feeling guilty for being such a jerk for years. And then you popped him with the gaze daze, so he joined the Charmers so he could be around you, then was driven by a second hit of the gaze daze to ask you out until you finally gave in.” She stared at me like it was all too obvious and I was an idiot for even doubting it. “Why else would Mr. Macho go from not talking to you at all to joining your dance team and begging you twice a day to date him?”

So much for the knight-in-shining-armor image.

My stomach cramped so hard I had to wrap my arms around myself.

I remembered how Tristan had smiled at me last night, how he'd held me while we danced, how he'd touched my face as if I were something delicate and precious while he kissed me. How he'd staggered and seemed ready to fall over after our kiss, and was worried that I might not want to see him again. And how I'd wondered why in the world he would be so into someone like me. Oh, crap. Anne was right. I
knew
it had all been way too good to be true.

“Fine, he's gaze dazed.” Anger at myself and the whole situation, along with a sinking sensation I didn't want to think about just yet, made me snap. I took a deep breath, blinked away the burning sensation in my eyes and tried not to take it out on her. “Okay, so now what? If he's the only reason those other guys left me alone…who's going to save
him?
”

“His sister?”

“I can't ask her for help! Can you see that conversation? ‘Hi, Emily, I'm the reason your brother has gone all goofy and obsessed lately. Listen, could you do a spell to keep him away from me? I know it's my fault, but it would be such a big
help. Thanks so much!'” I shook my head. “Yeah, that would go over so well.”

She sighed and put the truck back into gear. “Well, you can always go with plan B. See how long it really takes for the effects to wear off without help.”

The only problem was…that evil side deep within me didn't want the effects to wear off Tristan. Ever. “Or there's plan C.”

“Which is?”

“Do what my father wants, switch schools and move in with him.”

“Oh, you will
not
move in with your dad! Coleman can just get over it naturally. I'm not losing my best friend just because some player finally got hit with a dose of karma.”

I sighed, my shoulders slumping in defeat. No matter what I did, someone was going to be hurt. And it would be all my fault. Again.

 

That night as I climbed into bed, I wondered…what if I really had dream connected with Tristan last night? Would he try to connect with me again tonight? And if he did, should I try to end the dream? If he didn't see me anymore, at least romantically, maybe the effects would wear off faster. It seemed almost cruel to encourage his feelings for me when, as Anne had clearly pointed out, they obviously were just a product of the gaze daze.

Which meant nothing about our date had been real, either. The dancing, the kisses, his asking to see me again… He was just acting from a vampire effect I'd put on him.

And I was a horrible, selfish person for even partly wanting him to stay under that spell.

Reluctantly, I took off my gold locket. If we dream con
nected again tonight, I would do the right thing and tell him I couldn't date him anymore.

The next morning, I didn't know whether to be grateful or depressed that I hadn't dreamed about him at all.

What I did know was that it was time to learn how to control this awful gaze of mine. Unfortunately, the only person who knew how to control vampire abilities without magic wasn't answering his stupid cell phone, because apparently my father was still too busy with his precious council. I thought about leaving him a message then decided against it. A panicked plea for help would only make this into a huge deal the council would want to get involved in, and who knew what would happen then. Better just to wait until he called me again. Then I could casually ask about the gaze daze's cure in general as a hypothetical situation.

He'd said he would be out of contact for a while. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long, though. Because in the meantime, it looked like I would be on my own to clean up the mess I'd made.

 

And what a gorgeous mess he was as he leaned against the foyer doors of the sports and art building Monday morning.

I gulped and steeled myself even as the familiar ache slammed into me. The pain wasn't too bad today. Maybe my body had gotten its fill of his kisses for a while.

I also felt something else, though…a strange tingling at the back of my neck, as if I were being watched. I shook it off. Of course I was being watched. Tristan was staring straight at me.

How in the world would I work beside him today without everyone knowing how I felt?

“Good morning, Savannah,” he said, taking my tea from me just like always while I unlocked the doors.

“Good morning, Tristan.”

He didn't say anything as we crossed the entrance hall. When we started up the stairs, I dared to breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe Anne was wrong and he wasn't gaze dazed, after all. It was going to be okay. I would just have to be sure to see him only at school and nowhere else.

So why did I still feel so miserable?

Sighing again, I led the way into the dim hall.

And shrieked when he grabbed me from behind, spun me around and kissed me. My blood began to sing through my veins, humming in my ears like the dull roar of a far-off ocean.

“Now that's the proper way to say good-morning,” he mumbled against my lips. I had to cling to his shoulders so I could stay standing.

Oh, crap. I couldn't think straight. He stepped away from me and leaned back against the wall. There was something I'd wanted to talk to him about. Some reason kissing him was a really bad idea. But with my blood whooshing through my head so loudly, I couldn't remember why feeling this pumped with energy would ever be a bad thing.

He definitely knew how to kiss.

I stumbled over to the dance room to begin my usual unlocking routine. And yet, I had a feeling nothing would be normal about our routine ever again.

He followed me into the office, grunting a little as he picked up the sound system.

He'd never acted like the sound system was heavy before. Distracted, I raised my eyebrows in silent question.

“Heavy today,” he muttered with a half grin.

“Uh-huh, let me see.” I took the MegaVox case from him and lifted it with just two fingers. “No, it's lighter today, actually.” Just to be sure, I opened the hard plastic lid and
peeked inside. Yep, the fifty-pound MegaVox was still in there. Hmm, weird. Snapping the lid shut, I handed the case back, and he oomphed again.

“What's the matter, didn't eat your Wheaties this morning?” I teased as we headed down the stairs. But my mind was focused on yesterday's talk with Anne. She and I
had
to be wrong. Nothing about Tristan's facial expression or actions was anything like how Greg and the algebra boys had appeared. Still, Anne was more objective than me, and even she thought Tristan had to be gaze dazed. So he must be. Right?

“Didn't get much rest this weekend,” Tristan replied. “Which reminds me…how's your dad taking the news that you won't be moving in with him?”

My brain blanked out again. “He's out of town for a while. But how… Did you talk to Anne?”

“No.” He reached the bottom of the stairs, standing so close I had to tilt my head back to look up at him.

“Then how did you…?” The dream. Our minds really had been connected.

He smiled down at me, a soft smile that made me feel shaky inside. “I told you Friday night in our dream.” He gave me a quick peck on my lips that robbed me of thought yet again. “Uh, not to sound less than manly here, but we should get moving before I drop this stuff. I swear it really is heavier today.”

In stunned silence, I followed him out of the building. As we walked down the campus road, the wind made the woods at our right sigh and sway just like the trees had in our dreams together. I replayed every dream conversation we'd had, alternately fighting a blush or a groan at each thing I remembered saying to him. I would
never
wear just a T-shirt to bed again.

And then I remembered something else, and the words just blurted right out of me. “So you fought Dylan because of me.”

“Yep. He was being an ass, saying stuff about you. He's lucky I didn't bust his lip while I was at it.”

Which meant in a way, he'd lost the ability to play football for the entire last month of the season because of me. While the trees still blocked us from the view of the practice field, I reached over and wrapped an arm around Tristan's waist, giving him a long sideways hug. I felt him kiss the top of my head then murmur, “Like I said, I shouldn't have lost control. It was my fault for letting him rile me up like that.”

Then the trees ended and we had to step away from each other and pretend we were nothing more than a head manager walking with one of her managers. It felt like I was ripping off my arm.

 

It took more effort than usual to hide my feelings for Tristan during practice. Every few seconds, my gaze strayed over to him. And every time I saw him, I thought about kissing him, dancing with him, lying on a blanket with him by a stream in my dream. Make that
our
dream.